personal growth and development

Embracing Change

Saturday, April 18th, 2009

We all have a unique way of communicating our story, a way that reflects our life experiences. The photographer uses a camera, the artist a brush, and the musician a melody or rhythm. As the years go by our story changes and there is more to tell. We look through a different filter, paint with a different color, sing a different song or feel a different rhythm.

When you have kids, you are reminded that graduations are a time for transition. In some ways we are always transitioning from one phase to another. We are presented with new challenges and opportunities and a new way to look at things.

It seems that in our family there is always a graduation. With one ear I listen to what the various speakers have to say. I think about how rapidly my children have changed and how I have had to let go of some of my expectations in order to stay connected to them.

As I eagerly awaited the moment of my son’s graduation, still just “listening with one ear,” the valedictorian read an inspiring poem and a few students performed original inspirational songs for the occasion. And then the principal addressed the students and their families. She made reference to Spencer Johnson’s classic parable about change, “Who Moved My Cheese.”

It is a paradox of life that while our children change rapidly, we as adults try to put the brakes on the speed of change. We like to think to some degree we are in control of our life by holding on to what we’re used too.

“No,” Hem quickly responded. “I like it here. It’s comfortable. It’s what I know. Besides it’s dangerous out there.”
Johnson, Spencer “Who Moved My Cheese?”

Just like Hem we all live in our comfort zone. It’s what we know. During many periods of my life I’ve become attached to the way things are, resisting the change that might bring it to an end. Eventually it does end. And then I’m faced with a choice. Either be unhappy or adjust to the new phase which was not necessarily what I was expecting. Through the years I’ve learned how to let go and trust that the changes that I experience in this new phase will be exciting, vibrant and full of new challenges. This letting go offers me a new way to look at life… a life in which everyday is new.

Haw said, ”Sometimes, Hem, things change and they are never the same again. This looks like one of those times. That’s life! Life moves on. And so should we.”
Johnson, Spencer. “Who Moved My Cheese?”

Nature has always been one of my most important teachers. Just look at nature’s cycles. Trees bud in the spring and by summer they are full of delicious fruit. In the Autumn, the leaves with their vibrant colors fall from the trees wistfully to the ground. By the time winter arrives most of the trees are barren and the cycle begins anew. You know for certain there’s an intelligence in nature’s way of doing things.

What if we looked at our lives in this way? We know it will be colder in the winter and warmer in the summer, so we dress accordingly. We don’t resist the cycles of nature, so why should we resist the cycles of our lives?

Now, here’s the good part. Since change is coming, we have a golden opportunity. Enjoy the moments fully when things are going well but don’t be attached to them. Be grateful for these moments and cherish them. When things aren’t going so well and you feel discouraged, see your circumstances as temporary just like the wind. Too often, when we are having a hard time, we think it will be forever. As the winds change, you can look forward to a better future. It could happen in a hearbeat. By embracing change as a way of life, you can look forward to change as opportunity, as adventure, as possibility.

It is essential that you have the tools to prepare yourself for this new way of thinking. There’s an increasing awareness of teachings from all walks of life that encourage us to be more open and flexible. As you look inward and take time for reflection through meditation and prayer you become more accepting of our differences and unique rhythms. As you continue on the journey you learn how to embrace change as a way of life.

JOURNEY ON AND DON’T FORGET TO SMILE AND LAUGH A LITTLE BIT MORE THAN YESTERDAY

MARK

Throughout his life, Mark has always made a practice of taking a leap of faith whenever he heard the call for something more. His life has been an unfolding journey of discovery. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

BE WILLING TO GO DOWN A NEW PATH

Tuesday, April 14th, 2009

Do you sometimes feel like you are stuck in your life? It might be a dead-end career or a relationship that has run its course. But rather than making a change, you hang in there, hoping it will get better. You have become more comfortable staying in what’s not working, than exploring the unknown. It’s the fear of the unknown that keeps us stuck in our life. You are not alone.

That’s the way it is with many of the clients who I work with in life coaching. They hope things will get better, so they’re willing to tolerate what’s not working, rather than making a change. They have lost that sense of a life that can be exciting again. Because they are so wrapped up in the struggle of making it, they lost that inner sense of joy and wonder. They would love to be excited about their life again, but are reluctant to make the changes that need to be made.

