Archive for September, 2008

The changing nature of the river

Monday, September 29th, 2008

When you’re fully immersed in the “river of life,” one thing is certain. The nature of the river is always changing. Sometimes the water is raging and sometimes it’s calm. When you step out in life and get out of your comfort zone the currents get swifter. In fact even if you don’t step out of your comfort zone, the currents will change.

So what’s that mean for you. You can’t control things by staying on the sidelines…so you might as well swim in the swifter currents and deeper waters where life is more exciting.

But you have to learn how to float when the currents are raging. The way you do that is to live from the center. Don’t get caught up in what might happen around the bend. You don’t know since the river is always changing. But no matter what happens you are prepared.

So as to staying calm and living from the center I have found that meditation and yoga keeps me centered. Not to say that i don’t get stressed….but these practices bring me to my center and I am able to minimize my stress and stay focused on the now. Over time that feeling stays with me for most of the day.

For you, think of what practices you can commit to, that will keep you afloat when the river is raging.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow,JD, is an Executive and Life Coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former successful trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com

Prayer for the World

Thursday, September 11th, 2008

Shortly after 911, I wrote this poem in remembrance of this tragic day. More than ever I realized that we are all in it together. Today is the 7th anniversary of that tragic moment. Let us take time to say a prayer for the world.

A PRAYER FOR THE WORLD

Find your vision
-Be your dream
–Live your life
—Know who you are

Find the light
-Be the beacon
–Light the way
—For others to see

Say the word
-That speaks to all of us

Know we will be healed
-We who are visionaries
–Visionaries of the dawn

Show the way
-Be who you are
–Now is the time
—Don’t wait any longer

We know who you are
-Your time is at hand
–Take a stand
—Take a stand at this moment in time

Join with me
-we are one
–One family
—Dreaming… hoping for a better world.

A world
-in which we see each other
–as friend rather than foe.

As brothers and sisters
-rather than our separateness
–A world in which our differences
—inspire us to look deeper.

A world in which we know
-that what we all want is to love and to be loved.

A world in which we all say yes.
-Yes to the moment.
–Yes to the spirit in all of us
—waiting to be expressed.

So join with me
-Let us see the love in each other
–The love that is all around us in each moment.

Let us say yes to love.

NAMASTE

Mark Susnow (c)2001

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow,JD, is an Executive and Life Coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former successful trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com

You have to do your part

Tuesday, September 9th, 2008

In our executive coaching session today, Fred expressed to me how his day usually goes. He leaves the house usually in a good mood. But as the day progresses, according to Fred he gets chewed up by the stresses of running his company. By the time the day is over he feels beat up and can’t wait to get home.

But home is no picnic either. His wife also has concerns. Instead of chillin, Fred has more problems to solve. And it’s the same with his wife.

Fred thinks that he will outlive his problems. “Eventually they’ll go away and then his life can go back to normal,” he thinks. But his life now is normal with all of the problems that he has.
Nothing is going to change unless Fred changes inside. If you tend to get stressed out by things, you’ll always find something to get stressed out about. That’s Fred’s nature and the nature of many others.

What i saw as positive in Fred’s life was that he started the day in a good mood. What I suggested to Fred was that he notice when he starts to get uptight. If he catches himself soon enough when he starts to lose it, he can avoid going ballistic.

The goal is to keep extending the amount of time that you can stay in the good mood. Soon you make it to noon before stressing. And over time you make it through the whole day.

But you have to do your part. As I written about previously, instead of rushing out of the house, take the time for morning meditation. Gradually that peacefulness that you leave the house in the morning with, will extend over greater periods of time. I suggest with new clients who haven’t meditated before to begin with five minutes focusing on their breath.

It’s not a quick fix. It’s something that becomes part of you, like brushing your teeth.Getting rid of stress is a serious proposition. It’s takes commitment and you can do it. Make the commitment now. Make time for you.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow,JD, is an Executive and Life Coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former successful trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com

Don’t forget to laugh at yourself

Monday, September 8th, 2008

I did something different last night. My wife, Annie, scored some great seats for Sarah Silverman. I watched the warmup act and then Sarah came on. In her matter of fact way, Sarah joked about sex and various ethnic groups. As Sarah said on numerous occasions that comedians will put it way out there to get a laugh. Anything goes.

I thought about her act and the act of other comedians that I have watched throughout the years. What is it that most comedians have in common? It’s about laughing. Most of them look for the humor in their life situation. If they’re are single, they joke about being single. If it’s being from a particular ethnic group they make fun of that group.

Their always that line between something being offensive or being funny. And that’s the way our lives are. If we’re feeling uptight, we’re more apt to be offended. Letting go is the key. If we’re feeling good, things don’t seem to bother us. If someone makes a remark that we might otherwise react to, we might joke back to them.

