When I was in law school, playing handball was a way of breaking up the day. This continued for a number of years even after law school. If I had a busy day in court, I would go the gym afterwards and play a few games. It was fun, engaging and a release from whatever stresses I was feeling. While I was there, I thought of nothing else but the game. The court was an enclosed room approximately 15×40’ in size with no ventilation. Every wall was in play. There weren’t many of us that had the stamina to play the game. I was pretty good at it, but when I played Bud Dillon, I met my match.

He could move as quick as I could and had the endurance to stay strong throughout the entire match. When I think of Bud I am reminded of his attitude. He was always enthusiastic and optimistic and had a twinkle in his eye and zest for living. What really amazed me about Bud was that he was 62. I didn’t just play handball with Bud. In a way Bud was one of my first mentors.

I think back to the person I was when I played handball with Bud. I had a lot of concerns. Could I do it? Would I pass the bar? Would I be successful in my career as a trial lawyer? Would I meet that special person? Many years have passed since those days. I look back on what I’ve learned.

It wasn’t exactly what Bud said, but he modeled the importance of attitude. It didn’t depend on the circumstances of his life. It didn’t depend on whether we were at war, or who was President. Nor did it depend on the economy. In each moment we get to choose our attitude. No one personifies this message better than Victor Frankl. In Man’s Search for Meaning, he shares his story of how he found meaning under the most horrendous conditions in a concentration camp. He never knew if he would live another day. Everything was taken away from him but the last of the human freedoms, which is the ability to choose one’s attitude under any circumstances. Frankl, who became a well-known therapist, should be a model for all of us.

That’s our challenge; to get up when we’re knocked down. To remain hopeful in the middle of the storm. As Bud and Frankl modeled, regardless of how severe the storm, we choose our attitude. What goes a long way is a good smile and a hearty laugh.

Bud would say to me that you have the potential to learn from everything that you do and from everyone you meet. That’s certainly been my experience. On many occasions after a hard fought game we would sit in the coffee shop and talk. He would tell me about his newest idea or the latest book that he was reading. It was Bud who suggested Man’s Search for Meaning, and it was Bud who got me interested in metaphysics.

I have found that as the years have gone by, I have experienced more changes than I ever thought I would. It’s the changes and learning new things that keeps me excited. It’s also going deeper into the daily practices that I have been committed to. With that comes a curiosity about what each day will bring. There is a simple practice that just takes a minute, which I have previously written about, that has changed how I look at each day. In the morning, I ask myself, “I wonder what the highlight of my day will be?” By asking myself this question I approach the day with curiosity and wonderment. By doing this, I create a positive expectation of how I want my day to be.

Bud was an example of keeping fit. He also let me know that age is just a number. How you feel about that number is another story. We give that number too much meaning. Taking care of your body is essential to enjoying and living a fully conscious life.

Too many of us are so wrapped up in our careers and other responsibilities that we don’t pay attention to our bodies. It’s only when we have something go wrong that we start to give it attention. Think of your body as a source of pleasure that needs to be nurtured. Self-care has to be a continuous practice. Thinking about self-care as a spiritual practice, is a great way to reframe how you relate to your body. Eating consciously is a choice we make. Bud would always talk to me about diet and supplements. As we age our bodies become more sensitive. We need to pay more attention as to what we put into our bodies.

Creating sanctuary should be an important part of your life. Sanctuary can mean many things. I think of sanctuary as a consciousness, in which I am able to separate myself from my concerns in the rest of my life. I feel renewed. It is a sacred moment. Make the space for sanctuary in your life. Make it a way of life.

Meditation and yoga have been a life-long sanctuary for me. Even when I was a busy trial lawyer, I made time to meditate and practice yoga before going to court. Not only did I feel better, I was more present. I have been a serious practitioner of yoga for 12 years. With each year, instead of thinking about aches and pains, I think about how much more flexible I am. And that pertains to how I see my entire life. I’m excited about tomorrow. There are many other ways to create sanctuary in your life. The dance classes that Annie and I go to each week have become a sanctuary. Playing music and writing also provide sanctuary and many magical moments.

Getting away gives you a new perspective and opportunity to see your life from a different vantage point. Kauai has been that place for me. It not only benefits me, but also my family and all those who come into my sphere.

You can’t do it alone and why would you want to. When we think back we realize that we have been blessed by many mentors and teachers, although we didn’t recognize them as such at the time. It was like that with Bud. When I would worry about my law practice, Bud would always say, “Don’t worry, things will take care of themselves.” Another thing Bud would always say was, “Appreciate the little things, appreciate the moment.”

I think of the all of the struggles and moments of joy that have led to this moment. As we age consciously, we have the wisdom of experience. We have perspective. We have learned from our mistakes and finally get it right. We accept that “this” is our life and are grateful for it. We have an extraordinary capacity to experience greater joy and love in our life. We make our life way too complicated. It’s the smile or warm greeting from our pet. It’s the connection with a kindred soul. It’s the taking the time to watch a sunset or walk in the woods. This is what real freedom is.

