IT’S NEVER TOO LATE: Do you sometimes wonder what your life would have been like if you only kept at it? It could be any one of several things. It could be further developing a creative talent, or moving forward on a career opportunity. What would have happened if you followed through on that path?

In my case, I often wonder how my life would have turned out If I kept at the Clarinet or Saxophone? Could I have had a professional career? Although I wonder at times what it would have been like, I’m glad I made the decisions that I did. I’m sure you wonder at times. No matter where we are in our lives, we come to those crossroads and make a decision to follow a path as far as we can to see where it goes.

But if we change paths too often, we’ll never know what it is to have a sense of mastery which is rewarding in itself. It gives us a glimpse of an awareness that pervades our entire life.

Perhaps you’ve had a sense of it at times. It’s not too late to recreate that feeling, but it takes discipline and commitment. That’s what it took for me to finish writing Dancing on the River. I was out of the habit of writing and forgot why I wrote in the first place. I forgot how whole it made me feel.

I forced myself to sit down and write until it became a new habit. You might wonder how long it it takes to develop a new habit. According to experts, it takes at least 30 days of repeating the same habit or thought until it becomes a new pattern. Many of us never get there because we are impatient and don’t give it a chance. Sometimes we think that it’s too late and we can’t go back.

While it’s true that we can’t go back, it’s never too late to try what we use to do in a new way–a way that’s more impactful, more revealing and more exciting.

What are your beliefs that limit your ability to give it another whirl? What is in the way of your committing? Take the first step and then from there go on to the next one.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released May 22, 2010.

Who is in control of your life? Many of us are control freaks. We like to control what we do, who are friends are and how we spend our time. We are also led to believe that we create our reality. If that isn’t control then I don’t what is. This theme is a common thread with many of the people with whom I work with as both their executive and life coach.

Let me tell you about what came up with let’s call her, Susie, one of my life coaching clients. Susie, a brilliant professional woman, was extremely frustrated in her job. She was used to having her life exactly the way she wanted and creating success in whatever she did. However she had reached the point in her life when she felt more and more that her job did not fully engage her. Not only that but she found herself working harder and making less. She often wondered why she was there and what her alternatives were.

Up until recently she had felt that she had created a great life and was proud of it; a great family, success in her career and enthusiasm for living. Because she now felt at a crossroads she began to feel like a victim of circumstances. After all she was affected by the macro economic conditions, she thought to herself.

That raises the bigger question for all of us as to who is really in control of our lives. Is it our thoughts? Is it our habits? Or are we controlled by forces that we are unaware of?

When our habits control our lives, we pretty much go unconscious and our choices seem limited. Becoming more conscious is beginning the process of discovering how our habits run our life.

Be conscious. Be aware of how you get plugged in. Noticing is the first step in taking back your life. Notice when you get frustrated. Don’t try to figure it. For your curiosity there is a self assessment test on my website that takes under three minutes to do.

Journey On

As I wrote in the last blog I would explore in greater detail the power of curiosity. In many ways it goes hand in hand with how we explore our imagination.

What I find interesting is that when one worries, they imagine the worst case scenario. Think about it for a second. Imagine something that you worry about. If nothing comes to you, stay with me here as I’ll share with you a situation that is real common with some of my life coaching clients. They overly concern themselves with money. They project into the future that they will run out of money. If things are going well, they worry that it won’t stay that way. And if things aren’t going well, they worry that they’ll even get even worse.

When one worries they have a strong belief that they can predict the future. Quite often that worry is just a habit that has been with us for a long time. The truth is that we don’t really know what’s going to happen down the road. But we have a need to know, so we latch onto something which is familiar…a familiar emotion that’s been with us most of our life.

The first step in breaking free of this emotion, is realizing that you can’t predict the future. No one can. Once you accept that and become comfortable with “not knowing,” you can play more with your imagination and imagine a future scenario that is greater than anything you can imagine right now.

Being curious as to what that scenario is a fun exploration. Try it and see what happens. I’m excited about my book, Dancing on the River—Navigating Life’s Changes. I’m curious as to what it will lead to. I’m curious as to who I will meet in the process of letting people know about my book. I’m comfortable with not knowing. I’m curious as to what I’ll learn about myself.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will

Wherever we are in life’s evolutionary cycle, we eventually come to the same realization. The outward journey of seeking success is only temporarily fulfilling. Finding joy and meaning is an inner journey. On this journey we cultivate an empowering attitude, which is a reflection of a life decision that we make to be happy and to enjoy life in this moment. We have discovered that our enjoyment and appreciation of life is not dependent on what might happen in the future. It takes a while to come to this realization, but once you do, you have the potential to awaken to a rich inner life that is more fulfilling than you can imagine.

It is my hope that by integrating the following six insights and practices into your life, you will know what it means to be Dancing on the River.

