Archive for the ‘connection’ Category

Why I meditate!

Tuesday, June 16th, 2009

Many of us are familiar with the word “meditation”; some have experienced meditation in a class or workshop or church gathering. For me, that initial experience was sufficiently profound so that I was open to the opportunity to learn more.

I started becoming aware of meditation in the late 60’s and in the early 70’s. I was an attorney and musician at the time. This was a revolutionary and exciting era when many of our traditional values and beliefs were challenged. Even such basic institutions as family, religion and politics were reexamined.

The youth of the 60s and early 70s were open, albeit sometimes naïve, in looking at everyday
life in new ways. Few icons of Western culture escaped our scrutiny. We were accepting of
different cultures and political systems and increasingly receptive to Eastern philosophies and
cultures.

At the time, I encountered others who’d discuss meditation or were themselves meditators. In 1971 my life began falling apart. By December of that year, I decided to begin meditating. It was perhaps the most significant decision I’ve ever made.

Once I began meditating I started to feel hopeful about the future. I experienced new levels of consciousness and awareness and noticed moments of inner joy regardless of what was going on in my life. I soon developed a burning desire to understand what I was experiencing and read as much as I could about the spiritual and health benefits of meditation.

I was particularly interested in the health benefits of meditation. There’s a great body of literature that claims that long-term meditators have lower blood pressure and cholesterol readings; breathing slows, stress hormone levels fall and there is generally an increased sense of well being– and usually meditators seemed younger. On a practical level it made sense to me. And those occasional moments of tranquility were wonderful when they occurred but they were always unpredictable. The promise down the road intrigued me.

My challenge was to make the commitment. Once I did I made the time for my practice so that it could develop.

This required a leap of faith, but I soon noticed several important benefits. Through regular meditation practice, I was calmer and took less time to make decisions. I needed less sleep and had more energy.

It was interesting to me that I always seemed to have plenty of time to meditate and to do what I wanted. I now have an active practice as a life coach but even as an attorney, I always had plenty of time to enjoy my family, practice yoga, play music and meditate.

Many would be practitioners get hung up on the form or technique, thinking that there is one way that guarantees enlightenment. Whether to have a mantra, or to listen to the breath or to watch one’s thoughts becomes more important than actually meditating. The focus then becomes a search rather than a journey. Remember it’s the practice not the technique that makes a difference in your life.

The technique or form of meditation is a means to take us from the external to inner states of being. I like to use the metaphor of a huge lake with an island in the center. The shores of the lake represent the outer world and the island represents the deepest parts of our being where we connect with the infinite intelligence of the universe.

The concept of NAMASTE is a way of saying that the deepest part of my being is connected to the deepest most sacred part of yours. It’s another way of describing what is possible through meditation.

In the early years, my commitment to a daily practice and belief in the ultimate benefits of meditation kept me going. That is not the case now. Over time, my relationship to my practice transformed and I no longer require an external reason to meditate. I no longer meditate because I made a commitment.

When I meditate consistently, I feel happier, more content and more connected to everyone and everything in my universe. There are fewer bad days. I don’t need as much sleep; I am more enthusiastic about each day and have a deeper experience of inner peace. When I don’t meditate, I feel like something is missing. I look forward to getting up in the morning to meditate. It sets the tone for the rest of the day. I look back over the last thirty years and think of all the changes that have occurred in the world and in my personal life. I have no control over these changes and there will be many more to come. But to an extent, I can control my reaction to these changes and events.

The one constant in my life has been my meditation practice– and no one can take that away from me. It is not like a job or a relationship or a world event that is unpredictable. Choosing to meditate is totally within my domain.

At this point in my life it is the communion with the spirit nature of my being that gives my life real meaning. For me, that is the result of the meditation. I don’t even question it. If I miss a session once in a while I don’t make a big deal of it because I know I will return to it the following day. And on that day, I may smile for no reason or even lose my ability to worry.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow’s life has been an unfolding journey of discovery. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

Why Smiling Makes you Feel Good!

Wednesday, June 10th, 2009

Smiles, frowns, and grimaces were once seen simply as expressions of feelings. However, researchers now see the face as a body organ of it’s own. Increasingly, scientists are realizing that facial expressions precede feelings and play a role in generating them.