They hope that something will miraculously change that will inspire them. But it won’t until they are willing to embrace the unknown and embark upon a new path. it’s the willingness to go down that path that you haven’t gone down before…. so that you become an explorer again.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Throughout his life, Mark has always made a practice of taking a leap of faith whenever he heard the call for something more. His life has been an unfolding journey of discovery. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change. 415.453.5016 http://www.inspirepossibility.com

Flexible body….flexible mind

Friday, April 3rd, 2009

I just got back from my chiropractor’s office. For a long time he had been telling me that his role was to help me maintain my spinal health…that because of my age there was a stiffness that I would have to live with and as long as I wasn’t in pain there was nothing to worry about.

I have also been doing yoga for many years. Yoga has given me hope that as I age rather than becoming stiffer and less able to engage in activities, I would become more flexible and be more active no matter how old I was. And I do notice a difference. I’m more flexible than I have ever been and with each year I become more flexible.

So I have to admit that the chiropractors past prognosis was disappointing.

However today he said that he has been noticing that my spine is more flexible than its ever been and that he should have recognized what was possible with a commitment to a regular yoga practice. He said that my progress was an inspiration to him and that I have been actually reversing the aging process.

It reinforces my commitment to a regular practice. Self care is a path not a solution. It’s an evolutionary process. It’s never too late to begin the journey. Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

Smile and don’t forget to laugh a little bit more than yesterday.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Throughout his life, Mark has always made a practice of taking a leap of faith whenever he heard the call for something more. His life has been an unfolding journey of discovery. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change. 415.453.5016 http://www.inspirepossibility.com

On the Path to Mastery

Friday, March 6th, 2009

During our life coaching session yesterday with let’s call him Carl, Carl was concerned that there wasn’t anything he was excited about in his life. His life seemed flat. He would try something and then after a while decide that he didn’t like it. And because this has been his pattern for so long, he was reluctant to try something new unless he heard bells ringing and trumpets blaring.

I explained to Carl that no matter what he does there are going to be moments when his enthusiasm wanes. That’s the learning curve. We have a sense of commitment and sometimes excitement to learn something new but after a while we reach a plateau. It’s no longer fun and we feel stuck. We make a decision that it’s not for us and stop. Then we try something new and come back to the same place with the new thing. It goes on and on until we change our relationship to the plateau.

As George Leonard the author of Mastery encourages…”Learn to love the plateau.” Learn to love that stuck place. On the other side of the plateau is where mastery occurs. When I started going to Salsa classes I reached that plateau. I felt like quitting. But I also was inspired by many of the other dancers who started at the same place I did. I kept at it and then went to the next level. It became fun and once it becomes fun, it has a life of its own.
What I suggested to Carl was that it didn’t matter what he did, as long as he did something. Then in the process of doing, there is the possibility that something great can happen. Carl also felt that he didn’t have any friends. I suggested to him that in the process of learning and being involved is where i have made most of my friends. Years ago I began the study of Tai Chi. In the class I made three life long friends and none of us still do the Tai Chi form that we learned. But out of the doing, something greater occurred.

Put yourself out there and transcend the plateau. Smile and laugh a little bit more than yesterday.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to find joy and meaning in the midst of change. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he
shares his message that we can make our life an exciting journey of discovery. He publishes the inspirational ezine, Letters on Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in the fall of 2009. http://www.inspirepossibility.com. 415.453.5016

TAKE THE TIME FOR THE INWARD JOURNEY

Tuesday, March 3rd, 2009

Perhaps more than anything, we would like to be free from our negative thinking. Those thoughts color every experience that we have and everything that we do. That’s the way it was for lets call her Melissa when we spoke yesterday in our life coaching session.

Melissa who has a litany of reasons and stories as to why she isn’t happy, isn’t much different from many whom I come in contact with. Her story why she isn’t happy is very believable and she is very convincing. At least she has convinced herself that her reasons are justified. It’s tempting not to be convinced of her logic. Her thinking the way that she does is a regular habit that she has become accustomed to. She has, like many of us, had years of practice in thinking this way. When she projects into the future she doesn’t see a way out.

That’s the challenge for Melissa and many others like her. How can one find joy and meaning in this changing world? It’s changing in the sense that there’s very little that we can count on. Our institutions such as government, religion, education and health care that at one time we were able to count on, have failed us. We don’t know where to turn. We are searching for new answers.

