Wouldn’t it be great if there was a formula if followed would be the answer to all of our problems and concerns. We are intrigued by books and lectures that promise us happiness and a better life.

If you have been a reader of this blog, you know that I make frequent references to the river.  Perhaps you already know the story. When I was 13 years old, my Uncle Sam took me on a weeklong river rafting trip on the Green River in Colorado.  We flew from San Francisco to Boise and then caught a little six-seat plane that flew us over the mountains and landed in a town near our campsite.  We then got into an old school bus that drove us to the river.

On the second day of the trip I was swimming along the side of the raft when I noticed the raft getting ahead of me and I heard the yells:  “Get in the boat. Get in the boat.” But it was too late. As I swam toward the boat, I became exhausted from the struggle. I heard more yells: “Stay in the center. Stay in the center.”  That’s what I tried to do. I let go as I was swirled through the rapids a few feet behind the boat. I made it to the other side. I was now in calm water and able to relax for a second until I noticed the next series of rapids approaching. At the last second my uncle extended an oar and miraculously I was able to grab it as I was pulled onto the boat.

On the way home, my uncle said something to me that was prophetic. “ You’ll think about this trip later in life.“  It wasn’t until many years later, on a return trip to Colorado, while visiting a friend that I thought about it. As I sat high on a mountaintop, staring into a reddish canyon, I saw a river. I reflected upon my river experience many years previously. I thought about my life and all that had occurred up to that moment in time. There were the ups and downs, the joys and sorrows and the remarkable people who had been my guides on this journey. I reflected upon eight principles that have been my inner guides that have helped me navigate the changing nature of the river.

• Find and live from your center. When you are centered and connected to your source, you are connected with the source of everything.  That’s when you are able to let go, to trust and to flow with what is. When I let go in the river and stayed in the center, I became at one with that same energy and power that had forged a path over thousands of years. Meditation has facilitated my connecting with that center on a daily basis.
•  Develop the practice of gratitude. I was grateful for that oar. I was grateful that I got to experience the river. And I am grateful for my life. We have much to be grateful for.  We are truly abundant.
• Be curious. Think of your life as a river with its lessons, challenges and complexities. Being curious about the changing nature of the river enables you to know and sense its many currents. As this knowing emerges, you’re more comfortable with not knowing where the river is taking you. In the process you become the person you’ve always wanted to be, fully present with life, and passionate about living.
• Be prepared. I wore a life preserver on the river. When you are prepared you can relax and enjoy life’s unfolding. Preparation involves nurturing your mind and body, including eating well and exercising. It involves working on yourself and being receptive to new ideas and concepts. In the process of becoming an expanded person, your sense of what is possible in your also expands.
• Get out of your comfort zone.  I could have stayed in the boat and played it safe but I was curious and adventurous. My comfort zone for me was my law practice and as a result my life for many years was on hold. Getting in the current and flow of life involves risk, but that is what you must do if you want to realize your full potential.
•  Learn to let go of resistance. Resistance is a constant  struggle. At some point in your life, not only do you become tired from the struggle, you become tired of the struggle. When you allow yourself to flow with what is, you experience a synchronicity that can’t be described in words.
•  Trust others and work together. You can’t do it alone and why would you want to. When you are open and willing to receive you create a synergy in your life that is greater than the sum of the individual parts. When the oar is extended accept it.
•  The River of Life is a great mystery. I am becoming increasingly more comfortable with not knowing the next step. And when it comes I enjoy taking it. The river is unpredictable and you can’t figure it out.

As you begin to integrate these eight principles into your life, you’re more confident that wherever the river takes you, you have the tools and inner resources to swim in the deeper waters and swifter currents.

With each passing year I am blessed to share the journey with many likeminded travelers.  Thank you for expanding our circle by forwarding this link to those in your circle. By the way when is your next river rafting trip?

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Please join me for the Journey On radio show. I am cohosting the show with my good friend Ralph Marston who publishes the Daily Motivator.  Http://www.blogtalkradio.com/journeyon

Mark Susnow, is an executive-life coach and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River: Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

When you discover and honor your true nature and core beliefs, your life will be more consistent with the self you want to awaken.

What really matters to you? Until you know what’s true for you, it will be difficult to live a fulfilling life.  That’s what our journey together is about.  This exporation has no ending, because as you experience different phases in your life, what’s important to you also changes.

Discovering your core values is a lifelong quest.  Until you connect with y9our authentic self, you will nevver connect with these values.  It’s like turning on the light switch when the electricity is turned off. Connecting with your authentic self turns on the electricity…Living from you center connects you with your authentic self and core values. In the last few blogs you have been given tools and strategies to connect with that center.

