You might have your own definition of success. Success is more than making money. Success is more than being recognized in a career. It’s about being happy. It’s about liking who you are. It’s about having loving relationships. But if you are successful in a career and don’t have time to share your success with loved ones, you are missing out on one of the joys of life. With your busy lifestyle, you wonder how you can find that balance.

1. How you start your day sets the tone for the day. If you start the day in a hurry it’s extremely difficult to slow down. What I have seen is that most people wake up in the morning–rush out of the house, trying to make an appointment or deadline. Underneath their concern that they won’t be able to get it all done, is an underlying anxiety. Perhaps you feel the same way. You sometimes wish you had a magic wand that could make things different.”

Although there is no magic wand there is a morning practice that if implemented can change your life. After you wake up and before you do anything else, take 10-15 minutes for reflection. Perhaps you already have a meditation practice. If you don’t, just sit still and pay attention to your breathing.

After ten minutes or so, begin to focus on what you are grateful for. Perhaps there might be only a few things that you can think of in the beginning, but once you make this part of your daily practice, you’ll realize how blessed you are. By focusing on what you are grateful for, you shift your focus from what’s wrong about your life to what’s right. It’s an amazing practice, which has the power to transform your life.

Then by wondering about what the highlight of your day might be, you create a positive expectation as the day progresses. Briefly scan what you have to do during the day with that focus in mind. Of course you’re always open to those pleasant surprises… those moments of grace that uplift your spirit. It might just be for a moment or two but you are totally present in that moment.

2. Learn how to recognize and know your VOJ. The VOJ is that voice of judgment that drives you nuts. You would give anything to silence it for a few minutes. The sooner that you can recognize your VOJ, the sooner you can become free of the hypnotic spell that can last a lifetime if you don’t do anything about it. Doubting and self-criticism become the norm. But the doing is a different type of doing. It’s just noticing when the VOJ raises its voice. Simply by recognizing it, you break the spell. I have found that giving this voice a name is most effective in breaking the spell. I call my VOJ, Ralph. This is a lifelong challenge so don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t happen overnight.

3. Self-Acceptance is the next secret. Let’s be honest with ourselves. There are certain things we can’t change about ourselves. We can’t change who are parents are. We can’t change our country of origin. We can’t change all of the injustices in the world. We can try. But we can change, although challenging, how we think about ourselves and our circumstances. And we can change, although challenging, how we think about our bodies. Even though we are our own worst critics, our work is to accept those things that we don’t like about ourselves. It’s the acceptances of these attitudes and beliefs that is so freeing.

4. Introduce positive self-talk (VIP) into the conversation. Now that you are more familiar with those voices and patterns that have been running your life, it’s time to listen to a new voice that needs to be nurtured and cultivated. It’s a voice if honored and respected can change how you think about yourself. I call this voice your VIP. It’s the voice of Inspiration and Praise that we don’t listen to or hear enough. That voice, that I call Buddy is my inner champion. When I think that I shouldn’t have felt the way I did about something that happened or that I shouldn’t have acted in a certain way, Buddy sends me a few words of encouragement. He says to me, “you’re doing great. You handled that well.”

It takes conscious effort and resolve to cultivate your VIP. As you learn to trust and listen to it, how you feel about your life will shift.
Our work is to create more points of light that inspire us and make us feel good

5. Make time for the Jollies. So here we are again with another new phrase. No I haven’t lost my mind.
We all have our share of challenges that concern us from time to time; some more challenging than others. Some of us feel overwhelmed by all that we are faced with.
Even though life might be like that for you, there are still a lot of things that have given you joy at one time or the other. They might be little things that you have forgotten about.
Lately I have made time for tennis. I forgot how much fun playing tennis is. The same thing for dancing. Going dancing is always a lot of fun especially as I get better. The Jollies is taking the time to do what gives you joy. So when I say make time for the jollies…I mean make time for what gives you “joy.”
Those things that you have to do or that you are concerned about, don’t go away. Even when your “to do” list has plenty of things on it and you still have loose ends in your life, still make time for the jollies whatever they are for you. In the beginning it might take effort, but it wlll have a profound effect on the quality of your life.

6. Smile and laugh a little bit more than yesterday. Most of us are too serious. I was certainly that way. Once you accept those things about yourself that you used to be embarrassed by, there is no question that you will be lighter.
And isn’t that what it’s all about–becoming lighter.

When I was younger I thought about becoming enlightened. Enlightenment was the carrot that kept me going on my spiritual quest. With family and career my focus shifted. Even though I stopped thinking about enlightenment it still popped up from time to time. So I have come up with my definition that works for me. It means to “lighten up.” When you do, you have less stress, better health and more fun. I’m not suggesting for you to go out there and perform standup comedy, but see what happens if you tell a joke once in a while. Becoming more playful is a worthy challenge and a gift to all who are in your presence.
JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational way. http://www.inspirepossibility.com

So here we are. I bet you’re curious about the title. No I haven’t lost my mind. Let me tell you how I came up with this phrase.