Those answers are inside of us. The lasting freedom that we are seeking is an inward journey. It’s not going to be obtained by accomplishments in the material world. Yes those accomplishments might give us a temporary high. but then it’s off to the next new thing.

We are looking in the wrong places for a quick answer to our suffering. The journey of awakening takes times and patience. It’s a matter of being still. I remember in Paulo Coelho’s, Alchemist, the protagonist searches the world for lost treasure. When he becomes an old man, he learns that the treasure was buried in the backyard of the house he grew up in.

Take the time to look inward. Make the choice. Choose happiness. Smile…and laugh a little bit more than yesterday.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to find joy and meaning in the midst of change. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he
shares his message that we can make our life an exciting journey of discovery. He publishes the inspirational ezine, Letters on Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in the fall of 2009. http://www.inspirepossibility.com. 415.453.5016

THERE ARE NO DELETE BUTTONS IN LIFE

Monday, March 2nd, 2009

We all want to find more joy and meaning in the midst of change. We have to learn to let of go of what might have been.There are no delete buttons or replays in life, but you can wonder. You can wonder, “What if? You can wonder what it would be like if you didn’t make the decision that you did?” I can think of numerous decisions that I made that altered the direction of my life.

It might have been saying yes to an invitation or saying no to an offer that looked too good to be true. When I said yes to my friend Kent’s invitation to visit him in Loveland, Colorado, it led to my meeting my wife Annie. Since that moment my life has been remarkably different. I could have easily said no and stayed in California. And then it was saying yes to a career change…from being a trial lawyer to a life coach. I gave the security of a successful career to seek a new path. Yes I miss the great lifestyle it offered me and often think about it. But I’ve become the person I’ve always wanted to be and it keeps getting better everyday.

That’s all anyone can ask for…that it keeps getting better everyday and more fulfilling. Life becomes an exciting journey of discovery. I have often written about how you start your day sets the tone for the day. Asking empowering questions is a big part of that. As I begin my day, I wonder about what the highlight might be.

By asking the question in this way, there will always be a highlight. As I’m writing this entry, I am wondering what the highlight might be during the rest of my day. I know something good will happen. I just have to be open to seeing it when it occurs.

In every minute in everyday we make a choice. Choose happiness.

But in the meantime….smile…and laugh a little bit more than yesterday and

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to find joy and meaning in the midst of change. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he
shares his message that we can make our life an exciting journey of discovery. He publishes the inspirational ezine, Letters on Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in the fall of 2009. http://www.inspirepossibility.com. 415.453.5016

ALLOW YOURSELF TO EXPERIENCE THE GOOD

Friday, February 27th, 2009

When Les came in for a life coaching session yesterday, he was frustrated which surprised me. 2008 was a fairly challenging year for him. Because of the challenges Les reached a new level in his self-confidence. He had a health challenge that he overcame and was swept up in the stresses from the economic turmoil. As the year came to a close, not only had Les recovered from his health challenge, he was prospering in his business.

He was extremely optimistic for 2009. In many ways, Les was experiencing more good than he had experienced before. He was experiencing more financial success than he ever had, was in a better relationship than he had ever been in before, and proved to himself that he was resilient.

But he had a breakdown. The place he was living in had many problems and the landlord was slow in addressing them. I couldn’t believe how frustrated he was. He seemed to have forgotten all that he had accomplished in the year before which were significant.

Why was that? Les was now experiencing the land of abundance and well-being which was new territory for him and frightening. In some ways he was about to sabotage himself. So he had a collision while backing his vehicle into his driveway which contributed to his frustration. It set him back several thousand dollars. He was about to embark on a wrong strategy to make himself miserable.

Les wasn’t used to things going good in his life. He didn’t know how to handle it, so he created new things to get upset about and he was doing a good job at that.

As Les left the session, he had a new perspective and awareness of what he was doing. He realized that what he was getting upset about was small potatoes in the scope of things. If you have been reading this blog for a while, you know that Les’s VOJ or gremlin was rearing its head.

I’m sure you can relate to some of Les’s challenges. To a certain degree we all can.