Let’s build on that. Take a few moments to think about your life.. Think about your values, what you are doing and the people in your life. All of your past experiences, the people you have met and the choices you have made, contribute to who you are today. Without any of them  you wouldn’t be the person you are today.  Your core values and beliefs about what is possible in your life are a reflection of these past experiences.

When you take the time to reflect upon your life’s journey, you’ll discover key moments from the past that have contributed to who you are, what you stand for and clarity about your life purpose.  Sometimes these moments were in response to life’s challenges when you arose to the occasion. At other times you answered the call of a yearning inside, which ultimately determined your character and destiny.

I refer to these times as defining moments. Identify three of them in your life. Those moments that you can fall back on to remind you what you really stand for. One of them  might be a decision.  My decision to begin meditating was a defining moment in my life. My decision to make a career change  from trial lawyer to coach, speaker and author was a defining moment. Making the decision is the beginning of a new journey. Are you ready?

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive-life coach and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River: Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

You have been introduced to meditation and the power of gratitude. After I have meditated in the morning and focused on what I am grateful for, I wonder about what the highlight of my day might be.  This simple practice helps me cultivate curiosity into my life.

Being curious is such a power thought process. Here’s what you do. Briefly scan your day to remind yourself what’s on your agenda.  After you have done that, as your day progresses, be open to seeing the good in every encountner that you have.  The highlight might be something unexpected and it might be a little thing. We tend to overlook what at first glance might seem insignificant  This practice will open you up to a whole new universe.  It might be a smile while you are waiting in line at the bank or the grocery store.  It might be a thank-you from someone.  It might be a greeting from a pet.  Hopefully, by the end of the day, you won’t be able to make up your mind as to what the highlight was because you’ll have two or three great choices. What at one time seemed like a mundane task, becomes something that you look forward to.

For the next week integrate curiosity into your morning as you begin the day and see what you notice. The important thing to take away from this is that there is always a highlight. It just might be different than what you think. Be open to that new possibility.

ENJOY THE JOURNEY

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive-life coach and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River: Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

I’ve found from my years as an executive-life coach, worry is one of the biggest challenges that most of us face. In previous blogs you were introduced to the benefits of a daily gratitude practice.  I’ve found that expressing gratitude on a daily basis helps me to overome my tendeny to worry.  I know this tendency places me in good company.  When I feel myself worrying excessively there are three questions I ask myself.

The first is, “What is the worst that can happen?” Remember  worry is an irrational emotion.  There is an acronym that reminds mo of this truth : F.E. A. R.: False Evidence Apppearing Real.

I then ask myself, ” How likely is it that what I’m worrying about will happen?” This question gets me out of the irrational mode.  When you are in the irrational mode you usually imagine the worst-case scenario.  This inquiry forces me to detach from what I’m feeling, even if just for a few seconds.  Once I’m feeling calmer, I’m ready to explore the likelihood of the particular thing I’m worrying about actually occurring.  Usually I come to the conclusion that there is little likelihood of it happening.

The next inquiry I have found quite powerful.  Ask yourself what the result would be if everything went your way. Very few of us consider this possibility.  When you allow yourself to fully explore and imagine the possibilities of everything working out in your favor, with the same intensity of emotion that you have when you worry, before you know it, your’re out of your funk and excited again. More often than not I am pleasantly surprised.

We have no way of knowing what is going to happen in the future, yet for some reason when we worry we think we do.  In the process of training our minds to think more positively about the possibilities in our life, life beomes less of a struggle and more of an exciting journey of discovery.  Since we know what it’s like to dance on the river, we welcome what’s next.

ENJOY THE JOURNEY

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s 

We’ve all had dreams at different times in our lives. Without them our lives wouldn’t be the same. We wouldn’t have accomplished much of what we have so far. We wouldn’t be living the life that we are living today.

But it’s a balancing act. Sometimes these dreams and visions get in the way of our experiencing the present moment. In my conversations with many like-minded travelers, I am reminded that many of us have forgotten how to have fun, how to play like we did when we were kids. To help us remember what it’s like, I encourage people to reflect upon their childhood. What did they do when they weren’t in school? When they had a choice to choose an elective, what did they choose and what did they say no to? Growing up I had a choice between music or an elective that involved making things. I’ve played music my entire life, but am not very good when it comes to making or fixing things.

Think about what you did to have fun. It helps to have a good imagination. Sports were a big part of my life. I had visions of becoming a professional athlete. But as I got older, and competed against other kids from different areas of the city, no matter how active my imagination, I realized my limitations.

Growing up, both sports and music were a big part of my life. No matter the sport, I had my teams that I rooted for. It’s amazing how important I made that weeks game. Not only did it give my life meaning, it was an escape from the rest of my life. Much of the time I found myself rooting for the underdog. Sometimes the only ones giving the underdog a chance were the underdogs themselves. When the underdog won, I felt so good. It reminded me of what was possible in my own life. It reminded me of how powerful believing in one’s self can be.

