inspiration

You are the Creator of your Life

Thursday, March 13th, 2014

Most of us from time to time overreact to a situation; it could be an interaction with another, or a transaction going south on us. We lose sight of where we were going and what we wanted to accomplish. Our challenge is to stay focused on our intention and not get sidetracked by the obstacles and challenges that get in the way. The obstacles and disappointments are there to challenge us. They make us better.

I have written and said on several occasions that how you start your day sets the tone for the day. If you start your day in a hurry, most likely you will be in a hurry all day long. If you start your day in a calm manner, most likely you will keep that calm and you will be better able to weather the negativity that comes up during the day. You will be more flexible and not overreact to the events that don’t work out the way you had anticipated. More important, as you begin your day, become clear as to how you want your day to be. And stay curious; imagine your day turning out better than you expected.

When you keep in mind what your intention is for the day, the obstacles and challenges that come up during the day, don’t throw you for a loop. Over time, you notice that you stop making excuses. You except what happened, stop blaming the other person and move on. You are the creator of your life, not the victim.

May you be inspired by the journey,

Have fun

Mark

Please join me with my cohost Ralph Marston on the Journey On radio show. blogtalkradio.com/journeyon

Mark Susnow, is an executive-life coach and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. In his prior career, he was covered by the NY Times, Boston Globe, and Rolling Stone Magazine. He is the author of Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

Seeds of Possibilities

Wednesday, March 5th, 2014

Nature has its many mysteries. When we look deeply there is always a gift. Not only does nature nurture us, it reminds us of the cyclical nature of life. It also reminds us how unpredictable life can be.

After a flurry of fresh snow, we have a sense of awe and transcendence as the sun melts the snow that is clinging to the trees. We feel a lightness of being as we look around and breathe in the fresh air. But it’s not always that way. Many of us have been in the midst of a violent storm that we thought would never end.

However with many of the personal challenges that we face in our lives we forget this lesson. At times these challenges overwhelm us, and that is all we see. We lose sight of what we want to create.

Then there is wonderful Spring. Spring, with its sense of optimism and hope, is a time of new beginnings. We ready ourselves for the spring ritual of planting our gardens. Although we don’t totally understand the process, we know for certain there’s an intelligence in nature’s way of doing things. But we need to do our part.

We prepare the soil for planting by first pulling out the weeds, which are the limiting beliefs that clutter our minds. Then we turn the soil and mix in compost and fertilizer before spreading the seeds, which are possibilities in the gardens of our subconscious mind. We don’t know how many of these seeds, or which ones, will emerge from the darkness to the light. But we have faith that if we tend to our garden, some seeds will grow.

We also know from our work together that our intentions determine what we harvest. Not only do these intentions provide food for the body, they provide food for the soul.

From the darkness there is a miraculous process that gives birth to creation.

That’s the way it was for each of us. We emerged from the darkness of the womb to the light of the day. As we continue on our journey, with the proper nurturing, that light becomes brighter.

There are two themes that keep emerging in this luminosity. Happiness is a choice that is not dependent on our circumstances.

There might be events and circumstances in our life that we wish were different. By courageously facing this dissatisfaction, we begin shifting to the Positive Side of Change. Once this occurs, the flame inside of us begins to burn brightly again.
Whatever is happening in our lives, especially the challenges, is the precise location of our evolutionary edge. Yet we all fear change and waste energy trying to avoid or control it. We stay stuck in unfulfilling careers or relationships rather than enter the unknown territory that lies ahead.

Each of us has an Inner GPS of Change that empowers us to skillfully navigate the changing currents of life’s challenges and to consistently recognize opportunities for success and fulfillment that are all around us.

The second theme is that our ability to experience joy and love keeps expanding. Here’s why. We’ve been through more. We’ve faced more adversity. We’ve been stretched. We all know that there are things in the world that are horrific and tragic. Some of us have personally experienced some of these events. No one is immune from this pain-it’s part of being human.

As a result our hearts are more open, and we’re able to experience more joy, and to love more deeply. We’re gentler with ourselves and have learned to accept the things about ourselves that we can’t change. We’ve learned to accept the imperfections in life.

By focusing on what gives us joy, rather than on the imperfections, we learn to smile in the midst of the storm. We know we’ll get through it. We’ve been there before. We focus on what’s right about our life. We smile for no reason. We stop asking “why.” We’ve made the choice. Keep making that choice. Keep spreading the seeds.

