That’s good news because if we don’t question what we are doing and how we are contributing, the light inside us becomes dull and the simplest of tasks seems complex. As we keep questioning and discover what gives our life meaning our inner light begins to shine again.

But to discover that light we need to get out of our comfort zone and be willing to face life’s challenges and adversities.

Along the way we discover that we have many more capabilities that we realized.

We have the means and opportunity to play a bigger game and make a profound impact. We are here to make a difference. In the process of doing so, we transform the mundane into the extraordinary. Yes we are talking about our life which is full of opportunities for us to step forth and make that difference.

Each of us has something great to contribute. The world is waiting for you to declare yourself by fully expressing your unique wisdom.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and speaker who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes. Give yourself the gift of coaching and make an investment in your future.

Then there was the day that I was finally done. No more written tests, but the real learning was about to begin. A friend asked my how I saw myself five years in the future. Up to that point, my future was defined by what school I would be going to. At first I didn’t know how to answer her question. I was living in the city in a little cottage behind a house. When I began to think about my life five years in the future, I saw myself living in a house in the hills of Marin surrounded by trees and nature. A friend gave me a dog and the next thing I knew I was living in Marin in that house playing music. That was just the beginning. Within a short period of time, my quest for self-discovery began.

It’s been an exciting journey full of adventure and uncertainty with its share of ups and downs. As we transition through various phases in our life what’s important to us changes. What is more important is that we keep learning and evolving from all of our experiences. We reflect upon how satisfied we are with the various facets of our lives. We ask ourselves questions that we never asked before. We explore unchartered territory.

Sometimes we’re not sure where we want to be, but we know there is something else yet to be explored. We sense a yearning that is calling us. We take a leap of faith to embark upon a path that is undefined.

Sure it gets scary at times but that goes with the territory because we are exploring an unknown future where there are no defined rules or a clear path to follow. It can also be exciting. The mystic Joseph Campbell in Dark Forest says it in this way,

“You enter the forest
At the darkest point,
Where there is no path.

Where there is a way or path,
It is someone else’s path.

If you follow someone else’s way,
You are not going to realize your potential.”

Wherever you are in your life’s unfolding enter the forest by taking that first step. What you’ll find is that exploring new territory takes you out of your comfort zone. For me the commitment to this process began in earnest when I gave up my law practice, which had been my comfort zone for many years. I remember waking up that first day. I no longer had a schedule or a purpose. I was searching for a new way. A year later I began the work that I do now.

I began to look deeper. As I wrote about many of these evolving ideas and beliefs in Letters on Life, a new paradigm was emerging. Having clarity is just the first step. The bigger challenge is integrating these insights into your life so that they become a way of being. Whether I’m coaching others, writing or speaking to groups, I am reminded that we are all in this together. We want to connect and come together but we don’t know how. When we share our hearts and souls with others, there is a feeling of communion that transcends words. There is a silence into which judgments can’t intrude.

But the integration does not happen all at once. It’s an ongoing process that keeps unfolding. Sometimes we get discouraged and feel like giving up. The doubts begin to resurface. We sometimes think to ourselves, “Why did I get started on this path?” Sometimes we need a helping hand to encourage and inspire us to keep our dream alive and to become the person we’ve always wanted to be. For me that need has been nurtured by learning from others and from reading books. Then there was the moment I chose Inspire Possibility as my domain name.

In the beginning it was a stretch, but over time I grew into it. Whenever someone tells me that they feel inspired after reading one of my articles or listening to one of my talks, it lets me know that they want to be inspired. It tells me that their dream is still alive and that they haven’t given up on what they really want. The flame inside of them is still burning.

But still the task seems daunting. We’ve been disappointed before. This time we’re waiting for a guarantee before taking that next step. We want to know how it’s going to work out before we begin. But from where we’re standing it’s impossible to see what’s ahead. None of us has a crystal ball that allows us to see into the future. By taking that next step, we allow for the process of exploring the vast unknown to reveal itself. This exploration can be one of the most exciting and fulfilling journeys we’ve ever experienced.

“The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating. The paths are not to be found, but made, and the activity of making them changes both the maker and the destination.” John Schaar

In many ways we are in the midst of a global renaissance. Together we are creating a new future, which is constantly changing and evolving. In the process we become more than we were yesterday. Choose to be part of the adventure.

Journey On

Mark

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes.

Collectively we are and have been in many different phases of the relationship cycle. Regardless of what phase we are in, we all have wounds that are preventing us from experiencing deeper levels of intimacy in our lives. Relationships demand trust and risk.