Of course it’s less offensive when they joke about their own situation which Sarah did about being Jewish.

Of course we go to hear comedy to be entertained; to laugh. And what the comedians do is by making fun of themselves is to model for us to see the humor in our life situation.

I’m always looking for the humor in every situation. It’s not always easy to find it. Comedians help us remember to laugh. Laughing at ourselves is a start and a place to come back to.

I’m very familiar with the idea that no matter what happens there is something to be learned. And I look for it. What if we looked for the humor in every situation. No matter what is going on, even in the midst of pain, we are able to laugh. What if we made humor a value that we began to cultivate just as success or happiness.

It’s time to laugh.

Journey On

Mark

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow,JD, is an Executive and Life Coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former successful trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com

Do you give away your power?

Friday, September 5th, 2008

In our life coaching session yesterday, Fred was ambivalent about beginning a new phase in his relationship. He was planning to live with his partner of four years.

Fred loved his partner and believed that the relationship was right for him. Yet he had those old tapes about his past failed relationships. Not only did they not work out but according to Fred he gave away his power. He was concerned that he would again give away his power.

I gave Fred a different perspective. I reminded him that he is a much different person than the person that I met a few years ago. Although he recognized this too, he had a difficult time accepting that he was a much more evolved person. But deep down he knows that he is a totally different person.

How Fred shows up in the world and the impact he makes are also different. He is a much more dynamic and powerful person than the one I met a while back. Hearing the feedback from me helps his accept this new place in his life. In fact with almost everyone that I work with, their perception of how people perceive them, is different than how people actually do perceive them. Most, if not all, do not see themselves as magnificent as others do.

I have also discussed with Fred a different paradigm. All the work that he has done on himself has prepared him for this moment. He is about to enter into an empowering partnership that will get better and better. He won’t give away his power nor will his partner let him give it away.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow,JD, is an Executive and Life Coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former successful trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibiity.com

YOU CHOSE THE RELATIONSHIP YOU’RE IN

Thursday, September 4th, 2008

As an executive and life coach we see the same issues over and over again. No matter what we are doing we have feelings and desires. We also strive to be more successful in the world.

Yesterday I wrote about Suzanne and her desire to change her partner. Her situation is very similar to what others experience. I think that what we forget is that we choose a particular partner for a reason. Ask yourself why you chose this particular partner.

For example I have always felt that I was on the family track. Yet many years ago I chose a partner who wasn’t and spent three years of my life with her. I had to look at that. What was really going on with me. If I really wanted a family at that time I would not have chosen her as my relationship partner. She didn’t try to hide that from me. However she had other gifts that she offered me, one of which was an inspiration to explore my creativity which was important to me at that time in my life. I had a band and she danced with the band.

The relationship lasted as long as it did until our needs changed. I wanted more. I wanted to go deeper. Then we moved on. It was extremely painful at the time. And when I moved on I was clear what I wanted. I got it right the next time, although you could say that it’s all perfect. Each relationship prepares us for the next.

A suggestion. The next time you are dissatisfied in your relationship ask yourself a few questions. What is it exactly that you are getting out of the relationship? Are you wiling to let that go? As I said in Suzanne’s situation for now her situation was perfect the way it was.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow,JD, is an Executive and Life Coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former successful trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibiity.com

ARE YOU TRYING TO CHANGE YOUR PARTNER?

Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008

This month I thought I would blog about what most people are working on in our life coaching and executive coaching sessions.

We’re always working on ourselves and the relationships that we are in. Let’s just call her Suzanne. Her partner of three years is much different than she is. He is worldly, successful in business and a workaholic. She is a mother, seeker of the truth and says she wants more intimacy than she is experiencing.

She has been wanting her partner to be more available both physically and emotionally and working on changing him for these last three years.

In our coaching sessions, we have discussed why this hasn’t worked. We have looked at whether Suzanne really wants the intimacy that she says that she does. After all her previous relationship was very emotional and suffocating. This one is the opposite.

We know from our work with the Law of Attraction that we attract to us what our dominant beliefs and desires our. We’re like an energy transmitter. If we think of this as a perfect universe, then it is not surprising that Suzanne chose this relationship at this time in her life. It gives her the freedom she didn’t have in the last relationship since in this relationship her partner isn’t very demanding. If she wants more intimacy then when the time is right she’ll choose it.

The next time you notice that you are trying to change your partner take a second to notice what you are doing. Why do we have this tendency? Quite often it’s because we don’t want to look at our own stuff. More on this next time.

JOURNEY ON

MARK

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow,JD, is an Executive and Life Coach, who inspires others to believe in themselves. A former successful trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. He also publishes, Letters on Life, an inspirational ezine. Signup! http://www.inspirepossibility.com


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