Journey On » change

WHAT DID YOU LEARN FROM WHAT HAPPENED?

Mark Susnow — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 18:58:08 +0000

So it didn’t work out you think to yourself. “Why didn’t I pay attention to what was happening,” you wonder. “If I looked closer it was obvious that it wasn’t going to work out.” “Where do I go from here,” you wonder.

A better inquiry is to ask yourself what you learned from the experience and how you can use it for your betterment. Rather than think that you made a mistake, adopt the perspective that it wasn’t the right time. Regroup and plan to make what you did better. Be patient for the time is near.

You are richer and deeper for the experience. Perhaps you have a few scars leftover but you are wiser and more determined that ever. There is a knowing that life is unfolding as it should.

You are doing what you should be doing at this time in your evolution. And you are meeting the right people at the right time. You are being guided. You are in the flow. You are Dancing on the River.

Let go of your judgments and opinions why it went wrong. You were being served. What happened or what went wrong was a gift. It’s part of the big picture. You are being prepared for your role in making a difference. It’s time to step up.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes. Give yourself the gift of coaching and make an investment in your future.

HAVING A CLEAR PURPOSE

Mark Susnow — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 18:50:10 +0000

Do you ever wonder if you are here on this planet to do something great? Perhaps at times you wonder what your calling is. So you listen for that call. If you are blessed, you get that call and when you do, you are ready.

When I was younger I got my first of many calls. It was to be a lawyer, one who crusaded for social justice. That was my calling for years. It gave me a purpose which was the main focus of my life, until…it no longer was. In those years that purpose made it easier for me to say, “No,” to the many distractions that I faced on a daily basis.

Today I have a different purpose which is to make a difference in the lives of others——to motivate them to get them excited about the possibilities in their life.

When you have purpose you have clarity as to your focus. This focus enables you to avoid the trap of superficiality. You can say, “No” to the latest trend or fad. You can say, “No” to what gets in the way of your becoming the person you want to be.

It’s also easier to not get down when you are having a bad day and or you are disappointed. You know that tomorrow is another day——a fresh start with new determination.

As you keep your focus on what’s important, the distractions don’t get in your way. You notice them, but keep on doing what you have to do. Along the way, you notice that you are passionate about living.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

WHAT’S POSSIBLE?

Mark Susnow — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 18:00:42 +0000

In the process of writing, ideas come to me that later become my way of preferred thinking. They actually become more than that in that they become a way of life. Without actually sitting down and taking the time to focus on these ideas, they would just stay in my mind and clutter my thinking.

One of these ideas is to ask ourselves and others, “What’s Possible?” This inquiry is much different than asking ourselves, “What’s the likelihood of that happening,” which is somewhat limiting.

When we ask what’s the likelihood of that happening, we are asked to make a judgment from a limited perspective. We don’t have all of the information and resources that we’ll have at a later time. We don’t know what will be possible once we have more information and more capabilities whether those capabilities are mental or physical.

But when you ask, “What Possible?” you open the door for the creative process to be a bigger part of your life. And the creative process is unlimited. From one idea comes another. In any creative process, one idea leads to something new that’s never been done before. In the process you create something that is an expression of your unique “You.” It can be a work of art, a new product or a new way of seeing your life.

Imagine your life as a creative work of art, as an unfolding expression of what possible.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

DECLARE THAT YOU WILL DO IT

Mark Susnow — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 20:12:43 +0000

In a life coaching session yesterday with our good friend Carl, we discussed Carl’s taking the next step in a book project that he has wanted to complete for the last two years. There is no question in my mind and in his that he can do it but he hasn’t committed. After much give and take, I got Carl to commit to writing an hour a day. And then Carl backed off from the commitment and said that he would try and that he would give it his best shot.

Carl was already creating an excuse not to complete the project. I once read that trying is failing with honor.

When you say you will try, you carry around with you a twenty pound weight which makes life more complicated. It’s an extra burden and loose end that doesn’t have to have uncertainty tied to it.

Instead imagine completing the project. Instead of saying you will try, say you will do it. Just for a second stop reading and say out loud, “I will do it.” That’s it. How did that feel? Once you make that declaration you know that it will be done. That declaration has enormous power behind it.

Not only will you complete the project, you will do it with integrity. Not only will you feel better because the project is completed, you will feel better about yourself.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

THE FUTILITY OF COMPLAINING

Mark Susnow — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 18:04:57 +0000

Some of us are complainers. For those of us who are, we’ll always find plenty to complain about. It’s the same with worriers. They will always find plenty to worry about. It’s their ground of being from which they see life. For them life is a struggle. The complaining or worrying reinforces in their consciousness what they are concerned about or what they don’t like. The likelihood of the situation escalating or continuing is high. Complaining about it won’t make the situation better. Quite the contrary.