But what holds us back is the fear of again experiencing the pain that we have felt in past relationships. It hurts and we don’t want to experience it again.

So we adopt a strategy that protects us. Most likely we are not even aware of what we are doing. Let me share with you what I did for many years to avoid the possibility of experiencing that pain again.

My favorite approach was to select a partner who was emotionally unavailable. They were hopelessly self-centered, already in a relationship or afraid of intimacy because of the same wounds that I had experienced. Another approach was to select partners who I knew did not fit my picture of the person I wanted to be with. This allowed me to be in control of the relationship. By focusing on their flaws and imperfections I could keep them at a distance.

I kept trying to make these relationships work and played out the drama longer than I should have because I didn’t want to acknowledge that I was alone. Now I realize that feeling alone has nothing to do with whether you are in a relationship. There have been plenty of times when I have felt alone while in a relationship.

There is no doubt that relationships stretch us. We experience a myriad of emotions that we would not have experienced without the relationship, ranging from fear, anger and avoidance to fulfillment, confidence, and passion. We are forced to explore uncharted territory discovering new ways of saying and looking at things. We’re never totally prepared for what needs to be done or said, so quite often we avoid saying what’s on our mind.

Sooner or later what we have been withholding from our partner is reflected in our attitudes and conduct, often leading to feelings of separation and alienation, which defeats the purpose of being in relationship.

Sharing our most intimate feelings is not the easiest thing to do. For various reasons we have not had much practice. So we create a system, albeit not perfect, that works for us. We carefully measure how much we are willing to share about what’s really going on with us. Perhaps we experience more isolation and loneliness than we would like, but we keep our innermost feelings a secret.

So we go on to that next relationship thinking that there is a relationship out there that will eventually fulfill us and make us whole. This time it will be different we think to ourselves.

When I was in my early thirties, I had an enlightening conversation with my good friend Stephen Sawyer, “Stephen, do you think that each relationship gets better and that there is an ultimate relationship?

“Yes, and it’s with yourself,” he responded.

As we know not all relationships work out the way we would like them to. But we know more about ourselves for having been in the relationship.

With each relationship I discovered something new about myself. I was able to bring these new insights into my next relationship. Each relationship brought me closer to where I wanted to be. I experienced a new level of intimacy that affected every relationship that I had. Most importantly I experienced a greater knowing and love of myself. I enjoyed just being in my own presence. The ultimate relationship occurs when you learn to know and love yourself. Until this happens you won’t be able to love another person deeply.

As you keep evolving you become aware of a fundamental truth. You can’t change another person. You can only change yourself.

This version of the Serenity Prayer says it best:
God give me the serenity to accept the people I can’t change,
The courage to change the one I can
And the wisdom to know that it’s me.

So now we have shared some valuable time together. We know where to look and sometimes we don’t like what we see because we are own worse critics.

Sometimes there’s a quote or a poem that resonates with us and makes the biggest difference in our life. It puts everything in perspective. For me, more than anything it was this quote by Anais Nin that inspired me in my quest.
“And the day came when the risk to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk to blossom.”

As I expanded my capacity to risk I also increased my ability to trust. I embraced my fears, overcame my barriers to intimacy and became the love I was seeking.

Let’s celebrate this Valentine’s Day in a different way. Let’s celebrate this day as a day of inspiration; an inspiration to open ourselves more to love and loving, love of others and of course ourselves.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

I have used affirmations throughout the years first in working on finding my soulmate and then on attracting money. They have worked for me, but not everybody has reported the same success. Sometimes we give up too soon. We affirm the reality we want to attract into our lives and if we don’t notice a difference we move on. What I have found is that the reality that you are trying to create with the use of affirmations seems to have a mind of its own. It will happen, but not necessarily in your timeframe.

When using affirmations it is suggested that we make what we want to create as real as possible allowing ourselves to experience all of the emotions. As a side note I think about the emotion that is attached to worry. If we can take that same emotional intensity and attach it to what we want to create, we’ll be unstoppable.

As Napoleon Hill wrote in Think and Grow Rich, experience that emotion as if your life depended on it. Here’s something else for you to think about. When you allow yourself to fully experience emotionally what it is you are wanting to create, (acting as if) you notice that your emotional state changes. You feel more upbeat, happier and optimistic. Even if it doesn’t come about exactly the way you want it, at least you are going to feel better emotionally. If you get a chance, take a look at Dr Evers book. If you are not integrating affirmations into your life, don’t wait any longer to begin.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of, Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes.