We all have had goals and dreams at times which have a long term horizon. When I was younger it was becoming a lawyer. And when I began my coaching career I had a vision of where I wanted to go with it and who I wanted to become. Yet there was the day-to-day navigation of getting there. There were the doubts and the uncertainty. “Was I on the right path? It’s not the way I thought it would go. It’s harder than I thought.” What was it that enabled me to hang in there?

It’s the vision of what we want down the road that keeps us going in the darkest moments and in the midst of uncertainty. In the beginning that’s all there might be. Just a vision——but a vision of what’s possible and a belief that this is our life’s work.

So we take a small step in the direction of where we want to go. At the time it might not seem significant. In retrospect we see that it was just one of many steps that have propelled us on our way. That small step over time gets magnified. I remember when I made the decision to become a coach. I was on the island of Kauai. I picked up the phone and signed up for the next program. And on the plane coming home my first client was waiting for me.

That phone call at the time seemed insignificant. Yet it was the first step that has led me to where I am at this time in my life.

Take the next step!

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes. Give yourself the gift of coaching and make an investment in your future.

“Some of my biggest disappointments never happened.”
~ Mark Twain

“I’m a recovering worrier. I am. I don’t always like to admit it, yet it’s true. I’m not sure if I was born a worrier or if I acquired a special talent for it along the way!

I’ve recently come to really recognize the futility of my worrying. It gets me nowhere, it’s not useful and in fact it restricts my ability to relax and drop into myself, which is usually where the answer to what’s troubling me can be found.

Recently I found myself worrying about the future, which is what most of us worry about – an event that has yet to take place, some worrisome thing that has not even happened – and may never. I was even defending my worry! I was using phrases like “yeah, but what if that plan doesn’t work?!”, or “suppose x, y or z ( I can fill in almost anything here!) happens?”, or “what if this person does that?!” My friend Cin, who was very patiently listening to me, said, “How about playing the ‘what if’ game in your favor?”

“The ‘what if’ game in my favor?”, I asked. “Yes!”, she said. “How about asking, ‘what if I won the lottery?!’, or ‘what if I met the love of my life?!’ or ‘what if everything worked out even better than I’d ever imagined?! I laughed out loud! It felt so much better to imagine great possibilities rather than dreadful ones.

It’s a choice. I saw that so clearly in that moment!

So now when I start to worry, well, first of all I commit to naming my habit. “Look at that!” I say,” I’m worrying again! Isn’t that amusing!” That creates a much needed distance between me and my worry. I’ve even given my worry a name. I call my it “Stella”. I don’t know why I chose that name, yet it works. “Come on in, Stella”, I say. “Have a seat. Let’s talk”. Now I treat worry like an old friend. My friend Mark says he calls his worry “Ralph”. They’re very good friends, too!

The point is, like Mark Twain said, “Most of my biggest disappointments never happened.”

So why worry? It’s certainly not helpful and its definitely not fun. Instead, when you find yourself in a worry pattern again, see if you can lighten up around it. Give it a name, invite it in, make friends with it.

With practice, I believe you’ll discover that your worry lessens. It likely will show up again, yet you can choose to have a brand new relationship with it!

This month’s practice:

Notice any tendency to worry that you may have. We all do it, yet we’re not always aware that we’re on auto-pilot with it. Next time you find yourself worrying, just observe it. Name it. “Oh, look at that! There I go again! I’m worrying!” Don’t judge yourself for worrying – that only makes it worse.

See if you can observe yourself from a neutral place and then watch what happens. Does that help you lighten up? Relax a little more? Create some distance? Any one of those positive outcomes – and even more –are possible. And relating to your worry like that is far more likely to help you access your inner wisdom – the place where your best solution undoubtedly lies.

ABOUT MARY

Mary O’Neill is known for her unique ability to open the minds and touch the hearts of her audiences. Her dynamic, upbeat and content-rich programs, have helped thousands of participants pave the way for more successful, productive, and high functioning relationships.

Mary’s two decades as a licensed psychotherapist, enable her to provide great insight into the understanding of how people and teams function and how they can co-exist more harmoniously and successfully.

Mary is masterful at helping people easily grasp and resolve the often challenging communication and interpersonal issues that arise among work groups everywhere.

CONTACT MARY: mary@maryoneill.com

When you focus on what is directly in front of you that next step is manageable. You know that there is nothing that will prevent you from taking it…ONE STEP AND THEN THE NEXT.

Imagine being at the bottom of a steep incline; when you look up you notice the steepness of the trail. But when you break it down into separate steps, the slope of the incline is neutralized.

So you take that step and then another. Of course there will be difficulties that get in the way, but you don’t let them stop you. You pick yourself up and continue on your journey. You are determined. Soon you are near the top and you sense what’s there. You are reminded why you began the journey. You know how satisfied you’ll feel from completing the task. You are ready for the next challenge. You are a seeker-the journey brings you alive.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes. Give yourself the gift of coaching and make an investment in your future.

One of these ideas is to ask ourselves and others, “What’s Possible?” This inquiry is much different than asking ourselves, “What’s the likelihood of that happening,” which is somewhat limiting.

