There’s no better time than now to enjoy your life and experience it as an exciting journey of discovery. Nothing needs to happen-it’s an internal shift of consciousness. Dancing on the River, is an attitude that is a reflection of a life decision to be happy in the moment that you make over and over again. Unfortunately too many of us find a litany of reasons and excuses not to be happy. We focus on what’s wrong or what might go wrong rather than on what’s right. We often think to ourselves, if only this were different, I could be happy. We are constantly reminded by the 24/7 media of what’s wrong in our society. Many of us feel boxed in and our options seem limited.

The good news is that we have the power to change our attitudes, once we change the underlying beliefs behind them. When we live from our center and expand our sense of self, we begin to consider possibilities in our lives that at one time we didn’t know existed. It’s like climbing a mountain. When we begin our climb what we see is limited. It’s only when we reach the higher peaks that our view is expanded. We’re able to see things that we’ve never seen before.

There is a natural evolution to life’s unfolding. Changing how you think is the result of many years of self-exploration and inquiry. Many of us struggle with a negative self-image that limits what we think is possible in our life. As a result we’re reluctant to make changes or try anything new. We play it safe, remain stuck in our comfort zone and watch the river of life flow by without us.

These limiting beliefs, which are at the core of our negative self-image, affect our relationships, our careers and what we believe is possible. I’m sure you’re familiar with most of them. The phrase “I’m not” is common to most all of these beliefs.
I’m not lovable
I’m not good enough
I do not deserve to be successful
I cannot make enough money

These beliefs are the filters through which we see the world. If you want to see life differently you need to change your lens. The lens isn’t going to change overnight, but at some point you have to begin the process. For many years, I struggled with the belief that I wasn’t successful. I was in a profession that ranked you by wins and losses, how much money you made and who your clients were. The problem was that no matter how well you were doing , there was always someone who was doing better. I got over it. I created my own definition of success. Here’s what I came up with: It’s more than making money. It’s more than being recognized by your peers in a career. It’s about liking who you are. It’s about being happy. It’s about having loving relationships. As I continued to focus on the inner work, my expanded view of success and what’s possible became integrated into my belief system. I was no longer restrained by my comfort zone. I let go of my resistance and became curious about what was next. It was no longer a question of if, but a question of when. Soon after, I took a leap of faith and made the career change from trial lawyer to life coach.

What helped me in the integration process was that after meditating, I expressed gratitude for the success that was in my life. Focusing on what you are grateful for shifts your focus from what you don’t have or what isn’t working to what you do have and what is working. Eventually I began to think of myself as successful. My success didn’t depend on the circumstances of my life, but was an inherent belief about who I was as a person.

Not only did expressing gratitude help me see myself as successful, it helped me overcome my tendency to worry. I know this tendency places me in good company. When I feel myself worrying excessively there are three questions I ask myself:

• The first is, what is the worst that can happen? Remember
worry is an irrational emotion.

• I then ask myself, “How likely is it that what I’m worrying
about will occur?” This question gets me out of the irrational mode. When you are in the irrational mode you usually imagine the worst-case scenario. This inquiry forces me to detach from what I’m feeling, even if just for a few seconds. Once I’m feeling calmer, I’m ready to explore the likelihood of the particular thing I’m worrying about actually occurring. Usually I come to the conclusion that there is little
likelihood of it happening.

• The next inquiry I have found quite powerful. Ask yourself what the result would be if everything went your way. Very few of us consider this possibility. When you allow yourself to fully explore and imagine the possibilities of everything working out in your favor, with the same intensity of emotion that you have when you worry, before you know it, you’re out of your funk and excited again. More often than not I am pleasantly surprised.

We have no way of knowing what will happen in the future, yet for some reason when we worry we think we do. We don’t like uncertainty. But it’s learning to play the edge of uncertainty that is so liberating. We have a desire to know what the future might bring, yet it’s being curious about where the river is taking us that will give us a feeling of excitement and adventure. This feeling of aliveness is what I call Dancing on the River. The truth is that none of us really know what’s ahead. But when we’re curious life becomes less of a struggle and more of an exciting journey of discovery. We welcome what’s next.

Eventually there is a turning point, when most of our thoughts are on what’s right, rather than on what’s wrong; on possibility rather than limitation. We’ll still have concerns and moments of doubt, but we’ll be excited by what we discover as we continue to explore this great mystery that we call life.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of, Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes.

