We all want to find more joy and meaning in the midst of change. We have to learn to let of go of what might have been.There are no delete buttons or replays in life, but you can wonder. You can wonder, “What if? You can wonder what it would be like if you didn’t make the decision that you did?” I can think of numerous decisions that I made that altered the direction of my life.

It might have been saying yes to an invitation or saying no to an offer that looked too good to be true. When I said yes to my friend Kent’s invitation to visit him in Loveland, Colorado, it led to my meeting my wife Annie. Since that moment my life has been remarkably different. I could have easily said no and stayed in California. And then it was saying yes to a career change…from being a trial lawyer to a life coach. I gave the security of a successful career to seek a new path. Yes I miss the great lifestyle it offered me and often think about it. But I’ve become the person I’ve always wanted to be and it keeps getting better everyday.

That’s all anyone can ask for…that it keeps getting better everyday and more fulfilling. Life becomes an exciting journey of discovery. I have often written about how you start your day sets the tone for the day. Asking empowering questions is a big part of that. As I begin my day, I wonder about what the highlight might be.

By asking the question in this way, there will always be a highlight. As I’m writing this entry, I am wondering what the highlight might be during the rest of my day. I know something good will happen. I just have to be open to seeing it when it occurs.

In every minute in everyday we make a choice. Choose happiness.

But in the meantime….smile…and laugh a little bit more than yesterday and

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to find joy and meaning in the midst of change. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he
shares his message that we can make our life an exciting journey of discovery. He publishes the inspirational ezine, Letters on Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in the fall of 2009. http://www.inspirepossibility.com. 415.453.5016

When Les came in for a life coaching session yesterday, he was frustrated which surprised me. 2008 was a fairly challenging year for him. Because of the challenges Les reached a new level in his self-confidence. He had a health challenge that he overcame and was swept up in the stresses from the economic turmoil. As the year came to a close, not only had Les recovered from his health challenge, he was prospering in his business.

He was extremely optimistic for 2009. In many ways, Les was experiencing more good than he had experienced before. He was experiencing more financial success than he ever had, was in a better relationship than he had ever been in before, and proved to himself that he was resilient.

But he had a breakdown. The place he was living in had many problems and the landlord was slow in addressing them. I couldn’t believe how frustrated he was. He seemed to have forgotten all that he had accomplished in the year before which were significant.

Why was that? Les was now experiencing the land of abundance and well-being which was new territory for him and frightening. In some ways he was about to sabotage himself. So he had a collision while backing his vehicle into his driveway which contributed to his frustration. It set him back several thousand dollars. He was about to embark on a wrong strategy to make himself miserable.

Les wasn’t used to things going good in his life. He didn’t know how to handle it, so he created new things to get upset about and he was doing a good job at that.

As Les left the session, he had a new perspective and awareness of what he was doing. He realized that what he was getting upset about was small potatoes in the scope of things. If you have been reading this blog for a while, you know that Les’s VOJ or gremlin was rearing its head.

I’m sure you can relate to some of Les’s challenges. To a certain degree we all can.

There’s no better time than now to choose happiness. Allow yourself to experience the good in your life. Smile and laugh a little bit more than yesterday and JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to find joy and meaning in the midst of change. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he
shares his message that we can make our life an exciting journey of discovery. He publishes the inspirational ezine, Letters on Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in the fall of 2009. http://www.inspirepossibility.com. 415.453.5016

I have been noticing that in our coaching sessions this week, whether they are pertaining to life coaching or business coaching, the focus is the same.

Most people that I work with seem to have increasing challenges as they are affected by the national mood. While they remain optimistic, it still effects them on some level.

And some also have personal challenges dealing with other stressors. It could be a difficult relationship or a significant illness of a loved one.

Some not only have the responsibilities of a wage earner and business owner, but also the responsibilities of a care giver.

They are stretched in many directions.

In our calls, I always ask them about their self-care. It’s so easy to get lost in all of the responsibilities that you have, that you forget about yourself. You forget to take time for what nurtures you.

In normal times you should have a proactive self-care program. When you have more challenges than usual then you should increase the amount of time that you take for yourself. You are always going to have challenges. You can’t get away from it. Perhaps what bothers you now won’t bother you in a few months, but there will always be something else that comes up that concerns you. So life won’t stop. But you can develop a plan that will help you find more joy and meaning in your life.