The “Facial Feedback” theory proposes that if you ask a person to smile, she soon begins to experience the pleasant feeling associated with that expression. How? When you breathe through your nose, you exert pressure on the veins in your face. When you bring air through your nose, you bring air into your nasal passages, which cools the veins and the blood flowing through them. And when you use the “smile muscles” at the corners of your mouth, you change the direction of the blood flow inside your face in such a way that it causes the temperature of the blood to drop. This cooler blood enters the region of the brain known as the hypothalamus and causes the release of chemicals that can suppress pain and help a person to feel better.

Cooling the blood may promote the release of endorphins, which, decreases pain and gives you a lift. In short, smiling instructs our brains to feel good.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Throughout his life, Mark has always made a practice of taking a leap of faith whenever he heard the call for something more. His life has been an unfolding journey of discovery. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

RECOMMIT TO YOUR BETTER SELF

Monday, June 8th, 2009

We all have a desire to be seen or heard and to be acknowledged. We’re constantly working on ourselves to become a better person. There’s nothing more gratifying than knowing that we have positively impacted another’s life. It reminds us that we are on the right path. It encourages us to become the best we can be and to fully express ourselves. With that in mind, we work on cultivating a life force more expansive than our physicality. It’s that essence–that quality about who we are–that is often remembered more, than what we looked like or what we said. We wonder what we can do to cultivate this inner quality, which transcends how we show up in the world. We think of this energy as charisma or presence.

Let’s turn our attention to what we can do to expand the life force inside of us. Most, if not all of us, live too much in our heads. Our thoughts control our lives. So much so, that instead of moving forward, our good intentions, stay in our minds and don’t get acted upon.

Perhaps the most important thing you can do to shift this pattern is to live from the heart. Cultivating a spiritual practice is the pathway that leads to this way of being. There are several forces at play here. Initially you have to make a commitment to the practice, which will support you in overcoming your resistance. Resistance prevents you from moving forward and living life fully. This is especially so when cultivating a spiritual practice or discipline. That’s why it’s referred to as a “practice or discipline.” Meditation, Yoga and Tai Chi are all practices that I have worked with at various times of my life. All of them cultivate the energetic life force which often shows up in the form of magnetism or enthusiasm. As an added bonus, several studies have documented the health benefits of these various practices. Not only will your ability to handle stress become better, but the benefits to your immune system are enormous.

When speaking to groups or to individual clients, I have noticed that many people struggle with finding their life purpose and the meaning of life. Because of this they sometimes feel lonely and alienated. This won’t change until they develop a connection with a higher power, greater than they are. Once they do, they will be reminded that they share this universe with many other species.

A spiritual practice is a great beginning, but just one piece of the pie. You still need to do more to expand your life force. I am a firm believer in the value of movement. There is nothing more profound than exercise to get your energy moving. Tell the truth. How often do you exercise? By exercising you get the endorphins going. Instead of feeling sluggish, you feel an energy that wasn’t there just a few minutes before. No matter how I am feeling emotionally, after about fifteen minutes of cardio, I feel much better. But as I have said before, you have to do the work.

Once you are grounded in a spiritual practice and exercise consistently, the next step, which is to live passionately, is not too much of a stretch. Finding something that you are passionate about becomes a reason for living. No matter what it is, that passion positively affects other areas of your life. In my former career as a trial attorney there were times when I was passionate about my work. But for the most part as time went on, it became mainly a business to me and I lost my passion for my career. If I didn’t have a passion for playing music and for my spiritual life, I would have felt like I was just going through the motions. Since I did have those passions, no matter what I was doing, I was able to bring my enthusiasm with me.

The final step is to develop a consciousness of Impeccability, which extends beyond where you ordinarily stop. Most of us have a sense of integrity in our relationship with others. We do what we say we are going to do. We’re reluctant to let someone down, even agreeing to things that perhaps we don’t really want to do. As a result, quite often when we say “Yes” to someone else, we are saying “No” to ourselves… to those life-empowering agreements we have made with ourselves…such as taking the time for our spiritual practice, our self-care program which includes exercise and eating healthier. So often when we wake up in the morning we say to ourselves, “I’m not in the mood. I’ll skip it today.” I know that one well. The trap we can fall into, is that we might say the same thing the next day, and before we know it, we are out of the habit.