Most of you who read this blog have been on the path of self-discovery for some time. You think about what’s important and meaningful. You’re curious about what the future might hold for you. Perhaps you worry more than you would like.

If we sat down and talked with each other, we would find that our ideas, beliefs and concerns are quite similar. I just returned from Peru and was privileged to experience the sacred Incan city of Machu Picchu and to learn about its civilization. Let me take you back to that first day. As I boarded the train that would take me through the mountains to the town of Aguas Calientes, which lay at the base of the mountain, I was bursting with excitement. As I got off the train and walked through the markets, I glanced up at the magical little town, with the train going through its center that was the gateway to the lost city. The more vigorous folks could hike the 27 mile Inca trail, at an elevation of 10000 feet, that would take them directly to Machu Picchu.

From Aguas Calientes, we took a bus up to the city and saw it for the first time. I was in awe. Words are inadequate to describe how I felt. Mallku, a local shaman and author of Incan Power Places, shared his knowledge and wisdom about the many wonders of the ancient city. I was struck by was how similar his wisdom was to what I believed. I was reminded that there are many paths to the mountaintop. When you get there you experience an ancient peace within your heart. We all have had glimpses of what that is. As I meditated and played my flute in the many power places on the mountain I experienced that ancient peace. When Mallku related some of the concerns of this ancient civilization, I thought about how some of them were so similar to the ones we have today. For example, how do you create a technology that enables you to have sufficient water during the dry season?

On more than a few occasions, I was reminded that the more you learn, the more you realize how much you don’t know. Every culture has its own legacy and wisdom that we can learn from. It’s also true that each of us has a history and body of knowledge that we can learn from, which becomes our wisdom. It also can become our legacy if we share it with others.

Our wisdom keeps evolving the more that we allow ourselves to experience life, but it’s not that often that we take the time to sit down and just think about what that is. As you continue reading, I invite you to take a few minutes and explore what that is for you. Perhaps it’s in the form of a message to a loved one. This is what I wrote in Dancing on the River.

“I have frequently thought about what I want my children to know about life. This is my message to them and to you:

Things change. You have to prepare yourself so that you can flow with these changes. The average person today has six or seven careers. The divorce rate is high. Friendships change. You might have a falling out, someone might move away, or pass on. And of course there are health challenges along the way. Let us not forget about the physiological changes that occur during the aging process. The currents of the river are constantly changing; they are affected by many unforeseen forces. You can’t live your life being afraid of these changes, because by avoiding them you are not really living.

What worked at one time in your life might not work at another time. Rather than developing career skills, you need to develop life skills that will enable you to thrive in any situation.

Living a successful and fulfilling life is not an accident. Successful people have goals and dreams. They have faith. They know that at the darkest moment there will be a light that illuminates their path. They know that they are not alone and that there is a power greater than they are. When they live from their center they have access to this power.

Life happens. There are some things we can’t control. The meaning we give to what happens is a choice. Saying yes to life and dancing on the river is also a choice. Enjoy the dance.”

The trip also reminded me of the irony in life. Let me take you back once more to the town of Aguas Calientes. When Annie and I first got there, I noticed that our hotel was near the Urubamba River. Some rooms faced the train tracks, while others overlooked the river. I was hoping for the river. When I saw our room for the first time, which overlooked the river, I was excited. There was a magic that I experienced for a few minutes before departing for the ancient city. When we returned in the evening after a day of climbing, the sound of the river soothed my soul .

I looked forward to waking up early and sitting on the balcony while listening to the sound of the river. I did wake up early but not to the sound of the river. Instead it was the sound of a crane moving rocks. When I looked out at the river I saw the crane and a host of workers. I laughed to myself. An hour later we again took the bus up the mountain. I was again reminded of the perfection in life. Life happens. It has it’s own way. We let go. We all are on this journey together. We sometimes forget to laugh at ourselves.

I am excited to announce a book signing at Book Passages on October 9th for my book, Dancing on the River. In the process of writing I have come to discover what it truly means to be truly dancing on the river of life. It is a consciousness that is a reflection of a life decision that you make over and over again to be happy in the moment.

Journey On

Mark

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of, Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes.