Think of this spring as a time of possibility. As spring unfolds it is my hope that the seeds you plant renew your sense of hope and optimism.

There is no better place to begin spreading those seeds than with those you love and care about. Please feel free to share this message with them. Let me know what’s happening in your life.

May you be inspired by the journey,

Have fun

Mark

Please join me with my cohost Ralph Marston on the Journey On radio show. blogtalkradio.com/journeyon

Mark Susnow, is an executive-life coach and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. In his prior career, he was covered by the NY Times, Boston Globe, and Rolling Stone Magazine. He is the author of Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

The Path of Relationship

Thursday, February 6th, 2014

The deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated.
William James

We look to relationships to satisfy this craving. It’s our natural state to be loving. Unfortunately with the busyness of our lives we forget what that natural state is. There is nothing better than a great relationship. You feel that you belong. You feel empowered. You feel an incredible aliveness. But ultimately we have to learn to have a great relationship with ourselves. When we do, it enriches everyone with whom we meet.

We live in a relational world. At a fundamental level what we all want is to deeply connect with others, but we’re not sure how to do that. Successful relationships transform our families, schools, institutions, governments and the world we live in.

When you connect with your heart, body and soul, connection occurs in an instant. Connection begins with you, by your awakening to your true nature as a spiritual being having a physical experience. It’s “a knowing” that you are connected to a power greater than you. Connection is a path and like most paths, there will be challenges along the way.

The good news is that connection can be cultivated. Before I embarked upon my coaching path I was a decent connector when I wanted to be, but I didn’t consider it one of my strengths. This has changed over the years.

My first coach gave me a new way to look at connection, which has been instrumental in my cultivating the awareness that I have now. From that moment on, I became increasingly aware of how much I liked to connect with others.

The ability to connect with others opens up a whole new world. Connection transcends stereotypes and judgments, creating fertile ground for a new dialogue, a dialogue not
constrained by history, but open to common ground for a consciousness of possibility. By connecting, you make the ultimate gift to yourself and to others. It is when we give of
ourselves that we receive the ultimate joy.

Our bigger challenge is to receive from others. Many of us find it difficult to be supported and to let others do things for us. This might seem like somewhat of a paradox, but when we give to others we remain in control. It’s only in the act of receiving that we give up control and allow ourselves to be vulnerable. It is in that moment when we feel the most connected to others. By receiving the gift of another, we are making the ultimate gift to them. Until we allow ourselves to receive this gift, we won’t be able to experience the depth and intimacy that we are seeking.

Let me share with you a few strategies that I have found effective in cultivating more connection in my life. After meditation, I express gratitude for the gift of connection that I have with others. Perhaps in the beginning of this practice I didn’t feel or believe it totally. But over time I’ve noticed that my ability to connect has become a strength. I’m certainly more aware of the connections that I do have.

Being curious is invaluable. In some ways, I’ve transformed being curious into a fun game. Whenever I go to a gathering, I’m curious with whom I’ll connect With so many of us asking the same questions, I’m curious about what I might learn when I connect with them. In the last few years I’ve expanded upon this practice. Before I left for a recent trip for Kauai, I wondered about with whom I would have the best connection. This set the tone and kept me curious during the whole trip. The synchronicity was amazing. We reach a time in our life, when those remarkable meetings seem to occur more often. Synchronicity then becomes the norm, rather than the infrequent occurrence.

Each time that I experience one of those chance encounters that provides a missing piece to the puzzle, there is a thought that deeply resonates within me. It makes greater sense to me now than it ever did. As we continue to evolve, we attract to us our tribe of kindred souls.

We are the source of the connection that we crave, which is fueled by our ability to come from the deep place of love within. Unfortunately too many of us are looking to find love outside of ourselves-it’s an inside job that has its own language.

The language of love is the most powerful language on the planet. In the English language, some of our deepest feelings can’t
be expressed in words. We can look to the Greeks for wisdom. Two friends touch each other’s souls but are not lovers. The Greeks refer to this love between friends as Philos.

The special love that we share for our family is different than any other love we experience. The Greeks refer to this love of family as Storge.

Spiritual love, or the love that is God is referred to as Agape.

The physical love, when lovers embrace, is referred to as Eros.