Resistance prevents us from fully recommitting to our better self. It affects everything we do in some way. It might be “not doing something” or it might be “not participating fully.” By developing a consciousness of impeccability we have an inner resource that helps us overcome our resistance. Imagine what your life would be like, if once you said you were going to do something, there was no more discussion and you did it.

Many years ago, my son Josh brought home from the gym a quote that uses the word Workout as a metaphor for that consciousness of Impeccability. Take the liberty to use a different word than workout if you feel so inclined.

A workout is 25 percent perspiration and 75 percent determination. Stated another way it is one part physical exertion and three parts self discipline.

A workout makes you better today than you were yesterday.
It strengthens the body, relaxes the mind and toughens the spirit. When you work out regularly your problems diminish and your confidence grows.

A workout is a wise use of time and investment in excellence. It is a way of preparing for life’s challenges and proving to yourself that you have what it takes to do what is necessary.

A workout is a key that helps unlock the door to opportunity and success. Hidden within each of us is an extraordinary force. Physical and mental fitness are the triggers that can release it.

A workout is a form of rebirth. When you finish a workout you do not simply feel better, you feel better about yourself.

I love hearing from you. Let me know what is going on in your life. Please feel free to forward Letters on Life to those in your circle.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Throughout his life, Mark has always made a practice of taking a leap of faith whenever he heard the call for something more. His life has been an unfolding journey of discovery. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

ONE STEP AT A TIME

Thursday, June 4th, 2009

Lately I have been riding my Mt Bike. Yesterday I rode from my house to Bon Tempe which is one of the upper lakes. The first part of the climb isn’t too bad. In fact it’s a good workout but not necessarily challenging. But it’s the next part, from four corners to the upper lakes that is challenging. The incline is much steeper. In fact if you look up it seems daunting. yet you know that the steep part is not very far.

It’s just a few hundred yards…but that stretch is the challenge; on some occasions I have had to stop and walk my bike. I wanted to break this pattern.

Instead of wondering if I could make it to the top, I just focused on the step or two immediately in front of me. I didn’t look to see how far I had to go. For me the choice was simple. By breaking it down into small segmentss I didn’t notice any slope. It was only when I looked at the top that I noticed the steepness. As I pedaled focusing on what was immediately in front of me I reached the top and continued on my way. I wasn’t tired or winded and it was as if I was riding on a level trail.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Throughout his life, Mark has always made a practice of taking a leap of faith whenever he heard the call for something more. His life has been an unfolding journey of discovery. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

Creating More Presence in your Life

Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009

Whether as a life coach or when speaking to groups, I am often asked whether we can create more presence in our life. We certainly can. Since charisma and presence is a form of energy, the question is how do you go about creating energy– And then there’s the question of what type of energy.

If you look at charisma or presence as magnetism then charisma can be used in a good or bad way depending on the intention of the person…There are some people that are just plain charismatic no matter what they do…But let’s talk about what we can do to create it in our lives…To me charisma is a matter of creating more presence. So how do you do that?

1.Increase your energy by exercising and breathing fully….
2.Have a discipline like meditation, yoga or Tai Chi that creates prana or chi.
3.Be aware of the phrasing and cadence of your words.
4.Eat lots of fruits and vegetables in that they contain a lot of water which is what our body needs.
5.Be aware of your environment.
6.Notice how you move or dance.
7.Be a little unpredictable.
8.Find something that you are passionate about…that will transfer to other areas of your life.
9.Develop a connection with a higher power.
10. Become impeccable-keep your agreements not only to other people, but to yourself. Most of us are pretty good when it comes to keeping agreements with other people. The challenge is to to keep them with ourselves….to eat healthier, to exercise, to practice self-care.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Throughout his life, Mark has always made a practice of taking a leap of faith whenever he heard the call for something more. His life has been an unfolding journey of discovery. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

DISCIPLINE LEADS TO FREEDOM

Monday, May 18th, 2009

Discipline has come easy to me. I have found that discipline has actually given me a sense of freedom. I am sure you have been in the presence of musicians who seem like they have been playing together. I have had that experience observing other musicians as well as playing with them. Quite often, someone might say to me, “How long have you been playing together?” Actually it was the first time. Why were we able to create that magic? It was the discipline practicing the scales for hours that gave us the freedom when we played our instruments. It was also working on our sound. Dancers have the same experience. All of the hours of not just learning the routines and sequences, but the hours of preparing the body to be open and flexible so that in a performance there is a grace and elegance.

