My very first newsletter was written seven years ago. I wrote about Attitude and how important it is. In fact it’s more than important it’s everything. I think we agree on this principle but what’s more confusing is what we can do to change our attitude. I didn’t address this back then. So I’ve had many years to come up with a program that will help you change your moods. Let’s say for example that you’re in a bad mood and don’t feel like doing anything. How do you get out of your funk? Here are some ideas that help me from time to time.

#1. When you notice that you have a lousy attitude, cop to it. You can’t change it unless you are aware of it.

#2. Ask yourself what’s going on! Is there something that you are afraid of or are not looking forward to. Be honest-why are you bummed out.

#3. Change your perspective by reframing what’s going on. Usually I find that empowering questions goes a long way. Let’s say it’s an event that I don’t want to go to. I might ask myself the following question: I wonder who I’m going to meet or I wonder what the highlight of the evening will be. There is a good discussion of this on my website in the article…. Start your Day on your Terms.

#4. After you have exhausted the mental stuff, then woodshed. Look at the tools you can use. For example exercise. When I get in one of those moods I’m not exercising. When you are exercising it’s difficult to remain in a funk. For example dancing. If I’m in a funk and I go dancing, I’m not going to think about what’s bothering me.

#5.What about your diet? Usually sugar and caffeine are the culprits. Too much meat will suppress your energy.

#6. Extra credit. When I was in law school, I went to a workshop on fasting given by a nurse. Ever since I have made fasting part of my program. At least once per year I’ll fast and adopt the Stanley Burroughs master cleanse. This definitely changes my mood and gets me feeling great. The first few days are a struggle but as you progress you will feel great. It’s never failed. If you’ve never fasted before, make sure you get appropriate support.

#7. Music is a great mood changer. Almost instantly it gets me going…it’s hard to be down when you’re tapping your foot and singing.

#8. Take a walk on the beach or in nature. And if you have time, take a trip. These are just a few of the things that have worked for me in the past. Hopefully I keep learning.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow,JD, is an Executive and Life Coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former successful trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com

My journey of the last eight years has led to many conversations some of which have been inspiring and others a little disconcerting. There is a voice of concern and resignation that I have been repeatedly hearing that seems to be louder than the voice of hope. Many are concerned about the global and planetary challenges that we all face. At the heart of these challenges is an uncertain future. During an election year these concerns are exacerbated.
The huge media juggernaut bombards us with information most of which is negative. Within seconds we become aware of events and tragedies that have occurred somewhere in the world. It’s difficult to tune it out. This negativity, which is constantly reinforced, colors how we perceive our personal reality and the challenges that we experience in day-to-day living. We wonder how we can find fulfillment on a personal level when there is so much suffering and uncertainty in the world.
Lately I have been hearing the voice of those who are in the camp of the pessimists. They’ll rattle off the war, the economy, the environment and our dwindling resources as justifications for their feeling the way they do. When one tends to focus on what’s wrong and what isn’t working they will always find a litany of reasons to justify their perspective.
I am in the camp of the optimists. No matter what is happening in my life or in the world I believe that there will be a better day. In fact I don’t think we have a choice but to be optimistic. This is so even when there is so much suffering in the world.

I think back to the sixties. Not only did our country seem stuck in a senseless war, Vietnam, our country was hopelessly polarized. There seemed to be little hope. What made matters worse was that we were on a collision course in the bigger cold war with the Soviet Union. Numerous pundits and leading edge periodicals predicted a nuclear holocaust with the Soviet Union.

I remained optimistic. This is what I wrote in a poem back then.

“Should there be a day when the visionaries of peace stop loving, then the prophets of doom will have their day of gloom.”

I have come to the conclusion that feeling bad or hopeless doesn’t help things. Remaining optimistic does. When you are optimistic you have hope and are able to see possibilities that you couldn’t see before.

It’s been estimated by researchers that we have over sixty thousand thoughts in a day, some of which are positive and some negative. The question is which one you focus on. There’s a Native American Story, which I’ve told before, that reminds me of this point.

A grandfather is discussing with his grandson a tragedy that just occurred.
The grandfather says, “ I feel like I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One is an angry vengeful one and the other is a peaceful loving one.”
The grandson then asks,” Which one is going to win?”
The grandfather replies, “The one I feed.”