JOURNEY ON

MARK
JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow,JD, is an Executive and Life Coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former successful trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com

I just watched, Click, a film with Adam Sandler, which had an interesting premise. What if we had a universal remote that could speed up our life so that if we really wanted something we could get it much sooner, just by clicking on the fast forward button.

That’s what Adam Sandler did. He was up for partner in an architectural firm, but it would be a year from the present. So he used fast forward to the day he would be named partner. And from there he fast forwarded some more to the day he was Architect of the Year. But by this time he was an old man and suffered from debilitating health problems.

In the film you see all that he missed…his kids growing up…his wife falling in love with someone else. It makes you think. Are we living too much in the future or are we taking extra steps to avoid experiencing what’s happening right in front of us? Usually it’s a combination of the two. We do anything to avoid pain. We keep busy, take mind altering substances. Caffeine speeds us up and alcohol slows us down. And of course there are many other substances.

So the question is what are you not willing to look at? Perhaps a little truth searching would be helpful. I remember when I used to struggle with relationships. I was in a rocky relationship that I described as “off and on.” The truth was that it was usually off and dragged on for two years. I didn’t want to look at the truth because I didn’t want to say that I was alone. So I put up with the pain to avoid looking at something much deeper.

Then one day I realized that I was alone. Having a relationship didn’t change that. Once I realized that I was alone, I began experiencing solitude which brought me a sense of inner peace.

Don’t be afraid to look at the truth. As they say the truth sets you free.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

THERE’S NO BETTER TIME THAN NOW. There will always be something that holds you back; an excuse to put your life on hold. JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com.

I’m thinking about the highlight today. And I would have to say it was getting to know a new friend….somebody who I see at the coffee shop yet who remains a mystery. (Let’s call her Susan.) And how much do I really want to know? And what if I did find out her innermost secrets? Would I want to take that on?

And then I think what I really want is to connect with her. That’s why I love what I do in my work. I get to connect with people everyday in a real way. It helps to know their story. And even if I don’t know their story I can still connect with them emotionally…their fear, their uncertainty, their hopes and aspirations.

In my article, the Four Fundamental Truths of Communication, I wrote that the first truth is that what we all want is connection. We crave it. We want to have more intimacy in our interactions.

And yes we want to know those secrets…yet we can connect by being present with the other person and listening….not just to the words but to the feeling behind the words. Think about the connection in your life. What would it take to have more of it? What steps could you take now to create more of it in your life.

My newsletter, Letters on Life went out today. I called the article Got Time? Are you willing to take the time to connect.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

THERE’S NO BETTER TIME THAN NOW. There will always be something that holds you back; an excuse to put your life on hold. JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com.

I have realized that in almost every coaching call that I have with clients that there is a nugget that pertains to all of us.

Frank(fictitious name), an architect, has seen his business continually grow. The quality of services that he provides keeps expanding as does Frank personally and professionally, yet he has a few clients who don’t want to grow with him.

On a practical level, Frank doesn’t need their business. He has a steady flow yet he doesn’t want to turn away business.

So what’s he to do. That is a dilemma that we all have. Not just in business but in our entire life.

When do we move on and let someone go. When do we say to ourself that we can do better.

Yes we still want to be compassionate, yet we realize that every interaction that we have with that person is a piece of work. It’s an effort that no longer serves us.

I am a firm believer in making changes and letting someone go is part of that. It’s not unusual that when you do let go that there will be a void in your life…you might even question whether you made the right decision. But that void gets filled quickly.

On another level what you are really doing is sending a message to the universe. You are making a definitive statement as to the quality of the life that you want and expect and the people who you wish to partner with.

Here’s the question. Who or what are you willing to let go of? There is so much focus on what we want and what steps we can take to get there that we overlook a basic premise.

It’s our willingness to let go that allows us to take the path of least resistance. Think about it. Let it flow. My free monthly ezine, Letters on LIfe explores these questions in more depth.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com.

I just got back from a coaches meeting and the subject came up of how to be a “thoughtleader.”

And of course, many of us wanted to know what a “thoughtleader” is. And how does one qualify to become one?

In the discussion, what came out was that there isn’t a simple definition that we can use.

So I thought that I would make it work for me. In my mind, a “thoughtleader” is someone who is a leader who influences others.

Usually an expert in some field, although not necessarily so. Perhaps in some way we are all “thoughtleaders.”

We have something to say that can make a difference in someone’s life. What’s amazing to me is the number of times that a casual encouraging remark many years previous made a difference in someone’s life.

We don’t realize the power we have to make a difference. But we can’t make a difference by keeping our beliefs to ourselves. It’s a great feeling to empower others and is needed by all of us. That’s one thing that “thoughtleaders” do…they make a difference.

