Archive for October, 2012

LEARN TO LOVE THE LOOSE ENDS

Wednesday, October 31st, 2012

In a life coaching yesterday, Carl, like many others, complained about not having enough time. He acted as if it was a rare commodity. He complained about his commute, the different responsibilities that he had and how his life was slipping away. Carl was hoping that someday he could do what he wanted. He longed for the day when he could be peaceful, happy and loving. Of course that day was sometime in the future when he would be retired which might be ten years from now.

I explained to Carl if what he valued and wanted was peace, love and happiness that he didn’t have to wait. As I’ve written before on numerous occasions, the only perfect time is now. Now is the time to be the person you want to be. Yes I mean right now. I know that you have a few loose ends…maybe more than a few…I have them too.

Learn to love those loose ends——they help you grow. Aren’t loose ends really that edge between where you are now and where you want to be. Right now I’m studying the piano. There is always something new to learn. No matter how accomplished I become, there will always be something new to learn. Yes at times it seems frustrating and overwhelming, but I break it down knowing that by working on it today I’ll be better than I was yesterday. In the process it helps me get on the positive side of change.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

THAT FIRST STEP

Thursday, October 18th, 2012

As a life coach I have heard almost every excuse that there is. The number one excuse is “Someday when the circumstances are different I’ll do it.” That someday has many variations of the same theme that use slightly different words. It might sound something like this:
When I graduate.
When the economy picks up.
When I meet the one.
When I get divorced.
When I get some money.
When I retire.
When I have more time

And it goes on. What do all of these excuses have in common? It is the belief that different circumstances that might occur in the future, will provide the missing link in our lives… but it doesn’t work that way because when that future arrives, there will be more excuses. They’re similar but slightly different. There will always be new variations on the same theme.

Putting off enjoyment of life and waiting to do what you really want to do is an unhealthy habit. There will always be reasons not to do something or to start something new. There is no virtue is sitting on the river bank and watching the river of life flow by without you.

You know what I’m getting at…you need to make a decision rather than making an excuse and decide whether you really want to do something. If you do, then come up with a plan. Then take the first step toward implementing that plan. It can be a little step. It’s like anything that you learn. That first step might be challenging at first but then it becomes second nature. But you have to work it to get there. And then you’re ready for the next level.

The only perfect time to get on the positive side of change is now.

ENJOY THE JOURNEY

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

THE HIDDEN BENEFITS OF GOALS

Wednesday, October 10th, 2012

The future is not some place we are going to, but
one we are creating. The paths are not to be found, but
made, and the activity of making them changes both
the maker and the destination…
—John Schaar

We keep evolving; our work is never done. We think about the inner qualities that we need to work on so that we can become the person we want to be. We think about what we can do to make a difference in the world. We think about what we want to accomplish. We all have goals in one form or the other.

Goals give us a focus and direction. In the early years, getting into law school was a goal, so was becoming an accomplished musician. Meeting my life partner and having a family was another. And there were the many financial goals, some of which I’ve achieved and some I haven’t. There have been several studies that have documented that working with goals substantially increases your likelihood of success. The research also documents that writing these goals down increases the likelihood of success even more. What the studies haven’t demonstrated as of yet are the hidden benefits of having goals.

Let’s explore this concept. Once you achieve your goal you’ll feel good for a while. But it doesn’t stop there. It’s human nature that once you achieve your goal, you’ll set another one.

We’re always going to look for new rivers to explore. There
is no question that working with goals is a powerful tool in
transforming your life. Yet many people have an aversion to
working with them or choose modest ones so they won’t be disappointed.

Reaching your goal is not as important as who you become in the process. Goals are not an end-all but a beginning. They create a focus so that in the pro-
cess you become more than who you are now. Every aspect of your life is affected positively. In the process you build a foundation for a life path that is unique to you.

Let me give you a few examples. My nephew Tyler’s goal, a personal trainer while in college, was to become the top producer at the gym. Although he didn’t quite reach his sales goal, what he gained has been much more important. In the process Tyler had to improve upon his communication skills and to have a better understanding of what motivates people. Most of these people were much older than he was and had already achieved a high level of success in their lives. In the process of trying to achieve his goal, he became an expanded person, which has benefited him in every aspect of his life.

