In a life coaching session yesterday with our good friend Carl, we discussed Carl’s taking the next step in a book project that he has wanted to complete for the last two years. There is no question in my mind and in his that he can do it but he hasn’t committed. After much give and take, I got Carl to commit to writing an hour a day. And then Carl backed off from the commitment and said that he would try and that he would give it his best shot.

Carl was already creating an excuse not to complete the project. I once read that trying is failing with honor.

When you say you will try, you carry around with you a twenty pound weight which makes life more complicated. It’s an extra burden and loose end that doesn’t have to have uncertainty tied to it.

Instead imagine completing the project. Instead of saying you will try, say you will do it. Just for a second stop reading and say out loud, “I will do it.” That’s it. How did that feel? Once you make that declaration you know that it will be done. That declaration has enormous power behind it.

Not only will you complete the project, you will do it with integrity. Not only will you feel better because the project is completed, you will feel better about yourself.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes. Give yourself the gift of coaching and make an investment in your future.

You are faced with a problem and you’re not sure what to do. At first it seems like you only have two choices, neither of which is satisfactory, so you do nothing. You let it sit for a while hoping that the problem will go away. It does for a period of time, only to come back begging for a solution. Still all you see are the same two possibilities.

Something has to give. The way you have been approaching the problem hasn’t been working. This is your chance to think outside the box and to be creative.

Begin to focus on the desired outcome you would like to see. Of course you might say to yourself, “Don’t be ridiculous that’s out of the question.” Don’t let those thoughts stop you. They have been running your life. Keep focusing on the result you want to achieve——see it, feel it.

Then ask yourself, “For that result to occur, what has to happen.” And then ask, “To make that happen what has to shift and what has to be done differently.”

Whatever you do, don’t keep rehashing what you know won’t work. And stop thinking of all of the reasons you think it can’t be done. Instead think of this challenge as an opportunity for you think in a new way.

JOURNEY ON

MARK
Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and speaker who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes. Give yourself the gift of coaching and make an investment in your future.

Carl, like many of my life coaching clients, is standing on the edge. He is ready to jump into the next thing, into the land of uncertainty and the unknown, but he hesitates. He doesn’t take the leap. He watches thinking about what it would be like if he took that leap of faith. He’ll never know. IF he is honest with himself, he has to admit that there is something missing in his life.

Like many other people his life has plateaued. There is no excitement, no passion. He is just going through the motions waiting for something to happen, although he is not sure what that is.

He hasn’t found a real purpose for his life and for what he is currently doing. Until he does it will be difficult for him to get that passion back. You can’t pretend, although that’s what many of us are doing until we totally commit.

Many of us are close to achieving good things, but still have a ways to go before accomplishing great things.

You have the means and the resources, but it’s up to you to apply it to something bigger than what you are doing now. Keep where you want to go in mind and then let it go.

The good news is that it doesn’t take any longer. What it does take is deeper focus; the ability to be totally present with what you are doing.

When you are focused and in the moment, it’s attractive to others for you are in your power. It’s also when you are committed and passionate about living.

Declare to others and the world what you stand for. The world is waiting for you to be you.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and speaker who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes. Give yourself the gift of coaching and make an investment in your future.

It’s been quite a holiday season. Let’s take a few minutes to reflect on this year and see what we can learn that can help us move forward in 2011.

What were your wins and gains? Any breakthroughs? For me it was publishing Dancing on the River. And I liked how my coaching practice. was developing. But I want you to come up with some for yourself. Take some time for this.

What about disappointments or breakdowns. Looking back on this year what insights and lessons have you learned from them? What have you learned about yourself?

How can what you learned this year, help you achieve your goals for 2011. Take some time to think about your goals. Think about your relationships, your career, your finances and who you want to become. How committed are you to making these goals a reality?

According to the research having goals allows you to move forward in your life much quicker than if you didn’t have them. And when you write them down, the likelihood of achieving them is doubled. Take some time to write down your goals and see what you come up with. Put these goals in a safe place so that a year from now you can see how close you’ve come to achieving them. And in some cases even surpassed them.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of, Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes.

Let’s go back in time, but before we do that take stock of your life now. Are there any things you would like to change? Do you ever say to yourself, “If only this were different?” If you don’t say that you are doing pretty good. You are the exception. It is a common pattern with most everyone I know that there current circumstances gets in the way of their enjoyment of life.

I remember years ago when I was a young lawyer my life was going pretty good but there was that one thing—you know that one thing-the one that you keep obsessing about. It’s blown out of proportion. It could be someone in the workplace who triggers you. It could be a difficult situation at home.

There is always going to be that thing that you believe when resolved will be the end of your problems. It doesn’t work that way. There will always be the next thing…that loose end, the uncertainty. If you keep finding reasons which prevent you from being happy, you’ll never be happy. You’ll always find something.