The language of love is an acknowledgment of a person’s essence and their inner beauty. If we are not comfortable with the more accepted language of love, it is important to create our own language; a language that acknowledges others, their
greatness, their gifts and their blessings.

By becoming more comfortable with this language, we open the doors to deeper intimacy. We begin the process of fulfilling the deepest craving that James refers to. Perhaps you have your own language and way of expressing it. Perhaps it’s with your eyes or your smile. Let’s be open to finding new ways in which to do that.

Have fun

Mark

Please join me with my cohost Ralph Marston on the Journey On radio show. blogtalkradio.com/journeyon

Mark Susnow, is an executive-life coach and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. In his prior career, he was covered by the NY Times, Boston Globe, and Rolling Stone Magazine. He is the author of Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

Plan B is the Right Plan

Sunday, January 26th, 2014

At different times in our lives we have goals and dreams. They will change as the years go by. We believe that when we achieve these goals we will be happy and then we will be “really living.” In many cases that goal might be a certain level of financial security or a great relationship. But along the way we run into some obstacles.

We also discover something very profound; even when we achieve these goals we still feel something is missing. We all know that feeling. There is that moment when we wake up and discover that our assumptions about what we needed to be happy were not true. We discover that what we thought was the perfect plan, was not so perfect.

What defines us is how we handle that disappointment? That’s our challenge. It’s part of being human. The ones who are the happiest and most successful are the ones who can shake it off and go on to plan B. That involves being flexible and innovative.

No matter who we are, at some point we will experience those moments that we were not prepared for. It’s not the
end of the world. This is where plan B comes into play. And the sooner we let go of our disappointment, the quicker we will on the road to success on all levels. In fact, in most cases we exceed our expectations.

“What a worthy adventure we are on. Our job is to enjoy it, to be ethical and to live life fully.”

Journey On

Mark

Please join me with my cohost Ralph Marston on the Journey On radio show. blogtalkradio.com/journeyon

Mark Susnow, is an executive-life coach and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. In his prior career, he was covered by the NY Times, Boston Globe, and Rolling Stone Magazine. He is the author of Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

Do the Work and Watch yourself Evolve

Thursday, December 26th, 2013

The other day, after a vigorous tennis match, I said to my partner Dan, “There is no reason, barring injury, why we can’t get better and better.” When you adopt this perspective there will be limits as to your ability to keep evolving.

I’ve also been a committed musician. I know that if i practice on a regular basis that i will keep getting better and better. I will have better dexterity and a better sense of timing and I will know the music better. There isn’t even a question in my mind if this is true. This is my truth. Of course you have to keep your end of the bargain by doing the work which requires discipline and commitment.

In my book Dancing on the River: Navigating Life’s Changes, I refer to Eight Principles which, when integrated into your life, can transform the way you relate to change.

Many of us resist change and even question if we can change. Take it one step further. As we continue to awaken, we continue to evolve. In some ways evolving transcends change. In my mind, evolution implies movement, an increased sense of what’s possible and different expectations.

Keep doing the work. See what happens.

Journey On

Mark

Please join me with my cohost Ralph Marston on the Journey On radio show. blogtalkradio.com/journeyon

Mark Susnow, is an executive-life coach and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. In his prior career, he was covered by the NY Times, Boston Globe, and Rolling Stone Magazine. He is the author of Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

One Day at a Time

Wednesday, December 11th, 2013

How you start your day sets the tone for the whole day. If you start your day in a hurry, most likely you will be in a hurry all day long. When you start your day with intention, not only will you get more done, you will do so with less stress.

In the morning take a few moments to think about what you have planned for the day. Think about what you want to get done. More important think about how you want to be as the day progresses because quite often there will be surprises along the way. Whatever they are you can have the intention to thrive and enjoy those unexpected moments. You know that what comes up, you can easily handle.

Have the intention to be present and to flow with what is. With the holidays here our days are full. We literally have more on our plate. We are busier than we usually are. We want to reconnect and renew friendships.

During this potentially stressful period of the year, it is most important for us to maintain our center so that we can reach out and enjoy ourselves.

Yes stretch and reach out, one day at a time.

When you have intention, you know what you want to do and go forward in that direction.

Enjoy this day. Make it fulfilling. Give it purpose.

