When I talked with Sally in our life coaching session this morning we continued to focus on personal and professional development. Sally took over a professional practice over three years ago. She had concerns whether she could pay all of her bills and expenses. She has done more than that. She now has a successful practice and continues to get new clients.

Yet she doesn’t think of herself as a successful professional because she still has doubts and insecurities. I let Sally know that I have coached some professionals who were at the top of their game and they also had doubts and insecurities.

In a metaphorical sense, Sally graduated. With any profession, there are increased duties and responsibilities. With that comes rights and priviliges. I suggested to Sally that it was her time to accept the new found abundance in her life and to be grateful for her success.

As a spiritual practice and discipline I suggested that she express gratitude for the success in her life. I am encouraged by her willingness to take this on. I know that will give her a new sense of grace and dignity. It will also give her a confidence that whatever comes up she will be able to navigate life’s changes.

Like many of us, Sally is the first to criticize herself. We wouldn’t talk to a friend the way we talk to ourselves. We’re so hard on ourselves. I encouraged her to talk to herself in a more positive way. She asked me, “Do you mean a mental HIGH-5? I said exactly. So give yourself a mental high-5. Tell yourself how proud you are of what you are doing in your life and how you are handling things.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

If that is the case and I think it is, our focus should be on developing attitudes we can integrate into our belief systems that help us develop an attitude that it’s all going to be ok. Almost everyone that I have worked with as their life coach has suffered needlessly because of their fear that it’s all going to fall apart. Charles Swindell wrote many years ago that it isn’t the fact or circumstances that determine how we feel about our lives, but it is our attitudes.

You’re probably wondering…”yes that’s great, but how do I change my attitude.” I want to let you know that you can change your attitude but it takes work and is a process that keeps evolving.

It begins with your making a fundamental shift as to how you start your day. If you start the day in a hurry and feel anxious, you’ll be anxious all day long.

This is the approach that I encourage others to adopt. Take time to meditate before leaving your house or turning on your computer. Then focus on what you are grateful for. You are more abundant than you realize. You have many inner resources that you take for granted; to give you a few ideas…think about your intelligence, your ability to connect with others including animals and nature…your humor and resilience. If you make this a habit, you’ll be surprised how many inner resources that you do have.

Then take time to be curious about the highlight of your day. Look for the good in every person you meet. As your day progresses, you’re more excited about each new person you meet. It might be at the coffee shop, the bank or at the gas station. There is a light in each of us, but if our eyes are closed we won’t see it. It’s amazing how people respond when you take the time to smile.

Being curious is an antidote to being judgmental. When something happens, rather than judging it as good or bad, or positive or negative, be curious as to how it’s all going to unfold.

By being curious, you won’t be so caught up in giving every event in your life more significance than it deserves.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It’s a time to come together, to reach out and to be with others. It’s a time to think about what we’re grateful for. And when we do, we experience the present moment. Think about what we had to do to get here. Some of us traveled many miles and toiled many hours preparing food. Others warmed our houses and created an inviting space for others to come together.

So when we give thanks for our life we no longer think about the future-or have regrets about the past. It’s a day when we live in the present-with its perfection. Giving thanks really is an acknowledgement of the present moment.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

I have noticed that with some people that I work with as their life coach, their changes are dramatic. They’re not the same person they were when we began our work together.

They have more self-confidence and are excited about the future, but in the back of their mind, they remember that in the past when things started to go well, they sabotaged themselves. Things fell apart and they are now waiting for that to happen again.

It doesn’t have to happen. Once you go through the gate to a new way of thinking, you’ll never go back. That’s what happens when you are on a spiritual path…you are awake and aware of things that previously you were not conscious of.

You can’t go backwards. It’s too late, which is a good thing. I remember when I first began walking on the path of awakening there were times when I wish things were not so clear. I couldn’t deceive myself. I had to take responsibility for my life and could no longer blame others or circumstances, like my parents or what happened as a child.

I remember some people would say, “Ignorance is Bliss.” Once you know the truth you realize that “Ignorance is just Ignorance.” There’s no reason to try to glorify it.

The good news is that as you go forward from here, you’ll have more choices and possibilities to live a more fulfilling and successful life. You won’t go backwards even if you wanted to. On some level you are forever changed.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

We all get caught up in our day to day lives….our business, family and relationships and other activities. Trying to get away seems almost impossible although we would like to do it. Our thinking becomes predictable and our options limited.

That’s the way it was for me most of this year. Usually our family would spend the summers on Kauai, but with our kids leaving the nest and going back and forth to college we weren’t sure what we wanted to do, so we stayed home this summer. Once they left we wanted to get away but couldn’t figure out when. There didn’t seem like an ideal window of time. In the past I would plan months ahead and work around my vacation.

Finally I made the decision to go although for a shorter period of time. Almost upon landing on the island I felt different. And then when I took a swim in Hanalei Bay I was transported to a different world.

