GOALS...THEY HONOR WHO YOU ARE

As a year comes to a close my ritual is to say “goodbye” to the year by expressing thanks for all of the blessings in my life. Soon after savoring those blessings my focus shifts to the upcoming year. My feelings run the whole gamut of emotions ranging from anxiety to excitement. My thoughts vary from what am I most concerned about to what I want to happen. Becoming clear as to what it is I want helps me get centered and gives me direction. I have found that having goals has been an essential step in making my life work. There is also a magic that occurs when working with goals. The benefits may be different than what you expected and benefit you in ways that pleasantly surprise you for the long term.

Through the years I have had conversations about goals with many people that I have worked with. For many people there is a tendency to understate what it is that they want. Their goals are modest. Their theory being that if their desires are modest then they won’t be disappointed. We all have been disappointed by life at times and it hurts. Because of this as the years have gone bye we have learned to lower our expectations and accept the status quo. Some of us feel that goals are personal and best kept to ourselves.

Goals can be a powerful ally in transforming our lives. Our whole life has been molded by the goals we have had in the past. Some goals we have reached and others we haven’t. It is my belief that reaching your goal is not as important as who you become in the process. Goals are not an end all but a beginning. Let’s face it…once you have reached your goal you will set another one. And this is true no matter what aspect of your life we are talking about. There always will be a next level to reach for. By having goals you create a focus so that in the process you become more than who you are now. The real benefit is in the process not the result. By reaching for your goal you become an expanded person. Every aspect of your life will be affected positively. The only downside to using goals might be when you become obsessed with reaching them. So be careful not to become attached to the outcome. If you don’t reach your goal who says you have to be disappointed. That is a choice you make. Just set a new one and go on from there and take with you all you have learned.

Perhaps an example from my own life will help to make some of these concepts more real. My son, Josh a college student at UCSD also works at a gym as a personal trainer. The company emphasizes that the trainers must enroll members in the trainings. My son was motivated to be one of the top enrollers for the month. Does it matter whether he reachs his goal? Like most of us he will have many other goals in the future. But what matters is who he has to become to reach his goal. He has to learn about connection and becoming empathic with others which will require him to get out of his comfort zone. He has to become knowledgeable about physiology and nutrition. Most importantly he has to learn to listen and to be totally present. Josh did well and was one of the top enrollers for the month. More importantly is what he learned in the process of reaching for his goal of becoming a top enroller. This will benefit him in all that he does now and in the future.

What about you? How can you use goals to take your life to that next level? Perhaps you want to experience more happiness or more confidence. As you begin this year what is your wildest dream…the one that you might feel embarassed to share with another person? So I ask you. What is it that you really want this year? What is your burning desire?

I love Marianne Williamson’s perspective:

Our deepest Fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory that is within us. As we let our light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

Imagine becoming the person you always wanted to be. Take a minute or so and experience this person fully. See yourself living your life now as if you were this person. Instead of thinking about who you will become in the future, think about being that person now.

What is in your way is your resistance which shows up as the reasons and excuses why you can’t be that person. Stop resisting and declare yourself. Once you accept the truth of who you are, that you are already there, the resistance goes away.

Let’s say it doesn’t quite happen this year but you get pretty close. Let’s say you don’t even get close but you did better than last year. Or perhaps you do as well as last year which was a great year. Would you be disappointed?

Lets share our gift with others. Lets share our light. Please feel free to share Letters on Life with those in your circle.


Journey ON

Mark

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational and motivational way. 415-453.5016. To find out more about Mark and his services, be sure to visit his website www.InspirePossibility.com

posted @ 2:53 PM

Labels: inspiration and motivation

CREATING RITUAL: In the last few weeks, I have contacted at least 10 people from the past. Some of them I haven't spoken with in over five years. This season I have felt compelled to connect with the past. It's felt good. I worked with some of these folks for over 10 years and yet it has been so long. We have all gone in different directions but it felt good to connect. We all are in relatively good places and it's interesting to reflect upon where we are in our lives currently.

Upon reflection, I realize that I did not appreciate their challenges. Perhaps we had different perspectives but it's all in the past. It's nice to clean up some of the yuck. It's amazing what good communication can do. It starts with good listening....listening involves caring...being interested...It goes a long way.