Journey On

Mark

Please join me with my cohost Ralph Marston on the Journey On radio show. blogtalkradio.com/journeyon

Mark Susnow, is an executive-life coach and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. In his prior career, he was covered by the NY Times, Boston Globe, and Rolling Stone Magazine. He is the author of Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

There is no such thing as failure.

Monday, December 2nd, 2013

There comes a time in our life when we think about making a change. It might be in our business. We might invest in a new product or hire a new person. Perhaps it’s a personal investment. Yes whenever we make a change there is always the possibility that it won’t work out. Whenever we begin something new, there is always the possibility that we won’t like it. Don’t let that concern stop you. There is always going to be some of that lingering.

And there will always be a next time. With each step we take and from everything we do, at some level we learn. We learn about ourselves, what’s holding us back and what it will take to move us forward. Confronting the risk of failure is part of it. The other part is transforming how we think about failure. Perhaps it’s all feedback. Thomas Edison failed many times before he discovered the light bulb. Or did he fail. Each experiment got him closer to the discovery that changed the world.

Look at how the digital world has evolved. Each step was a stepping stone to where we are now. Yes each step was perfected over and over again. I wouldn’t call that failure, would you?

Build on little successes, so that over time you have expanded your comfort zone. With each step forward, your confidence builds. Your sense of your capabilities keeps expanding.

Be courageous! take the step in front of you. And then another. Imagine exceeding your expectations.

Enjoy the journey.

Mark

Mark Susnow, is an executive-life coach and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. In his prior career, he was covered by the NY Times, Boston Globe, and Rolling Stone Magazine. He is the author of Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

There is no Better Time than Now to Begin

Monday, November 18th, 2013

We are great avoiders. Some of the time it’s to our advantage——rather than reacting to a given situation, we take time to assess the situation. That’s a great strategy.

But it can also work to our disadvantage when avoidance leads to staying stuck. You might have good intentions and are sincere in your desire to change or to begin new endeavors. You might say to yourself or even to someone else, “When this happens, I’ll make these changes.” Usually in the beginning of the year we are full of good intentions. “I’m going to do this, we say to ourselves.” Usually it relates to changes we want to implement; a better diet…an exercise regimen. You get the idea.

We might share our intentions with someone else. But making the change, takes consistency and commitment. Consistency in that a change is not a once in a lifetime new activity. It’s a decision that we make over and over again on a daily basis. Imagine what it would be like to begin something and to do it for the rest of our lives. It’s not too late to begin. Imagine the level of expertise you could achieve. Keep exceeding your expectations.

Enjoy the journey,

Mark

Join Mark and his cohost Ralph Marston for the Journey On radio show. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/journeyon.

Mark Susnow, is an executive-life coach and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. In his prior career, he was covered by the NY Times, Boston Globe, and Rolling Stone Magazine. He is the author of Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

Enjoy the Journey

Saturday, November 9th, 2013

When is the right time to begin something new, to break your routine and begin a new adventure? It could be a new business endeavor, moving, or a change in relationship status. It could be a spiritual practice. It might even be taking a vacation for an extended period of time giving you a chance to create a new paradigm for your life.

Think about what goes into getting away. You have to block out a period of time and you have concerns that while you’re gone, things will fall apart without you or you’ll miss out on that big opportunity.

Changing our patterns for a period of time takes practice. It involves leaving the familiar and exploring new territory, which isn’t always comfortable. And there is always that critical voice of judgment that you wish you could silence. “You’re not being practical. Wait until the economy picks us. Wait until “this” happens, the “this” being something that might or might not happen in the future. So we hesitate and don’t take action. We never reach our full potential. A year goes by and then another and nothing has changed.

There are always going to be voices that get in the way of our moving forward in our lives especially if that is what we focus on. We have to keep filling our tanks on a daily basis with inspiration. Inside of us is another voice that I call the Voice of Inspiration and Praise, VIP, that says, “Yes, you can. You can do it, go for it.” The voice that reminds you to have faith that it’s all going to work out.

The challenge is to recognize and listen to it. It doesn’t necessarily show up in the way we expect and is more prevalent than we realize. It’s a voice, an attitude that needs to be cultivated on a daily basis.

As you know I’m a firm believer in synchronicity—those chance encounters that change your life, those remarkable meetings. When I was a young lawyer, one evening a friend told me of a magical swimming hole along a river in Humboldt County. I had just resolved a case that was set for trial and had nothing on my schedule for the next week. I got my car ready, filled up the tank and off I went with my guitar, my dog, and sleeping bag and drove north, arriving at the river just as the sun was setting.

