life coach

Say “Goodbye to Negative Thinking”

Monday, April 27th, 2015

Like most people I’m sure you hear that voice, that voice of judgment, the inner critic that keeps repeating some version of the theme that you’re not good enough. You would give almost anything to silence it. At times it feels like a hypnotic spell has been cast upon you.

Here’s what can you do to break this spell. Start your day differently. How you start your day sets the tone for the rest of the day!
Sit for a few minutes in silence and then slowly focus on what you are grateful for. What this does is shift your focus from what isn’t working and what you don’t like about your life, to what is working and what you do like. This simple practice goes a long way toward breaking the hypnotic habit of negative thinking. And you know how it works. If you don’t break the spell, before you know it, you begin imagining worse case scenarios.

The sooner you can recognize your voice of judgment that in coaching we refer to as your gremlin, the sooner you can get rid of it. The doing something is simple and perhaps counterintuitive. All you have to do is to notice. That’s it. What helps is to give it a name so that you’re somewhat detached from the feeling. I call my gremlin Ralph. This simple practice of just noticing is profound. Don’t judge it. Don’t beat yourself up. Notice it and then say, “Next.” Try it for 30 days and see what happens.
This practice is a great first step to becoming a more positive person. Consistent positive thinking, not only changes your outlook on life, but it also empowers you to see opportunities that previously you would not have looked at. And more importantly life will seem less stressful.

Please join me on the Journey On radio show and listen cutting edge thought leaders blogtalkradio.com/journeyon

“At times our own light goes out, and is reignited by the spark of another person.”

Journey On

Mark Susnow knows change. He is an executive-life coach, life-discovery guide and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. In his prior career, he was covered by the NY Times, Boston Globe, and Rolling Stone Magazine. He is the author of Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

The Lost Art of Uni-Tasking

Friday, October 11th, 2013

Last week I was in the checkout line at the local health food store. It’s not unusual to run into old friends. I hadn’t seen Oscar in some time. In the midst of a catch-up conversation he attempted to pay his bill. After fumbling around, he laughed and said I better uni-task. So that got me thinking. Multitasking has become pandemic.

We want to do it all and have a concern that we might be missing out on something—that call or message that pertains to a different reality than the one we are engaged in at the present moment. We pay a price for these distractions. In the process we lose our ability to really get into something and know it well. Rather than being in the moment with what we are doing, we are already thinking about something else. Is that something else more important than what we are doing now? And of course the pattern continues. We don’t really commit to being fully present. We don’t commit to just being. Because of this our experience of what’s possible is limited. We never do reach our full potential!

The concern that we will miss out keeps most of us, if not all of us, clued to the latest technological device. As soon as we see or hear a signal that we have an incoming message, we interrupt what we are doing to notice the nature of that incoming message. Very rarely is it something important that has to be handled in the moment.

The bigger price we pay is that the flow of our conversation has been interrupted. None of us like to be interrupted when in the presence of another. In the current scenario we are being interrupted essentially by a computer. The energy changes and the connection has been lost. Sure we have more information at our fingertips, but we’ve replaced intimacy with information. Worrying about missing out on something actually will lead to a bigger loss. Which is missing out on intimately connecting with others.

It also neglects the importance of the person with whom we are interacting and in the process ourselves. We have allowed our lives to be programmed by computers. It raises the question as to how much free will we really have.

It’s also symptomatic of a bigger problem. Our concern about external events gets in the way of our being in the moment.

I’m often asked what I think are the main concerns that people experience. Perhaps the biggest concern is how to make peace with an uncertain future. Our challenge is to develop a trust that if we live totally in the present that the uncertainty we have about the future will unfold the way it should. Our part is to be 100% committed to whatever we are engaged in. It doesn’t mean to be in denial of some of the problems that we all experience individually and collectively. But when we approach these concerns with 100% focus and effort, then we begin to discover solutions to problems that previously were thought to be insoluble.

Intellect and information are extremely important, but by themselves are not enough. What has been lost is the ability to connect with others and to work together. It’s difficult to connect with someone when you are not being in the moment with them and truly listening to what their concerns are. You can’t truly get them when you are multitasking.

Yes we are curious and have a desire to know. Learn to trust that for one precious moment it’s all going to work out. For that one moment just be. Try it for ten minutes. Just be and give your concerns a holiday. They don’t need you all of the time. That holiday includes taking a vacation from your smart phone.

Living in the moment and being present is an art form that can be cultivated. The ones that have mastered it have a presence about them. They are connected to the source of their personal power and all that is and has always been.

Meditation in the morning is an essential practice to cultivate in this rapidly changing world. It’s the first step toward becoming a master uni-tasker.

Enjoy the journey

Mark

Join Mark and his cohost Ralph Marston for the Journey On radio show. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/journeyon.

Mark Susnow, is an executive-life coach and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

Be ‘at Choice’ in the Matter.