When we ask what’s the likelihood of that happening, we are asked to make a judgment from a limited perspective. We don’t have all of the information and resources that we’ll have at a later time. We don’t know what will be possible once we have more information and more capabilities whether those capabilities are mental or physical.

But when you ask, “What Possible?” you open the door for the creative process to be a bigger part of your life. And the creative process is unlimited. From one idea comes another. In any creative process, one idea leads to something new that’s never been done before. In the process you create something that is an expression of your unique “You.” It can be a work of art, a new product or a new way of seeing your life.

Imagine your life as a creative work of art, as an unfolding expression of what possible.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes. Give yourself the gift of coaching and make an investment in your future.

We know from our work together that what we focus on expands. So if we want to change the circumstances of our life and how we feel about them, then we need to focus on the life we want. And rather than complain, develop a plan and take action.

Ask yourself what you would really like to change. If you aren’t sure what that is you don’t need to look any further than what you are complaining about. Rather than complain, imagine what it is that you would like to be different. See it in your mind. Make it real in your consciousness. Think about it in the morning. Think about it as you fall asleep. And then let it go. And along the way,

ENJOY THE JOURNEY

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes. Give yourself the gift of coaching and make an investment in your future.

We can’t change what has already occurred, but we can learn from it. What if we take this new information and use it to surpass what our previous expectations were? You might think that this is not only unreasonable but also impractical. Here’s why I think that this is not only reasonable but also very practical.

We have more information to work with and ways to use this new information to make us more effective. We have more experiences under our belt and more successes and setbacks.

Isn’t that the way of all of life? When we think of life’s seasons, we are reminded of the cyclical nature of life—— We prepare ourselves for the changes and look forward to each season. It provides a variation and new opportunity. If you love to ski, you can’t ski in the middle of the summer. And if you love go to the beach the winter is not very appealing.

When we let our past circumstances be our guide as to what to expect in the future we limit ourselves to what we know and what is possible. Think about what your life would be like if what concerns you turns out better than expected.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes. Give yourself the gift of coaching and make an investment in your future.

With one of my life coaching clients, who I will refer to as Sally, the theme was to reclaim her life. In fact that is the theme with many of my clients. What does reclaiming your life actually mean? Sally began by looking at some of her relationships, in particular her relationship with her primary partner and realized that he walked all over her. Eventually Sally realized that she was in an abusive relationship. As Sally got stronger she asked her partner to leave and opened herself up new beginnings.

Then she reevaluated her work environment. She noted the same pattern. One of her co-workers was taking advantage of her.

For Sally it began by drawing the line and saying, “No, that’s not ok.”

So what about you. Where do you need to draw the line and say, “No, that’s not o.k.” And with whom would you have that conversation? In what other aspects of your life can you say to yourself, “No, that’s not o.k.”

BE COURAGEOUS AND HAVE THAT CONVERSATION

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and speaker who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes. Give yourself the gift of coaching and make an investment in your future.

When our intentions are an extension of last years, nothing changes but the time of year. Unless we have a clear sense and purpose of why we are doing something, life’s challenges will deter us from doing something great and going to the next level in our life.

Our past disappointments have made it difficult to keep dreaming. Instead we have learned to accept the status quo. We give up on dreaming. We give up on what brings us alive.

Do you remember that last time you felt really alive? Do you remember how excited and determined you were? It was natural and effortless to put forth your best intention. You were determined to be your “best you.”

When you are your “best you”, your light shines. It’s attractive, exciting and compelling. It is when the universe is drawn to support you on your journey. It’s when you have the most potential to make the most difference in the life of others. It is your passion that ignites the spark of hope in others. You light the way for others to see.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and speaker who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes. Give yourself the gift of coaching and make an investment in your future.

Something has to give. The way you have been approaching the problem hasn’t been working. This is your chance to think outside the box and to be creative.

Begin to focus on the desired outcome you would like to see. Of course you might say to yourself, “Don’t be ridiculous that’s out of the question.” Don’t let those thoughts stop you. They have been running your life. Keep focusing on the result you want to achieve——see it, feel it.

Then ask yourself, “For that result to occur, what has to happen.” And then ask, “To make that happen what has to shift and what has to be done differently.”

Whatever you do, don’t keep rehashing what you know won’t work. And stop thinking of all of the reasons you think it can’t be done. Instead think of this challenge as an opportunity for you think in a new way.

JOURNEY ON

MARK
Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and speaker who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes. Give yourself the gift of coaching and make an investment in your future.

But our thoughts about these events, (the time that it actually takes to think about them) only consumes a fraction of our day. What do we feel in the rest of our day? Do we allow ourselves to notice the beautiful skies and feel the gentle breeze? Do we notice the rains filling up the creeks? Do we allow ourselves to receive the love from our pets. Do we slow down enough to notice?

There is potential magic in almost every moment if we are open to receiving. That means letting go of our judgments and our expectations. It’s beyond explanation. We feel it at unexpected moments.

It is in these moments when we feel nurtured. But we have to let go of our concerns about the rest of our life and to appreciate the present moment. That’s all we have and that’s all there will ever be. The rest is just a memory or our imagination running wild about what might or might not happen. That future that we keep concerning ourselves with keeps changing by the minute. Enjoy what you have. Enjoy the gift of the present.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and speaker who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes. Give yourself the gift of coaching and make an investment in your future.