In the morning I awoke at the crack of dawn in search of the swimming hole. I knew that if I hiked upstream I would get there. I continued on my way until a camper offered me some food and coffee. Although I found myself getting hungry and a little bit tired, I said, “No thanks” to the kind invitation, “I want to get to the swimming hole.”

After another twenty yards I turned around and said, “That coffee sounds good.” I enjoyed the breakfast. As it turned out, the camper had a guitar and we played music for quite some time. I was full in more ways than one. After thanking the camper, I was ready to be on my way. It was what the camper said in the next few moments that has perhaps made the greatest impact in my life.

“Hey man, the journey you take is probably more important than your destination. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy the journey.” I enjoyed the rest of the hike and the swimming hole was fabulous.

Since that meeting, I have taken his advice to heart. It has affected every aspect of my life. There’s no better time than now to enjoy your life and experience it as an exciting journey of discovery. Instead of waiting for that ideal relationship, enjoy life exactly as it is. Instead of feeling despair about finding meaning and purpose in your life, enjoy the inquiry. Instead of waiting for that big opportunity, enjoy what you’re doing.

There will always be something in the way, which if you focus on it, will affect your ability to enjoy life. You will be tested repeatedly in some manner. Each day you’ll have to renew your commitment, but eventually it becomes a way of life. There are eight daily practices and rituals that have supported me on my journey.

1. Take time each day for quiet reflection in the morning including expressing gratitude. It sets the tone for the day.
2. While driving in your car, listen to motivational or conscious music, rather than listening to the news or what’s on the various am stations.
3. Make sure that on a daily basis you are in contact with people who inspire and support you. Don’t hesitate to take the first step and reach out.
4. Take time to commune in nature.
5. Eat healthy; drink plenty of water and get exercise. This is a choice that you make over and over again that eventually becomes a healthy habit.
6. Don’t forget to smile and make sure you make someone else smile.
7. In the evening, take some time to read a personal growth or spiritual book, even if it’s just for a few minutes.
8. Reflect upon the most special moment of the day as you are falling asleep. No matter what happened during the day, you have a choice as to how you think about it.

So there you have it. When are you planning your next adventure? You know I love to hear from you. Feel free to share Letters on Life with those in your circle.

Enjoy the journey,

Mark

Join Mark and his cohost Ralph Marston for the Journey On radio show. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/journeyon.

Mark Susnow, is an executive-life coach and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. In his prior career, he was covered by the NY Times, Boston Globe, and Rolling Stone Magazine. He is the author of Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

So Which one are you Going to Focus on?

Wednesday, October 30th, 2013

The average person thinks over 60,000 thoughts in a day. It isn’t an exaggeration to say our minds are superactive. And we know from the work we have been doing that our mind is extremely powerful. Our thoughts have the power to create our reality and certainly our experience of reality.

Many researchers often liken our minds to computers. They’re amazing and have the power to do extraordinary things, both positive and negative. What matters is how we program them. To make our computers more efficient we install the latest software which is a step in the right direction. But without more is not enough.

It’s the data we input into the computer that makes the difference. We have to let the computer know what we want. And our lives our like that. Our subconscious mind is the engine that runs our life. It is our thoughts and actions that help program our subconscious minds. So we have to be mindful as to what we input.

We want most of those thoughts to be positive. In that way we program ourselves to think more positively and to be happier.

We all want to know how we can do that. If you have been reading this blog before you know that quite often i make reference to the morning program. How you start your day sets the tone for the day.

The best investment you can make, with the highest rate of return, is to take time in the morning for inner reflection. Sit quietly in the beginning for 5-10 minutes. Then focus on what you are grateful for. What this does is shift your focus from what isn’t working to what is. In essence you shift your focus to the good. And after you do this, then wonder about what the highlight of your day might be. Again you’re thinking about the good. In the process many of those thoughts that you think about will be more uplifting. In the process you’ll smile and laugh more.

Journey ON

Mark

Join Mark and his cohost Ralph Marston for the Journey On radio show. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/journeyon.

Mark Susnow, is an executive-life coach and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. In his prior career, he was covered by the NY Times, Boston Globe, and Rolling Stone Magazine. He is the author of Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.


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