ARE YOU HAVING FUN YET?
In a life coaching session this morning, with let’s call him Chuck, we took a look at the common patterns that were running his life.
Let me tell you a little bit about Chuck. He is a lawyer who was involved in litigation. He was feeling victimized by the other lawyer and by the Judge. As he was telling me about what was going on he was obviously stressed. He had difficulty in sleeping. He felt attacked, misunderstood and angry.
Do Chuck’s patterns seem familiar to you? In interactions with other people, how many times do you feel attacked and misunderstood? How many times do you that you have been defensive?
Let’s take a look at how Chuck reacted to see if we would have reacted in the same way. When the other parties to the lawsuit disagreed with Chuck, he took it personally. We all do that. What about you? How many times do you take it personally when someone disagrees with you? Perhaps you don’t feel respected.
Let’s get a little bit deeper into Chuck’s psyche. There is no question that Chuck likes being a lawyer, but the heat of the moment triggered all of the negative voices that were trying to run his life. In fact they were. Chuck started thinking that he wasn’t a good lawyer and that he mishandled the situation. We all tend to go there. We think we’re inadequate. We’re not good enough. That voice in coaching we refer to as our gremlin. That gremlin is the voice of judgment that drives us crazy. You know it well.
I suggested to Chuck that he separate his gremlin from the rest of his life. I suggested that he give that gremlin a name. I call mine Ralph.
Once we see the gremlin just as a voice and not who we are, the power it has over us, dissipates.
Finally I suggested to Chuck that he shift his thinking to look at his work as fun. He likes it and in fact loves it at times. It’s a radical concept and yet so simple. Declare yourself by simply stating that “this is fun. I’m having a good time.” It’s up to each of us. I call this shift in attitude Dancing on the River. Which is a consciousness that is a reflection of a life decision to be happy in the moment that we make over and over again.
JOURNEY ON
MARK
Mark Susnow, is an executive and life coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former trial attorney for 30 years, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He is the author of, Dancing on the River:Navigating Life’s Changes.