One of our local basketball teams, the Golden State Warriors were perennial underdogs until seven years ago. They rehired an old coach who miraculously turned them around by getting them to believe in themselves. It was contagious. The fans started believing too. In fact that year they made the playoffs and the team slogan became WE BELIEVE. As you entered the stadium you were given a yellow t-shirt, one of the team’s colors, with the slogan We Believe printed on it.

Well it didn’t last. The team reverted to their old ways and became underdogs again. Within three years the team was sold and the coach fired. Ownership completed a turnover in the team’s roster. This year they’re back and having a great year. But there’s a different feeling. It’s no longer We Believe; it’s now WE BELONG. The distinction seemed profound. It’s been on my mind. How is this subtle distinction relevant to the rest of our lives?

The dream or vision keeps us moving forward and gives us a reason for living. But at times it takes tremendous effort to keep the dream alive, especially when we might be the only one having the dream. Even when we have our share of doubts, we keep going. Ultimately it’s getting to that place in our lives when we courageously stand up to the uncertainty in our lives. Even in the face of this uncertainty, we experience moments of grace when we have occasional glimpses of a life that at one time we could only imagine. But there is still the striving and the insecurity.

At some point there is a shift in consciousness. The feeling of believing morphs into a feeling of belonging. Our expectations for ourselves, and the acceptance of our greatness, emerge. We now say to ourselves, “This is where I belong.” At times this shift is elusive. While we do feel a sense of community, it’s much more than that. It’s a feeling of acceptance. It’s a feeling of peace. It’s a feeling of knowing this is where we belong. We are home.

My team, the Warriors, initially believed that they could be an elite team, but they hadn’t experienced it as of yet. When they momentarily had a glimpse of it years ago, a seed was planted that when cultivated properly could grow into who they are today. They have an expectation of winning. They have an expectation of excellence and greatness. They’ve cultivated their garden. They are ready to reap the harvest and share it with others.

We all have a longing to be part of something greater than ourselves. The feeling of belonging transports us from the “I” to the “We.” From that feeling of WE, we experience a profound sense of connectedness. A connectedness to community and a power greater than we are.

So with my team, it’s no longer a once in a while kind of deal. They’re for real. They belong. So do you. So do all of us.

ENJOY THE JOURNEY

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

In getting on the positive side of change, we’re aware of the balancing act we play on a daily basis. Imagine….You’re driving your car. You’re looking at where you are going. But in the rearview window you see headlights. You are distracted by the headlights and forget where you are going. That’s what happens when you lose your center.

It could be said that most of our life is like that….trying to maintain that balance so that we’re moving forward. So that we keep our eye on what’s important to us and what we have to do to get there. While it is true that the past does have some relevance, more important is what we’ve learned from it and how we are going to build upon it. It doesn’t do any good to dwell on what has happened in the past or the missed opportunities. “If only I said this. If only I did this instead. If only I tried harder. If only I took advantage of the opportunity.”

It’s time to get excited about what’s ahead. Stretch yourself. Get out of your comfort zone. Imagine what your life would be like if things work out better than expected. What a great thought. What if in the morning, after taking time for meditation or quiet reflection, you visualized that life. Yes you made it a habit. Everyday. You build on it. Be a dreamer. As John Lennon sang, “I might be a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.”

So stay focused on where you want to go. Take every opportunity you have to move forward in your life.

ENJOY THE JOURNEY

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

I know very few people who wished they worried more. Most of us would give almost anything to have a successful strategy for reducing worry. When we worry it’s almost as if there is a hypnotic spell cast upon us. It’s all consuming and limits our ability to see the opportunities and possibilities that currently exist. It’s as if a huge cloud gets in the way of our seeing the sun and the light that it can give us.

Most likely this limited way of thinking has been a habit for quite some time. Our imagination runs wild and our mind conjures up various scenarios none of which have a happy ending. We can’t imagine any other possibilities. I know because I was like that and I didn’t like the way this mindset made me feel. Fortunately that has changed over the years.

Many years ago I had a big discovery. When I focused on what I was grateful for after meditation, I noticed that over time I became more optimistic. Even when I thought about some of my concerns I didn’t get plugged in as much. Rather than focusing on what could go wrong and what I didn’t like about my life, I focused on what could go right and what I like about my life. I focused on the good stuff. As my gratitude practice evolved, I noticed that I worried less.

This was just the first step in helping me overcome some of my limiting beliefs and disempowering ways of thinking. Focusing on what I was grateful for, helped shift my attitude. This change in attitude was just one aspect of my overall strategy to reduce worry. Over the years, I noticed my own tendencies and those of many of the people with whom I worked as an attorney and as a life coach. I discovered three important questions to ask yourself when you feel yourself excessively worrying. I have found that these questions have the potential to shift your focus from one of worry to one of possibility.