We know from our work together that what we focus on expands. So if we want to change the circumstances of our life and how we feel about them, then we need to focus on the life we want. And rather than complain, develop a plan and take action.

Ask yourself what you would really like to change. If you aren’t sure what that is you don’t need to look any further than what you are complaining about. Rather than complain, imagine what it is that you would like to be different. See it in your mind. Make it real in your consciousness. Think about it in the morning. Think about it as you fall asleep. And then let it go. And along the way,

ENJOY THE JOURNEY

MARK

NOW IS THE TIME

Mark Susnow — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 21:57:33 +0000

Quite often we let the major events and concerns in our life define how we are feeling moment to moment. We might have financial or personal disappointment. We might feel let down or betrayed or a loved one might be suffering. When we think about these events we feel a certain degree of pain and sadness.

But our thoughts about these events, (the time that it actually takes to think about them) only consumes a fraction of our day. What do we feel in the rest of our day? Do we allow ourselves to notice the beautiful skies and feel the gentle breeze? Do we notice the rains filling up the creeks? Do we allow ourselves to receive the love from our pets. Do we slow down enough to notice?

There is potential magic in almost every moment if we are open to receiving. That means letting go of our judgments and our expectations. It’s beyond explanation. We feel it at unexpected moments.

It is in these moments when we feel nurtured. But we have to let go of our concerns about the rest of our life and to appreciate the present moment. That’s all we have and that’s all there will ever be. The rest is just a memory or our imagination running wild about what might or might not happen. That future that we keep concerning ourselves with keeps changing by the minute. Enjoy what you have. Enjoy the gift of the present.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and speaker who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes. Give yourself the gift of coaching and make an investment in your future.

Are you ready to share your Unique Wisdom?

Mark Susnow — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 21:00:21 +0000

You’re out in the woods and you come to a crossroads. You’re not sure which trail to continue on. The trail might even seem to end. You assess the situation. You know if you take the wrong turn, it might be hours before you get back to your car. It might be dark by then.

In some ways that little anecdote is a microcosm of our life. At times life seems complicated and somewhat arbitrary especially when we’re in our victim mentality. All we can think about is how life is unfair. We’re immersed in a pity party. In those moments our focus is on what can go wrong, rather than the solution. We wait for a sign and when one comes along we don’t recognize it.

We seek out others for advice. There are plenty of people out there who mean well. We’re trying to figure out how what they are saying pertains to us, rather than listening to our inner voice. No one knows our situation and our capabilities better than we do. When we try to synthesize what other people are telling us and make it relevant to our life, we lose sight of our unique wisdom.

Each of us has something special to share. But when we water down what our real message is, our unique wisdom is not shared with the world. Not only do other people lose out on the benefit of our unique contribution, we are out of integrity with ourself.

Believe in yourself and let the world know what your ultimate truth is. They are waiting.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Perfectionism and Control

Mark Susnow — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 00:00:16 +0000

Every once in a while you have the good fortune to be in a room when the speaker says something so profound that you have to write it down. I always take that as a sign that I should not only write it down, but explore it further.

The process of writing then becomes a journey of discovery. Quite often that exploration leads to new insights.

“I am run by the need to control and to be perfect,” is what she said.

There is some of that attitude in all of us. We all know what control means. It implies a certain rigidity and unwillingness to allow for an expansion of what might be. We want it our way, whether it’s something that we are involved in, or our interaction with another person. Even though we have heard over and over again we can’t control another person, we keep trying.

The need to be perfect and to control implies a lack of trust in what might be. When we have a preconceived notion as to the perfect outcome, we limit the natural unfolding and what’s possible. We don’t allow for the possibility that the circumstances and our notion of perfection might change. We don’t allow for the possibility that perfection is an evolving dynamic state of being.

For many years my life was structured with raising a family and having a law career. In a professional setting we can see the need to be perfect as compliance with certain rules, regulations and deadlines. When I was an attorney, if we didn’t file a document timely, we wouldn’t get the opportunity to discuss the merits of our position. Being timely and getting the project done was just the price of admission.

We also had to mindful that there was an external standard that defined excellence and perfection. But even in that environment there was a great amount of subjectivity as to what was a perfect result. We are reminded of this truth by some of the phrases that are used in everyday conversations.
“You played that perfectly.” “That worked to perfection.“

Once you have paid the price of admission and are in the arena, you get to bring the real you to the party. You can be effective in a way that feels authentic and be successful in your career. In my own way I was able to make my career a form of self-expression and a way to more fully express who I was.