And preparing for a presentation is the same way. Preparation and becoming familiar with the material goes a long way toward giving you a freedom in your delivery. The better you know the material, the more you can get into the presentation and have a certain fluidity in your delivery.

Although many people think of discipline as a form of repetition and confining, that’s what gives you that sense of freedom. Yet some people still have resistance to the concept of discipline. I have many good friends who are like that.

This is where you might want to think in terms of impeccability. Impeccability is a consciousness which not only encompasses discipline but much more. It’s a statement about who you are. It’s a state that you can grow into.

Imagine giving your word to yourself to exercise, to eat well or practice your art form. Keeping your word to yourself is powerful and takes a high level of commitment and will. But still we let down and justify it by thinking that we are not perfect and it’s ok to cut ourselves a little slack. Nothing wrong with that approach.

But imagine if you think in terms of impeccability when you don’t keep your word to yourself. Would you feel different? Would you stay on purpose? You know you would. For a moment think about how you can make that shift in your life. And how would it make a difference in your life?

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Throughout his life, Mark has always made a practice of taking a leap of faith whenever he heard the call for something more. His life has been an unfolding journey of discovery. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

ON THE OTHER SIDE OF DISCIPLINE

Saturday, May 16th, 2009

In the last blog we talked about developing a self-care program. I also asked you to think about what it means to be impeccable.

Lets start with being disciplined, which in my mind, is the key to beginning a self-care program. Developing discipline is a necessary step on the road to impeccability. Many years ago, while in law school, I attended a lecture given by a nurse on the benefits of fasting. I was inspired. For over thirty years I have cleansed at least twice a year for at least 5-8 days at a stretch. It’s been quite an experience and I always look forward to it. I always feel better for the experience.

But to make it happen requires a great deal of self-discipline. It’s saying no to your habits. It’s saying no to what you unconsciously put into your body. It’s becoming more conscious. It’s allowing yourself to experience life in a new way. Over time, it’s no longer a matter of discipline, but a matter of choice.

You feel so good that you don’t want to go backwards. You keep going. And that’s the way it has been for me with meditation. With regular practice, I feel much better than when I don’t meditate. It becomes a way of life. I couldn’t imagine my life without it. All of self-care is that way. First make a conscious choice as to what you want to integrate into your life. And commit for 30 days. Then reevaluate. See what happens. It looks like I didn’t get to impeccability. Oh well. I’ll do it in the next blog.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Throughout his life, Mark has always made a practice of taking a leap of faith whenever he heard the call for something more. His life has been an unfolding journey of discovery. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

Navigating Life’s Changes

Wednesday, May 13th, 2009

We all have a unique way of communicating our story, a way that reflects our life experiences. The photographer uses a camera, the artist a brush, and the musician a melody or rhythm. As the years go by there is more to tell as we experience more of life. As we keep evolving we look through a different filter, paint with a different color, sing a different song or feel a different rhythm.
When you have children, June is the time for graduations. It was six years ago that my son, Josh, graduated from high school and then a few years later my daughter, Makaela, graduated. This year it is my youngest, Savanna’s turn. Graduations are symbolic of the transitions in life. In some ways we are always transitioning from one phase to another, each with its challenges and opportunities.
I think back as I eagerly await the graduation ritual. There’s always a field in the midst of a picturesque setting with mountains in the background. And then it begins. I look toward the stage. I listen with one ear to what the various speakers have to say while my mind races in overdrive. I think about how rapidly my children have changed and how I have had to let go of some of my expectations in order to stay connected to them. There’s more work to do. It was at Josh’s graduation that this message hit home. During the principle’s talk to the students and their families, she made reference to Spencer Johnson’s classic parable about change, “Who Moved My Cheese.”
It is a paradox of life that while our children change rapidly, we as adults try to put the brakes on the speed of change. We like to think to some degree we are in control of our life by holding on to what we’re used too.

