There’s nothing like old friends. There’s a synchronicity. You know each other in a way that no one else does. You’ve shared experiences at a time in your life when your life was much different. When I read Jim’s email that he and his wife, Fern, would be in town, I was excited. Jim and I were young lawyers in Marin many years ago searching to find our way. Jim suggested that we meet at Green’s, the vegetarian restaurant, run by the SF Zen Center.

As Annie and I drove over the Golden Gate Bridge on the way to the restaurant I felt a sense of freedom as I noticed the cyclists and walkers enjoying themselves. I was reminded of some of the wilderness hikes that Jim and I went on many years ago when our lives were much simpler. I casually remarked to Annie that I couldn’t believe that I had never walked across the bridge. “Someday I am going to do that,” I declared.

Our plan was to have a leisurely lunch before returning to Marin. As we got up to leave, Jim asked me for a favor. He wanted to know if on our return to Marin we could drop them off at the Vista Point on the Marin side of the bridge so that they could walk back.

Not only did we drop them off, we walked most of the way with them before turning back and heading home.

My relationship with Jim has been cultivated over many years. And there have been many other special relationships cultivated over the course of time. But as we know, nothing seems to stay the same.

In our mobile society relationships are always changing. Jim hasn’t been the only friend who has moved away. Think about how many of us have moved away from the place where we grew up.

Then there are those relationships that for some reason just don’t work out. You play it out until it’s time to move on. In other relationships a common need or interest, which bound you at one time, is no longer enough. Then there is the inevitable, which is, that a few good friends will have passed on. As my good friend Sylvi just said to me, “Friends come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.”

It’s a basic need that we want to feel connected to others. This is true whether it’s at home, in the work place or in our day-to-day experience of life. Although we want it, we don’t necessarily know how to create it in our life especially when we don’t have that history or story to share.

The good news is that we have an awareness and set of skills that we didn’t possess many years ago. Connecting is not a matter of time. It happens in an instant when you connect with your whole being rather than just your intellect. I am sure you have had the experience of meeting someone and it seemed as if you had always known them. That can occur more frequently.

Once you have an intention to create more conection in your life, a shift happens. The question then becomes, as it is with many people that I work with in coaching, is what can I do to create more connection in my life?

Connection begins with you. It’s connecting with your higher power. It’s discovering your authentic self. Meditation is the pathway that I have chosen to this connection.

Then by expressing gratitude for the connection that is already in your life, you see yourself in a new way; a way that acknowledges a deeper truth, which is that it’s your innate nature to be connected. As your day progresses think of yourself as a connected being wondering about who you will be connecting with next. You will be amazed as to what happens.

I’m not saying you’ll connect with everyone. But there is a myth about connection that needs to be dispelled. Connecting with someone doesn’t take any more time, but does requires you to be more mindful of the present moment. It’s being curious about the other person and suspending judgment as to who you think they are.

Connection is a path and like most paths, there are going to be obstacles and challenges. You need to become aware of what these are before you can overcome them. The biggest obstacle and challenge for many of us is that we have not learned to be “active listeners.” Think about our “normal” conversations. Quite often it’s just an exchange of information. Rather than being in the present, we think about how to respond to what is being said. Before we know it we are thinking about something that happened to us many years ago that was triggered by what was said in the conversation. No wonder we never get who the other person is.

Another challenge is that we are invested in having to be right. We always try to get in the last word. Tell the truth-does that tendency sound familiar? Being right and connecting don’t go together! No matter how much work we have done on ourselves, we still have a little bit of the “being right’ in us.

It’s a basic belief of mine that connection can be cultivated. Before I got into coaching I was a decent connector when I wanted to be, but I don’t think it was one of my strenghts. That changed during my first coaching relationship. Pat gave me a whole new way to look at connection that has been instrumental in my having the awareness that I do now. When having a conversation with a prospective client, think about connecting with that person first,” he would often say. “And if you make the connection, then it’s a win-win situation for both of you without anything else needing to be said.”

The ability to connect with others opens up a whole new world. It transcends stereotypes and judgments, which creates fertile ground for new dialogue. A dialogue not constrained by history, but open to common ground for a consciousness of cooperation and togethernress. It’s up to us to create the world we envision. Let us join as one. Please feel free to share this message with those in your circle. This was also published as part of my Letters on Life series.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

THERE’S NO BETTER TIME THAN NOW. There will always be something that holds you back; an excuse to put your life on hold. JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow,JD, is an Executive and Life Coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former successful trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com

For some years now, I start my day with a ritual. After meditating and focusing on all of the blessings in my life, I start wondering about what the highlight of the day might be.

What I mean by highlight can be a conversation, a walk in nature or a feeling that I have. It might a feeling I get watching a movie or reading a book. I certainly felt that way watching a few movies recently. I already shared with in a previous blog, August Rush. If you haven’t already seen Across the Universe, it’s another great one.

When you come from a true place of wonderment, you don’t know when you will experience these moments, but you are open to feeling it when it occurs.

It might even be that there are two or three moments that in their own way elevate how you feel. Once that occurs you feel a flow in your life. It’s contagious. You come to expect it.