I recently viewed Al Gore’s latest talk on climate change which he presented at the TED Conference. I found another voice of optimism. While he layed out the disturbing environmental challenges before us and the crisis in democracy that we faced, he suggested that we reframe the challenge by seeing the challenge as one that motivates us to action. He urged one to reach inside of themselves to tap into a greatness that they never knew was possible. He went on to ask, “How many generations before us have had the opportunity to rise to a challenge that is worthy of our best efforts-a challenge that can pull from us more than we thought we could do?”

Imagine approaching your whole life in this way. What will the challenges be in the future that are worthy of your best efforts? Think of the challenges along the way that have helped you get to this point in your life; the challenges that have inspired you to surpass what you thought was possible.

I am sure you have experienced those moments when you have felt as if things weren’t happening fast enough-those moments when you doubted whether you were making a difference.

You might have even felt that things were hopeless or that you weren’t good enough. There’s that voice again. There’s always that voice-that voice of doubt- that limits what you think is possible in your life.

I know that voice well. Even when you are optimistic that voice creeps in and before you know it starts to take over. It’s powerful and has been reinforced by a lifetime of negative conditioning. Here’s what I do to try to become free of it. As soon as I notice that I am thinking negatively I catch myself by talking to that voice. In coaching we refer to that voice as our “gremlin.” I have even given my gremlin the name of Ralph. By talking to my gremlin I am able to break the seductive pattern that it has over me.

The sooner I am able to recognize Ralph, the sooner I can break the hypnotic spell that he has over me. I remind myself that this voice has nothing to do with what’s so. Once I break the spell I allow myself to think of other perspectives that empower me. In this way I reframe what I initially considered a problem into an opportunity.

I don’t think we can get enough inspiration in our life. We have to make a conscious effort to make this an integral part of our lives. When you are living an inspired life, its much easier to remain optimistic and to see the possibilities that surround you. You might even pick up the phone and call an old friend and engage in an inspiring conversation. Perhaps you’ll make time to read an inspiring book. And then there is that smile that goes a long way. Slow down, embrace the moment and take time to “smell the roses.”

Thank you for sharing Letters on Life with those in your circle. I love to hear from you. Let me know what’s going with you.

Journey On

Mark

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow,JD, is an Executive and Life Coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former successful trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com

So what’s going on? What do you want to accomplish? What would you really like to happen? What changes would you have to make? When are you going to start to make these changes? I know I’ve asked a lot of questions. Here’s why. Questions are powerful and are probably the most effective way to shift your focus. That is shifting your focus from what isn’t working to what you want.

In some manner we are always asking questions, although we might not be aware of what they are. For example. If you are thinking about lack and limitation, ask yourself what questions you are asking yourself. Usually you aren’t aware of what they are. If you have had a few disappointments in business you might be asking yourself how can things get worse….or what is the next thing that can go wrong. When you are in a downward spiral create empowering questions to change the spiral. For example again using the few disappointments scenario an empowering question might be: I wonder who my next client will be or what my next project will be? How does it get better than this?

Empowering questions can also create a positive expectation. If I’m going to an event, I’ll think about who I’m going to meet and how interesting they will be.

How you think about your life determines your life because it is a fundamental law of the universe that what you focus on expands. CHANGE YOUR THINKING CHANGE YOUR LIFE.THERE’S NO BETTER TIME THAN NOW. There will always be something that holds you back; an excuse to put your life on hold.

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow,JD, is an Executive and Life Coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former successful trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com

As an executive and life coach it’s not unusual to hear about the same concerns from several different people.

Usually these concerns are about the future. Will I have a job next year is a common concern. So is will my business continue to grow? What happens frequently is that this concern affects how one lives today in two different ways.

The first is that people tend to conserve more and live closer to the vest. This is not necessarily a bad thing but it can be if you shut down and use it as an excuse not to live today fully.

The other is that their concern about the future tempers their experience of today. Instead of enjoying today they think about tomorrow. This gets in the way of their experience of the “now.”

For most people the future represents the unknown. We want certainty in an ever-changing world. Impossible! What has to happen is that we need to change our relationship to the unknown.