1.How you start your day sets the tone for the day. If you start the day in a hurry it will be extremely difficult to slow down. Most of us rush out of the house in the morning trying to make an appointment or deadline. Underneath the concern that we won’t be able to get it all done is an underlying anxiety that won’t go away.
You sometimes wish you had a magic wand that could make things better. Although there is no magic wand, there is a morning practice that can minimize much of that anxiety. After you wake up and before you do anything else, take 10-15 minutes for reflection. Perhaps you already have a meditation practice. If you don’t, just sit still in a quiet place and pay attention to your breath.
After meditation begin to focus on what you are grateful for. Perhaps there are only a few things that you can think of in the beginning, but once you make this a daily practice, you realize how blessed you are. By focusing on what you are grateful for, your focus shifts to what’s right in your life, rather than on what’s wrong. It’s an amazing practice, which has the power to transform your life.

2. Develop the practice of Curiosity. I didn’t realize how powerful of a concept this could be until I integrated it into my life. Here’s what I suggest to get you going. In the morning, after expressing gratitude, reflect upon your day wondering about what the highlight of your day might be. By being curious as to what that is, you’ll create a positive expectation as the day progresses. No matter what is happening in your life, rather than worrying about the outcome, be curious as to how it is all going to unfold. By being curious, you’re also open to those pleasant surprises—those moments of grace that uplift your spirit.

3. Learn how to recognize and know your VOJ. The VOJ is that voice of judgment that drives you nuts. You know it. We all do. You would give anything to silence it even if just for a few minutes. The sooner that you can recognize your VOJ, the sooner you can become free of the hypnotic spell that can last a lifetime if you don’t do anything about it. But the doing is a different type of doing. It’s just noticing. I have found that giving this voice a name has been effective in breaking the spell that it has over me. I call my VOJ, Ralph. This is a lifelong challenge so don’t be discouraged if you don’t notice anything immediately.

4. Self-Acceptance is the next practice. Let’s be honest with ourselves. There are certain things we can’t change about ourselves. We can’t change who are parents are. We can’t change our country of origin. We can’t change all of the injustices in the world, although we might try. But we do have the potential to change how we think about ourselves and how we think about the circumstances of our lives. Even though, we are our own worst critics at times, our work is to accept those things that we don’t like about ourselves—that dark side often referred to as our “shadow.” Once you accept those things about yourself that you don’t like or are embarrassed by, you will feel lighter and freer. 
And isn’t that what it’s all about–becoming lighter.

5. Introduce positive self-talk into the conversation. Now that you are more familiar with those voices and patterns that have been running your life, it’s time to listen to a new voice that needs to be nurtured and cultivated. It’s a voice if honored and respected can change how you think about yourself. I call this voice your VIP. It’s the voice of Inspiration and Praise that we don’t listen to, or hear enough. That voice has become my inner champion. When I think that I shouldn’t have felt the way I did about something that happened, or that I shouldn’t have acted in a certain way, my VIP sends me a few words of encouragement, by saying to me, “you’re doing great. You handled that well.”

It takes conscious effort and resolve to cultivate your VIP. As you learn to trust and listen to it, how you feel about your life shifts.

6. Make time for the Jollies. So here we are again with another new phrase. No I haven’t lost my mind. 
We all have faced our share of challenges that at times seems overwhelming. Even so, there are many things that have given us joy at one time or the other. They might be little things that we have forgotten about.
The Jollies is taking the time to do what gives you joy. So when I say make time for the jollies–I mean make time for what gives you “joy,”
 even if you still have loose ends in your life and your “to do” list is full. It took me a while to figure this out, but there will always be “loose ends” and uncertainty. If you always wait for the perfect time to begin something new, you will never begin. The only perfect time is now.

So there you have it—There’s only one thing left to do. Enjoy the journey and make it an exciting adventure. of discovery. This blog has been adapted from my forthcoming book, Dancing on the River, which will be released on May 1st.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released May 1, 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com

When I spoke with Carl, a new life coaching client this morning, we focused on what the three biggest life lessons of his life have been up to this point in time. Just for a second imagine that you are giving a talk to a group…you could be a motivational speaker, a teacher, or talking with a group of friends who are longing to know what your pearls of wisdom are. I’m sure you’ll have your unique twist as to what they are. Back to Carl.

His first pearl was to take everything in stride. Don’t let your emotions run your life. Too often we overreact to events in our lives, especially if they are negative. We start to wonder if these sequence of events will ever end. We start to imagine the worst case scenarios occurring.

2. Then Carl said the following in his own voice. Happiness is an inside job. There’s nothing out there that will give you lasting happiness. Sure it might make you happy for a while, but it won’t last. Happiness is also a decision that you make in the moment over and over again. It’s a choice that is not dependent on future events or circumstances that might happen or not happen.