This season reaching out to the past has seemed like a ritual that I want to build upon. Another ritual that I am looking forward too in the next week or so is seeing the salmon spawn. It reminds me of how we are all interconnected. We are all one species.

I see ritual as a way to create more connection in our life with all that has gone before us and with all that will be in the future. Ritual is the common thread. Rituals can be simple but have much deeper meaning. What are some rituals you can create in your life? What would be the significance of that ritual?

Journey ON

Mark

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational and motivational way. 415-453.5016. To find out more about Mark and his services, be sure to visit his website www.InspirePossibility.com

LOOKING AT THE BIGGER PICTURE: As the year comes to an end I am reflecting upon all that I am thankful for. I am not thinking about the last few weeks but the year in its entirety. I am thinking of where I began the year and where I am now. I think about my family and kids, my health, my relationships and my coaching practice. There's been a lot of growth. Of course there's been a lot of ups and downs. Sometimes I get too caught up in them...that's why looking at the big picture gives me a different perspective.

It's time to celebrate all our blessings and say to ourselves" Nice job!" It's only when we look back at the entire year that we can this. So where do we go from here? Can we do better? We can and we will and we will still have those ups and downs. Especially when we play a bigger game.

What do you want to be saying about your life at this time next year? Think about the area of health, relationships, finances and those things that are most important to you. I am sure there are some things you have put on the back burner...what about them?

Journey ON

Mark

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational and motivational way. 415-453.5016. To find out more about Mark and his services, be sure to visit his website www.InspirePossibility.com

WAY BACK WHEN: I don't know if it's the season but I have had a desire to connect with old friends. Nowadays with phone calls so inexpensive, it's easy to pick up the phone and dial. Since i have been around the block more than a few times, I have a lot of close friends spread out all over the country.

They have known me for quite some time prior to my life being what it is today. In some ways that's kind of cool. We keep evolving and changing and getting into new things but there's that part of us that's like we were "way back when." As I just wrote that it got me to thinking about the expression "way back when." I guess that means a long time ago but not exactly sure how long ago. But there is that esssece, our core, that stays the same. That core reflects our core values that sometimes gets difficult to see when our life gets involved and we feel the pressures of everyday living.

Perhaps that' s why I picked up the phone and dialed in some of my old friends from "way back when." To remind me that I am on the right path...as I said sometimes it gets difficult to see. But unlesss you are committed to walking the path, no one will want to walk with you. Celebrate this holiday by reconnecting with some of those old friends from you know where.

Journey On

Mark

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational and motivational way. 415-453.5016. To find out more about Mark and his services, be sure to visit his website www.InspirePossibility.com

THE ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE: I'm already thinking about my next newsletter. And with the new year approaching my thoughts are beginning to shift about next year and what I woud like to happen. I realize now that what I focus on goes a long way toward making this happen.

It seems that much of what I have read recently and several emails are all talking about the Law of Attraction...the concept that what you focus upon expands. So if you focus on what it is you want then you attract to you more of the same. And this applies equally to whether you want it or not. So if you worry about events occuring then your focus is on what you don't want.

Many of you might be wondering if there is a technique that increases the likelihood that your life can evolve in a certain direction and the answer is yes. Since we know that what we focus on expands, then the big question is what can we do to shift our focus. And the answer is.........count your blessings. Express gratitude for all that you have in your life. By doing this, you shift your focus to what is good in your life from what is bad. Try it...It definitely will be helpful on a practical level....And spiritually it is fulfilling to express thanks for all of the blessings in our life.

Journey On

Mark

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational and motivational way. 415-453.5016. To find out more about Mark and his services, be sure to visit his website www.InspirePossibility.com

BREAKING OUT OF THE BOX: Thanksgiving has come and gone. For me Thanksgiving has become my favorite holiday although it hasn’t always been this way. I wouldn’t be at this place in my life without all of the experiences that I have had and the people I have met along the way. This applies equally to the disappointments, heartbreaks, and what I thought were mistakes. Although it didn’t necessarily seem like it at the time, all of the supposedly wrong turns have been learning experiences. These learning experiences have helped cultivate many inner resources such as love, courage, faith, curiosity, forgiveness, and acceptance enabling me to reach this place in my life.