Think of the unknown as your friend. Instead of being anxious, be curious. When you do that you allow more room for possibilities. You might want to think about the many ways in which your business can grow. You might also wonder about how great your next relationship is going to be and what you’ll learn from that person. Instead of thinking that a particular relationship won’t develop think about the many ways it will develop. Your imagination is useful in creating the picture of the life you want. After all don’t we use our imagination when we worry. So here we use in a more constructive way.

The other thing you can do is to learn to be more in the moment. Be fully present. Eckart Tolle’s book “Power of Now,” is a great work that guides you in this endeavor. Meditation and practicing non-judgment are two things you can do to help you embrace this state of mind.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

THERE’S NO BETTER TIME THAN NOW. There will always be something that holds you back; an excuse to put your life on hold. JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow,JD, is an Executive and Life Coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former successful trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com

When I’m on Kauai I usually go to a yoga class 4-5 times per week and I feel great. Upon returning to Marin I’m not as committed…my excuse being that there’s not a morning class that is at the right time.

I no longer have that excuse. There is an early morning class, M-W-F, that i have been going to. I’m feeling good. It’s certainly enough to keep my body out of pain and stiffness.

And there are others who don’t have a yoga practice, but go to the gym. They go just enough to get in the minimum amount of cardio and perhaps some stretching and or lifting.

We do the minimum to maintain. We justify it by reflecting upon articles by the American Heart Association that state that the minimal amount of exercise required for health is the same amount that we exercise.

When we have a health concern we give our body more attention. And then we go back to our maintenance program doing enough to get by.

Last night I didn’t feel like sleeping and my body felt like it wanted to be stretched. I gently eased into a few different yoga postures.

I had a thought. It feels good when we find our edge and go beyond. Learning about our body and its possibilities is a great to discover what our edge is. It’s the same edge that we experience in the rest of our lives. Where do we stop? What stops us?

Hopefully we experience a state that is beyond doing enough. That state is experienced when we want to practice yoga and go to the gym, not because we want to be out of pain, but because it feels good. Our body rather than being a source of stiffness and discomfort becomes a source of pleasure.

We want to get in good shape because it’s when we feel our best, rather than exercising to maintain our tone and keep the stiffness away.

What are you waiting for?

JOURNEY ON

MARK

THERE’S NO BETTER TIME THAN NOW. There will always be something that holds you back; an excuse to put your life on hold. JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow,JD, is an Executive and Life Coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former successful trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com

“I don’t like my job, I need to find something different, my client said in yesterday’s life coaching session. Whether it’s in an executive coaching or life coaching session I find that in many ways the people I work with are facing the same challenge. They are dissatisfied with what they are doing.

In their minds there are a myriad of reasons for feeling this way. It might be because of a conflict within the organization, or it might be because they feel unappreciated. Regardless, job dissatisfaction is high.

Even those who are running their own businesses experience conflict within the organization. They have an additional challenge which is growing their business and getting new business. Whatever your situation you have to change your thinking.

Their is never going to be a business without its share of challenges. Wishing it was different isn’t going to change anything.

Here is what I find is helpful. Know that your career is going to have its share of ups and downs. If you are employed you have more power than you realize. You have the power to make a change. You are not tied down to the business or enterprise. When you get plugged in thinking that this is your only option and it’s forever things really seem dreary.

Be glad you have a job and know it isn’t forever. Ask yourself if you really think you’ll be there in two years. There’s no magic number. It could even be one year or five years.

Once you break it down to a finite period of time, then it doesn’t seem hopeless. And after all, you are working to pay your bills and get ahead a little bit. If it turns out that you are also getting satisfaction and fulfillment then that’s a double win.

Once you know that it’s just for a finite period of time, you can take your power back. It’s important to have a life outside of work. If works your only game, then you have no other way of validating yourself. For example….let’s say that you love to go dancing and dance classes empower you. You become excited. But it costs money to take the classes. The job is a means to an end. When we try to make the job the whole thing-the end result- we set ourselves up for disappointment.

If you are running a business then you are faced with a different set of challenges. That’s always been my path.Yes you do think about ways to grow your business and at times it’s challenging, but you have the potential to have more freedom. That’s been my reality. By always having my own business I get to come and go as I want. But I know many business owners who feel trapped and feel they can’t leave. It’s making a decision as to what’s possible. And it might just be more than you realize.

