The Ultimate Relationship

The deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated.
William James

“You are great, wonderful and the person I’ve always wanted to be with.” Those sweet empowering words remind you that you’re loved and appreciated. We all want that. It’s our natural state to be loving. But with the busyness of our lives we forget what that natural state is and how to be in it. There is nothing better than a great relationship. It reminds us of what’s possible. You feel you belong. You feel empowered. You feel an incredible aliveness.

But it begins with ourselves. Ultimately we have to learn to love ourselves, including our imperfections, which are a big part of who we are. Once we do, it’s easier to accept the imperfections in others and to connect and embrace them.

Then we blossom. It’s our nature, just as it is the nature of the rose, to blossom and share our warm sensual essence. When you are fortunate enough to be in the magnificence of the rose, your senses come alive.

We live in a relational world. On a fundamental level what we all want is to deeply connect with others, but we’re not sure how to go about doing it.

Connection is a path and like most paths, there are challenges along the way. The good news is that connection can be cultivated. Before I embarked upon the coaching path I was a decent connector when I wanted to be, but I didn’t consider it one of my strengths. Over the years I’ve worked at it.

The ability to connect with others opens up a whole new world. When you connect with your heart, body and soul, connection occurs in an instant.

Connection transcends stereotypes and judgments, creating fertile ground for a new dialogue, a dialogue not constrained by history, but open to common ground for a consciousness of possibility.

Connection is the ultimate gift to yourself and to others. When you give of yourself, you receive the ultimate joy.

Let me share with you a few strategies that I have found effective in cultivating more connection in my life. After meditation, I express gratitude for the gift of connection that I have with others. Perhaps in the beginning of this practice I didn’t feel or believe it totally. But over time I’ve noticed that my ability to connect has become a strength.

Being curious is invaluable. In some ways, I’ve transformed being curious into a fun game. Whenever I go to a gathering, I’m curious with whom I’ll connect.

In the last few years I’ve expanded upon this practice. Before I leave on a trip, I wonder about who I’ll have the best connection with, which sets the tone for the entire trip. The synchronicity that occurs is amazing.

A thought deeply resonates within me each time I experience one of those chance encounters that provides a missing piece to the puzzle, a thought that makes greater sense to me now than it ever did. As we continue to evolve, our tribe of kindred souls is ready to meet us, in a place open to possibility unrestrained by judgment. Synchronicity then becomes the norm, rather than the infrequent occurrence.

Fueled by our ability to come from the deep place of love within, we begin the process of fulfilling the deepest craving within that James refers to.

With that in mind, begin your day with that openness by acknowledging yourself. Look in the mirror, smile and say, “You are great, wonderful and the person I’ve always wanted to be with.

You know I love to hear from you. Let me know what’s up for you. Feel free to pass this article onto those in your circle and invite them to become part of the Inspire Possibility family. If you haven’t done so already, become a fan of inspire Possibility on Facebook.

Enjoy the journey.


The Soul of Uncertainty is coming.

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive-life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River: Navigating Life’s Changes. For more information,

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