For various reasons, not all of us get to play in the arena. My friend, who I will refer to Carl in this article, was like that. For him getting it done wasn’t a priority.

He is a music prodigy. He can play six or seven instruments as well as anyone plays just one. For the last ten years he has been working on a recording project. But he is reluctant to put it out there and share it with others. For Carl nothing is good enough. At some point you have to let it go.

Life, like art, is a process and journey of discovery. By the time I wrote my book, Dancing on the River, I had much practice in letting go and trusting the process of creation. By that time I had written several newsletters and shared them with many others all over the world. I kept working them before releasing them to the universe. I always wondered if they were good enough. It was only by sharing them with others and allowing room for feedback that I developed the confidence that I had something of significance to contribute.

That’s how it worked for me with Dancing on the River. With each draft I felt closer to letting it go and sharing my contribution. At some point you have to let go of control and the need to be perfect and trust the feedback from the universe and from others.

Rather then thinking about the need to be perfect, think about perfection in a more enlightened way. Perfection is not an absolute standard that you are striving to get to, but a dynamic evolving state that has its share of peaks and valleys. In that process the path of perfection become your greatest teacher. You learn to enjoy each step on the way even when you are not sure where it is taking you.

What we find on this journey of discovery is that life has many more complexities than we envisioned. We can’t control every possibility and there are always going to be a few loose ends. We have to learn in live in this uncertainty. Finally we get to that place when we say to ourself, “It’s ready, I’m ready.” We let go and move on to the next phase. There always will be that next phase.

For me that next phase is the work that I am doing now which is an intuitive and creative process. Along the way we discover what life has in store for us. Sometimes life knocks us to our knees, but we get up and face another day stronger for the experience.

Each day becomes an ongoing adventure. We learn to embrace the unfolding of this adventure as the perfection of the universe.

Journey On.

Mark

THE REAL YOU

Mark Susnow — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 18:05:05 +0000

Wouldn’t it be great if what you truly wanted for yourself made a difference in the lives of others. I know that most of us would really like that. It would give our life meaning and purpose. If we know that what we do really makes a difference and is important, then we don’t let life’s problems and challenges stop us.

We want to make a difference, but sometimes question the value of what we are doing and ask ourselves if we are really helping others.

Life can benefit by you being the best you can be, even if times it seems a little self-centered. Isn’t that focus and determination the quality that most visionaries possess. As you go deeper and take what you are doing to the next level you open yourself up to a whole world full of possibilities that at one time you didn’t know existed.

When we achieve mastery in one area of our life, our accomplishment has a positive impact on everything else that we are involved in. And it even goes further as there are many others with whom we have never met who benefit from the work we have done.

You have the ability and means to make a positive impact. Don’t let the difficulties and the challenges distract you from your real purpose. They are there to motivate you to look deeper and to open your eyes to possibilities that you were unable to see before.

Be the best you can be. Be willing to share who you are. The world deserves it. Marianne Williamson say it best.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do…It’s not selfish or greedy to achieve your most deeply felt desires. What’s selfish is to do nothing, to accept less
than you could be, when you could be making a difference.

Let the real you shine.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Keep Making the Choice

Mark Susnow — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 19:11:25 +0000

There are some messages worth repeating because eventually it sinks in. We need to hear it said over and over again and in different ways by different people. It might be a book. a recording of a life talk or a casual conversation you have in a coffee shop, or for that matter wherever you happen to be.

You probably wondering by now what that message is. Hang on. You’ve probably heard it before.

Whatever you say or think becomes an affirmation. It becomes your life. If you say life is difficult it most certainly will seem that way. It doesn’t matter what you are doing, it will seem challenging. And quite often if we think something is going to be difficult we avoid it. We either don’t do it at all or procrastinate. Of course when we procrastinate, we could have completed the project several times over if we just sat down and began.

And you know the other side of this. Life is good when you say or think it is. It’s up to us to say it the way we want it. In a life-coaching session the other day with our good friend George, I encouraged his to say out loud that, “I’m happy.” After he said that there was a silence and he repeated it again. You could feel a peaceful presence and stillness in the room. He sat there and let it sink in.

We know by now that it’s not the situation or circumstances that determine how we feel or think about life. It’s our perspective and attitude that determines our experience of life.

We need to remind ourself that life is a gift and we can choose to enjoy it. As I often say, “I’m happy and I still have a few loose ends.” You can make that same choice.

Once you do and you need to make it over and over again, life’s possibilities seem endless. Not only that, but you’ll enjoy whatever you are doing.

Make room for the good to come into your life. Be curious as to what it’s going to look like.

ENJOY THE JOURNEY

MARK