inspiration

Redefining Success

Tuesday, September 1st, 2015

It’s time to move forward. Most of us, if not all of us, would like to be more successful but we struggle with what exactly success means. What contributes to this struggle is that we usually define success by someone else’s standards or our own stricter standards. And usually we are our own worse critics. I struggled with this mindset for years. No matter what I did, I didn’t consider myself successful—there was always the, “Yea, but look at what they did. I’ll never be as good as them.”

Within each of us is the key to success, which is our attitude about how we see ourselves.

IF we are always trying to live up to some external standard we’re always going to find it difficult to be satisfied. There are many great people in this world that can do some things better than us. Yet when we look at ourselves and explore our own unique greatness, we find that there are some things we can do better than them.

If you wish to be successful, then think of yourself in that way. Focus on your gifts and unique talents. You are already successful. You have unique gifts and talents. Share these gifts and talents with others.

“At times our own light goes out, and is reignited by the spark of another person.”

Journey ON

Mark

Mark Susnow knows change. He is an executive-life coach, life-discovery guide and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. In his prior career, he was covered by the NY Times, Boston Globe, and Rolling Stone Magazine. He is the author of Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

Your iGPS of Inner Change

Friday, May 29th, 2015

Nature has its many mysteries. Not only does nature nurture us, it reminds us of the cyclical nature of life. It also reminds us how unpredictable life can be.

After a flurry of fresh snow, we have a sense of awe and transcendence as the sun melts the snow clinging to the trees. We feel a lightness of being as we breathe in the fresh air. But it’s not always that way. Many of us have been in the midst of a violent storm that we thought would never end, but we get to the other side.

With many of the personal challenges we face in our lives we forget this valuable lesson. At times they overwhelm us, and that’s all we see. We lose sight of what we want to create and accomplish. We forget that the storm will give way to spring.

Spring, with its sense of optimism and hope, is a time to plant new seeds. We don’t know how many of these seeds, or which ones, will emerge from the darkness to the light. But, for sure, some will.

We can make the choice to enjoy the process of cultivating these seeds that are possibilities in our minds that are not dependent on our circumstances. It doesn’t help to postpone feeling good about life until these seeds have come to fruition.

While it might it be true that there are events and circumstances in our lives that we wish were different, but by courageously facing our dissatisfaction, we begin shifting to the Positive Side of Change. Once this occurs, the flame inside of us begins to burn brightly again.

Each of us has an Inner GPS of Change that guides and empowers us to skillfully navigate the changing currents of life’s challenges and to consistently recognize opportunities for success and fulfillment all around us.

We’re able to recognize new possibilities and opportunities. We’re gentler with ourselves and have learned to accept the things about ourselves that we can’t change. We’ve learned to accept the imperfections in life.

We’ve learned to smile in the midst of the storm. We know we’ll get through it. We focus on what’s right about our life. We’ve made the choice. Keep making that choice. Keep spreading the seeds of possibilities.

“At times our own light goes out, and is reignited by the spark of another person.”

Journey ON

Mark

Mark Susnow knows change. He is an executive-life coach, life-discovery guide and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. In his prior career, he was covered by the NY Times, Boston Globe, and Rolling Stone Magazine. He is the author of Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

Persistence—the New Power

Wednesday, May 20th, 2015

Many of us forget what it takes to be successful. Yes it takes hard work, commitment and persistence. Most successful people have on more than a few occasions thought about giving up. But they kept at it and moved forward. It’s like climbing a mountain. In the beginning of the climb the task can seem challenging. With every step forward we get closer to our goal.

Achieving goals is like that. We sometimes get caught up in the obstacles and lose sight of where we want to go. There is that half way point, when we say to ourselves, “I’m going to make it.” We know we can do it. From that point on, the challenges no longer seem like challenges, just part of the terrain——we let go of our resistance and move forward with the wind at our back. We allow ourselves to get excited.

Thinking of ourselves as persistent isn’t the most exciting description of ourselves. Yet when you have mastered that quality, you have an amazing power that enables you to do almost anything. One of my coaching clients is a triathlete. The persistence that she demonstrates during training gives her a sense of power than transcends any limitation that might show up in other areas of her life.

Seize the power. Be persistent.

Journey On

At times in our life, our own light goes out and is reignited by the spark of another person.

