Archive for July, 2009

The one hour formula to getting things done

Tuesday, July 28th, 2009

It works. It’s easy to find an hour to do anything. What this means is that you can complete major projects without altering your schedule. Just knowing this gets rid of a lot of stress. First estimate how long you think the particular project will take. Let’s say five hours. Then schedule it into your appointment book. Then it’s a matter of honoring what’s in your appointment book. It seems that when we write something down it has more significance…It makes it more real.

Here’s another way to look at it. Think about all the things you are “good at” or perhaps were “good at”. All of them required practice and commitment. Big projects are nothing more than a bunch of little ones. A movie is really hundreds of stills moving at an accelerated pace.

Part of living in this day and age is to slow down the pace. So the movie of your life is nothing more than just a series of moments. And as you become more focused on these moments rather than the future you’ll be less stressed out. You’ll enjoy what you’re doing more and less concerned what will happen down the road.

So slow it down and enjoy the moment. The one hour formula is a good start. As you are consistent with this practice your life will be dramatically different.
JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

12 INSIGHTS ABOUT LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP

Monday, July 20th, 2009

Read Each One Carefully and Think About It a Second or Two.

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.

2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won’t make you cry.

3. Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can’t have them.

6. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

7. Don’t waste your time on a man/woman, who isn’t willing to waste their time on you.

8. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.

9. Don’t cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

10. There’s always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.

11. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

12. Don’t try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.

REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

MAKE SOMEONE SMILE–IT RELEASES ENDORPHINS

Thursday, July 16th, 2009

It has become increasingly clear to me that the way to transform your mundane everyday life into a playground of fun and opportunity is to change the way you are throughout the day. The fact that I am and thousands of others are blogging and thousands are reading our blogs speaks to the fact that just about everyone is tied to their computer speaks for itself. How many times a day do you check your email? I notice with my business that people contact me via email rather than using the phone. I find myself doing this also.

What happened to the old fashioned way of greeting each other when we smiled and asked each other how we were? It is true that often this was also mechanical but it’s time to reverse the trend and take time again for each other. Too many of us have lost the ability to engage in a warm conversation. Too many of us couldn’t connect with others even if our lives depended on it. We don’t make the effort. Real communication is an art and process.

Let’s make a start. I have an idea and a challenge. For the next week your job is to get one person a day to smile. If that is too easy then step it up to two and then perhaps three. Let me know how you do. Also 25 smiles per day on your part goes a long way. Think of all the facial muscles you’ll activate. And the neurons connecting the muscles to the brain release those good endorphins.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

How is saying,NO, stopping you from living the life u want?

Tuesday, July 14th, 2009

KEEP YOUR WORD: Today I MADE myself go to the gym…What good is a gym if you don’t go? It felt good. I didn’t give into my saying to myself, “That’s good enough, I went there a few days ago.” Lately that self talk has been limiting and preventing me from taking the next step. Now I am motivated to change my workout frequency. I do mountain bike and I do get exercise that way….but I know I need to do that ab work. The ab work that most of us hate. And we hate noticing that’s what we need to do. And the abs are the only thing.

I have always said that one’s personal power is directly related to their ability to keep their agreements to themselves. As you become impeccable with your word to yourself your ability to achieve a level of mastery over your thoughts is achieved.

The theory being that you will become capable of shifting your thoughts from dwelling on the negative to the positive. Yes the preparation for this starts with saying, “Yes” to the gym” and doing that abwork. It starts with following through which becomes a positive pattern when you consistently keep your word. The hope is that with time and commitment you develop the ability to keep transcending what is possible in your life.

When is saying “no” stopping you? What is it preventing you from experiencing and accomplishing?

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach, inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

RELATIONSHIPS:FINDING THE ONE

Tuesday, July 7th, 2009

I felt nervous when I sent out my first newsletter seven years ago. I wondered who would want to read it and what I could say that would make a difference in someone’s life. I was really wondering whether it was going to be good enough. Underlying this concern was the fear that I’m not good enough. Relationships remind us of this feeling. Let me share with you when it started for me.

I was away from home for the first time at UC Berkeley. There is always someone you meet that you look up to who seems to have all the answers. Mike Breen was that guy for me. I had just turned 17 and at 19 Mike seemed to possess that wisdom and experience about girls that was missing in my life.

I remember the defining conversation like it was yesterday. We were on the asphalt basketball court with some other students. After a while, Mike and I were the only ones still playing. This was my chance.

”Mike what do you do if you meet a girl and you really like her and maybe even love her?”
Mike coolly replied with that air of maturity and experience,
“You tell her how you feel.”
I was confused, “What if she says she doesn’t love you back?”
That was one of my biggest fears and a few years later at the end of my junior year I felt that pain of rejection when my girl friend Bobbi told me she loved someone else. I made the decision that I would never feel that pain again so I avoided anyone who could hurt me like Bobbi had.