So it’s up to you. Feel grateful for what you have now. It changes and prepares you for the next step.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

THERE’S NO BETTER TIME THAN NOW. There will always be something that holds you back; an excuse to put your life on hold. JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow,JD, is an Executive and Life Coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former successful trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com

In a life-coaching session recently I noticed that my client was using the word “overwhelm’ frequently. This was the first time that we had talked. I was curious as to what she meant when she used this word.

We all have an idea of what it means. And because we do the word has tremendous power.

By probing somewhat, we established that she used the word overwhelm interchangeably for what she described as a heightened level of anxiety.

I also asked her to describe her physical body sensations. After doing so she realized that she could describe these same bodily sensations in other ways. While overwhelm was certainly one possibility so was “excitement.” So was “curiousity.”

We agreed that for the next week she wouldn’t use the word “overwhelm.” There are certainly more empowering words that she could use. Once she begins to make them a part of her regular vocabularly, then a myriad of possibilities begins to show up.

To change the way you see life and to change your attitude change your language. Be curious as to the words you use that disempower you. Then begin to replace them with words and phrases that empower you.

What are some of the words that you use that seem to disempower you? What are some better choices?

Journey On

Mark

THERE’S NO BETTER TIME THAN NOW. There will always be something that holds you back; an excuse to put your life on hold. JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow,JD, is an Executive and Life Coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former successful trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com

In a life coaching session this morning, my client said that he had a sense of forboding. After exploring what was behind this feeling it was discovered that he felt uncertain about almost everything in his life.

Even the most enjoyable aspects of his life seemed challenging. Lately I have across others who shared his same sentiment.

What has happened is that they have become focused on the future. When they project what they see happening in the world today into the future and into their own life they get discouraged. Living and worrying about the future makes it difficult to live and enjoy the now.

We know from our work together and the work we’ve done on our own that being in the now is the key to one’s living a fulfilling life.

So what can you do to be more in the moment? Some of these suggestions I am sure you already know. But it’s good to hear them again.

Meditation….a physical discipline….exercise. Any activity that engages you. If you have too much time on your hands, you’ll be thinking about other things…anything to engage your mind. Exercise is a biggie. You just got to work it in.

Come back to your spiritual practice and if you already are committed, then deepen your commitment.

From this perspective it’s more of a natural progression to be optimistic about the future.

As you change how you think about your life, your life changes. I don’t mean to be mystical. But that’s the way it works.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

THERE’S NO BETTER TIME THAN NOW. There will always be something that holds you back; an excuse to put your life on hold. JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow,JD, is an Executive and Life Coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former successful trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com

It was one of those days….I needed to get a copy of my birth certificate….so I made the trek to the city…got there early and had to wait in line ….not too long. I asked the guy in front of me if I could look at his paper ane he said no. That hasn’t happened for a long time. And then he continued to almost secretly read it….

I got it within a half hour and now I needed to go to DMV to get a new license plate. Again I didn’t have to wait too long….by 9:45 I was done and time to reward myself. Breakfast at the Half Day,my favorite place…..Now I’m home .. checked my email….and catching up on my writing.

NOW to the bank and post office. The post office is its own world. There never seems to be enough people working. Anyway my errands are done. Time to reward myself. Later on I plan to take a bike ride up on the mountain. No coaching today….taking a break. I’m into this writing thing…..

I’m listening to a compilation of Instrumental Inspirations and I can feel a rhythm to my thinking and my typing. I can feel my body moving to the chord changes and the rhythm. The melodies have a way of taking over my spirit. Yea! As I allow the music to envelop me I have access to a whole new range of sensations and feelings. That’s what music does at times is help us tune into forgotten aspects of our being. This CD is all new and so far I like all of it. That’s about it for now.

Journey On

Mark
THERE’S NO BETTER TIME THAN NOW. There will always be something that holds you back; an excuse to put your life on hold. JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow,JD, is an Executive and Life Coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former successful trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com

There’s nothing like old friends. There’s a synchronicity. You know each other in a way that no one else does. You’ve shared experiences at a time in your life when your life was much different. When I read Jim’s email that he and his wife, Fern, would be in town, I was excited. Jim and I were young lawyers in Marin many years ago searching to find our way. Jim suggested that we meet at Green’s, the vegetarian restaurant, run by the SF Zen Center.