3. Nobody can do it for you. Ultimately you know yourself better than anyone else does. You have to decide. You might have to go against the grain and go out on a limb. But that’s what is needed at times.

Keep thinking about what’s true for you. Most likely it will change from time to time.

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released May 1, 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

What I’ve noticed with, we’ll call him, Les in our life coaching sessions, is that Les knows it all. What i mean by that is that he knows all of the answers. He has enough knowledge for ten people but not wisdom.

You can’t obtain wisdom unless you make time for the inner work. Les has resistance to sitting down and taking time for reflection. He rather talk with others and ask them for the answers. But he keeps asking the same questions and doesn’t like what the answers are, so he asks the next person. As a result, he spends his time managing one crisis after another. This cycle never stop and it won’t unless Les sits down and gets to know himself.

He’ll blame his wife, the economy, or his genetics, among other things, for his predicament. Les is the exception. I’ve worked with many individuals who have transformed their lives. They realized that happiness is the result of a life decision to be happy in this moment that they make over and over again. They realize that there is a direct correlation with how they start day and the quality of their life. With that in mind they sit down and meditate before starting their day. I’ve seen it in my own life and with countless others.

There’s no one to blame. You are the answer.

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released May 1, 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

A familiar theme that keeps coming up with my life coaching clients is that no matter how successful they are in the world, they are not excited about their life. Not only that, but things are not the way they were. Things have changed, but they have not kept up with the new paradigm. There’s a whole set of new rules and they are unfamiliar with them. They are stuck in their comfort zones and have been complacent. What I mean by complacent is that even though things are not the way they would like them to be, they aren’t willing to take the steps to make the necessary changes.

Navigating life’s changes both personally and globally has become an art form. You have to develop life skills, not just career skills. You have to cultivate an inner life separate from what you do in the world. Living from the center is a practice that you develop over time. If you have been following me, you know about the morning program that I suggest to begin your day. After meditating, express gratitude for your life exactly the way it is and then wonder about the highlight of the day.

Try this for 30 days and see what happens. I know i am just touching upon this briefly here and will go into more detail in a future blog. You’ll find out that being happy is a reflection of a life decision that you make; to be happy in this moment of time.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released May 1, 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

If you are reading this post, you are like most people. Let me tell you about Les. When Les discussed the issue of money with me in our life coaching session yesterday, he expressed his concern. He was worried about he would run out of money. The truth was that Les was secure for a few years. However Les had other concerns. Because he didn’t have a relationship with that special one, he would feel melancholy. He had no problem meeting women, but always found something that wasn’t quite right. We’ve all been there.

But Les like many of us lived his life with false assumptions. He believed that when his money concerns were resolved and he found the one that he could take a breath and relax. Les was right about one thing, slowing down and taking a deep breath goes along way toward giving you more peace of mind. But Les’s assumptions about how his life would be different if a few of his debts were handled, were just that…assumptions, not truth.

Life was suffering from what I call the “Only if syndrome.” If the circumstances of his life were different, then he believed that could begin to enjoy life again. The only problem with this syndrome is that he will always be living in the future….thinking that an unknown future, which never comes, will be better than his experience of what’s happening in this moment. The truth is that Les has always had concerns about money.

We are all like Les to a certain extent. There are aspect to our life that are unsettling that we believe if resolved would change how we feel…the problem is that with this mindset we are delaying our happiness. We have to commit to a path that gives us more peace of mind and enables us to live in the now. If you have been a reader of this blog, you know how strongly I feel about the benefits of a meditation and gratitude practice.

Take the time to explore what is involved in beginning a practice. For more info, feel free to contact me.

Journey On

Mark
Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released May 1, 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

I had an interesting conversation with let’s call him Les in our life coaching session yesterday. Les related that his aunt commented that his generation didn’t know how to party. Of course she came from a different vintage, and her idea of partying was different than Les’s.

What she meant was the ability to let go and to be free. However her sense of being free was more of a momentary feeling, often induced by alcohol…away from the workplace in a social gathering.

So Les and I engaged in a conversation as to what it means to party. In some ways our definitions were similar to his aunts, in that we also wanted to let go and to feel freer. Whereas hers was a momentary feeling, Les and most of the people that I work with as their life coach, want something that is deeper and more meaningful….they are looking for an inner freedom that allows them to truly be authentic.

Knowing what your values are is the first step in achieving that feeling. As you discover your core values and live your life in harmony with them, you’ll experience a freedom in the way you relate to the world. You no longer have to have an excuse to be different than who you are during most of your waking hours. When you live an authentic life, you experience the freedom to be yourself. From that freedom, what you do and say is a reflection of that inner state.

When you have that sense of freedom, you welcome and are grateful for the challenges that are in your life. You’re comfortable with not knowing what’s next. You have the confidence that whatever comes up you can navigate life’s changes.

I call that sense of freedom Dancing on the River.

Journey On

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released May 1, 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016