Perhaps you think that you’re too busy…that you don’t have time. What you’ll find is that when you take just 10-15 minutes in the morning before rushing out of the house, your day will go smoother. When you take time for a meal, you’ll experience a deep sense of relaxation the rest of the day. If you take the time to read an inspirational magazine or book before falling asleep you’ll sleep better. It’s taking the time for yourself. It not only becomes a habit, it becomes a way of life. You couldn’t imagine your life any other way. It’s a choice. Choose happiness.

Smile…laugh a little bit more than yesterday and journey on

Mark

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to find joy and meaning in the midst of change. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he
shares his message that we can make our life an exciting journey of discovery. He publishes the inspirational ezine, Letters on Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in the fall of 2009. http://www.inspirepossibility.com. 415.453.5016

Have you ever said, “I’m wasting my time?” Maybe at least once? What does that really mean? And can we really waste time? Don’t we really learn from everything?

Perhaps when comparing the past to what we know now, we might think that we could have avoided some of the steps we took and some of the wrong turns. It might have been a bad relationship or a mistake in trusting a friend. It might have been selecting the “wrong” major in college or a dead-end job.

There have been times in my life when I was very productive and other times when nothing seemed to get done. Both were necessary for my growth and evolution.

I don’t think we can waste time. To think that assumes that we know are ultimate destiny. Just about everything that I have done or experienced when looking back at it, comes together like an invisible web. But it’s only looking back with hindsight that the web begins to become visible.

Trust that it’s all unfolding as it should. Everyone you meet and every experience that you have is all grist for the mill. You learn from it and it contributes to who you are today–even the so-called negative things.

We keep repeating the lessons of the past until we learn them and then we are ready to move on. It took many relationships to become clear as to what I wanted in a soul-mate. With each one, I learned more about myself. That’s the purpose of our life’s experiences. With each one we learn more about ourselves and what is important to us.

It’s a lifelong journey of discovery. Enjoy the journey. Happiness is a choice that you make each moment. And remember to smile and laugh a little bit more than yesterday.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational way. http://www.inspirepossibility.com

You might have your own definition of success. Success is more than making money. Success is more than being recognized in a career. It’s about being happy. It’s about liking who you are. It’s about having loving relationships. But if you are successful in a career and don’t have time to share your success with loved ones, you are missing out on one of the joys of life. With your busy lifestyle, you wonder how you can find that balance.

1. How you start your day sets the tone for the day. If you start the day in a hurry it’s extremely difficult to slow down. What I have seen is that most people wake up in the morning–rush out of the house, trying to make an appointment or deadline. Underneath their concern that they won’t be able to get it all done, is an underlying anxiety. Perhaps you feel the same way. You sometimes wish you had a magic wand that could make things different.”

Although there is no magic wand there is a morning practice that if implemented can change your life. After you wake up and before you do anything else, take 10-15 minutes for reflection. Perhaps you already have a meditation practice. If you don’t, just sit still and pay attention to your breathing.

After ten minutes or so, begin to focus on what you are grateful for. Perhaps there might be only a few things that you can think of in the beginning, but once you make this part of your daily practice, you’ll realize how blessed you are. By focusing on what you are grateful for, you shift your focus from what’s wrong about your life to what’s right. It’s an amazing practice, which has the power to transform your life.

Then by wondering about what the highlight of your day might be, you create a positive expectation as the day progresses. Briefly scan what you have to do during the day with that focus in mind. Of course you’re always open to those pleasant surprises… those moments of grace that uplift your spirit. It might just be for a moment or two but you are totally present in that moment.

2. Learn how to recognize and know your VOJ. The VOJ is that voice of judgment that drives you nuts. You would give anything to silence it for a few minutes. The sooner that you can recognize your VOJ, the sooner you can become free of the hypnotic spell that can last a lifetime if you don’t do anything about it. Doubting and self-criticism become the norm. But the doing is a different type of doing. It’s just noticing when the VOJ raises its voice. Simply by recognizing it, you break the spell. I have found that giving this voice a name is most effective in breaking the spell. I call my VOJ, Ralph. This is a lifelong challenge so don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t happen overnight.

3. Self-Acceptance is the next secret. Let’s be honest with ourselves. There are certain things we can’t change about ourselves. We can’t change who are parents are. We can’t change our country of origin. We can’t change all of the injustices in the world. We can try. But we can change, although challenging, how we think about ourselves and our circumstances. And we can change, although challenging, how we think about our bodies. Even though we are our own worst critics, our work is to accept those things that we don’t like about ourselves. It’s the acceptances of these attitudes and beliefs that is so freeing.

