What I find interesting is that when one worries, they imagine the worst case scenario. Think about it for a second. Imagine something that you worry about. If nothing comes to you, stay with me here as I’ll share with you a situation that is real common with some of my life coaching clients. They overly concern themselves with money. They project into the future that they will run out of money. If things are going well, they worry that it won’t stay that way. And if things aren’t going well, they worry that they’ll even get even worse.

When one worries they have a strong belief that they can predict the future. Quite often that worry is just a habit that has been with us for a long time. The truth is that we don’t really know what’s going to happen down the road. But we have a need to know, so we latch onto something which is familiar…a familiar emotion that’s been with us most of our life.

The first step in breaking free of this emotion, is realizing that you can’t predict the future. No one can. Once you accept that and become comfortable with “not knowing,” you can play more with your imagination and imagine a future scenario that is greater than anything you can imagine right now.

Being curious as to what that scenario is a fun exploration. Try it and see what happens. I’m excited about my book, Dancing on the River—Navigating Life’s Changes. I’m curious as to what it will lead to. I’m curious as to who I will meet in the process of letting people know about my book. I’m comfortable with not knowing. I’m curious as to what I’ll learn about myself.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will

But Les like many of us lived his life with false assumptions. He believed that when his money concerns were resolved and he found the one that he could take a breath and relax. Les was right about one thing, slowing down and taking a deep breath goes along way toward giving you more peace of mind. But Les’s assumptions about how his life would be different if a few of his debts were handled, were just that…assumptions, not truth.

Life was suffering from what I call the “Only if syndrome.” If the circumstances of his life were different, then he believed that could begin to enjoy life again. The only problem with this syndrome is that he will always be living in the future….thinking that an unknown future, which never comes, will be better than his experience of what’s happening in this moment. The truth is that Les has always had concerns about money.

We are all like Les to a certain extent. There are aspect to our life that are unsettling that we believe if resolved would change how we feel…the problem is that with this mindset we are delaying our happiness. We have to commit to a path that gives us more peace of mind and enables us to live in the now. If you have been a reader of this blog, you know how strongly I feel about the benefits of a meditation and gratitude practice.

Take the time to explore what is involved in beginning a practice. For more info, feel free to contact me.

Journey On

Sally had been so focused on survival and whether should would make it, that she hadn’t taken time to objectively evaluate where she was with her professional development. I suggested that for a moment that she imagine that she had planted seeds. In the beginning we don’t know which ones will make it. Eventually, some plants emerge–then our new focus is to cultivate and to enjoy them.

That’s what professional development is about. The first phase is making it. The next phase is to enjoy your success. Sally was in her new phase. It was time to enjoy the beauty in her life and to allow more joy in her life. Her apprenticeship was over.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Even though Sally had to drive over 50 miles each way to work, she drove an old truck with almost 200,000 miles. Because the truck still functioned, Sally didn’t want to buy another one even though she felt discomfort at the end of the day from driving so far.

Sally was prudent in the way that she approached life, but hesitated to reward herself for all of her hard work. Needless to say, she was reluctant to make changes in her life.

She had judgments about buying herself new things, which according to her, stemmed from her upbringing. Sally’s could justify buying herself a new vehicle as a justified business expense. She could also reward herself for all of her hard work and dedication. Yet she persisted in holding onto her beliefs.

Sally’s homework was to notice what her judgments were regarding other people who have nice things. Take a few moments to reflect upon your attitude. What comes up for you when you see people who have nice things? Do you like them? Do you try to make them wrong? Do you wish you were more like them?

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

So when we give thanks for our life we no longer think about the future-or have regrets about the past. It’s a day when we live in the present-with its perfection. Giving thanks really is an acknowledgement of the present moment.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

I have always said that one’s personal power is directly related to their ability to keep their agreements to themselves. As you become impeccable with your word to yourself your ability to achieve a level of mastery over your thoughts is achieved.

The theory being that you will become capable of shifting your thoughts from dwelling on the negative to the positive. Yes the preparation for this starts with saying, “Yes” to the gym” and doing that abwork. It starts with following through which becomes a positive pattern when you consistently keep your word. The hope is that with time and commitment you develop the ability to keep transcending what is possible in your life.

When is saying “no” stopping you? What is it preventing you from experiencing and accomplishing?

JOURNEY ON

MARK

And that’s the way with many things in life. Until you actually begin the journey you won’t know where the path that leads you to the magic garden will be. Don’t wait for the whole path to be revealed to you, it never is. As you become more present to what’s in front of you and all around you, you will be better able to recognize the opportunities that are presented to you.

Sometimes it’s a matter of creating your own path. Be the innovator and be willing to think out of the box. Being a master thinker and creator is a great asset. But you also have to take action. So here’s your part.

Perhaps there’s something you really want to happen in your life, a life dream, and you are not sure how to make it happen. After you have identified what that is, what are three things you can take to help you realize your dream?

When will you take them? Who is going to hold you accountable for going forward?