Mark

Please join me on the Journey On radio show and listen cutting edge thought leaders blogtalkradio.com/journeyon

Mark Susnow knows change. He is an executive-life coach, life-discovery guide and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. In his prior career, he was covered by the NY Times, Boston Globe, and Rolling Stone Magazine. He is the author of Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

Turning Limitations into Possibilities

Wednesday, May 13th, 2015

As we all know at some point in our lives we start to feel boxed in by our life circumstances. Our choices seem limited by our beliefs around what is possible in our lives. If we are really honest with ourselves, we know that our beliefs are just beliefs and not actual truth. It’s difficult for many of us to accept this fact, but if we do a whole new world of possibilities will open up to us.

These limiting beliefs are based upon our interpretation of our past personal history. The meaning we have given to these events including labels or things people have said about us, limit our ability to make choices today.

Freeing yourself up from this past is the first step in experiencing more personal freedom in your life. Look back at your life and realize that every event and experience that has occurred has made you who you are today. Take a look at some of these past experiences. Can you give these past experiences a different meaning? Perhaps they’ve prepared you for the next step in your life?

Let go of your attachments and your identification with what has happened. As you reframe your past, you pave the way for a more exciting future.

“At times our own light dims, and is reignited by the spark of another person.”

Journey ON

Mark

Mark Susnow knows change. He is an executive-life coach, life-discovery guide and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. In his prior career, he was covered by the NY Times, Boston Globe, and Rolling Stone Magazine. He is the author of Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

When is the Perfect Time?

Monday, May 11th, 2015

If only we knew what we do now, back then. It worked out, didn’t it, maybe not exactly the way we had hoped, but we got through it. And not only got through it, but in some cases exceeded our expectations.

The trap or habit that many of us fall into, is to condition our happiness and fulfillment on external events occurring sometime in the future.

We find ourselves saying, “When this happens, things will be better.” You know how it goes. You probably know some people who are masters at postponing their happiness. They always have an excuse as to why their life isn’t working. The circumstances in the future are very rarely going to be in perfect alignment. That something we are waiting for to happen might not ever occur. And even if it does, we might find that what we thought was important has also changed.

Your circumstances are perfect today, right now. Whatever was going on in your life, got you here to this moment in time, right now; even things you didn’t like.

That day in the future often referred to as “Someday” is here right now. Make the best of it. When today is over, it’s forever gone. You only have this day once. Don’s waste it by thinking that some other day might be better.

“At times our own light dims, and is reignited by the spark of another person.”

Journey ON

Mark

Mark Susnow knows change. He is an executive-life coach, life-discovery guide and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. In his prior career, he was covered by the NY Times, Boston Globe, and Rolling Stone Magazine. He is the author of Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

People Coming and Going

Thursday, May 7th, 2015

We have one of those people Coming. He’s a guest blogger. Welcome Alan Harris.

How people come and go in and out of people’s lives… sometimes a mirror of what is going on, or not privately.
We have our inner and outer beings. The captain voice informing the crew about the pending protocols outside our head. Quieting the monkeys running amok, as charming and amusing as they are, takes a lot of energy, especially in times of stress or overload. Where’s the zookeeper?

Anyhow, when there is quietude everyone gathers around in peace and harmony and converges. Meditation and reflection, sometimes full engagement in whatever one is doing in the present is a reminder to pay attention in the moment.

So people have stuff going on. I know I have friends who disappear from time to time and then reappear. Sometimes their personal stuff has them turn away from people they know well, and other times they turn towards them. We pay attention and help when we can, and try to not let our own stuff blind us to the needs of others, within reason. Then compassion helps to focus the mind.

We feel more connected to people when we feel that we share the same human experience, good and bad, and that compassion is the key to understanding.

When I have a friend who acts out of resentment or insecurity in a way that is hurtful or rejecting, I feel a connection even if the other person is unaware of it or breaks off their connection. Because understanding that some people cannot find that quiet place allows me to not react in kind but to hope that they find peace.

Too often I hear people verbalize self doubt and blame themselves for ‘creating’ something negative that happens to them, as if they are responsible for how they are treated by another. Sometimes that may be the case, but more often it is the simple fact that the person who thinks that way is lacking compassion and forgiveness for themself and piling on and supporting preexisting negative self views. I wish I could be more mindful of that in times of stress and self doubt.

The thought occurs that reaching for wherever one put that key of compassion, for oneself as well as others, might open a door to a better place.