What I did to avoid getting hurt!

One thing I did was to select partners who I knew did not fit my picture of the person I wanted to be with. By finding enough faults with them I could keep them at a distance and eventually move on so as to avoid getting hurt. Another approach was to select a partner who was emotionally unavailable. They were hopelessly self centered, in other relationships, or afraid of intimacy because of the same wounds that I had experienced. If I was really honest with myself it was obvious from the very beginning. But as we know facing the truth is not always so easy.

Even though I felt that I wanted a life long partner, the pattern of avoidance lasted for many years. During this phase of my life I consulted with many teachers and mentors and participated in many personal growth workshops, always on some level focusing on overcoming my barriers to having a great relationship. Sometimes there’s a saying or a poem that resonates with you and makes the biggest difference in your life. For me it was the following quote by Anais Nin that inspired me in my quest.

“And the day came when the risk to remain closed in a bud
became more painful than the risk to blossom.”

Have your ever thought about the connection between trust and risk? To have a great relationship you must be vulnerable. As you expand your capacity to be vulnerable you also expand your capacity to let go and trust. As my attitudes and beliefs shifted I was able to embrace my fears, overcome my barriers and attract my soul mate, Annie. We have been on this journey together for over 25 years.

Let me share with you a few insights that have enabled me to embrace this journey. In a subsequent article, I’ll share with you insights as to what is necessary to go deeper.

We all want to be with someone who we think is special. Regardless of how special they are, if they are not interested in you in the same way you are interested in them, it will never work. Be willing to take a honest look at whether they love you in the way you want to be loved. If they are self absorbed and self centered they probably won’t be capable of loving you in the way you want. I think most of us really know this in the beginning, but we long so much for this special type of relationship that we overlook the obvious.

There are many reasons why we don’t recognize this pattern sooner, especially if we haven’t been in a committed relationship for some time. It’s not unusual for us to think that perhaps there’s something wrong with us, so we give up on finding the love that we really want and overlook the obvious. We question our values and choose a partner that on some level we know isn’t the right one. What complicates matters is that quite often we have a mental image or concept of the kind of person we want to be with. If our partner does not fit that image, our emotions and heart will be in conflict with our mind.

We all have dreams and goals. Honor them by asking yourself if you and your partner share the same dream. If you have different dreams and a different vision it’s going to be difficult for the relationship to reach its fullest potential. I had been there many times before meeting Annie and I know that it’s difficult to admit to yourself “what’s so.” Pay attention to the clues. If you desire a long term relationship and pick a partner who hasn’t had a relationship greater than six months, the likelihood is that this new relationship won’t last much longer.

I know there are many books written on relationships. These are just some of my thoughts. I realize that a lot more can be said and in a subsequent letter I will focus on things you can do to enhance the quality of your relationships and to deepen your connection. I hope my experiences and insights inspire possibility in your life Feel free to pass this letter on to those in your circle.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow’s life has been an unfolding journey of discovery. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016

FOCUS ON THE STEP IN FRONT OF YOU

Saturday, July 4th, 2009

I’m excited. Lance Armstrong, a hero of mine, is again competing in the Tour de France. His book, It’s not about the Bike. is one of the most inspirational books I’ve ever read.

Throughout the years, I’ve been an avid mountain bike enthusiast. When I’m on the trails, I’m reminded of the freedom that I often experienced in my youth. When I saw my young friend Bobby, )I’m like a big brother to him) at the health food store we talked about going on a mountain bike ride. I used to ride on the mountain quite regularly…Lately I haven’t been as consistent, so I had some reservation about going on this ride. We did go a few days later. The few days prior to the ride I thought about which trail to take and the difficulty of each one.

I knew that no matter what trail we took I would be out of my comfort zone. Here we were and I looked at the top of the trail and wondered if this was too difficult for me. I glanced at the steepness of the incline somewhere in the 25-30 degree range.

In the past when trying to climb these more difficult trails I felt tired before I even began. Off we went. I was determined to make this day different. I had been experimenting with a new approach.

Once I looked at where I was headed my focus was on what was immediately in front of me. When I just looked at the one or two yards ahead I didn’t think about the steepness. So that’s what I did. One step at a time. Gradually we approached the top. I wasn’t tired and felt excited about what my next challenge was going to be.

And that’s the way it is with our lives. When we have a project that needs to be done we think about it in its entirety. We think about the difficulty and sometimes the task seems daunting. When we change the inquiry from “can I do it” to “what’s the next step” our life becomes not only manageable but easy and fun. So I ask you….What’s your next step?

JOURNEY ON

MARK

Mark Susnow’s life has been an unfolding journey of discovery. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change will be released in early 2010. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016


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