Thanks to these inner resources my view of life is much more expansive. Part of my process has been to break free from the box that has kept me stuck. This process has required faith and much patience and with each passing year I experience more peace and freedom. There is perfection in the way the universe works. Our challenge is to trust this natural process. Perhaps this story best illustrates this process.

“A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through the little opening. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. It never was able to fly! What the man did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God’s way of readying the butterfly for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon!”

The box for us is much more difficult to recognize for it doesn’t have physical form. It consists mainly of our ideas and opinions about what is possible in our life. These ideas and beliefs are a reflection of how we have interpreted our past experiences. Because of this our current reality is limited by our past.

When we find that our present circumstances are not as we would like them to be, it is usually because our beliefs about the possibilities in our life seemed limited. What keeps us boxed in is our identification with these limiting beliefs.

Let’s take a look at how this might show up in your life. If you are in an unsatisfying relationship you need to examine your beliefs about what is possible in relationships. If your belief is that you are not lovable, most likely you will pick a partner who is emotionally unavailable. If your belief is that relationships are a struggle your relationships will be a reflection of that belief. If perhaps your belief is that relationships support you in your life journey most likely your partner will be supportive of your journey.

If it is your belief that you are a successful person most likely you will be successful in whatever you do. And if it is your belief that you sabotage your relationships or career you will probably do it again unless you break out of the box.

These limiting beliefs are the filters through which you see the world. If you want to see life differently you need to change your lens.

What helps you change the lens is to realize that these limiting beliefs are just beliefs and not reality. When you question whether these beliefs are true you realize that they are not. They are just beliefs or opinions usually based upon your interpretation of your past experiences.

Perhaps you are wondering what you can we do to transcend that box? The more you can transcend your thoughts and to be in the now, the more likely it is that you will experience moments in which you are in the flow of life. There are many ways to do this.

What helped me the most was my practice of meditation. Through the regular practice of meditation the box kept getting bigger and eventually dissolved. The old labels no longer applied and I started to see myself as a spiritual being independent of what I did in the world or how I described myself. I was no longer my past. My feelings of inner peace didn’t depend on what was going on in my life. And the corollary was also true; when everything was going well I still would experience moments of emptiness. As we start to see ourselves in a more expanded way we realize how interconnected we all are and the way we relate to each other changes.

Meditation isn’t the only way to break out of the box. At other times in my life, playing music, running and cycling have enabled me to experience this state. Many others experience this state through various practices such as sailing, climbing, pottery or painting just to name a few. What all of these practices have in common is that through them you are able to transcend time and to reach deeper levels of being.

Once we are able to access this state in one area of our life we can access it in other aspects. Let me explain how this works. Playing music has been a lifelong passion of mine.

Through music I was given the gift of listening which has been applicable to every aspect of my being. Through the gift of listening I became a better communicator. As I became a better communicator I experienced deeper connection in my life. And this has benefitted every facet of my life. It has given me the ability to hear what is being said when there is complete silence. It has given me the ability to feel the rhythm of life when everything is still. It’s the ability to embrace the paradox of life.

It’s that paradox and that mystery that I am most grateful for this year. I embrace the unknown and its new opportunities. It keeps my life exciting and full of adventure. With this expanded consciousness I am able to play a bigger game and at the same time have an increased capacity to encompass it all.

As we focus on our inner resources we realize that we have a lot to be thankful for. Though challenging at times, our lives wouldn’t be the same without them. As we journey on in this life, let’s be grateful for the faith we have had that has enabled us to keep going for it, for our courage to be honest with ourselves, and for our curiosity to be open to possibilities. Let’s be grateful for the love in our life, our ability to be playful and our ability to forgive ourself and others. Lets acknowledge ourselves for our acceptance of what is and our vision that has enabled us to be here now.

Journey On

Mark

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational and motivational way. 415-453.5016. To find out more about Mark and his services, be sure to visit his website www.InspirePossibility.com

GETTING OUT OF THE BOX: As we all know at some point in our life we start to feel boxed in by our life circumstances. Our choices seem limited by our beliefs around what is possible in our life. And when we are really honest with ourself we know that our beliefs are just beliefs and not truth. It's difficult for many of us to accept this fact, but if you do it will free you up. And what is really disturbing is that these limiting beliefs about what is possible in your life are based upon your interpretation of your past personal history. The meaning you have given to these events including labels or things people have said about you, limit your ability to make choices today.