We all have our share of challenges that concern us from time to time; some more challenging than others. Some of us even feel overwhelmed by what they are faced with. Others, although not overwhelmed, are very concerned by what they are facing. So much so that they don’t do anything about it. They know what they have to do, but a paralysis sets in. They lose their nerve, and feel like they are losing control, yet hang on by a thread.

Even though life might be like that for you, there are still a lot of things that have given you joy at one time or the other. They might be little things that you have forgotten about because of all of your responsibilities. If you let them, your responsibilities and obligations take over and run your life.

In my own life, I keep pretty busy, but lately have made time for tennis. At one time in my life, I use to be a pretty good player. I hadn’t played for five years. I forgot how much fun playing tennis is. Going dancing is always lot of fun. It’s really taking time to do what gives you joy. So when I say make time for the jollies…I mean make time for what gives you “joy.”

Those things that you have to do or that you are concerned about, don’t go away. Even when you get them off your “to do” lists, they reemerge in a different form. Even when your “to do” list still has plenty of things on it and you still have loose ends in your life, what are some things you can do that will give you the “jollies?” Make a list that has at least 3 things on them. Make an agreement with yourself when you’ll begin them.

JOURNEY ON

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational way. http://www.inspirepossibility.com

Sometimes you’re just ready to say, “Yes.” So when I read the email about the show, To Whom the Bridge Tolls, a satire about Marin Life, I knew what I wanted to do this New Years Eve. Annie and I asked our good friends Rick and Nancy to join us. With my expectations running high, I wasn’t disappointed. I laughed non-stop as one line after the other made fun of Marin living, which I am proud to be part of. Not only was it great to laugh, it always feels good to laugh at yourself. With that sentiment in mind, I totally cracked up, at the joke about Life Coaches. Sometimes we get so caught up in the personal challenges we are facing, we aren’t able to laugh, which is what we need to do.

As the showed progressed from one skit to the other, I was thinking about that second when the New Year would be here. It has been a challenging year for many. I like to think of myself as a visionary thinker. I believe we are about to being an exciting new era. We are on the verge of a new Renaissance. All of the ingredients are there; the leadership, the spirit and the vision. To say the least I’m excited about 2009.

I want to be fully engaged in this Renaissance. My thoughts shift to who I need to become to experience that magic. I think about what I can do to make a difference in the world. I think about those inner qualities that I need to work on, so that I can become the person I want to be. We keep evolving.
it is
The beginning of the year has a unique quality to it. We have momentum. We try to leverage that momentum in different ways. The traditionalists use New Year resolutions to help them achieve what it is that they want in the beginning of the year. They declare, “ I’ll lose ten or twenty pounds.” Maybe you have a different number. Then they declare that they will give up something- it might be drinking or smoking or eating dairy or something else. They’ll resolve to exercise three times per week and take a new class. It works for a while, but only for a while.

Many spiritual teachers encourage us to work with intentions, which can have many meanings. Last year at an intentions workshop we explored what our intentions were for the upcoming year in the various phases of our life. We looked deeper into what it was that we were really committed to and were asked to complete the following sentence: “My deepest intent” is to………… For me the words just flowed out effortlessly. “My deepest intent is to inspire others to believe in themselves.” In many ways I saw my deepest intent in alignment with my life purpose. I still do. As I begin this year I can think of nothing more that I would like for others than to believe in themselves. The work we do keeps evolving. We keep refining what we are here to do. Last years intention has evolved into what it is currently, which is to awaken in others the knowing that what’s possible in their life, materially, spiritually and emotionally is greater than they can imagine.
Now this knowing doesn’t just mean that you can wave a magic wand and your life will be different. It’s a process that needs nurturing and cultivating. If you are patient, the magic will come. It just might show up in a different context than you originally thought. But to get there you have to do the inner work. There are no shortcuts. The inner work involves your commitment to a spiritual practice. It might take a certain level of discipline initially, but over time it becomes a way of life. Once this shift happens, you look forward to your practice. Over time you experience a deeper level of inner peace. From this place of stillness, you become aware of possibilities that you never knew existed.

There is one other piece that I have found quite helpful in doing the work. Goals can be a powerful ally in transforming your life. Yet many people have an aversion to working with them or choose modest goals so that they avoid disappointment. We all have been disappointed by life at times and it hurts. fe in the pastReaching your goal is not as important as who you become in the process. Goals are not an end- all but a beginning. no matter whate we are talking about They create a focus so that in the process you become more than who you are now. realIf your goal is to have a great relationship, you have to first become a more evolved. If your goal is to become a successful entrepreneur, you need to first become more adventurous, more confident and more resourceful.

