If that is the case and I think it is, our focus should be on developing attitudes we can integrate into our belief systems that help us develop an attitude that it’s all going to be ok. Almost everyone that I have worked with as their life coach has suffered needlessly because of their fear that it’s all going to fall apart. Charles Swindell wrote many years ago that it isn’t the fact or circumstances that determine how we feel about our lives, but it is our attitudes.

You’re probably wondering…”yes that’s great, but how do I change my attitude.” I want to let you know that you can change your attitude but it takes work and is a process that keeps evolving.

It begins with your making a fundamental shift as to how you start your day. If you start the day in a hurry and feel anxious, you’ll be anxious all day long.

This is the approach that I encourage others to adopt. Take time to meditate before leaving your house or turning on your computer. Then focus on what you are grateful for. You are more abundant than you realize. You have many inner resources that you take for granted; to give you a few ideas…think about your intelligence, your ability to connect with others including animals and nature…your humor and resilience. If you make this a habit, you’ll be surprised how many inner resources that you do have.

Then take time to be curious about the highlight of your day. Look for the good in every person you meet. As your day progresses, you’re more excited about each new person you meet. It might be at the coffee shop, the bank or at the gas station. There is a light in each of us, but if our eyes are closed we won’t see it. It’s amazing how people respond when you take the time to smile.

Being curious is an antidote to being judgmental. When something happens, rather than judging it as good or bad, or positive or negative, be curious as to how it’s all going to unfold.

By being curious, you won’t be so caught up in giving every event in your life more significance than it deserves.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

in a life coaching session yesterday, i discussed with let’s call him Carl, the importance of having a dream that is independent from what you do in the world. For Carl and many others, the stress and demands from meeting our financial and personal obligations takes most of our energy. We don’t have much left over.

To have a dream that demands more of us and doesn’t help us meet our bottom line, at times seems unrealistic. But that’s exactly what we need to do. Otherwise we are subject to the ups and downs of the external world; our relationships, health, and finances. Carl and many others that I work with as their life coach would like to see peace in the world. Carl is in the process of starting a community of people who focus on inner peace in themselves and in the world.

But he has found much resistance in trying to bring people together. I remember at one time in my life I was faced with the same dilemma. I wrote back then, “Should the visionairies of peace stop loving, then the prophets of doom, will have their day of gloom.” Whatever our dream, we need to keep it alive. Noone else will do it for us. Sometimes just having the dream is enough. As Martin Luther King said, “I might not get to the mountaintop with you,” but he had the dream for others to believe in. Keep the dream alive. There might not be much agreement, right now.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

I have noticed that with some people that I work with as their life coach, their changes are dramatic. They’re not the same person they were when we began our work together.

They have more self-confidence and are excited about the future, but in the back of their mind, they remember that in the past when things started to go well, they sabotaged themselves. Things fell apart and they are now waiting for that to happen again.

It doesn’t have to happen. Once you go through the gate to a new way of thinking, you’ll never go back. That’s what happens when you are on a spiritual path…you are awake and aware of things that previously you were not conscious of.

You can’t go backwards. It’s too late, which is a good thing. I remember when I first began walking on the path of awakening there were times when I wish things were not so clear. I couldn’t deceive myself. I had to take responsibility for my life and could no longer blame others or circumstances, like my parents or what happened as a child.

I remember some people would say, “Ignorance is Bliss.” Once you know the truth you realize that “Ignorance is just Ignorance.” There’s no reason to try to glorify it.

The good news is that as you go forward from here, you’ll have more choices and possibilities to live a more fulfilling and successful life. You won’t go backwards even if you wanted to. On some level you are forever changed.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

If only they would be more reasonable. You probably have said this over a hundred times. Maybe you have said this version. “If only they were easier to deal with.” That’s what we discussed on a call today.

After exploring numerous approaches to make the situation better nothing seemed to change. The other person stayed in their unreasonable mode…or at least that’s the way you saw it.

Perhaps it’s a situation with a past spouse regarding the welfare of your children or it could be with a coworker. The other person in your mind seems to be unreasonable; perhaps even pathologically so. You’ve tried everything. You are frustrated. You want them to change.

I’ve been there countless times. They won’t change unless you change first. Be the example. Don’t go to their level. This is such a common situation. Your challenge….don’t get plugged into their stuff. Since they won’t change, your only choice is to change how you react to them. And over time the dynamic will be different.

Most important is not to take what’s happening personally. When I was a trial lawyer, there were many times when I had to step back from the fray and be the observer. Actually noticing myself interacting with the other attorney. Over time I realized that I had a choice not to get plugged in.

Ask yourself how you want to feel after the interaction. You can be assertive without losing your cool. But there is a fine line that once you cross, your blood pressure starts to rise and you are in the middle of a confrontation. Visualize yourself in control as the interaction in progresses. What I mean control is to be in control of your emotions. That is a choice.

JOURNEY ON

Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

I had a discussion today with someone who saw my work space and made some suggestions as to what I could do to make it more energetically inviting. I agreed with most of her suggestions but was not willing to make all of the suggestions that she recommended. She took this personally….as a sign of disrespect. A feeling of tension ensued.

For a moment it looked like the relationship was over. Relationships need room to breathe. Disagreements often are hurtful, but also an opportunity to get to know the other person on a deeper level. But if you take disagreement personally as a sign of disrespect, then you are shutting off the opportunity for intimacy.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

It’s a great feeling when you can go beyond conflict to the other side. When you don’t it’s limiting.

Learning to not take things personally is an opportunity for you have deeper connection in your life. Take a quick scan of your life…are there situations in your life where you notice where you are blocked? You take something personally and the connection is lost.

Yesterday I wrote that changing the questions you ask yourself, changes how you experience life. Rather than thinking, What Now, you think How can you Serve.

As you start your day I would suggest that you ask yourself one more thing. Use your curiosity to create a great day. Here’s how you do it. Ask yourself what the highlight of your day is going to be. I ask in this way. “I wonder what the highlight is going to be.” I don’t know. I’m curious. As I am writing this, I’m looking at what the rest of my day looks like. As I experience the day I’m curious if this is the moment.

As a life coach I have found that most people make it way too complicated. They go through their day experiencing the same thing they did the day before. They are on automatic pilot and at the end of the day they are tired and drained.

It’s the appreciation of the little things that makes your life extraordinary. The highlights are usually little things that you take for granted. There’s that smile that someone gives you. There’s that listening to what the other person has to say. There’s seeing a beautiful cloud formation or someone playing in the park. Or savoring the flavor of a food that you particularly like….or noticing how beautiful a flower is and what it smells like.

We go through our day overlooking these finer points. But this is what makes the difference in how we experience our lives. Before you know it you have an attitude of gratitude.

And here’s what is really cool…it doesn’t take any more time to notice the little things.It just takes more attention.

JOURNEY ON

MARK
Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

In a life coaching session this morning with let’s call her Sally, a professional and mother, we discussed her tendency to react negatively when clients called her. Sally isn’t the only one. Many clients I work with often have a feeling of dread that comes and go more than they like. When that phone rings they think to themselves, “What now?”

Sally and other clients and I am sure many of you reading this blog tend to overreact to everyday events. It’s like we are waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I reminded Sally that she is in a service profession. Service professionals are there to serve others. However with the demands of running it as a business, they forget why they are in the business in the first place. They want to make a difference.

I suggested to Sally that whenever she gets a phone call during the day that she ask herself, “How can I serve this client?” And to be grateful for the call. Without that call and the call from others she wouldn’t be able to stay in business.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

As we all know at some point in our life we start to feel boxed in by our life circumstances. Our choices seem limited by our beliefs around what is possible in our life. And when we are really honest with ourself we know that our beliefs are just beliefs and not truth.

It’s difficult for many of us to accept this truth, but if you accept it, you will have a new sense of freedom.

What is really disturbing is that these beliefs which limit what’s possible in our lives today are based upon the meaning and significance we gave events that happened when we were kids.

The meaning you have given these past events including characterizations about yourself, such as “you’re not lovable…You don’t deserve better,” are running your life today.

Freeing yourself from this past is the first step in experiencing more personal freedom in your life. Look back at your life and realize that every event and experience that has occurred has made you what you are today.

Take a look at some of your past experiences. Can you give this past experience a different meaning? I know you can but even if you can’t what about being open to the possibility that because of this event you are better for it. Sometimes forgiving yourself or someone else is also freeing. Stop hanging on and let it go. Let go of your attachments and your identification with what has happened. Be willing to give it new meaning.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

In a life coaching session this morning with let’s call him Carl, we discussed Carl’s excessive worry about his life and its inherent challenges. These concerns covered the whole gambit and challenges; relationships, financial and health. From time to time Carl begins to freak out about what he has to do in the next few weeks. And Carl’s concern with money weighs heavily on him.

These concerns have bothered Carl for quite some time. Carl believes like many of those who I work with that when his circumstances change, he won’t worry as much.

I have encouraged Carl to meditate and exercise regularly. However his concerns get in the way of his having a committed program.

Carl is concerned with what might happen in the future which is unknown. We have no way of knowing what might happen. It could be totally different than what we think.

When these circumstances are resolved there will be a new set of circumstances to replace them. That’s the way it alway is. Here’s why I say that.

Carl’s concern is not really about his current set of circumstances but about how he relates to the future which is unknown. It’s always going to be that way. And the future never arrives because it’s always out in the distance.

Carl like many of us needs to change how he relates to the unknown…to uncertainty. I always say make the unknown your friend.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

In a life coaching session with let’s call her Sally, we discussed the way that she perceived herself. When I first began working with her, she was in the process of buying a professional practice. Sally did not think of herself as a confident person. Each day was an emotional struggle for her.

As we continued our work together, Sally became more comfortable with her new practice and the uncertainty that surrounded it.

It’s a fact of life that there will always be uncertainty to some extent. We’re human and have insecurities that have been with us most of our lives.

In the process of self discovery these tendencies diminish.

In our work together, there was a turning point for Sally. We talked about the courage that it took for a 50 year old woman to buy a professional practice. it took a leap of faith by someone who was willing to go for it and had a strong belief in themselves, even with the insecurities.

I asked Sally to start thinking about herself as the type of person who is willing to go for it. As she began to focus on the inner qualities that are necessary to go for it, she began to see herself as a self-confident person and became more comfortable with the uncertainty that the future might hold.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016