KEEP YOUR WORD: Today I MADE myself go to the gym…What good is a gym if you don’t go? It felt good. I didn’t give into my saying to myself, “That’s good enough, I went there a few days ago.” Lately that self talk has been limiting and preventing me from taking the next step. Now I am motivated to change my workout frequency. I do mountain bike and I do get exercise that way….but I know I need to do that ab work. The ab work that most of us hate. And we hate noticing that’s what we need to do. And the abs are the only thing.

I have always said that one’s personal power is directly related to their ability to keep their agreements to themselves. As you become impeccable with your word to yourself your ability to achieve a level of mastery over your thoughts is achieved.

The theory being that you will become capable of shifting your thoughts from dwelling on the negative to the positive. Yes the preparation for this starts with saying, “Yes” to the gym” and doing that abwork. It starts with following through which becomes a positive pattern when you consistently keep your word. The hope is that with time and commitment you develop the ability to keep transcending what is possible in your life.

When is saying “no” stopping you? What is it preventing you from experiencing and accomplishing?

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

I was having breakfast with an old friend this morning. We’ve been friends for many years and have seen each other evolve through many stages in our lives. He knew me when I was single and a trial lawyer. He was with me when I made the decision to transition from being a trial lawyer to becoming a life coach.

It’s been nine years since I left the law practice. In the eight years that I have been a life coach I have worked with over a thousand people in different ways. Many were stuck in their lives or were looking to answer a particular challenge. Many who I work with are very successful. If you met them, you would think that they didn’t have a problem in the world. They seemed self-confident and reassured and charismatic.

What I have found is that no matter how self-assured and self-confident one might seem when you meet them, on the inner level they experience the same doubts and insecurities that you do which is usually a version of, “Am I good enough?”

In our work together, we change that mindset so that the unknown rather than scare you, excites you. And you stop worrying about what people might think of you.

In fact, I think that all worry is based upon a false belief about what we think might happen in the future. And we know that the future is unknown. We have a choice that we make over and over again about how we hold this future.

I know what my choice is. Even if it doesn’t work out the way I hoped, it’s never as bad as I thought. Whatever happens I have more tools to work with. And I’m not as stressed, out so that when things go my way, I can enjoy the moment. I have learned to make friends with the unknown. That our work…having faith that it’s all unfolding for our greater good.

Mark Susnow’s life has been an unfolding journey of discovery. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

I have noticed for a month now that I need very little sleep. By 5AM it’s light and stays light until almost 9:30. So I’m more active and more physical and I don’t have any desire for caffeine. I’m feeling the natural flow of life and of course in the winter when the days are much shorter we stay home more and sleep more. We more reflective. I remember last winter I felt so sluggish I thought that there was something wrong with me.

It’s learning to be in the natural flow of life. It’s flowing with the changes of the seasons. When we are in tune with nature, our whole being is affected.

Today is the summer solstice, the longest day of the year, and Fathers day. It’s a day to celebrate, to rejoice and to think about our intentions for our life. There is tremendous manifestation power on this day.

What is your heart’s desire? Hold that in your heart and mind as you enjoy this day.

Happy Solstice….happy Father’s day.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow’s life has been an unfolding journey of discovery. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

I ran into, let’s call him Peter, at the coffee shop this morning. Peter is not a close friend or life coaching client, but an acquaintance and reader of my newsletter, Letters on Life. He let me know that he was beginning therapy for an underlying anxiety disorder that he has experienced since childhood.

This condition manifests physically as an increased heart rate. Peter is a great intellect and has a powerful mind. He has an answer for everything and most things he can figure out. So he figured that therapy is the answer. It will be to a certain degree.

One thing that Peter has not explored is a more holistic approach to look at what can he do to transcend this tendency to be anxious.

I didn’t try to dissuade Peter from therapy, but I suggested that he also meditate. Thru daily meditation, he could start to develop a stillness that transcends thought. That’s what meditation does. It’s not concerned with why you feel a certain way, or what caused you to get this way.

It takes you to that place beyond thought where the mind is still; where you are able to let go and let it be.

I don’t know if Peter will actually meditate. But I do know that the people who I work with in my life coaching practice who meditate regularly have an inner confidence that they didn’t experience prior to meditating. But you have to sit down and do it. You’ll have excuses why you aren’t doing it; but it’s going beyond your resistance where the real opportunity for transformation occurs.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow’s life has been an unfolding journey of discovery. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

Whether as a life coach or when speaking to groups, I am often asked whether we can create more presence in our life. We certainly can. Since charisma and presence is a form of energy, the question is how do you go about creating energy– And then there’s the question of what type of energy.