JOURNEY ON

MARK

This condition manifests physically as an increased heart rate. Peter is a great intellect and has a powerful mind. He has an answer for everything and most things he can figure out. So he figured that therapy is the answer. It will be to a certain degree.

One thing that Peter has not explored is a more holistic approach to look at what can he do to transcend this tendency to be anxious.

I didn’t try to dissuade Peter from therapy, but I suggested that he also meditate. Thru daily meditation, he could start to develop a stillness that transcends thought. That’s what meditation does. It’s not concerned with why you feel a certain way, or what caused you to get this way.

It takes you to that place beyond thought where the mind is still; where you are able to let go and let it be.

I don’t know if Peter will actually meditate. But I do know that the people who I work with in my life coaching practice who meditate regularly have an inner confidence that they didn’t experience prior to meditating. But you have to sit down and do it. You’ll have excuses why you aren’t doing it; but it’s going beyond your resistance where the real opportunity for transformation occurs.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow’s life has been an unfolding journey of discovery. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

Let’s turn our attention to what we can do to expand the life force inside of us. Most, if not all of us, live too much in our heads. Our thoughts control our lives. So much so, that instead of moving forward, our good intentions, stay in our minds and don’t get acted upon.

Perhaps the most important thing you can do to shift this pattern is to live from the heart. Cultivating a spiritual practice is the pathway that leads to this way of being. There are several forces at play here. Initially you have to make a commitment to the practice, which will support you in overcoming your resistance. Resistance prevents you from moving forward and living life fully. This is especially so when cultivating a spiritual practice or discipline. That’s why it’s referred to as a “practice or discipline.” Meditation, Yoga and Tai Chi are all practices that I have worked with at various times of my life. All of them cultivate the energetic life force which often shows up in the form of magnetism or enthusiasm. As an added bonus, several studies have documented the health benefits of these various practices. Not only will your ability to handle stress become better, but the benefits to your immune system are enormous.

When speaking to groups or to individual clients, I have noticed that many people struggle with finding their life purpose and the meaning of life. Because of this they sometimes feel lonely and alienated. This won’t change until they develop a connection with a higher power, greater than they are. Once they do, they will be reminded that they share this universe with many other species.

A spiritual practice is a great beginning, but just one piece of the pie. You still need to do more to expand your life force. I am a firm believer in the value of movement. There is nothing more profound than exercise to get your energy moving. Tell the truth. How often do you exercise? By exercising you get the endorphins going. Instead of feeling sluggish, you feel an energy that wasn’t there just a few minutes before. No matter how I am feeling emotionally, after about fifteen minutes of cardio, I feel much better. But as I have said before, you have to do the work.

Once you are grounded in a spiritual practice and exercise consistently, the next step, which is to live passionately, is not too much of a stretch. Finding something that you are passionate about becomes a reason for living. No matter what it is, that passion positively affects other areas of your life. In my former career as a trial attorney there were times when I was passionate about my work. But for the most part as time went on, it became mainly a business to me and I lost my passion for my career. If I didn’t have a passion for playing music and for my spiritual life, I would have felt like I was just going through the motions. Since I did have those passions, no matter what I was doing, I was able to bring my enthusiasm with me.

The final step is to develop a consciousness of Impeccability, which extends beyond where you ordinarily stop. Most of us have a sense of integrity in our relationship with others. We do what we say we are going to do. We’re reluctant to let someone down, even agreeing to things that perhaps we don’t really want to do. As a result, quite often when we say “Yes” to someone else, we are saying “No” to ourselves… to those life-empowering agreements we have made with ourselves…such as taking the time for our spiritual practice, our self-care program which includes exercise and eating healthier. So often when we wake up in the morning we say to ourselves, “I’m not in the mood. I’ll skip it today.” I know that one well. The trap we can fall into, is that we might say the same thing the next day, and before we know it, we are out of the habit.

Resistance prevents us from fully recommitting to our better self. It affects everything we do in some way. It might be “not doing something” or it might be “not participating fully.” By developing a consciousness of impeccability we have an inner resource that helps us overcome our resistance. Imagine what your life would be like, if once you said you were going to do something, there was no more discussion and you did it.

Many years ago, my son Josh brought home from the gym a quote that uses the word Workout as a metaphor for that consciousness of Impeccability. Take the liberty to use a different word than workout if you feel so inclined.

A workout is 25 percent perspiration and 75 percent determination. Stated another way it is one part physical exertion and three parts self discipline.

A workout makes you better today than you were yesterday.
It strengthens the body, relaxes the mind and toughens the spirit. When you work out regularly your problems diminish and your confidence grows.

A workout is a wise use of time and investment in excellence. It is a way of preparing for life’s challenges and proving to yourself that you have what it takes to do what is necessary.

A workout is a key that helps unlock the door to opportunity and success. Hidden within each of us is an extraordinary force. Physical and mental fitness are the triggers that can release it.

A workout is a form of rebirth. When you finish a workout you do not simply feel better, you feel better about yourself.

I love hearing from you. Let me know what is going on in your life. Please feel free to forward Letters on Life to those in your circle.

JOURNEY ON

MARK