There were so many times when I could have said it sooner and better. I wanted to connect but I didn’t know how and I knew it. There was a part of me that was shy. I was comfortable expressing myself nonverbally through music and sports; but words were what was needed, if I wanted to have successful personal relationships. So I was motivated to learn all I could about becoming a better communicator.

I took workshops, read all I could, and gradually noticed that I was beginning to connect on a deeper level. This was true, whether it was in my personal or professional life. But no matter how skillful I became, there was always that conversation I avoided having. Regardless of what the circumstances were, there was always someone with whom I avoided having a conversation. As a lawyer I had my share of them. As a coach I have found that this is a universal problem.

In almost every situation between two people there is a “conversation” that can begin the healing process. This conversation can show up anywhere in your life, but usually it shows up at home with your loved ones or in the workplace.

If you don’t communicate what’s on your mind the situation only becomes worse. It won’t go away. That’s the way it was for me. I was the classic avoider. When I first began practicing law I shared office space with Sean. For many years we were very close, like brothers, but our relationship began to change. Sean started to distance himself and seemed to shut down whenever he was around me. Even though I was aware of this happening, I didn’t say anything because I was afraid that what Sean might say would be hurtful. Our conversations remained cordial, yet superficial, and eventually we stopped communicating and went our separate ways.

I lost touch with Sean. When I had a chance encounter with Sean approximately 20 years later, I got to have that conversation. After a busy day of running errands in an obscure place I noticed an attorney’s office. I walked inside and there was Sean. It was a special moment for both of us. I told Sean how special he had been in my life and how hurt and disappointed I had been when we drifted apart. Sean shared his journey with me. He said he had to hit bottom, and as part of that process, he pushed everyone away. I thought I was the only one.

For many years I had felt that it was because of me that the relationship had broken down. The truth was that it had nothing to do with me. Sometimes having these conversations is a risk. I certainly felt that way walking into Sean’s office, but I’m glad I did. I spoke my truth. We both understood what it was that at one time had connected us. We also understood why we were now walking different paths.

Probably the most fertile ground for having these conversations is with your significant other or a family member. Prior to meeting my wife, Annie, I was in an unsatisfactory relationship for three years with someone else. I accepted the circumstances of the relationship because I didn’t want to confront the truth, which was that we wanted different things from life. I wanted to have a family and she said she wasn’t sure. I didn’t press it, because I didn’t want to find out what she really wanted, which was not to have a family. I also didn’t want to be alone. But the truth was that even though I was in a relationship with her, I felt alone.

If I had been willing to face the truth, it would have been easier to have had that conversation. Instead, I avoided it for three years. Finally things came to a head and we had that conversation. If I had been more truthful with myself and had faced my fear of being alone, I would have had that conversation much sooner.

I know most of you have had similar experiences. Rather than finding out what’s really going on, you avoid having the conversation. All that does is prolong the tension and stifle any real communication.

Four Suggestions That Will Impact Your Ability to Engage in Difficult Conversations

1. Whenever you feel conflict or tension in a relationship, make the commitment to have a conversation about it. Think of a potential conflict as an opportunity to deepen the connection. Look at it this way: Conflict=Opportunity.
I know that I’m simplifying it and I also know that it’s true. It’s a powerful concept. Rather than running
away, look for what’s possible. See this opportunity as a gift.

2. Be strategic. Think of a supportive place and time when you think the other person will be more receptive to what you have to say. If it’s a workplace issue, if at all possible have the conversation away from the workplace.

3. Don’t make the other person wrong. You might be wondering how you can let someone know that his or her way of doing things conflicts with your way without being
critical of them. This is where you get to develop your expertise. Once you become critical of another
person, their natural reaction will be to defend themselves and in the process most likely find fault with
you. They’ll never find out what your needs are or how the problem might be resolved. It’s also important to remember they might not even be aware of how their actions have impacted you.

4. Start the conversation with an observation. With Sean the following conversation would have been revealing, “Sean, I feel like you are pulling away from me. Did I do something that offended you? Are you ok?” That conversation would have made me aware that the distancing
that I was experiencing wasn’t because of me. With my girlfriend I could have had the following conversation much sooner. “We’ve been together for a while now and I really want to have a family. I’m not sure you want the same thing. What do you really want?” Simple, yet scary. You have to ask the questions even if you think the answers might be painful. Having the conversation is an art form. It
might seem awkward at first, but you’ll have plenty of opportunity to practice because these situations keep coming up. They are part of living. If you don’t address what’s bothering you, the problem won’t miraculously go away. I have a challenge for you:

With whom can you have that conversation and when will you have it?