If you look at charisma or presence as magnetism then charisma can be used in a good or bad way depending on the intention of the person…There are some people that are just plain charismatic no matter what they do…But let’s talk about what we can do to create it in our lives…To me charisma is a matter of creating more presence. So how do you do that?

1.Increase your energy by exercising and breathing fully….
2.Have a discipline like meditation, yoga or Tai Chi that creates prana or chi.
3.Be aware of the phrasing and cadence of your words.
4.Eat lots of fruits and vegetables in that they contain a lot of water which is what our body needs.
5.Be aware of your environment.
6.Notice how you move or dance.
7.Be a little unpredictable.
8.Find something that you are passionate about…that will transfer to other areas of your life.
9.Develop a connection with a higher power.
10. Become impeccable-keep your agreements not only to other people, but to yourself. Most of us are pretty good when it comes to keeping agreements with other people. The challenge is to to keep them with ourselves….to eat healthier, to exercise, to practice self-care.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Throughout his life, Mark has always made a practice of taking a leap of faith whenever he heard the call for something more. His life has been an unfolding journey of discovery. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

In the last blog we talked about developing a self-care program. I also asked you to think about what it means to be impeccable.

Lets start with being disciplined, which in my mind, is the key to beginning a self-care program. Developing discipline is a necessary step on the road to impeccability. Many years ago, while in law school, I attended a lecture given by a nurse on the benefits of fasting. I was inspired. For over thirty years I have cleansed at least twice a year for at least 5-8 days at a stretch. It’s been quite an experience and I always look forward to it. I always feel better for the experience.

But to make it happen requires a great deal of self-discipline. It’s saying no to your habits. It’s saying no to what you unconsciously put into your body. It’s becoming more conscious. It’s allowing yourself to experience life in a new way. Over time, it’s no longer a matter of discipline, but a matter of choice.

You feel so good that you don’t want to go backwards. You keep going. And that’s the way it has been for me with meditation. With regular practice, I feel much better than when I don’t meditate. It becomes a way of life. I couldn’t imagine my life without it. All of self-care is that way. First make a conscious choice as to what you want to integrate into your life. And commit for 30 days. Then reevaluate. See what happens. It looks like I didn’t get to impeccability. Oh well. I’ll do it in the next blog.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Throughout his life, Mark has always made a practice of taking a leap of faith whenever he heard the call for something more. His life has been an unfolding journey of discovery. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

We all have a unique way of communicating our story, a way that reflects our life experiences. The photographer uses a camera, the artist a brush, and the musician a melody or rhythm. As the years go by there is more to tell as we experience more of life. As we keep evolving we look through a different filter, paint with a different color, sing a different song or feel a different rhythm.
When you have children, June is the time for graduations. It was six years ago that my son, Josh, graduated from high school and then a few years later my daughter, Makaela, graduated. This year it is my youngest, Savanna’s turn. Graduations are symbolic of the transitions in life. In some ways we are always transitioning from one phase to another, each with its challenges and opportunities.
I think back as I eagerly await the graduation ritual. There’s always a field in the midst of a picturesque setting with mountains in the background. And then it begins. I look toward the stage. I listen with one ear to what the various speakers have to say while my mind races in overdrive. I think about how rapidly my children have changed and how I have had to let go of some of my expectations in order to stay connected to them. There’s more work to do. It was at Josh’s graduation that this message hit home. During the principle’s talk to the students and their families, she made reference to Spencer Johnson’s classic parable about change, “Who Moved My Cheese.”
It is a paradox of life that while our children change rapidly, we as adults try to put the brakes on the speed of change. We like to think to some degree we are in control of our life by holding on to what we’re used too.

“No,” Hem quickly responded. “I like it here. It’s comfortable. It’s what I know. Besides it’s dangerous out there.”
Johnson, Spencer “Who Moved My Cheese?”