You don’t have to make a choice between working with intention or working with goals. They work perfectly together like a great marriage. Intention is the feminine aspect and goals are the masculine.
There is a great opportunity awaiting you. What you don’t want to do is to sit back and watch it go by. It’s time to get involved and take that next step.

I love Marianne Williamson’s perspective:

“Our deepest fFear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to manifest the glory that is within us.
As we let our light shine
We unconsciously give other people
Permission to do the same.”

I enjoy sharing the journey with you. We keep learning all of the time. Make it fun. Laugh a little bit more than yesterday and

Journey On

Mark

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational way. http://www.inspirepossibility.com

In the life coaching or executive coaching circles, there’s always someone pontificating on the Law of Attraction. This morning I got an email…actually it was a short video. So the theory goes- our dominant thoughts determine our reality. What we focus on expands. if you want a great relationship, focus on being in the great relationship now and experience it emotionally. If you want more success in your business, focus on what’s it like to be successful. See it, feel it and believe it.

All of the writers, say do 3 things. Ask for what you want, Believe(act as if it’s already happened) and be willing to Receive.

As to my own experience, I have found that when I’ve focused on what I’ve wanted that eventually it happened. Finding my soulmate was like that. Success in my law practice was like that and now success in my career as a coach. I do have to admit, it took longer than I thought. So along the way I had plenty of time to practice patience.

But..the critics have their opinion too. For example, on the way home, you get hit by a drunk driver. Does that mean that you created the drunk driver? If you take the viewpoint that you create your reality, then you would have to say yes. And let’s say you have a serious illness. Did you create this illness? So not only are you sick, you feel guilty about being sick.

Let’s try to make sense it. I do believe that our thoughts do create our reality. They do determine what we focus on. From own experience it’s worked. But I also know that there are some things that are out of my control. I can’t control that drunk driver. I can’t control that hurricane.

So I do believe that to a large extent we do attract to us, our reality. But there are forces greater than we can comprehend that are also at work here. We don’t know exactly know what those forces are and how and when they will show up.

As I have said on many occasions, life is a great mystery. To think that there was one universal principle that was true no matter what, makes it an absolute factor in our existence. I like to think that there’s more to learn. I look forward to being surprised and yet I can still believe that if I focus on what I want, that it will happen. It makes me feel like I have a plan and I’m going in the right direction.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational way. http://www.inspirepossibility.com

I’m a dog lover. And the last year has been the first as an adult that I haven’t had a dog. It’s also a time as my kids leave home that I want to have the flexibility to travel more. It’s a decision that I made. Like many decisions that we make there are pros and cons.

Since then I have been graced by two cats that make the rounds on our property. There’s a lot of wildlife on our property and Whitey, a mysterious white cat, is always lurking, tracking the birds that are feeding. Although nothing happens, Whitey soon disappears and a few days later, he disappears. Whitey, is kind of a neighborhood cat as chooses who he wants to hang out with. Once in a while, Whitey likes affection and to a limited extent snuggles up to you.

Now on the other hand, a yellow striped cat that I call Tiger is a sweetheart. She’s affectionate, and purrs before you even touch her.
I look forward to her making the rounds. There have been occasions when it was warmer and our house was more open, that Tiger would be inside our house. Even though, Tiger has no collar, I know she belongs to someone.

Tiger reminds me of that unconditional love that we all have inside of us that is waiting to be expressed. That’s what animals do. They allow us to express a part of ourselves that too often we keep buried.

The holidays are also an opportunity to express that love that we so often keep hidden. Take the time to call an old friend and let them know how special they are. So often we don’t know how much we make a difference in someone’s life. Making that call will make that difference.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational way. http://www.inspirepossibility.com

We are on the happiness cycle. I recently wrote that I read in the newspaper that Happiness is Contagious. That’s good news for all of us who spend a lot of time on our personal development. By finding happiness inside ourselves we affect others.

Apparently the country of Bhutan has been aware of this for quite some time. We have been told that money can’t buy happiness but in the country of Bhutan that observation is the basis of government policy. Bhutan measures its progress not by GDP which is a measure of economic health and development by most nations but by GNH, or gross national happiness.

Gross national happiness is built on four pillars: fair and sustainable economic and social development, protection and promotion of cultural values, environmental conservation and good government.

In practice, that means any economic development project in the country is considered progress only if it does not dramatically widen the income gap between rich and poor, pollute the country’s rivers, sicken its people or line a government official’s pocket.

“Gross national happiness is not about happiness,” said Kinley Dorji, managing director of Kuensel, Bhutan’s national newspaper.