Wednesday, April 3rd, 2013

We all have been faced with having to do certain things that we resented having to do. In the big picture why we felt that way is not that significant. We still have to do it and eventually will do it. Quite often when we don’t like to do something we put it on the back burner hoping that it will go away. But it doesn’t. Eventually we do it and have wasted enormous energy thinking about why we shouldn’t have to perform the task at hand.

Quite often when we finally finish our task we feel good afterwards.  There is the satisfaction that we get from a job well done.

Make a subtle shift. You always feel empowered when you are ‘at chose’ in the matter. Instead of saying or thinking, “I have to do this.”  Say to yourself or think, “Wow, I get to do this.”  Why not make what is next for you enjoyable. When you have that edge of excitement you can transform the simplest of tasks into a privilege.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive-life coach and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River: Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

DO IT ANYWAY

Thursday, November 29th, 2012

Getting on the positive side of change can become a life changing habit that is exciting and dynamic. After a while we look forward to change as an adventure and opportunity.

But it takes us a while to get there. As a life coach, I get to see how people sabotage themselves. One of the ways is the failure to follow through which is a cousin to procrastination. You think about doing something and it sounds good but you don’t do anything about it. “Another great idea stuck in your mind.” You either talk yourself out of it or just don’t do anything about it.

What I’ve learned is that there is no better time than now to begin. We might say to ourselves, “Yes it is a good idea, but I’ll get to it when “this” happens.” The “this” is something we believe will occur in the future. Unfortunately there will always be another excuse that gets in the way. Perhaps you’ve heard the expression, “You either get results or have excuses.”

The next time you have a good idea, make it happen. You are the perfect person to implement it. You had a vision. See it through.

Most likely had you already begun, you would have completed the project over and over again.

Putting it off doesn’t make it easier. In fact it makes it more difficult. As I’ve said before you could have completed it by now or at least got a head start on completing it.

Even some activities such as hobbies we keep putting off. My newest hobby is playing the piano. I had thought playing for many years and always had a piano in my house. There was no way that waiting was going to make it easier. I took the plunge and began. I made the commitment to do the work and to practice. I found a teacher who has accelerated the process.

Now I am at the point where I can explore more interesting ideas and I look forward to sitting down and playing. But I had to pay my dues to get here. There are some days when I don’t feel like practicing, but I practice anyway.

ENJOY THE JOURNEY

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

LEARN TO LOVE THE LOOSE ENDS

Wednesday, October 31st, 2012

In a life coaching yesterday, Carl, like many others, complained about not having enough time. He acted as if it was a rare commodity. He complained about his commute, the different responsibilities that he had and how his life was slipping away. Carl was hoping that someday he could do what he wanted. He longed for the day when he could be peaceful, happy and loving. Of course that day was sometime in the future when he would be retired which might be ten years from now.

I explained to Carl if what he valued and wanted was peace, love and happiness that he didn’t have to wait. As I’ve written before on numerous occasions, the only perfect time is now. Now is the time to be the person you want to be. Yes I mean right now. I know that you have a few loose ends…maybe more than a few…I have them too.

Learn to love those loose ends——they help you grow. Aren’t loose ends really that edge between where you are now and where you want to be. Right now I’m studying the piano. There is always something new to learn. No matter how accomplished I become, there will always be something new to learn. Yes at times it seems frustrating and overwhelming, but I break it down knowing that by working on it today I’ll be better than I was yesterday. In the process it helps me get on the positive side of change.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

THAT FIRST STEP

Thursday, October 18th, 2012

As a life coach I have heard almost every excuse that there is. The number one excuse is “Someday when the circumstances are different I’ll do it.” That someday has many variations of the same theme that use slightly different words. It might sound something like this:
When I graduate.
When the economy picks up.
When I meet the one.
When I get divorced.
When I get some money.
When I retire.
When I have more time

And it goes on. What do all of these excuses have in common? It is the belief that different circumstances that might occur in the future, will provide the missing link in our lives… but it doesn’t work that way because when that future arrives, there will be more excuses. They’re similar but slightly different. There will always be new variations on the same theme.

Putting off enjoyment of life and waiting to do what you really want to do is an unhealthy habit. There will always be reasons not to do something or to start something new. There is no virtue is sitting on the river bank and watching the river of life flow by without you.

You know what I’m getting at…you need to make a decision rather than making an excuse and decide whether you really want to do something. If you do, then come up with a plan. Then take the first step toward implementing that plan. It can be a little step. It’s like anything that you learn. That first step might be challenging at first but then it becomes second nature. But you have to work it to get there. And then you’re ready for the next level.

The only perfect time to get on the positive side of change is now.

ENJOY THE JOURNEY

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

DOUBTS AND SECOND GUESSING

Friday, October 5th, 2012

Twelve years ago I made one of the biggest decisions in my life. I transitioned from being a successful trial lawyer to what I do now as an executive and life coach and motivational speaker.

Do I ever wonder if I made the right decision? Yes and more than on just a few occasions. That decision led to where I am now. Writing “Dancing on the River: Navigating Life’s Changes” was another important decision. I refer to it as a decision because there were many times when I could have just abandoned the project especially when I didn’t feel that I was making any progress…there were many days when I didn’t feel like writing and somedays the ideas and insights weren’t there….but I kept at it. I was persistent because I had the end result in mind and knew how fulfilled I would feel upon completion.