That’s the way it’s been lately. I already told you about the Golden Gate experience. And Sunday was another one of those moments. Not only did I connect with a new friend, I also found a new music partner. It was great sharing common ground about the creative process with someone new. It was a great day which has become the norm rather than the exception.

Wondering about the highlight of the day, helps you create a positive expectation as to your experience of life. It’s a great practice and takes just an open mind and a little curiosity. Experiment with it for a few weeks and see if you notice a difference. I bet you will.

Keep me posted.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

THERE’S NO BETTER TIME THAN NOW. There will always be something that holds you back; an excuse to put your life on hold. JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow ,JD, is an Executive and Life Coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former successful trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com.

I just watched, Click, a film with Adam Sandler, which had an interesting premise. What if we had a universal remote that could speed up our life so that if we really wanted something we could get it much sooner, just by clicking on the fast forward button.

That’s what Adam Sandler did. He was up for partner in an architectural firm, but it would be a year from the present. So he used fast forward to the day he would be named partner. And from there he fast forwarded some more to the day he was Architect of the Year. But by this time he was an old man and suffered from debilitating health problems.

In the film you see all that he missed…his kids growing up…his wife falling in love with someone else. It makes you think. Are we living too much in the future or are we taking extra steps to avoid experiencing what’s happening right in front of us? Usually it’s a combination of the two. We do anything to avoid pain. We keep busy, take mind altering substances. Caffeine speeds us up and alcohol slows us down. And of course there are many other substances.

So the question is what are you not willing to look at? Perhaps a little truth searching would be helpful. I remember when I used to struggle with relationships. I was in a rocky relationship that I described as “off and on.” The truth was that it was usually off and dragged on for two years. I didn’t want to look at the truth because I didn’t want to say that I was alone. So I put up with the pain to avoid looking at something much deeper.

Then one day I realized that I was alone. Having a relationship didn’t change that. Once I realized that I was alone, I began experiencing solitude which brought me a sense of inner peace.

Don’t be afraid to look at the truth. As they say the truth sets you free.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

THERE’S NO BETTER TIME THAN NOW. There will always be something that holds you back; an excuse to put your life on hold. JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com.

I love to read an inspiring book or watch a movie. A few days ago I wrote about 3 Cups of Tea. Now I have another one. This time it’s a movie which is August Rush. I watched it Friday evening. I loved the ending. It’s about a boy who is given up for adoption who hears music inside him. He believes that the music will lead him to his parents. He follows the music until the final scene which left me with a wonderful feeling inside. And so I watched it the next nite with Annie. There’s a lot of great music in the film and some touching scenes. Don’t want to tell you too much. You’ll have to rent it.

It reminded me to listen to my calling. August Rush listened to the music and he followed it. We all have an inner voice that is telling us something, but quite often we don’t listen.

And quite often we can’t hear that voice amidst all of the chatter and clutter. We have to be still before we can hear the voice and then it’s up to us to listen. Once we hear the voice we need to have a map and direction. It might take years but at least we know we are going in the right direction.

I think most us want to know that we have a deeper purpose. Finding that purpose is what much of our search is about. For me becoming a life coach was a step in that direction. Inspiring others to believe in themselves is what motivates me. It’s taken me a while to get there with a lot of twists and turns along the way.

Once you have a glimpse of what it is, allow it to expand. One step leads to the next and before you know it, you are fulfilling your life purpose. It doesn’t mean that life is now a walk in the beach, but certainly you fell that the challenge is worth the effort.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

THERE’S NO BETTER TIME THAN NOW. There will always be something that holds you back; an excuse to put your life on hold. JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com.

Today I can say it was fun. I couldn’t say that last week. In yoga this morning I felt the freedom that I hadn’t experienced before.

I didn’t know if it was possible. That was Ralph talking.(I mention Ralph in the last few blogs.)I kept going…didn’t give up and had a breakthrough.

I let go and enjoyed the process rather than focusing on what was not happening. I was able to be in the moment and felt that there was no other place to be.

I am sure that there are some things about your current reality that you would like to change. But what do you do in the meantime?

You enjoy the process. You love the process…the journey you are taking. You decide that you are having fun. Again it’s a decision that you make. And the truth is unless you consciously make this decision you fall into the negative patterns most of which are unconscious that have been running your life.

So make the choice. If you like this blog, most likely you will like my ezine, Letters on Life.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational and motivational way. http://www.inspirepossibility.com

The roosters were really crowing this morning. Went to yoga, second day in a row. It was a lot easier. I focused on my breath. I noticed how much more flexible I was, especially in my backbends.

After class Annie and I were drinking smoothies and I told her of my experience. She asked me if it was fun. And I said that I wasn’t thinking of that word to describe my experience. And I wasn’t sure if there was a word that could describe how I felt.

Once we put a word to our experience we lock in the range of what we experience. I know I felt good. I still felt resistant and proud of myself for sticking with it and going through my stuff.

And yes I had those other thoughts come up. Like why am I doing this. What difference will it make if I leave early or only go to a few more classes. And I still did the class and will be going back tomorrow.