“As Buddhists, we believe happiness is an individual pursuit, gained from looking inside rather than outside. Gross national happiness is a mandate of the state to create an environment where citizens can pursue happiness.”

Has Bhutan achieved its goals? It has the highest per capita income in South Asia, with most of its money derived from sales of clean hydroelectric power to neighboring India and from luring high-end exclusivity-seeking tourists, who must spend at least $200 a day while visiting the country.

Bhutan’s rushing glacier-melt rivers are surprisingly clean and its pine, oak and hemlock forests largely intact.

Ancient traditional sports such as archery still are a passion, and more than 90% of Bhutanese have access to free health care and education.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational way. http://www.inspirepossibility.com

Quite often I go on newspaper cleanse…what I mean by that is that I don’t read them for awhile. But like many of us I got back in the habit with all of the election stuff and yes following my teams.

So today I was in the habit and for a change on the front page was some exciting news. In bold print was the title…Happiness is contagious which was the conclusion of a study by Harvard researchers just published in the British Medical Journal. So often when we wonder how we can make a difference and we feel guilty if we are just working on ourselves, we now know that it does make a difference. Making ourselves more positive and upbeat affects others. Making a difference begins with ourselves.

What’s also exciting is that an article of this nature made the front page of a major newspaper. Yes things are changing.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational way. http://www.inspirepossibility.com

When you are in the process of gathering your tribe, which eventually becomes your natural way of living, thoseamazing juicy moments occur quite frequently. Yesterday I wrote about Louise and her sister. That was later on in the evening. But it was how it began that was also profound.

This was the two Bev’s second annual Loveland holiday party. As we were sitted in a circle Bev read a poem that struck a chord in me and made me say to myself that I wanted a copy. The next day she faxed it to me. So here it is. It’s a reminder to slow down and get your priorities straight.

Take time to Think
It is the source of all power.

Take time to play
It is the source of perpetual youth.

Take time to Read
It is the fountain of wisdom

Take time to Pray
It is the greatest power on earth.

That time to love and be loved
It is a God given gift.

Take time to be Friendly
It is the road to happiness.

Take time to Laugh
It is the music of the soul.

Take time to Give
It is too short a day to be selfish.

Take time to Work
It is the price of success.

Take time to do Charity
It is the key to heaven.

JOURNEY ON

MARK
eJOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational way. http://www.inspirepossibility.com

There are those moments when the small world connection that you have just experienced reminds you that we are all connected. The frequency of these meetings keeps increasing. Syncronicity becomes the norm rather than the exception

For a long time now, I have thought of the ever expanding synchronicity in my life as a gathering of my tribe. I have often shared this belief with others but now it makes even greater sense. And that’s what the discussion was with my friend Marcus at the coffee shop.

I didn’t have wait long to put that theory into practice. By what we do and say, we attract to us our tribe, so that’s why it’s important to become clear as to what has meaning for us. That evening, I went to a holiday party that the two Bevs gave quite similar to last years. We went around the room sharing what we were grateful in our life and what moved us. It was a poem that Louise wrote and shared that impelled me to engage in a conversation with her later in the evening. She gave me a copy of her poem and I noticed her name on the bottom of the page where the copyright notice was. As with Louise most everyone in the room shared the same values. My search for what had meaning for me began over 35 years ago. In our conversation Louise and I discovered that when I first began my search that I had briefly dated Louise’s sister. Pretty amazing!! Of all the people in the room she was the one that I gravitated toward. And then the story. It was her speaking from her heart and sharing with the rest of us her deepest longings that led to her reconnecting with one of her tribe, me. Quite often we avoid speaking from our heart and sharing what has meaning. Instead we generate a water-downed version of what is important to us. People don’t get a chance to get who we are. When that occurs, it’s difficult for our tribe to find us.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational way. http://www.inspirepossibility.com

When you reflect upon your life you realize that you have experienced various cycles. There were those days when you struggled and there were those days when everything seemed to flow. And of course those days when nothing seemed to happen.

There is a natural rhythm of life that when we tune into it, our life seems to flow. Perhaps that’s what I’m feeling now. As winter approaches and the days becoming shorter, I am becoming more peaceful and quiet. In fact I’m so quiet that I don’t feel like doing much of anything. Instead of getting up early to meditate, I’m staying in bed and sleeping more.

I’m not motivated to take action and make things happen. I’m winding down from the years work. I can’t say I’ve been harried during the year, but I am looking forward to this year coming to completion. Tomorrow it’s December. So I’m kickin back and taking it easy.

One thing that is different is that I’m going with it. I’m not fighting it-i’m actually able to enjoy the lazies. And isn’t that what this season is all about-a time for reflection and going inward.

So what more can I say? Enjoy the lazies…make it part of your cycle. You are tuning into nature’s greater intelligence.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

AJOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational way. http://www.inspirepossibility.com