Just like Hem, we have artfully crafted a comfort zone, although familiar, keeps us boxed in. That’s the way it was for me. During many periods of my life, I became attached to the way things were, resisting the changes that were necessary for me to grow. It could be a career or a relationship. I finally took that Leap of Faith and left the comfort of my law practice, ten years ago, to begin the journey that I am on now.
By making this change, I have created the breathing room that has allowed me to grow into the person I am today. Although this path has been unpredictable at times, I have learned how to navigate life’s changes. In the process of becoming an expanded person, we develop a deeper sense of who were are and a deeper sense of self. Some of these changes we intentionally create, such as my career change, while others just happen. Change is a constant process. What is challenging for some of us to accept, is that as our bodies change (just take a look at some of your old pictures) your physiology and chemistry also changes. By the time you’ve reached the wisdom years, you’ve been through many cycles. Even though these changes were not necessarily what you were expecting you have learned how to navigate these deeper waters. Although I’ve felt my share of fear and pain during some of these transitions, I’ve learned how to let go and trust that I will land on my feet. And I usually do. The letting go offers me a new experience of life…in which I experience all it, the pains, the sorrows, and the joys that gives me a newfound vitality and excitement. A life in which everyday is new, although not necessarily fun. I know I’m alive and have a deeper sense of myself. I smile and laugh again.
Perhaps Anais Nin says it best. “Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it.”
I recognize that there is a natural rhythm of life, much like the rhythm of the seasons that is constantly changing. At times we experience a stillness and at other times a quickening. There are moments when your heart feels full and then at other times you feel contracted. And then there are those moments when for no reason at all, you experience a deep sense of joy and fulfillment. Of course the other side of that is also true, when for no apparent reason, you feel a profound sadness.
When you flow with this natural rhythm and encompass it all, rather than trying to resist the aspects that you don’t want to experience, you experience an effortless quality in your life. You instinctively know what to do and life just seems to work. Life is easy…more fun…more meaningful…and less of a struggle. You are excited about getting up in the morning and feel like you have a purpose.
You probably want to know what you can do, so that you can flow with this natural rhythm. Honor the transitions. They are the catalyst for you to be with yourself Be grateful for them. Know that when you are feeling pain, that like the wind, even though it still hurts, it won’t last forever. When the winds change, and they always do, the clouds of despair lift and you experience a deeper sense of joy and meaning in the midst of this change. It could happen in a heartbeat.
Look forward to this change as opportunity, as adventure, as possibility. Accept and love those feelings and qualities about yourself that you so often try to avoid. As you look inward and take time for reflection through meditation and prayer you experience a deeper sense of inner peace. As you become more accepting of the fully integrated you, you become more accepting of your humanity. It is the acceptance of your humanity that you know we are all connected.
Let me know what is changing in your life. I love receiving your many responses and feedback. Thank you and keep them coming. Feel free to pass this letter on to the friends in your circle and let them know about the advantages of being on the journey.

Journey On

Mark

Throughout his life, Mark has always made a practice of taking a leap of faith whenever he heard the call for something more. His life has been an unfolding journey of discovery. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

Have you heard the expression “if you don’t use it you lose it”..I have felt that on many occasions especially when I haven’t been doing one of my practices. It’s that feeling when you exercise for the first time in a month. You know you need to do it but it’s not fun. That’s the way learning new things is. At first it’s awkward and difficult. But gradually it starts to feel better. You’re glad you’re having a new conversation. Relationships are much the same way. There is always room for a new conversation and an opportunity to learn something new about yourself.

How satisfied are you with the quality of your relationships? What can you do to make them better? When’s the last time you have made a new friend? Real communication is an art form that is alway expanding and always full of new possibilities.

Here is a focus for the next week. Think about a person with whom you would want to transform the quality of your communication. What would have to shift? What would you have to do to make it happen? What’s in the way of you doing what you have to do? And yes it usually starts with you. You have to make the first step. Be willing to put yourself out there. Perhaps make that phone call you have been putting off. Or send an email you have been delaying.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Throughout his life, Mark has always made a practice of taking a leap of faith whenever he heard the call for something more. His life has been an unfolding journey of discovery. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

The greater macro consciousness is going to effect all of us to some degree. i sense that there is more optimism out there than just a few months ago. People are feeling that the worst is over. But in the process of change on more of a global level, we lose sight of what gives us happiness. Happiness is a choice that one makes over and over again. And making that choice is an expression of personal freedom.

I have often thought about the nature of personal freedom. Although there are many definitions and explanations of what personal freedom means what resonates the loudest is that personal freedom is freedom from negative thinking. It’s a worthy challenge that we all have been working on to varying degrees of success. If you are questioning how you are doing, ask yourself how much you worry.

Intellectually we know that we have a choice as to how we see our lives. We know that it’s not the event or circumstance that causes us pain but the meaning we give that event. And as I said all of us are affected to some degree by events and circumstances unless we are isolated in some cave and shut off from the world. The good news is that by cultivating a shift in consciousness we can transform how we feel and think about life.

Let me share with you what I mean. Since we can’t determine what is in the news, our only choice is to change our perspective as to how we view these events. With all of the news about banks failing or about to fail, let me introduce you to a different type of bank-it’s an inner bank that I call the B.A.N.K of Well-Being. It’s our internal barometer as to how we are feeling about “life.” When our account has a nice surplus we are optimistic and believe that we can handle most challenges. Our job is to be mindful of how easily our account can fluctuate.