4. Introduce positive self-talk (VIP) into the conversation. Now that you are more familiar with those voices and patterns that have been running your life, it’s time to listen to a new voice that needs to be nurtured and cultivated. It’s a voice if honored and respected can change how you think about yourself. I call this voice your VIP. It’s the voice of Inspiration and Praise that we don’t listen to or hear enough. That voice, that I call Buddy is my inner champion. When I think that I shouldn’t have felt the way I did about something that happened or that I shouldn’t have acted in a certain way, Buddy sends me a few words of encouragement. He says to me, “you’re doing great. You handled that well.”

It takes conscious effort and resolve to cultivate your VIP. As you learn to trust and listen to it, how you feel about your life will shift.
Our work is to create more points of light that inspire us and make us feel good

5. Make time for the Jollies. So here we are again with another new phrase. No I haven’t lost my mind.
We all have our share of challenges that concern us from time to time; some more challenging than others. Some of us feel overwhelmed by all that we are faced with.
Even though life might be like that for you, there are still a lot of things that have given you joy at one time or the other. They might be little things that you have forgotten about.
Lately I have made time for tennis. I forgot how much fun playing tennis is. The same thing for dancing. Going dancing is always a lot of fun especially as I get better. The Jollies is taking the time to do what gives you joy. So when I say make time for the jollies…I mean make time for what gives you “joy.”
Those things that you have to do or that you are concerned about, don’t go away. Even when your “to do” list has plenty of things on it and you still have loose ends in your life, still make time for the jollies whatever they are for you. In the beginning it might take effort, but it wlll have a profound effect on the quality of your life.

6. Smile and laugh a little bit more than yesterday. Most of us are too serious. I was certainly that way. Once you accept those things about yourself that you used to be embarrassed by, there is no question that you will be lighter.
And isn’t that what it’s all about–becoming lighter.

When I was younger I thought about becoming enlightened. Enlightenment was the carrot that kept me going on my spiritual quest. With family and career my focus shifted. Even though I stopped thinking about enlightenment it still popped up from time to time. So I have come up with my definition that works for me. It means to “lighten up.” When you do, you have less stress, better health and more fun. I’m not suggesting for you to go out there and perform standup comedy, but see what happens if you tell a joke once in a while. Becoming more playful is a worthy challenge and a gift to all who are in your presence.
JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational way. http://www.inspirepossibility.com

I just got off the phone with one of my life coaching clients, let’s just call her Betty. We discussed a simple technique that would assist Betty in empowering herself.

If you have been a reader of my blog for a while or have read any of my other materials you know that I make frequent reference to that voice of judgment VOJ) which I call your gremlin-that voice that drives you nuts. No matter what’s going on, the voice takes over and tries to make you miserable. And if it doesn’t make you miserable it creates doubt in whatever you are doing.

It’s like a hypnotic spell that runs your life. I have found that the best way to break the spell is for you to just notice it by giving it a name. My gremlin’s name is Ralph. Whenever I worry about the future or am overly critical of myself, I know that it’s Ralph rearing his head.

There’s also that voice that puts a smile on my face…that voice that says, “hey you are doing great.” So that’s been the theme for the day with all of my coaching clients. Think of a name that embodies that person you would like to be-that person that makes you feel good when you think about them. The next time you look in the mirror smile and say to yourself, “hey, you’re doing great.”

Smile and laugh a little bit more than yesterday.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational way. http://www.inspirepossibility.com

Themes for the year. That’s what we’ve been discussing in the life coaching and executive coaching sessions so far. For example, your theme might be making your life an adventure. Or it might be seeing yourself, dancing for joy. Mine was seeing this year as a magical year.

Yet there is one theme that needs to be in the forefront. It is the one theme that holds us back from living a fulfilling life. And that is accepting ourselves. There is that voice that we repeat to ourselves, if only this was different about myself. It might be twenty pounds lighter, a few inches taller or shorter, more hair or different color hair. And I’m sure you have your variation on this theme.

In a life coaching session yesterday, let’s call her Bonnie felt that if only she were fifteen pounds lighter she would feel better about herself. Truth be told, Bonnie is a striking woman who most people notice. I guarantee you that noone thinks that Bonnie needs to lose any weight. But that’s not what’s important. Bonnie believes that if she lost that weight she would feel better about herself. She might for a while and then something else would come up. Bonnie has to accept herself and her perceived imperfections.

Many years ago Maxwell Maltz, a plastic surgeon, wrote the book PsychoCynernetics. Maltz noted that most of the patients who consulted with him, didn’t like a physical characteristic about themselves. He observed that even after performing the surgery and correcting the physical quality that they didn’t like, they still didn’t like themselves.