As I have said many times happiness is a choice. There will always be loose ends and uncertainty. That’s the way life is. Ideally we want things to fit into a nice package with a bow around it. Embrace the loose ends. Be curious as to how it’s going to resolve. Make the inquiry an adventure.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of, Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes.

Wherever you are in life’s evolutionary cycle, you’ll eventually come to the same realization. The outward journey of seeking success and what you might call “happiness” is only temporarily fulfilling. Finding joy and meaning is an inner journey.

On this journey, you’ll discover a new state of being. You’ll know what it means to be Dancing on the River, which is a reflection of a life decision that you make to be happy and to enjoy life in this moment. You’ll discover that your enjoyment and appreciation of life is not dependent on what might happen in the future. It might take a while to come to this realization, but once you do, you’ll have the potential to awaken to a rich inner life that is more fulfilling than you can imagine. I say potential because it doesn’t happen overnight.

It is my hope that by integrating the following six insights and practices into your life this new consciousness will become your natural way of being.

1.How you start your day sets the tone for the day. If you start the day in a hurry it will be extremely difficult to slow down. Most of us rush out of the house in the morning trying to make an appointment or deadline. Underneath the concern that we won’t be able to get it all done is an underlying anxiety that won’t go away. You sometimes wish you had a magic wand that could make things better. Although there is no magic wand, there is a morning practice that can minimize much of that anxiety. After you wake up and before you do anything else, take 10-15 minutes for reflection. Perhaps you already have a meditation practice. If you don’t, just sit still in a quiet place and pay attention to your breath. I have also found that journaling is a great way to center yourself before you rush out into the day.

After meditation begin to focus on what you are grateful for. Perhaps there are only a few things that you can think of in the beginning, but once you make this a daily practice, you realize how blessed you are. By focusing on what you are grateful for, your focus shifts to what’s right in your life, rather than on what’s wrong. It’s an amazing practice, which has the power to transform your life.

2. Develop the practice of Curiosity. I didn’t realize how powerful of a concept this could be until I integrated it into my life. In fact if I write another book it will probably will be about the power of curiosity. Here’s what I suggest to get you going. In the morning, after expressing gratitude, reflect upon your day wondering about what the highlight of your day might be. By being curious as to what that is, you’ll create a positive expectation as the day progresses. No matter what is happening in your life, rather than worrying about the outcome, be curious as to how it is all going to unfold. By being curious, you’re also open to those pleasant surprises—those moments of grace that uplift your spirit. Remember that this is a practice and like most things, the more you practice the better you get at it.

3. Learn how to recognize and know your VOJ. The VOJ is that voice of judgment that drives you nuts. You know it. We all do. You would give anything to silence it even if just for a few minutes. The sooner that you can recognize your VOJ, which in coaching we call your gremlin, the sooner you can become free of its hypnotic spell that can last a lifetime if you don’t do anything about it. But the doing is a different type of doing. It’s just noticing. I have found that giving this voice a name has been effective in breaking the spell that it has over me. I call my VOJ, Ralph. This is a lifelong challenge so don’t be discouraged if you don’t notice anything immediately. The journey is never-ending.

4. Self-Acceptance is the next practice. Let’s be honest with ourselves. There are certain things we can’t change. We can’t change who are parents are. We can’t change our country of origin. We can’t change all of the injustices in the world, although we might try. But we do have the potential to change how we think about ourselves and how we think about the circumstances of our lives. Even though we are our own worst critics at times, our work is to accept those things that we don’t like about ourselves—that dark side often referred to as our “shadow.” You know what I’m talking about so I won’t go into detail. Once you accept those things about yourself that you don’t like or are embarrassed by, you feel lighter and freer. And isn’t that what it’s all about–becoming lighter.

5. Introduce positive self-talk into the conversation. Now that you are more familiar with those voices and patterns that have been running your life, it’s time to listen to a new voice that needs to be nurtured and cultivated. It’s a voice if honored and cultivated can change how you think about yourself. I call this voice your VIP. It’s the voice of Inspiration and Praise that we don’t listen to, or hear enough. That voice has become my inner champion. When I think that I shouldn’t have felt the way I did about something that happened, or that I shouldn’t have acted in a certain way, my VIP sends me a few words of encouragement by saying to me, “You’re doing great. You handled that well.” It takes conscious effort and resolve to cultivate your VIP. As you learn to trust and listen to it, how you feel about your life will begin to shift.

6. Make time for the jollies. So here we are again with another new phrase. No I haven’t lost my mind. All of us have faced challenges that at times seem overwhelming. Even in the midst of these challenges, there are many things that can give us joy. They might be little things that we have forgotten about. Don’t overlook them.

The Jollies is taking the time to do what gives you joy. So when I say make time for the jollies–I mean make time for what gives you joy, even if you still have loose ends in your life and your “to do” list is full. It took me a while to come the realization that there will always be “loose ends” and uncertainty. If you always wait for the perfect time to begin something new, you will never begin. The only perfect time is now.

So there you have it. As my good friend Lois said to me, “The journey might be challenging, but the scenery can be spectacular.” There’s only one thing left to do. Enjoy the journey.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of, Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes.

Most of you who read this blog have been on the path of self-discovery for some time. You think about what’s important and meaningful. You’re curious about what the future might hold for you. Perhaps you worry more than you would like.

If we sat down and talked with each other, we would find that our ideas, beliefs and concerns are quite similar. I just returned from Peru and was privileged to experience the sacred Incan city of Machu Picchu and to learn about its civilization. Let me take you back to that first day. As I boarded the train that would take me through the mountains to the town of Aguas Calientes, which lay at the base of the mountain, I was bursting with excitement. As I got off the train and walked through the markets, I glanced up at the magical little town, with the train going through its center that was the gateway to the lost city. The more vigorous folks could hike the 27 mile Inca trail, at an elevation of 10000 feet, that would take them directly to Machu Picchu.

From Aguas Calientes, we took a bus up to the city and saw it for the first time. I was in awe. Words are inadequate to describe how I felt. Mallku, a local shaman and author of Incan Power Places, shared his knowledge and wisdom about the many wonders of the ancient city. I was struck by was how similar his wisdom was to what I believed. I was reminded that there are many paths to the mountaintop. When you get there you experience an ancient peace within your heart. We all have had glimpses of what that is. As I meditated and played my flute in the many power places on the mountain I experienced that ancient peace. When Mallku related some of the concerns of this ancient civilization, I thought about how some of them were so similar to the ones we have today. For example, how do you create a technology that enables you to have sufficient water during the dry season?

On more than a few occasions, I was reminded that the more you learn, the more you realize how much you don’t know. Every culture has its own legacy and wisdom that we can learn from. It’s also true that each of us has a history and body of knowledge that we can learn from, which becomes our wisdom. It also can become our legacy if we share it with others.

Our wisdom keeps evolving the more that we allow ourselves to experience life, but it’s not that often that we take the time to sit down and just think about what that is. As you continue reading, I invite you to take a few minutes and explore what that is for you. Perhaps it’s in the form of a message to a loved one. This is what I wrote in Dancing on the River.

“I have frequently thought about what I want my children to know about life. This is my message to them and to you:

Things change. You have to prepare yourself so that you can flow with these changes. The average person today has six or seven careers. The divorce rate is high. Friendships change. You might have a falling out, someone might move away, or pass on. And of course there are health challenges along the way. Let us not forget about the physiological changes that occur during the aging process. The currents of the river are constantly changing; they are affected by many unforeseen forces. You can’t live your life being afraid of these changes, because by avoiding them you are not really living.

What worked at one time in your life might not work at another time. Rather than developing career skills, you need to develop life skills that will enable you to thrive in any situation.

Living a successful and fulfilling life is not an accident. Successful people have goals and dreams. They have faith. They know that at the darkest moment there will be a light that illuminates their path. They know that they are not alone and that there is a power greater than they are. When they live from their center they have access to this power.

Life happens. There are some things we can’t control. The meaning we give to what happens is a choice. Saying yes to life and dancing on the river is also a choice. Enjoy the dance.”

The trip also reminded me of the irony in life. Let me take you back once more to the town of Aguas Calientes. When Annie and I first got there, I noticed that our hotel was near the Urubamba River. Some rooms faced the train tracks, while others overlooked the river. I was hoping for the river. When I saw our room for the first time, which overlooked the river, I was excited. There was a magic that I experienced for a few minutes before departing for the ancient city. When we returned in the evening after a day of climbing, the sound of the river soothed my soul .

I looked forward to waking up early and sitting on the balcony while listening to the sound of the river. I did wake up early but not to the sound of the river. Instead it was the sound of a crane moving rocks. When I looked out at the river I saw the crane and a host of workers. I laughed to myself. An hour later we again took the bus up the mountain. I was again reminded of the perfection in life. Life happens. It has it’s own way. We let go. We all are on this journey together. We sometimes forget to laugh at ourselves.

I am excited to announce a book signing at Book Passages on October 9th for my book, Dancing on the River. In the process of writing I have come to discover what it truly means to be truly dancing on the river of life. It is a consciousness that is a reflection of a life decision that you make over and over again to be happy in the moment.

Journey On

Mark

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of, Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes.

I’m doing something a little different in this blog. What do you want people to know about life, long after you are gone? It might be your son or daughter or a friend that you really care about. My message is in the form of a letter.
DEAR LOVED ONES:

I KNOW THAT SOMEWHERE YOU CAN HEAR ME. I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU.

I HAVE A LOT TO TELL YOU. BUT I WANT TO LEAVE YOU WITH ONE THOUGHT THAT YOU SHOULD NEVER FORGET.

YOU CAN BE HAPPY AND FULFILLED, ALTHOUGH IT MIGHT NOT SEEM THAT WAY AT TIMES. KEEP ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW YOU CAN DO THIS. SOMETIMES IT SEEMS EASY AND THEN IT CHANGES. YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT LIFE CHANGES. THINGS DON’T STAY THE SAME. SO YOU HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO BE FLEXIBLE. HAVE A SPIRITUAL PATH, SOMETHING THAT YOU SPEND SOME TIME WITH EVERYDAY. OTHEWISE YOU’LL GET TOO CAUGHT UP IN THE DAY-TO-DAY SUPERFICIALITY OF LIFE.

DON’T FORGET TO LAUGH…EVEN IN THOSE MOMENTS OF PAIN AND SORROW, THERE IS JOY AND LAUGHTER ON THE OTHER SIDE. SO DON’T GIVE UP…KEEP GOING FOR IT AND REMEMBER THERE ARE NO FREE LUNCHES. YOU ARE GOING TO GET YOUR SHARE OF LUMPS. BUT IT’S WHAT YOU DO WITH THEM THAT ULTIMATLEY DETERMINES THE QUALITY OF YOUR LIFE.

HERE’S TO THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

WITH LOVE AND BLESSINGS

JOURNEY ON

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of, Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes.

In a life coaching session with my client, let’s call her Sally, Sally expressed concern that she didn’t have a long term vision of the life she wanted down the road. She didn’t seem to have any goals about the future.

It seemed that her life was consumed with day-to-day survival concerns—making ends meet, maybe a little more than that. But essentially getting through each day was a big challenge.

As we explored this concern during our session, what became clear was that Sally did have some dreams about the future, but dismissed them because they seemed so impractical. Sally is like so many people who I come in contact with. Without dreams for the future, it’s difficult to have hope, which in itself becomes a motivating factor in our daily lives.

Having something to work toward that has meaning gives our everyday work more significance. Sally’s dream was someday to have a house on the beach since she loved so much to spend time there. As we continued to explore, Sally said that having a place that she could share with another couple was also something that she considered.

Sally, who is a financial person, never crunched the numbers to see exactly what was needed because it seemed so far-fetched. Sally’s homework before our next session was to look in the paper or go online and see what was currently available and at what price range in the geographic areas she was considering. She also said that she was open to making this investment with another couple.

Once Sally crunches the numbers, she’ll have a better idea of what is needed to make this happen. Then she can create goals that can help her manifest what was once just a dream. More about goals and dreams in the next blog.

JOURNEY ON

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes.

We live in an increasingly changing world. Navigating life’s changes has become an art form. We don’t know where to turn. What seemed to work at one time, no longer works. So when I received the invitation I was excited. It was a long time coming. My good friend and fellow blogger,Warren Strudwick, http://the peacemeal project.wordpress.com, launched this new movement that people can participate in all over the world. As he wrote on his blog: “The first official Peacemeal was held at my house on December 13, about one month ago. I had invited about 25 friends who I have known from various times of my life. Twenty -two people joined me to celebrate peace on what turned out to be a pleasant Thursday evening. It was a wonderful experience.

For a few moments, we all were able to leave behind our day-to-day lives and routines, convening in a very congenial and intimate atmosphere to address our mutual need for a peace existence.

We started at about 6:30, gathering first to talk and mingle and generally to get to know each other. It was interesting to see people from varied backgrounds interacting on first encounter in such an intimate way. We then convened in my living room to discuss (as a group and individually) what peace meant to each of us. Each person was given space, as we went around the room to speak. Most us spoke directly from the heart, and this eclectic group of people proved, altogether, very special.

Each person communicated a thirst to express their inner thoughts about the role of peace and love in their lives. It would almost be a cliché to say that the energy in the room was so almost overwhelmingly positive through this open and very honest communication. The desire for peace, especially inner peace hovered in the magnetic stillness of the room.

By the time we sat to eat our meal, it was clear the most of us wanted the same happiness and inner peace in our lives. It made me think that even as we go about our daily lives oblivious, it is clear that nearly everyone is seeking some sort or peaceful existence. And if given an opportunity, people want to express and share that desire. It is a human condition. And as we share our desire, it becomes more evident that we all want to live peacefully.

This is our world. We will make it in our image. Peace. Morsel by morsel.”

Join in the movement. Have your own dinner. To find out more about peacemeal go to their blog, http://thepeacemealproject.wordpress.com

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released May 1, 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016