Your account easily gets drained when there is a run of negative news and you focus on what might go wrong. No matter what’s going on in your life, there is always going to be something that can negatively affect you. Just think about how easily you get plugged in when you read the paper or watch the news. Yet wanting to tune into the news, whether it’s the paper, TV or the Internet, can become an addiction.

There are many situations that have the potential to drain your account. It might be a toxic relationship or work situation. No matter what you do, the stresses of everyday living have the potential to drain your account. No matter how careful and strategic you are, you can’t be perfect. Trying to be perfect further drains your account. When stress drains you, you don’t have the energy or fortitude to handle the normal circumstances of your life. You overreact and aren’t able to see the big picture. In essence your personal, spiritual and emotional accounts have gotten drained.

You need to replenish your account by depositing good energy in the form of positive thoughts, healthy food, exercise, a spiritual discipline, inspiration, and supportive friends. Meditation and communing in nature have always had a healing affect on my being. My attitude about life dramatically changed once I began meditating many years ago. Everyday in some way I am making a deposit. I know that you have your own way of replenishing your account.
The BANK (Beyond Negative Thinking) of Well Being is a reminder to me that I have a choice. It’s a choice about being conscious that I make over and over again.

Becoming conscious is not only a choice about how you want to live your life, but it’s also a choice about being that person who actually lives that life. It’s a choice about which voice you choose to listen to; the voice of judgment sometimes referred as your “gremlin” or the voice of inspiration, which becomes your “guiding light.”

To help you make a quantum shift from becoming that person to being that person, think about what you can do to replenish your account? Imagine being that person whose account is brimming over.

We all have many good intentions that never get acted upon. They remain in our mind as another good idea. There is no better time than now to change that. What is one action that you are willing to take now? Who is going to hold you accountable to take that action?

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Throughout his life, Mark has always made a practice of taking a leap of faith whenever he heard the call for something more. His life has been an unfolding journey of discovery. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

Many years ago, I had one of those experiences that you never forget. It shows up in so many areas of my life. In my previous life, I was a trial lawyer for 30 years and have been a musician since I was seven. Most people would say I am very comfortable in front of people. But even now, whenever I’m in front of people, there is an inner conversation going on that I do not want to have. It is always a variation of “can I do it” or “will it be good enough.”

This experience occurred when I participated in a weekend workshop designed to increase one’s ability to give better presentations sponsored by the Actors Institute. The participants included actors, musicians, comedians, lawyers and politicians.

After a long weekend of exercises designed to “stretch” us we were required to give our presentation. We then critiqued our own and each other’s performance. Without exception, our critique of our own presentation was much harsher than the groups. The instructor commented that if we had to hire ourselves we would never get a job!

We are so hard on ourselves. The truth is, in the process of trying to be perfect, we often focus on our imperfections and sometimes that is all we see. Because of this fear of being imperfect, we procrastinate and agonize over seemingly easy tasks. My wife Annie reminded me of a story that illustrates this point.

The master lived quite a distance from the stream. Every day his servant, the water bearer, would walk from his master’s house to the stream with two large pots, each hung on opposite ends of a pole which he carried across his neck. One pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the walk, while the other pot had a crack in it and arrived only half full.

This went on for a full two years and the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, but the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its imperfections and of the fact that it was only able to accomplish half of what it had been made to do.

Finally the cracked pot summoned up enough courage to have its own conversation with the water bearer. It went something like this. “I am ashamed and I want to apologize to you for I have let you down. Because of my flaws you have had to do twice as much work.” But the water bearer would have nothing of this conversation. “Did you notice the beautiful wild flowers along the path and did you notice that these beautiful flowers were only on your side of the path?” That’s because I have always known of your flaws and I took advantage of them and planted flower seeds on your side of the path and every day you watered them. And these beautiful flowers that you have watered everyday grace the master’s table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house.”

Each of us has our own unique flaws and in our own way we are all cracked pots. With all our imperfections we still create beauty and good in the world. Perhaps what real courage is all about is not letting our fears and imperfections stop us. Instead of procrastinating we confidently take the next step.

You might want to take some time to journal or just sit as you reflect upon the following inquiry. Imagine experiencing your imperfections in a different way– as gifts or unique opportunities. Identify an imperfection in your life that gets more attention than it deserves and discover what gift is hidden in that imperfection. From this new vantage point imagine what could be possible?

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Throughout his life, Mark has always made a practice of taking a leap of faith whenever he heard the call for something more. His life has been an unfolding journey of discovery. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016