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of, Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes.

I have frequently thought about what I want my children to know about life. This is what i wrote in my book Dancing on the River: Navigating Life’s Changes.

Things change. You have to prepare yourself so that you can flow with these changes. The average person today has six or seven careers. The divorce rate is high. Friendships change. You might have a falling out, someone might move away, or pass on. And of course there are health challenges along the way. Let us not forget about the physiological changes that occur during the aging process. The currents of the river are constantly changing; they are affected by many unforeseen forces. You can’t live your life being afraid of these changes, because by avoiding them you are not really living.

What worked at one time in your life might not work at another time. Rather than developing career skills, you neeed to develop life skills that will enable you to thrive in any situation.

Living a successful and fulfilling life is not an accident. Successful people have goals and dreams. They have faith. They know that at the darkest moment there will be a light that illuminates their path. They know that they are no alone and that there is a power greater than they are. When they live from their center, they have access to this power.

Life happens. There are some things we can’t control. The meaning we give to what happens is a choice. Saying yes to life and dancing on the river is also a choice. Enjoy the dance.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes.

Connection is not a matter of time. When you connect with your heart, body and soul, connection happens in an instant. It transcends titles, race, gender, age and anything you can think of. From this bond of connection anything is possible.

Yet connecting with another is one of the greatest challenges that we all face; a challenge worthy of our best efforts. It comes up everyday in the work that I do. The following is an excerpt from Dancing on the River.

Sometimes telling a story is the best way to describe the feeling. There is that moment when you feel touched by another person and your heart is wide open.

You’re on the way to the airport. You get on the plane with a book that you’ve been planning to read for quite some time. As you open your book you glance at the person next to you. A few minutes later you’re asked a question and you reluctantly answer. You lower your book a bit to be polite and after a few minutes you find yourself putting your book down and engaging in a conversation, although with a lack of enthusiasm. And then the person next to you, let’s call him John, makes an observation about you that’s quite perceptive and sensitive. You start to become curious about who John is and in the course of the conversation, he tells you about an experience he has only shared with a few people. You let John know that you have had a similar experience. By now you’re totally engaged and listening to every word he says. You notice every nuance in the inflection of his voice and in the way he moves. Time seems to stand still and the next thing you know the plane lands. You say goodbye to the kindred soul you have just met. You’ll always be connected.

You now know what’s possible. You feel heard and everything seems possible. It’s communication at its highest level and is a lost art. When you integrate four fundamental truths of communication into your life, you’ll experience these moments more often.

The first truth is to know that what we all want is the ability to connect with another’s heart and soul. Unfortunately too many of our conversations are just an exchange of ideas and information and we rarely penetrate the surface. Most of our focus is on how we are going to respond to what is being said, instead of listening. When we know that what the other person really wants is connection, there will be common ground to build upon. From this foundation, we can build inspiring relationships that keep evolving.

The second truth is to know that listening involves much more than just listening to words. It is tuning into the energy beyond the words. It is understanding the needs and feelings of the other person. It’s being totally engaged and at the same time flowing with the rhythm of life. Yes, it takes a lot of energy, but you’re energized by what you get back. Imagine living in a world in which you are truly listening and fully present . As the philosopher and mystic Thomas Merton so profoundly stated in his Asian Journal:
The deepest level of communication is not communication but communion. It is wordless. It is beyond words, and is beyond speech and concept…We are already one. But we imagine that we are not. And what we have to recover is our original unity. What we have to be is what we are.

The third truth is to know that you must take responsibility for the quality of your communications. This includes having the conversation, which many of us tend to avoid. Because we all have long-standing attitudes and beliefs, we sometimes find ourselves trying to convince the other person that our perspective is the best one. Being right then becomes the goal of the interaction rather than communication, and the next thing you know you are in a full-fledged argument. Just think of what happens when you discuss politics or religion. Being right becomes more important than experiencing one of those magical moments.

Yes you’ll have to get out of your comfort zone and initiate many of these conversations. You might be afraid of putting yourself out there and possibly being rejected. You’ll find that more often than not, the person you are reaching out to welcomes the conversation just as much as you do. As we have discussed in the first truth, all of us crave more connection in our busy lives.

