Life is a marathon. There are times in our lives when we struggle and times when we soar. The important thing to remember is that from all of our experiences we can learn. And from what we learn we can improve upon the quality of our lives.

Perhaps the most significant learning is that you always have room to have a better attitude. You can be more positive and yet not deny your current circumstances. When you get on the positive side of change,  you see clearly the challenges ahead not as obstacles, but as stimuli to achieve excellence.

At some point you begin see possibilities rather  problems. You smile for no reason and say to yourself, “Yes, I can.”  The quality of your life is determined by your attitude. When you’re positive, you’re usually  happy and optimistic. It might take a while but it’s the consistency that makes the difference. There is a Japanese expression, CANI, which is an acronym for  Constant and Never-ending Improvement. Take this on as a challenge and make it  fun. At the end of the day ask yourself, What did I learn today and how did that make me a better person?

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Please join me for the Journey On radio show. I am cohosting the show with my good friend Ralph Marston who publishes the Daily Motivator.  Http://www.blogtalkradio.com/journeyon

Mark Susnow, is an executive-life coach and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River: Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

Yes you had a dream at one time. It’s time to begin dreaming again. When you stop dreaming you stop living. Our dreams give us a vision of how we want our  future  to look like.  When we are committed to moving toward the actualization of that dream, we grow and evolve into the person we want to be.  Our dreams give our life meaning.  Our dreams our what brings us alive. Without dreams and goals it’s difficult to find meaning in our lives.

Some of us are skillful and blessed in manifesting these dreams. As we know too well,  not all of our dreams come true. We become disappointed or discouraged at times.

What’s important to remember is that their is tremendous value in just having the dream.  Ask yourself,  who you need to become to actualize your dream?  What must you commit to? What changes are you willing to make? The dream creates an edge for you to expand into. It’s time for a new dream.

ENJOY THE JOURNEY

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive-life coach and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River: Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

Most of us have fond memories of playing at the playground when we were kids. There was the swing, the slide, the seesaw and playing in the sand. And most important the other kids.  Once you felt safe, you let go. Before you knew it, it was time to go home. Some days you didn’t want to leave.

As you let go, you forgot about time. You learned, experimented and developed social skills, and still were able to experience a sense of freedom. You weren’t concerned with what you had to do “afterwards.” In fact you didn’t even think about “afterwards.” You were in the moment. Nothing else mattered.

For some of us that playground might have looked different. It could have been the park or the street in front of our house. There was always a game that you could play that was played before by other kids.  While my focus was primarily on sports, I remember a few games that perhaps you played; kick the can, hide-and-seek and hopscotch. If there wasn’t a game that you liked, you would use your imagination and make one up, including the rituals that went along with it.  Sometimes you engaged in games and activities just with yourself inside your home. You were in your own world, with your own set of rules. I remember my stamp collection and the “all-star” baseball game that I made up.

Each game had its own set of rules and rituals. Then one day you grew up and the game got more serious.  In this new game, there was a new set of rules that put more emphasis and importance on results, rather than on fun and play.

We believed that because of the demands of this new game that we didn’t have time for play. It actually works the other way.  If you make time for play, you’ll get better results in the bigger game of life because you’ll struggle less and be more fun to be around.  If you can be excited about one aspect of your life, that enthusiasm will spread to your whole life. You can integrate play into your life now. Some of it is engaging in activities that you enjoy and some of it is making a shift in attitude. You’ll have plenty of opportunity to make this shift.

Shakespeare wrote in As you Like It.

“All the world’s a stage. And all the men and women merely players;
 They have their exits and their entrances,
 And one man in his time plays many parts.”

Each of us has already played many parts in our life and I’m sure we’ll play many more. Each role has its unique set of rules, language, rituals and costumes. I’ve played lawyer, musician, father, husband and athlete and now I’m playing the role of “youthful” wise elder.

Let’s look at some of the shifts and practices that you can integrate into your life. The first shift begins with the word “play.” For example. I “play” tennis. I “play” the piano. What are some of the things that you do or have done that begin with the word “play.” If you have participated in any form of theatre, you have played a role. When you go out and dress up in a certain way, your costume helps you get into the spirit of the evening.

Let’s take it one step further. Caroline Casey, Making the Gods Work for You, refers to a high Japanese dialect that prefaces a verb with the words “played at.”  Imagine the shift that this practice would make in your experience of everyday reality.  If  you are a nurse, you would say, “I’m playing at nursing.” If you are a doctor you would say, “I’m playing at being a doctor.”  Nurse and doctor were games that some of us might have played as kids. A father would say, “I’m playing at fathering.” A  teacher would say, “I’m playing at teaching.”  Right now, I’m playing at writing.  What are you currently playing at?

