In a life coaching session, yesterday, with Sally the focus was on helping her overcome her conditioning regarding abundance. Sally was beginning to reach new pinnacles of success in her accounting business. Yet she still hung onto old belief systems that were preventing her from enjoying her new level of success. She was very reluctant to invest in new equipment for her business that was technologically superior even though her business had doubled in size.

Sally had been so focused on survival and whether should would make it, that she hadn’t taken time to objectively evaluate where she was with her professional development. I suggested that for a moment that she imagine that she had planted seeds. In the beginning we don’t know which ones will make it. Eventually, some plants emerge–then our new focus is to cultivate and to enjoy them.

That’s what professional development is about. The first phase is making it. The next phase is to enjoy your success. Sally was in her new phase. It was time to enjoy the beauty in her life and to allow more joy in her life. Her apprenticeship was over.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

What I have noticed in my years as a life coach is the tendency of so many of us to judge what we’re feeling. This is what I mean. I am sure you are familiar with the “shoulds”…I should have done this…or I shouldn’t have done that. Or worse…what’s wrong with me….I shouldn’t feel this way. ” For example, being jealous of a good friends success. You’re thinking…I shouldn’t feel this way…they’re a good friend.

Well we are human and we are going to have these moments. But it doesn’t mean we flunked personal growth 101.

We all have heard many times…”don’t be so judgmental” and perhaps we have even given this advice to others. Here is a strategy that has been successful with helping some people that I work with get over these feelings.

1. Notice what you are feeling without judging. For example, if you are feeling down, just notice you are feeling down. Don’t go any further as to say to yourself, “Gee, what a loser, I am, for feeling this way.” Don’t get attached to the feeling…imagine it’s just a wind, breezing through.

2. Be curious. For example you might want to experiment with the following dialougue. That’s interesting. I have so much to be thankful for in my life, and yet I’m feeling kind of down.

3. Find the humor. This is the saving grace. It comes back to not taking ourselves so seriously.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

If that is the case and I think it is, our focus should be on developing attitudes we can integrate into our belief systems that help us develop an attitude that it’s all going to be ok. Almost everyone that I have worked with as their life coach has suffered needlessly because of their fear that it’s all going to fall apart. Charles Swindell wrote many years ago that it isn’t the fact or circumstances that determine how we feel about our lives, but it is our attitudes.

You’re probably wondering…”yes that’s great, but how do I change my attitude.” I want to let you know that you can change your attitude but it takes work and is a process that keeps evolving.

It begins with your making a fundamental shift as to how you start your day. If you start the day in a hurry and feel anxious, you’ll be anxious all day long.

This is the approach that I encourage others to adopt. Take time to meditate before leaving your house or turning on your computer. Then focus on what you are grateful for. You are more abundant than you realize. You have many inner resources that you take for granted; to give you a few ideas…think about your intelligence, your ability to connect with others including animals and nature…your humor and resilience. If you make this a habit, you’ll be surprised how many inner resources that you do have.

Then take time to be curious about the highlight of your day. Look for the good in every person you meet. As your day progresses, you’re more excited about each new person you meet. It might be at the coffee shop, the bank or at the gas station. There is a light in each of us, but if our eyes are closed we won’t see it. It’s amazing how people respond when you take the time to smile.

Being curious is an antidote to being judgmental. When something happens, rather than judging it as good or bad, or positive or negative, be curious as to how it’s all going to unfold.

By being curious, you won’t be so caught up in giving every event in your life more significance than it deserves.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

in a life coaching session yesterday, i discussed with let’s call him Carl, the importance of having a dream that is independent from what you do in the world. For Carl and many others, the stress and demands from meeting our financial and personal obligations takes most of our energy. We don’t have much left over.

To have a dream that demands more of us and doesn’t help us meet our bottom line, at times seems unrealistic. But that’s exactly what we need to do. Otherwise we are subject to the ups and downs of the external world; our relationships, health, and finances. Carl and many others that I work with as their life coach would like to see peace in the world. Carl is in the process of starting a community of people who focus on inner peace in themselves and in the world.

But he has found much resistance in trying to bring people together. I remember at one time in my life I was faced with the same dilemma. I wrote back then, “Should the visionairies of peace stop loving, then the prophets of doom, will have their day of gloom.” Whatever our dream, we need to keep it alive. Noone else will do it for us. Sometimes just having the dream is enough. As Martin Luther King said, “I might not get to the mountaintop with you,” but he had the dream for others to believe in. Keep the dream alive. There might not be much agreement, right now.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

I have noticed that with some people that I work with as their life coach, their changes are dramatic. They’re not the same person they were when we began our work together.

They have more self-confidence and are excited about the future, but in the back of their mind, they remember that in the past when things started to go well, they sabotaged themselves. Things fell apart and they are now waiting for that to happen again.

It doesn’t have to happen. Once you go through the gate to a new way of thinking, you’ll never go back. That’s what happens when you are on a spiritual path…you are awake and aware of things that previously you were not conscious of.

You can’t go backwards. It’s too late, which is a good thing. I remember when I first began walking on the path of awakening there were times when I wish things were not so clear. I couldn’t deceive myself. I had to take responsibility for my life and could no longer blame others or circumstances, like my parents or what happened as a child.

I remember some people would say, “Ignorance is Bliss.” Once you know the truth you realize that “Ignorance is just Ignorance.” There’s no reason to try to glorify it.

The good news is that as you go forward from here, you’ll have more choices and possibilities to live a more fulfilling and successful life. You won’t go backwards even if you wanted to. On some level you are forever changed.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

If only they would be more reasonable. You probably have said this over a hundred times. Maybe you have said this version. “If only they were easier to deal with.” That’s what we discussed on a call today.

After exploring numerous approaches to make the situation better nothing seemed to change. The other person stayed in their unreasonable mode…or at least that’s the way you saw it.

Perhaps it’s a situation with a past spouse regarding the welfare of your children or it could be with a coworker. The other person in your mind seems to be unreasonable; perhaps even pathologically so. You’ve tried everything. You are frustrated. You want them to change.

I’ve been there countless times. They won’t change unless you change first. Be the example. Don’t go to their level. This is such a common situation. Your challenge….don’t get plugged into their stuff. Since they won’t change, your only choice is to change how you react to them. And over time the dynamic will be different.

Most important is not to take what’s happening personally. When I was a trial lawyer, there were many times when I had to step back from the fray and be the observer. Actually noticing myself interacting with the other attorney. Over time I realized that I had a choice not to get plugged in.

Ask yourself how you want to feel after the interaction. You can be assertive without losing your cool. But there is a fine line that once you cross, your blood pressure starts to rise and you are in the middle of a confrontation. Visualize yourself in control as the interaction in progresses. What I mean control is to be in control of your emotions. That is a choice.

JOURNEY ON

Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

I had a discussion today with someone who saw my work space and made some suggestions as to what I could do to make it more energetically inviting. I agreed with most of her suggestions but was not willing to make all of the suggestions that she recommended. She took this personally….as a sign of disrespect. A feeling of tension ensued.

For a moment it looked like the relationship was over. Relationships need room to breathe. Disagreements often are hurtful, but also an opportunity to get to know the other person on a deeper level. But if you take disagreement personally as a sign of disrespect, then you are shutting off the opportunity for intimacy.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

It’s a great feeling when you can go beyond conflict to the other side. When you don’t it’s limiting.

Learning to not take things personally is an opportunity for you have deeper connection in your life. Take a quick scan of your life…are there situations in your life where you notice where you are blocked? You take something personally and the connection is lost.