The fourth truth is that communication is a process and an art. Being a masterful communicator doesn’t happen over night but it starts with the intention to experience more connection in your life. Just as it is with other art forms, such as dancing or music, there is a natural ebb and flow in the learning cycle. As your commitment deepens, you notice glimpses of the magic that is possible in your life. The ultimate connection occurs when, by sharing who you really are, you touch another’s soul.

We are part of one human family. At our core we have the same human needs and desires. We have the need to love and be loved. We want to know that our life has meaning and that we have a purpose for being here at this time. When we work together as one, what’s possible in our lives, communities, and the world keeps evolving. That’s when we know we are all kindred souls.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes.

In the last blog we discussed one of the biggest challenges that we face which is having a difficult conversation. Rather than having it, we avoid it until it becomes unbearable. Resentment builds up and we carry that resentment around with us. It’s like going through life with twenty pound weights tied around our feet.

Another big challenge that we face, at least those who I work with as their life coach, is the erroneous belief that when what is bothering us goes away, there will be smooth sailing.

You know that one. “Only if” this person wasn’t in my life, my life would be better. You could be in a bad relationship, or you could have an ongoing conflict with someone in the work place. You leave or they leave and you feel better for a little while until the next problem occurs.

The “only if syndrome” shows up in many different forms. I’m sure you know them, especially this one. If business picks up, the pressure will be off. It usually is for awhile and then you have new concerns. You have to fulfill the requirements of the increased business and then you worry about next year or the next slump. I can guarantee you one thing. If you tend to worry, there will always be something to worry about. As I have written in Dancing on the River, happiness is a reflection of a life decision that you make to be happy in the moment over and over again. Once you make this decision, your life will become one of adventure rather than one of struggle.

Be grateful for all of the blessings in your life. Focus on what’s right, rather than on what is wrong.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes.

The amazing journey of writing Dancing on the River—Navigating Life Changes is complete for now. I only say “for now” because there always is more to explore and navigate, although we don’t know what that might be from where we are now. That’s the way it is—our lives—a never-ending journey in which we learn more about who we really are and where we are going.

I always loved the title, Dancing on the River, which my good friend Alan Harris sourced, but it was only after writing the last chapter that I realized that I had to rewrite the introduction and put in words what it means to be dancing on the river of your life. That final process was transformational. If you have been reading Letters on Life for some time, you might already know the river story. But since our lives are constantly evolving, it has new meaning.

When you stand in the river for the second time, is it the same river in which you had stood earlier? ANCIENT PHILOSOPHICAL QUESTION

Let me share with you some excerpts from the introduction:

A few years ago, I wrote an article about a river-rafting trip on the Green River in Colorado, where I had a near-death experience. As I was propelled through the rapids, behind the raft, I wasn’t sure if I would survive the swifter currents of the river. It wasn’t until many years later that I realized the significance of what happened on that trip. I was thirteen at the time.

As I relived this experience, during the writing of this book, I gleaned eight lessons and insights from the river experience, and the river of my life that have guided me on my life journey. They form the foundation for this book. I truly discovered what it means to be Dancing on the River. It’s an attitude about how you approach life. It’s a belief system that you cultivate. It’s a reflection of a life decision that you make to be happy and to enjoy life in this moment. Your enjoyment and appreciation of life is not dependent on what might happen in the future. I haven’t always felt this way. It’s taken me a while to get here. Some days I feel it more than others. Some days I forget.

Dancing on the River is the journey of how I have gotten to this place in my life. It’s been a process of discovering what beliefs and attitudes were holding me back from moving forward. It’s been a process of discovering spiritual practices and mental disciplines that have supported me in integrating more empowering beliefs and attitudes into my way of thinking. It’s been the awakening to a rich inner life that has fulfilled me on many levels. It’s been the willingness to face adversity and to be courageous when I needed to be. It’s about a leap of faith. It’s also a story about others and how they have changed their perception of life. Underlying all of this is the commitment to developing the life skills and belief systems necessary to face life’s challenges.