We all have that potential. You make a difference. Let someone know.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com.

There’s always that thing that gets in the way. You’re doing pretty good. In fact compared to most people you are doing great. Even you have to admit that. You’re proud of yourself especially when you look back over the last year. Wow….I have really come a long way you think to yourself.

And in fact you have. You could have never handled what you are handling now a year ago.

It’s too good to be true is what you decide…so you start thinking about what’s wrong. And of course you find it and focus on it. A year ago that wasn’t even a consideration. But today you have higher standards.

Even though you’ve come all this way, your focus is on what’s wrong. Does this scenario sound familiar? I hear this all of the time. It’s the proverbial “fly on the ointment.”

So what’s the solution. As we know what you focus on expands. If you continue to focus on what’s wrong, you will notice it more and more.

Feel gratitude for what’s working in your life. Acknowledge yourself for what you have created.

Realize that things are perfect exactly the way they are. It’s part of the process. It’s a reminder that there’s work to do. And you have a choice. Make it fun. Enjoy the journey.

If you like to read this blog, most likely you will enjoy my monthly ezine, Letters on Life.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com.

There’s a little rain this morning. Kind of a nice rain…keeps it green. As I look outside I see an abundance of birds on my fruit trees as they are just beginning to show buds. Still aways to go but the process has started. It’s a transition into a new season.

So I think about other areas of my life…where am I transitioning into another season…in some ways are lives are always in transition. There is always change in some way. We can’t prevent it. Enjoy it. Embrace it. It’s the natural order of life. We can also think of change as flow. When there is flow in our lives, we are open to what’s next. We welcome it.

By embracing change as a way of life, you can look forward to change as opportunity, as adventure, as possibility. Change is also about the future. Each day we have a choice as to what that future is. Choose it…create it.

If you like this blog, most likely you will like my monthly ezine, Letters on Life.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com.

It’s academy awards time and I’m on a mission to see the five films that are nominated for best picture. I have one to go which is Juno.

I can’t say that I’ve liked all of the pictures. I don’t think “like” is the word. I’m not even sure why I want to see all of them.

Most of us have definite likes and dislikes. And over time they limit our choices and what we do. We have preconceived notions as to whether or not we are going to enjoy ourselves which continues to get reinforced over time.

The trap we fall into as we become more selective is that we put ourselves in a box. We don’t allow ourselves to experience new things or a new way at looking at things. Most of our friends think the same way we do and share similar spiritual and political beliefs.

It’s time to stretch. What is something that you avoid doing? What would happen if you not only did it but you embraced and told yourself that you are having fun.

Try it and see what happens. You might be pleasantly surprised.

If you like this blog, most likely you will enjoy my monthly ezine, Letters on Life.

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com.

Yesterday we learned about the Purple Light technique. Yet you still have more conflict than you like. Why is that? Yesterday I had two conversations with people regarding this challenge. So what can you do.

One of which was with housemates. The other was in an educational setting. In our daily affairs we are going to run into many people with issues that have nothing to do with you. Most likely they have had these issues way before you ever met them.

You are not going to change them. Most likely they are not interested in changing…yet they are in your life now. You got to deal with them and make the best of it. What do you do?

Have you noticed that you have a tendency to want to get in the last word? And if you don’t get it in, you think that you should have. I know I have. Why should they treat you this way? “I’m not going to let them get away with it.”

Let’s be honest. We have all been there. We want to let them know what we really think of them.

Don’t go there. Let go of the need to be right. It’s what keeps us hooked in and you know what? That’s all they know. They’ll want to get in the last word and feel vindicated. It will never end. Let it go.

Maybe you’ll feel that you are right but at the same time you’ll feel miserable and worked up. It’s not worth it. Let it go. Communicate with them. Understand why they feel the way they do. You don’t need to do much more. Remember you aren’t going to change someone by making them wrong.

If you like this blog, most likely you will like my monthly ezine, Letters on Life.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. http://www.inspirepossibility.com.

Yesterday we talked about how negative people have a tendency to bring us down. We also talked about what we can do to counteract this tendency. It’s a choice we make over and over again to let them get to us.

Last night my wife, Annie and I were discussing with a friend what to do in the face of negative people. Let’s just say that there is someone in your life that you are intimately involved with. What I mean is that they are a central figure in your life. It could be a family member, a co-worker or a past lover. They get to you and yes there is a lot of negative energy flying.

What can you do to counteract this energy? Annie who is a healer had this suggestion. Imagine this person surrounded by a purple color which is a healing energy.

Then next time you are in that persons presence see them surrounded in that light. And even afterwards see them surrounded by that light.

If you like this blog, most likely you will enjoy my monthly ezine, Letters on Life.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. http://www.inspirepossibility.com.