Let me share with you a practice that my friend Samia, who is a social worker, integrates into her life. She prefaces what is next on her agenda with the words, “I get to.” I remember how excited I was when I got to make my first court appearance as a young lawyer.  By integrating this practice into our daily life, it’s easier to experience life as a gift and blessing, rather than a “have to” or burden.

A playful attitude benefits us in ways that perhaps we hadn’t previously considered. When I did some research for this article I was intrigued by this statement:

“ Many of our greatest thinkers locate their

capacity for original and profound thought

in their imaginative abilities, first developed

through creative play in early childhood.”

– Sharna Olfman

Psychology Professor

Point Park University

You have the potential to transform your everyday experience of life into a “magical playground.”  It begins with making a choice.  Choose to make what you normally do in life, more fun. At one time in your life you knew how to do that. You can start doing it again. There’s no better time than now.

ENJOY THE JOURNEY

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive-life coach and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River: Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

In a life coaching session yesterday with one of my clients we discussed negative thinking. What exactly is negative thinking and what can we do about it.  The simple answer is that negative thinking is and has been a life-long habit.

So what can you do to change this habit?  Start your day differently. Notice what you do in the morning. How you start your day sets the tone for the day!  Choose to start it differently. What’s on your phone or online can wait until later in the day.

Here’s what I suggest. Sit for a few minutes in silence and then slowly focus on what you are grateful for. What that does is shift your focus from what isn’t working and what you don’t like about your life, to what is working and what you do like about your life. This practice goes a long way toward breaking the habit of negative thinking. If you don’t break the habit it can become hypnotic. And you know how it works. Before you know it you begin imagining the worse case scenario. There’s one more thing you can do to break this habit.

After you have focused on what you are grateful for, wonder about the highlight of your day. Many of my life coaching clients have reported to me that over time there expectations have changed and that they expect good things to occur. As your day progresses you’re wondering what the best possible outcome can be. This thinking can become an empowering habit, one that empowers you.

Consistent positive thinking, not only changes your outlook on life, but it also empowers you to see opportunities that previously you would not have looked at.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive-life coach and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River: Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

Most of us would love to be able to flip a switch and change the circumstances in our lives. We would start with the difficult people…those people who are unreasonable and sometimes just unpleasant. In your mind, they are the source of your upset. Whatever we want to do, they want to do the opposite. You know who they are. They might be a family member. Family members, are masters when it comes to pushing our buttons. They might be someone with whom you are intimate. Or they might be in the workplace; a coworker, a person in authority or someone with whom you come in contact during your day. Wow——quite a list.

I have found that through the years in my executive coaching practice that interpersonal conflict is a big concern. We can  eliminate some of them by changing our circumstances. But it’s difficult to eliminate  family members and in the workplace, we are reluctant to give up all we have worked hard to achieve.

Let’s take the stand that these difficult people and difficult situations are there to help us grow. When I begin working with a client as their executive coach, what they discover is that person, with whom they have difficulty, is symptomatic of a life time of communication issues.  Over time what was once a weakness becomes a strength. In the process not only do they learn how to turn this conflict into an opportunity, they also learn about themselves. They learn how to be assertive and, yet at the same time, respectful. They learn what their triggers are and create a system to respond, rather than react to these triggers. They learn to stand up for themselves.

They find that when they become better communicators, everyone with whom they come in contact is positively affected. Here’s how David Phipps, one of my first coaching clients, described his experience with this work: “The most profound change I have noticed from working with you has been in my communication. For the first time, I am able to be more myself, open, honest and real with everyone-my life partner, my friends, with those I manage, and those who manage me. They, too, have noticed and applauded this transformation.”

ENJOY THE JOURNEY

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive-life coach and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River: Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

You have been introduced to meditation and the power of gratitude. After I have meditated in the morning and focused on what I am grateful for, I wonder about what the highlight of my day might be.  This simple practice helps me cultivate curiosity into my life.

Being curious is such a power thought process. Here’s what you do. Briefly scan your day to remind yourself what’s on your agenda.  After you have done that, as your day progresses, be open to seeing the good in every encountner that you have.  The highlight might be something unexpected and it might be a little thing. We tend to overlook what at first glance might seem insignificant  This practice will open you up to a whole new universe.  It might be a smile while you are waiting in line at the bank or the grocery store.  It might be a thank-you from someone.  It might be a greeting from a pet.  Hopefully, by the end of the day, you won’t be able to make up your mind as to what the highlight was because you’ll have two or three great choices. What at one time seemed like a mundane task, becomes something that you look forward to.

For the next week integrate curiosity into your morning as you begin the day and see what you notice. The important thing to take away from this is that there is always a highlight. It just might be different than what you think. Be open to that new possibility.