Just sayin’…

That’s all!

Regards,

Alan
For those of you who don’t me. I am an unrepentant Tao Prankster raised in Socal, lastly from Kauai, father of 2 lads, and current Marin resident. Surfer, photographer, tennis enthusiast, and seeker of truth and beauty in all things.
Regards,

Alan Harris
awaveman@me.com

Mark Susnow knows change. He is an executive-life coach, life-discovery guide and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. In his prior career, he was covered by the NY Times, Boston Globe, and Rolling Stone Magazine. He is the author of Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

Emergence

Wednesday, May 6th, 2015

“In order to change an existing paradigm you do not struggle to try and change the problematic model. You create a new model and make the old one obsolete. Buckminster Fuller

Some of you already know that I am working on a new book. What has emerged is a new paradigm to live by. Some of the following is excerpted from this new work that explores the loose ends and uncertainty of life’s unfolding.

“As we continue to expand and evolve what emerges is a new paradigm from which to relate to life. This emergence occurs when we make the shift to the Positive Side of Change. In this paradigm, waking up each day, excited, with a smile on our face—even with all the loose ends and uncertainty, is what real success is. The breakthrough then becomes the shift from the physical world of accomplishment and achievement, to the inner world of being and wonder. While most of us would like to be more successful in the world, that by itself won’t fulfill us. Lightening up and enjoying each day to its fullest, which includes the ups and downs, the twists and turns and ebb and flow of life’s unfolding mystery, is what makes us come alive.

The paradox is that when we embrace the Positive Side of Change, not only do we experience the same or greater levels of material success, we enjoy ourselves in the process of creation. In the process we discover possibilities we never knew existed. On this side of change, we don’t fear or obsess about the inevitable “loose ends” because we know we have what it takes to handle and to thrive in them.

Once we emerge into the new paradigm, the not knowing, what’s next, becomes exciting. With a sense of being and wonder emerging into its full glory, a glory beyond anything you’ve yet experienced, you notice as you look more deeply and reflect upon your life, that events which at one time seemed random, are all interconnected preparing you for this moment. There’s still a great deal you can’t explain, and the curiosity to explore and explain it, excites you, propels you. In the process, you keep expanding your edge, which at one time was a barrier to seeing what’s beyond that ridge or beneath the surface of the deep mysterious ocean, to discover that this unknown territory is full of amazing possibilities of your living a life full of joy and wonder.

Your enjoyment and appreciation of life is not dependent on what might happen in the future, but rather on the choice you make over and over again to be happy in this moment, yes this one, the one that is all there is. When things don’t work out the way you had hoped or your expectations weren’t meant, rather than judging what happened and its significance in the big picture, just SAY TO YOURSELF, ‘THAT’S INTERESTING.’ These powerful words reinforce that you are the creator who is the architect of the life you want to live and the person you want to be. The creation of this life, is an art form, one that you cultivate. As you emerge into this new paradigm, you experience your life as an exciting journey of discovery.

Let me know what emerges.

At times in our life, our own light dims, and is reignited by the spark of another person.

Journey On

Mark

Mark Susnow knows change. He is an executive-life coach, life-discovery guide and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. In his prior career, he was covered by the NY Times, Boston Globe, and Rolling Stone Magazine. He is the author of Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

Say “Goodbye to Negative Thinking”

Monday, April 27th, 2015

Like most people I’m sure you hear that voice, that voice of judgment, the inner critic that keeps repeating some version of the theme that you’re not good enough. You would give almost anything to silence it. At times it feels like a hypnotic spell has been cast upon you.

Here’s what can you do to break this spell. Start your day differently. How you start your day sets the tone for the rest of the day!
Sit for a few minutes in silence and then slowly focus on what you are grateful for. What this does is shift your focus from what isn’t working and what you don’t like about your life, to what is working and what you do like. This simple practice goes a long way toward breaking the hypnotic habit of negative thinking. And you know how it works. If you don’t break the spell, before you know it, you begin imagining worse case scenarios.

The sooner you can recognize your voice of judgment that in coaching we refer to as your gremlin, the sooner you can get rid of it. The doing something is simple and perhaps counterintuitive. All you have to do is to notice. That’s it. What helps is to give it a name so that you’re somewhat detached from the feeling. I call my gremlin Ralph. This simple practice of just noticing is profound. Don’t judge it. Don’t beat yourself up. Notice it and then say, “Next.” Try it for 30 days and see what happens.
This practice is a great first step to becoming a more positive person. Consistent positive thinking, not only changes your outlook on life, but it also empowers you to see opportunities that previously you would not have looked at. And more importantly life will seem less stressful.

Please join me on the Journey On radio show and listen cutting edge thought leaders blogtalkradio.com/journeyon

“At times our own light goes out, and is reignited by the spark of another person.”

Journey On

Mark Susnow knows change. He is an executive-life coach, life-discovery guide and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. In his prior career, he was covered by the NY Times, Boston Globe, and Rolling Stone Magazine. He is the author of Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

This Adventure called “You”

Friday, April 3rd, 2015

Wherever you are in your life journey, you eventually come to the same realization. The outward path of seeking success and what you might call “happiness” is only temporarily fulfilling. Finding joy and fulfillment is an inner journey.

I ask many of my coaching clients to complete the following sentence. Life is……………… How they complete this sentence tells me, and them, how they see their life. Some complete it by saying, “Life is hard, or life is a struggle.” For them that’s the way there life is, and will be, unless they shift their mindset.

I’ve chosen to complete the sentence by declaring, “Life is an adventure,” which has become an empowering affirmation of life’s abundant possibilities. It’s also been a bold challenge, reflective of a philosophy of living cultivated over the years, one in which you know you have the choice to keep smiling and to enjoy life’s amazing journey even with it’s inherent loose ends and uncertainties. And yes there will still be disappointment and heartache. Developing this mindset takes practice and determination that eventually will become a habit if you stick with it. It’s a challenge worthy of your best effort. Try it for a month and see what unfolds.

On this journey, you’ll discover that your enjoyment and appreciation of life is not dependent on what happens, but rather on the meaning you give to what happens. It might take a while to come to this realization, but once you do, you awaken to a rich inner life more fulfilling than you can imagine.

Perhaps some of the following insights and practices can help keep you focused on cultivating this new paradigm.

1.How you start your day sets the tone for the day. If you start the day in a hurry it will be extremely difficult to slow down. A suggestion. After you wake up and before you do anything else, take 10-15 minutes for meditation or reflection. Also take some time to focus on what you’re grateful for. By focusing on what you are grateful for, your focus shifts to how blessed you are, rather than on what’s wrong.

2. Develop the practice of Curiosity. After expressing gratitude, reflect upon your day wondering about what the highlight of your day might be which creates a positive expectation as the day progresses. The key here is that there always is a highlight. You get to decide what that is.

3. Learn how to recognize and know your VOJ. The VOJ is that voice of judgment that drives you nuts. You know it. We all do. You would give anything to silence it even if just for a few minutes. The sooner that you can recognize your VOJ, which in coaching we call your gremlin, the sooner you can become free of its hypnotic spell that can last a lifetime if you don’t do anything about it. But the doing is a different type of doing. It’s just noticing. By just noticing you wake up from its hypnotic spell. This is a lifelong challenge so don’t be discouraged if you don’t notice anything right away.

4. Self-Acceptance. There are certain things we can’t change. We can’t change who are parents are. We can’t change our country of origin. We can’t change all of the injustices in the world, although we might try. But we do have the potential to change how we think about ourselves and how we think about the circumstances of our lives. Even though we are our own worst critics at times, our work is to accept those things we don’t like about ourselves—that dark side often referred to as our “shadow.” Once you do you’ll feel lighter and freer. And isn’t that what it’s all about.

5. Introduce positive self-talk into the conversation. It’s time to listen to a new voice, a voice if honored and cultivated can change how you think about yourself. It’s your VIP, the voice of Inspiration and Praise that we don’t listen to enough. The voice that says, “You did great, good job. You handled that well.” Let it in. Honor it.

6. Make time for the jollies. So here we are again with another new phrase. No I haven’t lost my mind. All of us have faced challenges that at times seem overwhelming. The Jollies is taking the time to do what gives you joy, even if you still have loose ends in your life and your “to do” list keeps getting bigger. Don’t wait for the perfect time to let joy in. There always be “loose ends” and uncertainty.

I hope I’ve given you some insights as to how you can more fully enjoy this adventure called you. It’s the only one you have.