We are affected by events and circumstances that we have no control over. There are no explanations for many of the things that happen. We struggle with trying to make sense of it. More than ever, the world we live in is changing at an accelerating rate. Navigating these changes, both personally and globally, has become an art form and is the greatest challenge that we all face. It can feel overwhelming at times and can drain us emotionally. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

It is my sincere hope that after you read this book you will feel empowered to embrace life’s changes rather than avoiding or reacting to them. Like most rivers, our lives are constantly changing. It’s just that we are more aware of it now. So jump in—you’re going to get wet anyway. These challenges are there to nurture and accelerate your life’s unfolding. Avoiding the challenge just delays what you ultimately have to learn.

Most of us have experienced those moments when we are not sure what to do or which way to turn. While trying to figure it out, you can dance on the river, even though you are not sure where the river is taking you. You’re not alone on your quest. It is my hope that Dancing on the River becomes your guide and provides you with the tools and inspiration that will help you on your journey.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes.

Last night my son and I watched a movie, Kicking and Screaming, that we had seen before. I’m always touched by movies that involve family dynamics. This one especially got me.

Essentially the movie was about the relationship between a father and son and their relationship to winning. The son hated his father’s obsession with winning and being the best. However in his desire to beat his father he becomes just like his father. He sacrifices his own relationship with his own son and forgets what his true values are. Isn’t that what happens to many of us?

In the struggle with making it in the world we lose sight of what is important to us. It consumes and drains us so that we don’t have the time or the energy for other things.

Our relationships suffer and we suddenly wake up one day and realize that our life seems empty in many ways. We might regret some of our past decisions or conduct. It’s time to assess what’s going on in our lives.

Take inventory by asking yourself the following: Are you satisfied with what you have accomplished so far this year? And then ask yourself how satisfied are you with whom you have become? Perhaps the answer to the second question will be more revealing. Don be like the guy in the movie.

Taking time for yourself everyday before the day gets going is the best way to take care of yourself. if you have been following me, you know that I believe strongly that how you start your day sets the tone for the day. Take time for reflection–meditate–think about your blessings–be curious as to what the highlight of your day might be.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released May 25, 2010.

So what’s going on. Are you surprised or perhaps disappointed by what’s happening? Or is it what you expected?

Now think about what you want to accomplish. What changes will you have to put into place to make it become a reality? I guess I’ve asked a lot of questions. Questions are powerful and are probably the most effective way to shift your focus. If you notice I am assuming that for you to live the life you really want that you will have to make some changes in your life. Let’s explore this concept.

If you are thinking about lack and limitation ask yourself what questions you are asking yourself. Usually you aren’t even aware of what they are. For example, if you have had a few disappointments in business you might be asking yourself how things can get worse, or what else can go wrong.

When you are in a downward spiral use empowering questions to change the spiral. For example again using the few disappointments scenario an empowering question might be: I wonder who my next client will be or what my next project will be? Or you might ask yourself this question. How does it get better than this? So you begin to think of solutions rather than problems. You’re curious and begin to develop a mindset that is attractive and resourceful.

How you frame your life determines your life because it is a fundamental law of the universe that what you focus on expands. CHANGE YOUR THINKING–CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released May 22, 2010.

Have you heard the expression “if you don’t use it you lose it.” I have had that thought on many occasions especially when I haven’t been doing one of my practices. It can mean many different things depending on who you are. It can show up in your life in various situations.

For example: Exercising—you know you need to do it but haven’t done it for quite some time. Your force yourself to do it, but it’s not fun.

It could be a spiritual practice. You’re resistant because you haven’t done it in a while and you can’t seem to fit it into your schedule. You’ve also forgot how good you feel afterwards.

In my case it could be writing. After I finished writing Dancing on the River, I lost my edge. I wasn’t motivated. Eventually I felt something was missing. I knew what I had to do. I sat down and began writing because that was part of me. It took a while to get back in the groove. At first it was awkward and difficult, but gradually it began to feel better.

Relationships can be that way. Let’s take a brief look at them. How satisfied are you with the quality of your relationships? What can you do to make them better? When’s the last time you made a new friend? How willing are you to reach out and begin a new conversation?

No matter who you are, you always have room for a new conversation which is an opportunity to learn something new about yourself. Real communication is an art form that is alway expanding and always full of new possibilities.

I have a challenge for you. Think about a person in your life with whom you would like to have better communication. What would have to shift? What would you have to do to make it happen? What’s in the way of your doing what you have to do?

And yes it usually starts with you. You have to make the first step. Be willing to put yourself out there. Perhaps make that phone call you have been putting off. Or send an email you have been delaying.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released May 22, 2010.