Maltz concluded that unless they were willing to do the inner work, their feeling about how they looked wouldn’t change. Unless they learned to love themselves, they would feel dissatisfied.

Loving yourself is a choice that you make over and over again. How we see our lives is a decision we make. Choose happiness and your whole world changes. What is it that you don’t accept about yourself? How would your life be different if you accepted that part of yoruself?

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational way. http://www.inspirepossibility.com

Where were you on this historic morning? It was a special moment that I wanted to share. When I heard that the town was opening its chambers so that we could see the inauguration together, I made the decision to head on down there. I left the house early and parked the car. On my way down the street, I stopped in the coffee shop, which also had a big screen and began a conversation with a good friend.

The whole world was watching as the new president took his oath of office. We are beginning a new era…an era full of hope and optimism, yet one with more than its share of challenges.

More than ever with innovative technologies almost daily, the world is not only changing rapidly but is connected in ways that never before existed. Through the internet, within seconds, anything we write can be read by someone around the world.

These last eight years have been challenging….the most challenging in many years. As a society we created the ground work for someone like Obama to show up. It was first the change of consciousness on an inner level and then the manifestation of this consciousness which is Obama. But first we had to create George Bush to get there.

And that’s the way our life works. It is our nature to create our lives as we live them. One thing always leads to the next. Even when you see darkness, you are preparing yourself so that you can see the light. Struggle prepares you for ease. Discipline leads to freedom. That’s the polarity of life’s seeming contradictions…it’s the duality we experience in day-to-day living.

There is no ending, just constant evolution. It’s all as one of my teachers would have said, “Grist for the Mill.”

You can’t stop the “dark clouds” from drifting through so don’t obsess about them. Know that when the “dark clouds” dissipate, you’ll see the sun again. Better days are here again.

Instead of sailing into the headwinds, we are sailing with the wind at our backs. It becomes more fun and more exciting.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational way. http://www.inspirepossibility.com

I have noticed that their is more optimism than there has been in a long time. And yes we still have a lot of problems. Many folks that I run into are excited about this Tuesday…we still have work to do, we will be reminded. We don’t mind because we believe that we have the leadership to guide and inspire us. We are willing to do our share.

So many times in our lives we have held back, never really allowing ourselves to think about our deepest longings for the fear that we will be disappointed. Isn’t that the way it is in many relationships that we have. To avoid feeling pain, we hold back, keeping something in reserve in case it doesn’t work. That’s our strategy and there is nothing wrong with it unless we stop going for our joy. And that’s what we do too often. We stop going for it and instead let the fear of the pain, run our lives.

I wrote in the Year of Living Magically that we are on the verge of a dawn of a renaissance. In more ways than one we are experiencing a rebirth in the way that we are thinking about the future. We are hopeful….it makes what we are doing now seem more meaningful.

As Martin Luther King once said, there is a Fierce Urgency of Now. Don’t wait any longer. The time is at hand. Whatever you dream about doing, do it now.

The world needs you. Know that by you being you, you are making a unique contribution to the world.

Choose to be connected…choose to accept more joy in your life…choose happiness.

Journey On

Mark

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational way. http://www.inspirepossibility.com

So here we are. I bet you’re curious about the title. No I haven’t lost my mind. Let me tell you how I came up with this phrase.

We all have our share of challenges that concern us from time to time; some more challenging than others. Some of us even feel overwhelmed by what they are faced with. Others, although not overwhelmed, are very concerned by what they are facing. So much so that they don’t do anything about it. They know what they have to do, but a paralysis sets in. They lose their nerve, and feel like they are losing control, yet hang on by a thread.

Even though life might be like that for you, there are still a lot of things that have given you joy at one time or the other. They might be little things that you have forgotten about because of all of your responsibilities. If you let them, your responsibilities and obligations take over and run your life.

In my own life, I keep pretty busy, but lately have made time for tennis. At one time in my life, I use to be a pretty good player. I hadn’t played for five years. I forgot how much fun playing tennis is. Going dancing is always lot of fun. It’s really taking time to do what gives you joy. So when I say make time for the jollies…I mean make time for what gives you “joy.”

Those things that you have to do or that you are concerned about, don’t go away. Even when you get them off your “to do” lists, they reemerge in a different form. Even when your “to do” list still has plenty of things on it and you still have loose ends in your life, what are some things you can do that will give you the “jollies?” Make a list that has at least 3 things on them. Make an agreement with yourself when you’ll begin them.

JOURNEY ON

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational way. http://www.inspirepossibility.com