Please join me on the Journey On radio show and listen cutting edge thought leaders blogtalkradio.com/journeyon

Mark Susnow knows change. He is an executive-life coach, life-discovery guide and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. In his prior career, he was covered by the NY Times, Boston Globe, and Rolling Stone Magazine. He is the author of Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

The Three Secrets to Life

Tuesday, February 10th, 2015

Most of us, if not all of us, have wondered from time to time what the secret to life is. We have thought, talked, and read about it and listened to our share of spiritual teachers looking for the answer.

I have to admit that it has been challenging to limit this inquiry to just three insights and practices. I didn’t just come up with these answers in a heartbeat. Over dinner with the help of my daughter Savanna I made some progress.

Let’s begin. A big smile is huge. It’s a universal language. When we first meet someone many thoughts cascade through our minds. At a certain level we size up the other person. We want to know who the other person is. Are they a kind person? Can they be trusted? Our first impression goes a long way toward satisfying our curiosity. We look for clues and yes we can be fooled at times. Most of us would agree that a genuine smile goes a long way toward relieving tension between people. When we feel it from our core, we radiate and transcend our physical being. It’s contagious and compelling.

When we smile we usually are happy. And even when we are not at our peak, smiling has the potential to change our mood instantly. I wondered if there was an explanation for this phenomenon.

Some time ago, when I was preparing a program on stress reduction, I came across an article on the science of smiling. It was one of those articles where the author was unknown. “Smiles, frowns, and grimaces were once seen simply as expressions of feelings. Increasingly, scientists are realizing that facial expressions precede feelings and play a role in generating them.

How does this work? One theory suggests that when you use the “smile muscles” at the corners of your mouth, you change the direction of the blood flow inside your face in such a way that it causes the temperature of the blood to drop. This cooler blood enters the region of the brain known as the hypothalamus and causes the release of chemicals that can suppress pain and help a person to feel better.

Cooling the blood may promote the release of endorphins, which, decreases pain and gives you a lift. In short, smiling instructs our brains to feel good.” The implications are enormous. Medical science recognizes the effect that stress has on illness. Could smiling more be the key to health and wellness?

I’ve written about this next insight on several occasions and there is a chapter in Dancing on the River that explores this concept in more detail. How you start your day sets the tone for the day. When you start your day with calmness and focus, there is a greater likelihood that your day will be less stressful. And the corollary is true—when you start your day anxious and in a hurry, you’ll hurry thru the rest of the day playing catch-up. You never do catch-up for what you are trying to catch is an illusion. At the end of the day, most of the work gets done, but you are exhausted because of the stress you felt throughout the day.

If you have been following the work that I do you know that I am a big believer in having a committed daily spiritual practice, which allows you to connect with your center. The exact form is up to you. There are two key words here—committed and practice. When you are committed to a daily practice, you discover your center. When you don’t live from your center, the difficulties in your life seem much more challenging. It’s like driving your car without shock absorbers. Every bump in the road is magnified. Eventually all you see are imperfections. And that’s the way are lives are when we lose connection with our center. The other word is practice. You need to do it. Some days it’s easier than others. I have been practicing meditation and yoga for years, yet I still experience resistance to practicing on some mornings. But I do anyway and usually feel good afterwards.

The third insight is that life is cyclical. Just look at nature’s cycles. As I write this article in the middle of summer, I am fortunate to harvest all that I’ve planted. And nature keeps on giving fruit from the trees that have been here for many years. In the fall, the leaves fall listlessly to the ground; by winter the trees are barren. In the spring we plant the seeds anew and begin a new cycle.
That’s the way our own lives are. Our circumstances and moods change from time to time which contributes to the cyclical nature of our own lives. Some years are smoother than others. There is much uncertainty in life’s unfoldment. When we integrate these practices just discussed into our lives, we are more apt to embrace the inevitable changes on life’s journey as opportunity, as adventure and as possibility.
So there you have it. See what happens. Smile and laugh more. And take time in the morning for your morning program and notice your stress levels decreasing.

Perhaps you already have a practice that works for you. Congratulations—keep practicing. And if you haven’t yet begun, it’s not too late. Let me know what you discover.

Journey On

Mark

Please join me on the Journey On radio show and listen cutting edge thought leaders blogtalkradio.com/journeyon

Mark Susnow knows change. He is an executive-life coach, life-discovery guide and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. In his prior career, he was covered by the NY Times, Boston Globe, and Rolling Stone Magazine. He is the author of Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.


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