ENJOY THE JOURNEY

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive-life coach and recognized thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River: Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

I’ve found from my years as an executive-life coach, worry is one of the biggest challenges that most of us face. In previous blogs you were introduced to the benefits of a daily gratitude practice.  I’ve found that expressing gratitude on a daily basis helps me to overome my tendeny to worry.  I know this tendency places me in good company.  When I feel myself worrying excessively there are three questions I ask myself.

The first is, “What is the worst that can happen?” Remember  worry is an irrational emotion.  There is an acronym that reminds mo of this truth : F.E. A. R.: False Evidence Apppearing Real.

I then ask myself, ” How likely is it that what I’m worrying about will happen?” This question gets me out of the irrational mode.  When you are in the irrational mode you usually imagine the worst-case scenario.  This inquiry forces me to detach from what I’m feeling, even if just for a few seconds.  Once I’m feeling calmer, I’m ready to explore the likelihood of the particular thing I’m worrying about actually occurring.  Usually I come to the conclusion that there is little likelihood of it happening.

The next inquiry I have found quite powerful.  Ask yourself what the result would be if everything went your way. Very few of us consider this possibility.  When you allow yourself to fully explore and imagine the possibilities of everything working out in your favor, with the same intensity of emotion that you have when you worry, before you know it, your’re out of your funk and excited again. More often than not I am pleasantly surprised.

We have no way of knowing what is going to happen in the future, yet for some reason when we worry we think we do.  In the process of training our minds to think more positively about the possibilities in our life, life beomes less of a struggle and more of an exciting journey of discovery.  Since we know what it’s like to dance on the river, we welcome what’s next.

ENJOY THE JOURNEY

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s 

Getting on the Positive Side of Change is a continuous journey, one in which is both life-changing and exciting. That’s what we are going to focus on for a while. If you are familiar with my work you know that there are eight principles that I focus on. We’ll discuss them as we go forward.

The first is to live from the center.  When we are not centered everything is magnified and blown out of proportion. Imagine driving your car without good shock absorbers. Every bump in the road is magnified and you begin to notice the imperfections. In fact that is all you see and  you forget where you want to go.  You lose sight of what gives your life meaning. When your shocks are new, the bumps on the road don’t affect you and you enjoy a smooth ride.

We all have the potential to enjoy a smooth ride. In the next blog we’ll discuss some of the practices we can adopt so that possbility becomes a reality.

Enjoy the journey

Mark

Mark Susnow, has led a unique and interesting life. A former trial attorney, he is now a life coach and author of  Dancing on the River: Navigating Life’s Changes.  Whether he is coaching one-on-one or speaking to groups, he enthusiasti

Last week at the local coffee shop a friend said to me,” Hey the new Leonard Cohen biography is great.” I’ve been a big fan of Leonard’s for years and have found his life intriguing. Two of my favorite songs that I’ve learned to play are Suzanne and Hallelujah. So it was a no brainer for me to pick up his biography and begin reading. I haven’t been disappointed. I’m halfway through.

Yesterday I received an early Christmas card and there was a quote.

“Ring the bells that still can ring;
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack, a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” Anthem, Leonard Cohen.

That need to be perfect keeps many of us stuck in our comfort zones. As a result we become stagnant, resistant to trying anything new because we focus on the imperfections in our life. We avoid “change” as if it’s the plague.

As a result we’re hesitant and sit on the rivers edge as we watch the river of life flow by without us. Our focus on perfection gets in the way of our experiencing life fully. We don’t notice the little things or chance encounters that have the potential to get us excited again.

Get on the positive side of change. Jump in the river, play in it—— you are going to get wet anyway.

ENJOY THE JOURNEY

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

From time to time, many of us have refered to some people as being “rich.” Let’s look at this concept using a different “paradigm.”

Being rich is not about acquiring or getting riches or possessions. It’s a reflection of an inner state of joy, which is given freely by our just being ourselves.

In this state, we wake up and begin our day with a sense of peace. From this sense of peace, we’re able to see the beauty all around us. Even when there is a storm brewing, we notice the beauty in the cloud formations. The rain falling has a magic to it. When we meet someone, we notice their inner glow. That’s when we are “rich” in spirit. In this state our whole world opens up.

Our inner richness affects positively those with whom we interact. Just like a rose in full bloom, the whole world is blessed by our presence. It’s what’s on the inside that is more important than what is on the outside.

But in the beginning of this journey it takes commitment to get to this state; to wake up and take time for ourselves with inner reflection and meditation. Then to pause and reflect upon all that we are grateful for. When you approach your day from an “attitude of gratitude”, then you are rich. This is what you give the world.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.