I have always believed that any spiritual practice or discipline is a microcosm of the macrocosm of our entire life. In fact any pattern that comes up like the resistance that I experienced shows up in many other areas of my life.

Take a look at our your whole life. Is there one aspect of your life where your resistance shows up more than in others?

Resistance is basic. There is one important thing to remember. It’s ok to have resistance as long as it doesn’t stop you. It’s better to have the resistance, than the resistance having you.

This is going to be a short trip on Kauai. To make a commitment to a practice for a limited period of time is the best way to get going toward a long-term practice. I know that for just a few weeks I can do anything. And I’m excited to find out how I’ll be feeling at the end of our stay.

If you like this blog, most likely you will like my monthly ezine, Letters on Life.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational and motivational way. http://www.inspirepossibility.com

“Focus on how you want to feel and don’t worry about how you are going to get there.” Many of you are familiar with these words. They have been repeated many times on the movie, The Secret, and are mentioned in just about all of the prosperity books out there.

What was different today were the circumstances where I heard these words. We arrived on Kauai last night and this morning went to an early yoga class, at Yoga Hanalei. We have taken classes with Bhavani, for the last twelve years.

She greeted us on this early Sunday morning with those words. “How do we went to feel after class. Don’t worry how you are going to get there,” she said.

Here we were in an entirely different setting and those words were the first words we heard in the morning.

I quickly thought about what she said and realized that it all starts with the mind. Rather than thinking about the difficulty or challenges ahead, focus on the inner feeling. These teachings are not anything new and probably we can’t hear them enough. Or as Mike Robbins says, “Focus on the Good Stuff.”

As soon as the class started I realized that the intensity that I had been used to in the last six months was not on the same level as this class. I started to play a few mind games with myself but with Bhavani’s guidance settled in and focused on my breath. I soon felt a stillness that set the tone for the rest of the day.

I am sure you have heard many times, “One day at a time.” Why not, “One Breath at a Time?”

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational and motivational way. http://www.inspirepossibility.com

Are you having fun yet? I always ask new clients to evaluate their level of fun. On a scale of 1 to 10, how satisfied are you? Let’s look at the nature of fun.

Most of us have activities that we like to do and that are fun for us. But we have to admit that at times they also can seem like drudgery or boring.

I have come to believe that having fun is an attitude and a choice we make. Almost anything we do can be fun if we say it is. It’s up to us.

Imagine going through your day saying this is fun on more than a few occasions….try it….at least once in the day.

No matter what you are doing, whether it is at work or doing your daily rounds, say to yourself, “This is fun.”

See what happens. What do you notice? Another thing you might want to say to yourself is, “This is exciting?”

If you like this blog, you probably will also like my monthly newsletter, Letters on Life.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational and motivational way. http://www.inspirepossibility.com

I went to a workshop over the weekend. The focus of the workshop was to focus on our intentions for the year. We usually think in some way about our goals for the year. That’s what I went in with. One of my goals was to get my book, Witness to Life, published successfully. Another one was to take my coaching practice to the next level.

By the end of the day I got in touch with something different. What was that one thing that was most meaningful to me from which everything followed.

As the day progressed I got in touch with something that I have been thinking about for years now. I love to watch people get turned on about life….to get excited. I feel that is what I do… inspiring others to believe in themselves. So this is what I came up with.

My deepest intent is to inspire others to believe in themselves. I’m going to add this to my website and tagline on my email signature.

I know that if you think about it for a while, you can get in touch with what most moves you. When that happens you’ll be excited.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational and motivational way. http://www.inspirepossibility.com

Sometimes, when we are out of balance, it’s obvious. At other times, we need to pay attention to the signs or signals that are letting us know that something isn’t right. Living a balanced life is a series of adjustments.

I like to think of sailing to describe this concept. When the direction or intensity of the wind changes we have to adjust our sails to keep the boat sailing in the direction we want.

And that is our life…The winds are always going to change. There are going to be times when there is little or no wind…. and times when there are heavy winds. The wind is just what it is, but it’s how we adjust that matters. Living a balanced life is the ability to recognize when you are sailing off course and making the appropriate adjustments. The sooner you recognize you are off course the sooner you can make the necessary adjustments. Think of sailing as playing in the elements. It can be an enjoyable experience and so can your life.

Lets look at some of the signs or signals that tell you your life is out of balance.

Health issues remind you to give your body more attention and to slow down. How often do you take the time to prepare and enjoy a meal? And when you notice that you feel tired, ask yourself if you are getting enough exercise.

Conflict in your relationships is another sign that your life is out of balance. Have you taken the time to evaluate the quality of your relationships and your communication skills?

Then there are those periods of your life when you are too serious and have lost the ability to laugh and to have fun. During these periods, life is a constant struggle and seems to have no meaning.

Financial issues remind you to examine your basic values and your priorities.

At the heart of all these challenges is your ability to adjust to the stress they are causing you. Until you are able to make the necessary adjustments the simplest problem will seem magnified.

If you are a reader of this blog, you will also like my newsletter, Letters on Life.

Journey On

Mark

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational and motivational way. http://www.inspirepossibility.com