The first is, what is the worst that can happen? Remember worry is an irrational emotion. Quite often when we excessively worry, we feel as if we are forever stuck in a long and dark tunnel with no end to it. There is an acronym that reminds me of this truth: F.E.A.R.: False Evidence Appearing Real. When you worry, you can’t see clearly and you distort reality. You only see one possibility and not only does th tunnel seem darker, there doesn’t seem a way out.

I then ask myself, “How likely is it that what I’m worrying about will actually occur?” This inquiry gets me out of the irrational mode. When you are in the irrational mode you usually imagine the worst-case scenario. This inquiry forces me to detach from what I’m feeling, even if just for a few seconds. Once I’m feeling calmer, I’m ready to explore the likelihood of the particular thing I’m worrying about actually occurring. Usually I come to the conclusion that there is little likelihood of it happening.

The next inquiry I have found quite powerful. Ask yourself what the result would be if everything went your way. Very few of us consider this possibility. Even imagine things working out better than you expected. When you allow yourself to fully explore and imagine the possibilities of everything working out in your favor, with the same intensity of emotion that you have when you worry, before you know it, you’re out of your funk and excited again.

More often than not I am pleasantly surprised. We have no
way of knowing what is going to happen in the future, yet for
some reason when we worry we think we do. In the process
of training our minds to think more positively about the possibilities
in our life, life becomes less of a struggle and more of
an exciting journey of discovery. Since we know what it’s like
to dance on the river, we welcome what’s next.

ENJOY THE JOURNEY

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

In our quest to get on the positive side of change, many of us struggle with the ‘concept of success.’ I say ‘concept’ because success means different things to different people. One of the big problems that many people experience is that they latch onto a definition of success that is defined by someone else’s standards. The most common standards are related to career and financial success. How much money do we make and what have been our accomplishments in our careers?

The problem with this standard is where do you draw the line. How much money do you need to make before you can say that you are successful? And even if you make this amount, you might find other reasons why you don’t consider yourself successful. Success is a consciousness, not defined by what you do in the world.

It’s an inner state. So why not create you own standard for success. It is living from your highest values defined by you. And you can live from this state every day when you see your life from a much broader perspective.

When you think about how successful you are consider how you take care of yourself. Do you eat healthy? How are your relationships? Are you continuing to grow and evolve? Do you truly enjoy life? How often do you put a smile on your face?

Are you a person of integrity who means what they say and say what they mean? If you are, you are successful.

ENJOY THE JOURNEY

MARK
Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

Twelve years ago I made one of the biggest decisions in my life. I transitioned from being a successful trial lawyer to what I do now as an executive and life coach and motivational speaker.

Do I ever wonder if I made the right decision? Yes and more than on just a few occasions. That decision led to where I am now. Writing “Dancing on the River: Navigating Life’s Changes” was another important decision. I refer to it as a decision because there were many times when I could have just abandoned the project especially when I didn’t feel that I was making any progress…there were many days when I didn’t feel like writing and somedays the ideas and insights weren’t there….but I kept at it. I was persistent because I had the end result in mind and knew how fulfilled I would feel upon completion.

I am so thankful for that decision. It was a turning point. Since then I’ve been excited about my life, yet I still wonder at times if I made the right decision.

So doubts are part of it. They let you know that you have thoroughly thought about what you are getting yourself into. That second guessing doesn’t add anything to your life except add to your frustration and stress.

Even though your past hasn’t been perfect, you have been successful in many ways. The past has provided you with the insights and tools to enable you to get you where you are now. You now have the commitment to get ahead in your life. You know that what looks like a disappointment initially actually just might be an opportunity in disguise.

ENJOY THE JOURNEY

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

In a life coaching session yesterday with our good friend Carl, perhaps you know him by now, we discussed a recent disappointment that he had in his career. Carl lost a good client and felt disappointed and discouraged. Most of us would likely feel the same way Carl did. What distinguishes the happy and fulfilled person from the one who is not, is how they handle that disappointment and how long it takes them to snap out of it. I suggested to Carl that he reframe what disappointment means and to see it as a challenge. Of course it helps if you like challenges. Certainly it puts a more positive spin on your circumstances.

Let’s say that what happens in a particular situation doesn’t meet your expectations. Ask yourself what you learned from what happened and how you can integrate that learning into moving forward.

There is no advantage by feeling sorry for yourself and wishing things were different. They are what they are. What did you learn and what can you do now to move forward? There is nothing to be gained by wishing that things had turned out differently.

Assess where you are now and ask yourself what’s possible. Then ask yourself what could happen if what concerns you turns out better than expected. Every situation has the potential for positive possibilities. And while you are at it, enjoy the journey.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.