And to think I almost didn’t go this year. Change your perspective by changing your scenery. But unless you make it part of your life, it’s too easy to let it go by. Be bold. In the next few days, schedule your next trip.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

Today I was working on the forgiveness chapter of my soon to be published book, Dancing on the River.

When someone betrays us or disappoints us we react by being angry. We feel justified and self righteous in feeling this way. What we don’t realize is that at some point we have to let it go. We are not hurting the other person by being mad at them. In fact we might not have even seen them for years and yet we carry around our anger toward them. They might not even know we are angry.

So who are really hurting? Of course it’s ourself. Being angry puts us in a bad mood and it’s difficult to enjoy life. It’s a common misconception that if we forgive someone that we are letting them off the hook. That’s the farthest thing from the truth. It’s really a gift to ourselves. We let go of the past and embrace the present unburdened by the old hurts that we carry around with us.

By forgiving we are not condoning the act either. It’s in the past. It’s time to move on.

Take a moment to reflect upon this inquiry. Who is it in your life that you have not forgiven?

So you want to forgive, but how do you do it? It’s a choice that you make day by day, minute by minute. With each choice you let go more than you did before and go as far as you can.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

Yesterday I wrote that changing the questions you ask yourself, changes how you experience life. Rather than thinking, What Now, you think How can you Serve.

As you start your day I would suggest that you ask yourself one more thing. Use your curiosity to create a great day. Here’s how you do it. Ask yourself what the highlight of your day is going to be. I ask in this way. “I wonder what the highlight is going to be.” I don’t know. I’m curious. As I am writing this, I’m looking at what the rest of my day looks like. As I experience the day I’m curious if this is the moment.

As a life coach I have found that most people make it way too complicated. They go through their day experiencing the same thing they did the day before. They are on automatic pilot and at the end of the day they are tired and drained.

It’s the appreciation of the little things that makes your life extraordinary. The highlights are usually little things that you take for granted. There’s that smile that someone gives you. There’s that listening to what the other person has to say. There’s seeing a beautiful cloud formation or someone playing in the park. Or savoring the flavor of a food that you particularly like….or noticing how beautiful a flower is and what it smells like.

We go through our day overlooking these finer points. But this is what makes the difference in how we experience our lives. Before you know it you have an attitude of gratitude.

And here’s what is really cool…it doesn’t take any more time to notice the little things.It just takes more attention.

JOURNEY ON

MARK
Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

In a life coaching session this morning with let’s call her Sally, a professional and mother, we discussed her tendency to react negatively when clients called her. Sally isn’t the only one. Many clients I work with often have a feeling of dread that comes and go more than they like. When that phone rings they think to themselves, “What now?”

Sally and other clients and I am sure many of you reading this blog tend to overreact to everyday events. It’s like we are waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I reminded Sally that she is in a service profession. Service professionals are there to serve others. However with the demands of running it as a business, they forget why they are in the business in the first place. They want to make a difference.

I suggested to Sally that whenever she gets a phone call during the day that she ask herself, “How can I serve this client?” And to be grateful for the call. Without that call and the call from others she wouldn’t be able to stay in business.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

It works. It’s easy to find an hour to do anything. What this means is that you can complete major projects without altering your schedule. Just knowing this gets rid of a lot of stress. First estimate how long you think the particular project will take. Let’s say five hours. Then schedule it into your appointment book. Then it’s a matter of honoring what’s in your appointment book. It seems that when we write something down it has more significance…It makes it more real.

Here’s another way to look at it. Think about all the things you are “good at” or perhaps were “good at”. All of them required practice and commitment. Big projects are nothing more than a bunch of little ones. A movie is really hundreds of stills moving at an accelerated pace.

Part of living in this day and age is to slow down the pace. So the movie of your life is nothing more than just a series of moments. And as you become more focused on these moments rather than the future you’ll be less stressed out. You’ll enjoy what you’re doing more and less concerned what will happen down the road.

So slow it down and enjoy the moment. The one hour formula is a good start. As you are consistent with this practice your life will be dramatically different.
JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

It has become increasingly clear to me that the way to transform your mundane everyday life into a playground of fun and opportunity is to change the way you are throughout the day. The fact that I am and thousands of others are blogging and thousands are reading our blogs speaks to the fact that just about everyone is tied to their computer speaks for itself. How many times a day do you check your email? I notice with my business that people contact me via email rather than using the phone. I find myself doing this also.

What happened to the old fashioned way of greeting each other when we smiled and asked each other how we were? It is true that often this was also mechanical but it’s time to reverse the trend and take time again for each other. Too many of us have lost the ability to engage in a warm conversation. Too many of us couldn’t connect with others even if our lives depended on it. We don’t make the effort. Real communication is an art and process.

Let’s make a start. I have an idea and a challenge. For the next week your job is to get one person a day to smile. If that is too easy then step it up to two and then perhaps three. Let me know how you do. Also 25 smiles per day on your part goes a long way. Think of all the facial muscles you’ll activate. And the neurons connecting the muscles to the brain release those good endorphins.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016