“No,” Hem quickly responded. “I like it here. It’s comfortable. It’s what I know. Besides it’s dangerous out there.”
Johnson, Spencer “Who Moved My Cheese?”

Just like Hem, we have artfully crafted a comfort zone, although familiar, keeps us boxed in. That’s the way it was for me. During many periods of my life, I became attached to the way things were, resisting the changes that were necessary for me to grow. It could be a career or a relationship. I finally took that Leap of Faith and left the comfort of my law practice, ten years ago, to begin the journey that I am on now.
By making this change, I have created the breathing room that has allowed me to grow into the person I am today. Although this path has been unpredictable at times, I have learned how to navigate life’s changes. In the process of becoming an expanded person, we develop a deeper sense of who were are and a deeper sense of self. Some of these changes we intentionally create, such as my career change, while others just happen. Change is a constant process. What is challenging for some of us to accept, is that as our bodies change (just take a look at some of your old pictures) your physiology and chemistry also changes. By the time you’ve reached the wisdom years, you’ve been through many cycles. Even though these changes were not necessarily what you were expecting you have learned how to navigate these deeper waters. Although I’ve felt my share of fear and pain during some of these transitions, I’ve learned how to let go and trust that I will land on my feet. And I usually do. The letting go offers me a new experience of life…in which I experience all it, the pains, the sorrows, and the joys that gives me a newfound vitality and excitement. A life in which everyday is new, although not necessarily fun. I know I’m alive and have a deeper sense of myself. I smile and laugh again.
Perhaps Anais Nin says it best. “Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it.”
I recognize that there is a natural rhythm of life, much like the rhythm of the seasons that is constantly changing. At times we experience a stillness and at other times a quickening. There are moments when your heart feels full and then at other times you feel contracted. And then there are those moments when for no reason at all, you experience a deep sense of joy and fulfillment. Of course the other side of that is also true, when for no apparent reason, you feel a profound sadness.
When you flow with this natural rhythm and encompass it all, rather than trying to resist the aspects that you don’t want to experience, you experience an effortless quality in your life. You instinctively know what to do and life just seems to work. Life is easy…more fun…more meaningful…and less of a struggle. You are excited about getting up in the morning and feel like you have a purpose.
You probably want to know what you can do, so that you can flow with this natural rhythm. Honor the transitions. They are the catalyst for you to be with yourself Be grateful for them. Know that when you are feeling pain, that like the wind, even though it still hurts, it won’t last forever. When the winds change, and they always do, the clouds of despair lift and you experience a deeper sense of joy and meaning in the midst of this change. It could happen in a heartbeat.
Look forward to this change as opportunity, as adventure, as possibility. Accept and love those feelings and qualities about yourself that you so often try to avoid. As you look inward and take time for reflection through meditation and prayer you experience a deeper sense of inner peace. As you become more accepting of the fully integrated you, you become more accepting of your humanity. It is the acceptance of your humanity that you know we are all connected.
Let me know what is changing in your life. I love receiving your many responses and feedback. Thank you and keep them coming. Feel free to pass this letter on to the friends in your circle and let them know about the advantages of being on the journey.

Journey On

Mark

Throughout his life, Mark has always made a practice of taking a leap of faith whenever he heard the call for something more. His life has been an unfolding journey of discovery. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

Do you know your ultimate destiny?

Sunday, May 3rd, 2009

Almost everything that I have done in my life has been a stepping stone for something greater down the road, even thought I didn’t know it at the time. Perhaps you wonder if you embarked upon a wrong path. You might even think that you are wasting your time. What does that really mean? As I have said we learn from everything.

Perhaps when comparing the past to what we know now, we might think that we could have avoided some of the steps we took and some of the wrong turns. It might have been a bad relationship or a mistake in trusting a friend. It might have been selecting the wrong major in college or a dead-end job.

There have been times in my life when I have been most productive, and times when nothing seemed to get done. Both were necessary for my growth and evolution.

I don’t think we can waste time, even though I spent a year and a half in graduated school that I can’t figure out what it contributed to my life. But when I think back I realize that it kept me out of the draft. We have know way of knowing what our ultimate destiny is. Just about everything that I have done or experienced when looking back at it comes together like an invisible web. But it’s only in looking back with hindsight that the web begins to become visible.