Freeing yourself up from this past is the first step in experiencing more personal freedom in your life. Look back at your life and realize that every event and experience that has occurred has made you what you are today. Take a look at some of your past experiences. Can you give this past experience a different meaning? I know you can but even if you can't what about being open to the possibility that because of this event you are better for it. Sometimes forgiving yourself or someone else is also freeeing. Stop hanging on and let it go. Let go of your attachments and your identification with what has happened. Be willing to give it new meaning.

Journey On

Mark

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational and motivational way. 415-453.5016. To find out more about Mark and his services, be sure to visit his website www.InspirePossibility.com

GET A NEW LENS: Last night I had a conversation with a few friends. Many of us are stuck in our lives. We process over and over again what's wrong and what we don't like. For example if we are talking about relationships so much effort goes into changing the other person and into making them fit our pictures. Of course we are usually right,(ha,ha). Because we are consumed with the problem our entire life is filtered through that lens. Perhaps we need to change the lens but how do we do that.

We need to create a different picture. We need to think of something much grander. For example instead of thinking about how the relationship is preventing you from living your life, think about what your grand vision is. Think about how it would feel to be with your soul mate. Perhaps you are with the wrong person and are afraid of being alone...Or are concerned about the consequences of your actions on other family members.

Instead of complaining about your work environment, focus on one that supports you and in which you thrive. Don't lose sight of what it is you want. You deserve it. You don't have to settle for anything less.

Journey On

Mark

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational and motivational way. 415-453.5016. To find out more about Mark and his services, be sure to visit his website www.InspirePossibility.com

STRETCH OUT:The rains are finally here. It was just a matter of time and when, not if. The sky is gray and my mood is different. Today I don't feel as adventurous and I am just staying home. Yesterday I got in a great hike and I could feel the moisture in the air. That reminds me of the cyclical nature of life. After the summer the days get a little cooler and the leaves on the trees change colors and fall to the ground.

Now here we are getting ready for the winter. Starting to get into the nesting feeling...enjoying the peacefulness of the fireplace. For most of the holiday I sat around and watched sports. My teams did pretty good this weekend except for one exception. And that was because of a poor decision by the coach. The players played their heart out...but the coach made a conversative decision that cost them the game. He took it away from them. All they wanted was to go for it.

At one time in our life we all wanted to go for it but because of the ups and downs of life we have lost our daring and our sense of adventure. We very seldom take risks. But to a certain extent life is full of risks. We have to let go and to trust that it will work out. When I ask people who I work with, what their greatest regret is...most of them reply "that they didn't take enough risks."

As this year comes to a close, what are you grateful for? And what would be a stretch for you in 2007? Sometimes it takes courage to keep stretching. In fact it usually does. Keep going for it.

Journey On

Mark

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational and motivational way. 415-453.5016. To find out more about Mark and his services, be sure to visit his website www.InspirePossibility.com

THANKS LIVING: Being grateful is a spiritual practice that has profound implications. When you think about it you have a lot more to be grateful for than you sometimes realize. As we approach this Thanksgiving think about the many blessings in your life.

Think about the many qualities and characteristics that you like about yourself. Perhaps you are thankful for your curiosity and your openness. What woud it be like if you went forward living in thanks for each day? What would it be like to say Thank You? As I write this, I realize that I could say "Thank You" more often. It's acknowledging another human being. It's being present for a second longer. It forces you to slow down. It allows you to receive a gift and make a gift to another person. Try it. What does it feel like?

Journey On

Mark

JOURNEY ON is a blog dedicated to personal and professional development. Mark Susnow, an executive and life coach inspires others to experience more fulfillment and success in their life. A former trial attorney for 30 years and musician, he integrates what it takes to be successful in the world with the inner wisdom unfolded to him through years of yoga and meditation. His articles reflect this journey in an inspirational and motivational way. 415-453.5016. To find out more about Mark and his services, be sure to visit his website www.InspirePossibility.com