There’s no better time than now to choose happiness. Allow yourself to experience the good in your life. Smile and laugh a little bit more than yesterday and JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to find joy and meaning in the midst of change. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he
shares his message that we can make our life an exciting journey of discovery. He publishes the inspirational ezine, Letters on Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in the fall of 2009. http://www.inspirepossibility.com. 415.453.5016

A reminder to remember

Monday, February 23rd, 2009

I saw an old friend yesterday, lets call him Carl, at Unity. Calling him an old friend doesn’t accurately describe our relationship. I’ve known him for over twenty five years. He really wasn’t someone who played a big part in my life–just one of those many people that you run into every three or four years and when you do, you talk at a certain level. Somewhat superficial— it never really flows…at least that was my experience until yesterday.

Was it me or was it him…or perhaps a combination of the two? What started out as a polite hello, ended up with a full-on connection. An hour later we said our good-bye and I am sure we both left with that feeling that you have when you have touched another’ soul. You want more and at the same time you feel complete. Yet I had the feeling that we would be more involved in each other’s life. We’ll see.

In the meeting, Carl reminded of a conversation that we had over 20 years ago that made a profound difference in his life. I had shared with him a workshop that I had just completed. Carl was inspired to eventually take the workshop. Although it took him a while, it totally changed his life and he was grateful for my willingness to share my experience with him.

I was touched knowing that I made a difference in his life. And had I not ran into Carl that morning, I would have never known about my gift or remembered our meeting. I wonder how many other profound meetings that I have forgotten about. So think about. How often do you hold back, rather than share what’s on your mind? It’s that smile or gesture or kindness that can make all of the difference in someone’s life.

It’s “you being you” that makes a difference in the world. Don’t let someone dissuade you from expressing who you are. Smile and laugh a little bit more than yesterday and

Journey ON

Mark

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to find joy and meaning in the midst of change. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he
shares his message that we can make our life an exciting journey of discovery. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with other experts Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. He publishes the inspirational ezine, Letters on Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in the fall of 2009. http://www.inspirepossibility.com. 415.453.5016

ENJOY WHAT IS

Tuesday, February 17th, 2009

It’s been an interesting winter. For most of it, we have been concerned that there will be water rationing as it’s the third straight year with less than normal rainfall. And in the last few days, we’ve had a major storm. Now the focus has shifted from drought to possible floods. A few years ago we had major floods when the town was four feet under water. We’re always wondering about the tides. When it’s a low tide the water backs up and overflows the banks of the creek.

So isn’t that the way our lives are quite often. We worry needlessly rather than flow with what is. We can’t control the weather patterns or the tides. It’s our work to enjoy what is. I know that the creeks will be flowing today. And there are a few waterfalls that will be raging. It’s quite exciting. And that is the way it is. If you like the rustic quality of living on a creek there is always the danger that it will overflow. If that concerns you then you choose a different place to live. But what attracts me is the charm that makes me feel whole and the mountain that is lush with picturesque beauty and wildlife.

It’s our choice. Each moment we have the choice to choose happiness. Smile and laugh a little bit more than yesterday.

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational way. http://www.inspirepossibility.com

IT’S ALL UNFOLDING IN PERFECT ORDER

Thursday, February 12th, 2009

Have you ever said, “I’m wasting my time?” Maybe at least once? What does that really mean? And can we really waste time? Don’t we really learn from everything?

Perhaps when comparing the past to what we know now, we might think that we could have avoided some of the steps we took and some of the wrong turns. It might have been a bad relationship or a mistake in trusting a friend. It might have been selecting the “wrong” major in college or a dead-end job.

There have been times in my life when I was very productive and other times when nothing seemed to get done. Both were necessary for my growth and evolution.

I don’t think we can waste time. To think that assumes that we know are ultimate destiny. Just about everything that I have done or experienced when looking back at it, comes together like an invisible web. But it’s only looking back with hindsight that the web begins to become visible.

Trust that it’s all unfolding as it should. Everyone you meet and every experience that you have is all grist for the mill. You learn from it and it contributes to who you are today–even the so-called negative things.

We keep repeating the lessons of the past until we learn them and then we are ready to move on. It took many relationships to become clear as to what I wanted in a soul-mate. With each one, I learned more about myself. That’s the purpose of our life’s experiences. With each one we learn more about ourselves and what is important to us.

It’s a lifelong journey of discovery. Enjoy the journey. Happiness is a choice that you make each moment. And remember to smile and laugh a little bit more than yesterday.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational way. http://www.inspirepossibility.com