Trust that it’s all unfolding as it should. Everyone you meet and every experience you have is all grist for the mill. You learn from it and it contributes to who you are today – even the so-called negative things.

We keep repeating the lessons of the past until we learn them and then we are ready to move on. It took many relationships to become clear as to what I wanted in a soul-mate. With each one, I learned more about myself. That’s the purpose of our life’s experiences. With each one, we learn more about ourselves and what is important to us.

It’s a lifelong journey of discovery. Enjoy the journey. Happiness is a choice that you make each moment. And remember to smile and laugh a little bit more than yesterday.

JOURNEY ON,
MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, JD, is an Executive and Life Coach who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former successful trial attorney for 30 years as well as a musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. To sign up, visit his website, http://www.inspirepossibility.com

Embracing Change

Saturday, April 18th, 2009

We all have a unique way of communicating our story, a way that reflects our life experiences. The photographer uses a camera, the artist a brush, and the musician a melody or rhythm. As the years go by our story changes and there is more to tell. We look through a different filter, paint with a different color, sing a different song or feel a different rhythm.

When you have kids, you are reminded that graduations are a time for transition. In some ways we are always transitioning from one phase to another. We are presented with new challenges and opportunities and a new way to look at things.

It seems that in our family there is always a graduation. With one ear I listen to what the various speakers have to say. I think about how rapidly my children have changed and how I have had to let go of some of my expectations in order to stay connected to them.

As I eagerly awaited the moment of my son’s graduation, still just “listening with one ear,” the valedictorian read an inspiring poem and a few students performed original inspirational songs for the occasion. And then the principal addressed the students and their families. She made reference to Spencer Johnson’s classic parable about change, “Who Moved My Cheese.”

It is a paradox of life that while our children change rapidly, we as adults try to put the brakes on the speed of change. We like to think to some degree we are in control of our life by holding on to what we’re used too.

“No,” Hem quickly responded. “I like it here. It’s comfortable. It’s what I know. Besides it’s dangerous out there.”
Johnson, Spencer “Who Moved My Cheese?”

Just like Hem we all live in our comfort zone. It’s what we know. During many periods of my life I’ve become attached to the way things are, resisting the change that might bring it to an end. Eventually it does end. And then I’m faced with a choice. Either be unhappy or adjust to the new phase which was not necessarily what I was expecting. Through the years I’ve learned how to let go and trust that the changes that I experience in this new phase will be exciting, vibrant and full of new challenges. This letting go offers me a new way to look at life… a life in which everyday is new.

Haw said, ”Sometimes, Hem, things change and they are never the same again. This looks like one of those times. That’s life! Life moves on. And so should we.”
Johnson, Spencer. “Who Moved My Cheese?”

Nature has always been one of my most important teachers. Just look at nature’s cycles. Trees bud in the spring and by summer they are full of delicious fruit. In the Autumn, the leaves with their vibrant colors fall from the trees wistfully to the ground. By the time winter arrives most of the trees are barren and the cycle begins anew. You know for certain there’s an intelligence in nature’s way of doing things.

What if we looked at our lives in this way? We know it will be colder in the winter and warmer in the summer, so we dress accordingly. We don’t resist the cycles of nature, so why should we resist the cycles of our lives?

Now, here’s the good part. Since change is coming, we have a golden opportunity. Enjoy the moments fully when things are going well but don’t be attached to them. Be grateful for these moments and cherish them. When things aren’t going so well and you feel discouraged, see your circumstances as temporary just like the wind. Too often, when we are having a hard time, we think it will be forever. As the winds change, you can look forward to a better future. It could happen in a hearbeat. By embracing change as a way of life, you can look forward to change as opportunity, as adventure, as possibility.

It is essential that you have the tools to prepare yourself for this new way of thinking. There’s an increasing awareness of teachings from all walks of life that encourage us to be more open and flexible. As you look inward and take time for reflection through meditation and prayer you become more accepting of our differences and unique rhythms. As you continue on the journey you learn how to embrace change as a way of life.

JOURNEY ON AND DON’T FORGET TO SMILE AND LAUGH A LITTLE BIT MORE THAN YESTERDAY

MARK

Throughout his life, Mark has always made a practice of taking a leap of faith whenever he heard the call for something more. His life has been an unfolding journey of discovery. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016