I am so thankful for that decision. It was a turning point. Since then I’ve been excited about my life, yet I still wonder at times if I made the right decision.

So doubts are part of it. They let you know that you have thoroughly thought about what you are getting yourself into. That second guessing doesn’t add anything to your life except add to your frustration and stress.

Even though your past hasn’t been perfect, you have been successful in many ways. The past has provided you with the insights and tools to enable you to get you where you are now. You now have the commitment to get ahead in your life. You know that what looks like a disappointment initially actually just might be an opportunity in disguise.

ENJOY THE JOURNEY

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

PUT ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER

Tuesday, June 26th, 2012

There is a point in our life when we feel we need to make a change, even though we might not have clarity as to an alternative. That was my situation, when I realized that I was done being a trial lawyer. My challenge was that I didn’t have clarity as to what an alternative could be. So I want to a career counselor hoping to get that clarity. Still after a number of sessions, no clarity.

I then questioned whether I should make that career change, since there didn’t seem to be a viable alternative. At the time, my options were to continue as an attorney, or to stop and to do nothing. With a family, I had certain responsibilities that I was conscientious about.

I took a leap of faith, one of the biggest of my life, and gave up my law career, trusting that the next path would be revealed to me. On a deeper level I did have the confidence that since I’ve been successful before, I could be successful in my new life even though I wasn’t sure what that would be. That was twelve years ago. Here I am now, totally involved in a new way of being and a new way of life. So what enabled me to get to where I am now.

You’ve heard it before—one step at a time. When you’re climbing a mountain, you take the step that’s in front of you. When you do that, moving forward is more manageable. So with any of our challenges, that’s all we can do. And we take the next step, we’re able to see a path in the form of possibilities that we weren’t able to see when we first began the journey.

I went on to begin my career as a life coach. Then my newsletter, Letters on Life, and then my book, Dancing on the River: Navigating Life’s Changes. The next step was speaking to groups on the Eight Principles of Navigating Change.

This continued evolution consisted of taking small steps, one step at a time. It seemed there was always something that I could do to move forward and to enliven me. Blogging was one of them; meeting new people another.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

WHAT IS YOUR WINNING FORMULA?

Tuesday, June 12th, 2012

Take some time to reflect upon what your life, focusing on what you are most proud of and what are some of your greatest successes. When I look back at my life and reflect upon some of my greatest successes, I notice that there were certain habits and characteristics that were instrumental in my creating what I have up to this point in my life. Some people might refer to it as your “winning formula.”

Let’s explore a few of these characteristics and see if they have been a component of some of your greatest successes. If not they are certainly something to think about.

1. Determination has been the key. But it’s difficult to stay determined unless what you are trying to achieve is important and you really want it. If you aren’t determined, you’ll focus on the excuses rather than the outcome.

But quite often we aren’t even aware of the excuses that we come up with until someone points it out. And even then, we’ll come up with more excuses. When a prospective coaching client first contacts me, I pay close attention to what they are saying and the language they are using. Are they using words of lack and limitation or words of possibility?

2. Let’s explore one more empowering practice. Discipline! It’s huge…you can’t get really good at anything consistently unless you practice….whether it’s a musical instrument, a physical practice, or learning something new, it takes practice…perhaps you’ve heard the question..how do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, Practice, Practice. It’ the consistency from the discipline that allows us to keep going even when we don’t feel like working anymore.

Let’s look at it from a different perspective.

Imagine you are traveling to an important event. But on the way you get lost. How do you handle it? Do you get frustrated? Or do you stop and acknowledge that you are lost and that you need to reassess how to get there. You look at your available resources. Your GPS is nearby. Most certainly you don’t stay where you are. What makes your internal GPS effective is focus and determination.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

WHERE ARE YOU ON THE CONFIDENCE GAUGE?

Friday, June 1st, 2012

Imagine that you have a confidence gauge that ranges from 1-100, with 100 being its highest level. When your confidence is high, the difficulties that occur in everyday life, don’t affect as much. In fact, you see them as challenges and opportunities.

We would like to be on that level most of the time, but unfortunately it doesn’t work that way. Our confidence fluctuates and difficulties do affect us and we get discouraged at times. What brings it down are those disappointments that makes life seem more challenging. Our resilience has taken a hit and our moods are affected by external stimuli. The good news is that we do have the means and opportunity to increase the level of our gauge so that we experience life from the upper levels.

No matter what is happening in our life, we always have another choice as to the meaning we give it. No doubt there are things in the world that happen and are horrific and affect the collective consciousness. But life is also beautiful and touching when we stay open and allow ourselves to experience it.

There is no doubt that life seems unfair at times, but you don’t accomplish anything by complaining. Instead, put your energy into the direction of changing, what you think seems unfair. When you have a purpose and or a cause it’s easier to focus on where you are going and where you want to go.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes. Give yourself the gift of coaching and make an investment in your future.


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