Let me tell you about Carl. In his mid fifties, overweight and out of shape, his self-esteem was low. Quite often he had the feeling that life had passed him by. Then one day he took up running. It actually began with brisk walking. After training on a regular basis, he completed a 10K race. That was the turning point. Did it matter where he placed? What was more important was who he became in the process. Recently he completed a half marathon. Now Carl is in great shape and his self confidence is sky high. In the process of training he gave up smoking which had been a life-long habitat. Carl is excited about life again.

If your goal is to have a great relationship, you have to become a more evolved person. If your goal is to become a successful entrepreneur, you need to first become more adventurous, more positive and more resourceful. I am sure that Tyler’s experience at the health club will benefit him in future endeavors.

No matter what it is you desire, working with goals brings you closer to becoming the person you want to be and living the life you want to live.

Even so, most of us experience a certain level of resistance. No matter how much we want to do something or how much we believe it would be good for us to do, there is another other voice that is giving us a different message. Overcoming our resistance is the gateway to living a fulfilling life.

A few years ago, during a workout which I resisted doing, I noticed a quote at the gym that spoke to me and I think will speak to you and help you overcome the resistance in your life. As you read excerpts from this quote think of the “Workout” as a metaphor for life. The form of the workout doesn’t matter.

WHAT IS A WORKOUT?
A workout is one part physical exertion and three parts self discipline.
A workout makes you better today than you were yesterday.
It strengthens the body, relaxes the mind and toughens the spirit.
It prepares you to meet life’s challenges.
A workout is a key that helps unlock the door to opportunity and success.
Hidden within each of us is an extraordinary force.
Physical and mental fitness are the triggers that can release it.
A workout is a form of rebirth. When you finish a workout,
you do not simply feel better, you feel better about yourself.

Whatever it is you want to do or accomplish take that first step and begin the “workout” that is unique to you.

As the famous author and philosopher Mark Twain re-
minds us:
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed
by the things you didn’t do, than by the ones you did.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sail.
Dream…Explore…Discover.”

So what is your goal? What is your “big dream”? Remember our dreams were just ideas at one time. Those of us who feel fulfilled and successful have taken the necessary steps to begin actualizing the dreams we have envisioned.

You know I love to hear from you. Let me know what’s happening in your life. Please feel free to forward this letter to those in your circle.

ENJOY THE JOURNEY

MARK
Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.

DOUBTS AND SECOND GUESSING

Friday, October 5th, 2012

Twelve years ago I made one of the biggest decisions in my life. I transitioned from being a successful trial lawyer to what I do now as an executive and life coach and motivational speaker.

Do I ever wonder if I made the right decision? Yes and more than on just a few occasions. That decision led to where I am now. Writing “Dancing on the River: Navigating Life’s Changes” was another important decision. I refer to it as a decision because there were many times when I could have just abandoned the project especially when I didn’t feel that I was making any progress…there were many days when I didn’t feel like writing and somedays the ideas and insights weren’t there….but I kept at it. I was persistent because I had the end result in mind and knew how fulfilled I would feel upon completion.

I am so thankful for that decision. It was a turning point. Since then I’ve been excited about my life, yet I still wonder at times if I made the right decision.

So doubts are part of it. They let you know that you have thoroughly thought about what you are getting yourself into. That second guessing doesn’t add anything to your life except add to your frustration and stress.

Even though your past hasn’t been perfect, you have been successful in many ways. The past has provided you with the insights and tools to enable you to get you where you are now. You now have the commitment to get ahead in your life. You know that what looks like a disappointment initially actually just might be an opportunity in disguise.

ENJOY THE JOURNEY

MARK

Mark Susnow, is an executive & life coach and thought leader who inspires others to believe in themselves. He is passionate about life being an exciting journey of discovery. His enthusiastic and inspiring keynotes on change, leadership and connection thoroughly convey this message to his audiences. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of Dancing on the River…Navigating Life’s Changes and Discover the Leader Within.


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