Navigating Life’s Changes
We all have a unique way of communicating our story, a way that reflects our life experiences. The photographer uses a camera, the artist a brush, and the musician a melody or rhythm. As the years go by there is more to tell as we experience more of life. As we keep evolving we look through a different filter, paint with a different color, sing a different song or feel a different rhythm.
When you have children, June is the time for graduations. It was six years ago that my son, Josh, graduated from high school and then a few years later my daughter, Makaela, graduated. This year it is my youngest, Savanna’s turn. Graduations are symbolic of the transitions in life. In some ways we are always transitioning from one phase to another, each with its challenges and opportunities.
I think back as I eagerly await the graduation ritual. There’s always a field in the midst of a picturesque setting with mountains in the background. And then it begins. I look toward the stage. I listen with one ear to what the various speakers have to say while my mind races in overdrive. I think about how rapidly my children have changed and how I have had to let go of some of my expectations in order to stay connected to them. There’s more work to do. It was at Josh’s graduation that this message hit home. During the principle’s talk to the students and their families, she made reference to Spencer Johnson’s classic parable about change, “Who Moved My Cheese.”
It is a paradox of life that while our children change rapidly, we as adults try to put the brakes on the speed of change. We like to think to some degree we are in control of our life by holding on to what we’re used too.
“No,” Hem quickly responded. “I like it here. It’s comfortable. It’s what I know. Besides it’s dangerous out there.”
Johnson, Spencer “Who Moved My Cheese?”
Just like Hem, we have artfully crafted a comfort zone, although familiar, keeps us boxed in. That’s the way it was for me. During many periods of my life, I became attached to the way things were, resisting the changes that were necessary for me to grow. It could be a career or a relationship. I finally took that Leap of Faith and left the comfort of my law practice, ten years ago, to begin the journey that I am on now.
By making this change, I have created the breathing room that has allowed me to grow into the person I am today. Although this path has been unpredictable at times, I have learned how to navigate life’s changes. In the process of becoming an expanded person, we develop a deeper sense of who were are and a deeper sense of self. Some of these changes we intentionally create, such as my career change, while others just happen. Change is a constant process. What is challenging for some of us to accept, is that as our bodies change (just take a look at some of your old pictures) your physiology and chemistry also changes. By the time you’ve reached the wisdom years, you’ve been through many cycles. Even though these changes were not necessarily what you were expecting you have learned how to navigate these deeper waters. Although I’ve felt my share of fear and pain during some of these transitions, I’ve learned how to let go and trust that I will land on my feet. And I usually do. The letting go offers me a new experience of life…in which I experience all it, the pains, the sorrows, and the joys that gives me a newfound vitality and excitement. A life in which everyday is new, although not necessarily fun. I know I’m alive and have a deeper sense of myself. I smile and laugh again.
Perhaps Anais Nin says it best. “Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it.”
I recognize that there is a natural rhythm of life, much like the rhythm of the seasons that is constantly changing. At times we experience a stillness and at other times a quickening. There are moments when your heart feels full and then at other times you feel contracted. And then there are those moments when for no reason at all, you experience a deep sense of joy and fulfillment. Of course the other side of that is also true, when for no apparent reason, you feel a profound sadness.
When you flow with this natural rhythm and encompass it all, rather than trying to resist the aspects that you don’t want to experience, you experience an effortless quality in your life. You instinctively know what to do and life just seems to work. Life is easy…more fun…more meaningful…and less of a struggle. You are excited about getting up in the morning and feel like you have a purpose.
You probably want to know what you can do, so that you can flow with this natural rhythm. Honor the transitions. They are the catalyst for you to be with yourself Be grateful for them. Know that when you are feeling pain, that like the wind, even though it still hurts, it won’t last forever. When the winds change, and they always do, the clouds of despair lift and you experience a deeper sense of joy and meaning in the midst of this change. It could happen in a heartbeat.
Look forward to this change as opportunity, as adventure, as possibility. Accept and love those feelings and qualities about yourself that you so often try to avoid. As you look inward and take time for reflection through meditation and prayer you experience a deeper sense of inner peace. As you become more accepting of the fully integrated you, you become more accepting of your humanity. It is the acceptance of your humanity that you know we are all connected.
Let me know what is changing in your life. I love receiving your many responses and feedback. Thank you and keep them coming. Feel free to pass this letter on to the friends in your circle and let them know about the advantages of being on the journey.
Journey On
Mark
Throughout his life, Mark has always made a practice of taking a leap of faith whenever he heard the call for something more. His life has been an unfolding journey of discovery. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. Whether coaching one-on-one, speaking to groups, or leading a retreat, he shares his message that regardless of our life’s circumstances, we can find more joy and meaning in our life. He is a sought after speaker and coauthor along with Zig Ziglar and Brian Tracy and other experts in the book 101 Great Ways to Improve your Life. Mark’s new book, Dancing on the River…Finding Joy and Meaning in the Midst of Change. mark@inspirepossibility.com 415.453.5016