As Annie and I drove over the Golden Gate Bridge on the way to the restaurant I felt a sense of freedom as I noticed the cyclists and walkers enjoying themselves. I was reminded of some of the wilderness hikes that Jim and I went on many years ago when our lives were much simpler. I casually remarked to Annie that I couldn’t believe that I had never walked across the bridge. “Someday I am going to do that,” I declared.

Our plan was to have a leisurely lunch before returning to Marin. As we got up to leave, Jim asked me for a favor. He wanted to know if on our return to Marin we could drop them off at the Vista Point on the Marin side of the bridge so that they could walk back.

Not only did we drop them off, we walked most of the way with them before turning back and heading home.

My relationship with Jim has been cultivated over many years. And there have been many other special relationships cultivated over the course of time. But as we know, nothing seems to stay the same.

In our mobile society relationships are always changing. Jim hasn’t been the only friend who has moved away. Think about how many of us have moved away from the place where we grew up.

Then there are those relationships that for some reason just don’t work out. You play it out until it’s time to move on. In other relationships a common need or interest, which bound you at one time, is no longer enough. Then there is the inevitable, which is, that a few good friends will have passed on. As my good friend Sylvi just said to me, “Friends come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.”

It’s a basic need that we want to feel connected to others. This is true whether it’s at home, in the work place or in our day-to-day experience of life. Although we want it, we don’t necessarily know how to create it in our life especially when we don’t have that history or story to share.

The good news is that we have an awareness and set of skills that we didn’t possess many years ago. Connecting is not a matter of time. It happens in an instant when you connect with your whole being rather than just your intellect. I am sure you have had the experience of meeting someone and it seemed as if you had always known them. That can occur more frequently.

Once you have an intention to create more conection in your life, a shift happens. The question then becomes, as it is with many people that I work with in coaching, is what can I do to create more connection in my life?

Connection begins with you. It’s connecting with your higher power. It’s discovering your authentic self. Meditation is the pathway that I have chosen to this connection.

Then by expressing gratitude for the connection that is already in your life, you see yourself in a new way; a way that acknowledges a deeper truth, which is that it’s your innate nature to be connected. As your day progresses think of yourself as a connected being wondering about who you will be connecting with next. You will be amazed as to what happens.

I’m not saying you’ll connect with everyone. But there is a myth about connection that needs to be dispelled. Connecting with someone doesn’t take any more time, but does requires you to be more mindful of the present moment. It’s being curious about the other person and suspending judgment as to who you think they are.

Connection is a path and like most paths, there are going to be obstacles and challenges. You need to become aware of what these are before you can overcome them. The biggest obstacle and challenge for many of us is that we have not learned to be “active listeners.” Think about our “normal” conversations. Quite often it’s just an exchange of information. Rather than being in the present, we think about how to respond to what is being said. Before we know it we are thinking about something that happened to us many years ago that was triggered by what was said in the conversation. No wonder we never get who the other person is.

Another challenge is that we are invested in having to be right. We always try to get in the last word. Tell the truth-does that tendency sound familiar? Being right and connecting don’t go together! No matter how much work we have done on ourselves, we still have a little bit of the “being right’ in us.

It’s a basic belief of mine that connection can be cultivated. Before I got into coaching I was a decent connector when I wanted to be, but I don’t think it was one of my strenghts. That changed during my first coaching relationship. Pat gave me a whole new way to look at connection that has been instrumental in my having the awareness that I do now. When having a conversation with a prospective client, think about connecting with that person first,” he would often say. “And if you make the connection, then it’s a win-win situation for both of you without anything else needing to be said.”

The ability to connect with others opens up a whole new world. It transcends stereotypes and judgments, which creates fertile ground for new dialogue. A dialogue not constrained by history, but open to common ground for a consciousness of cooperation and togethernress. It’s up to us to create the world we envision. Let us join as one. Please feel free to share this message with those in your circle. This was also published as part of my Letters on Life series.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

THERE’S NO BETTER TIME THAN NOW. There will always be something that holds you back; an excuse to put your life on hold. JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow,JD, is an Executive and Life Coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former successful trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com